Wine And Duct Tape Quotes

Wine is to women as duct tape is to men, it fixes EVERYTHING! ~ Tanya Masse

Like when people (my parents) ask what I'm going to study in college and I say, "English." They say, "Oh. So you want to be a teacher?" And I want to cover my eyes and mouth with duct tape and pretend to be dead and done with it. No, you simpletons. I want to travel and write and live in a big city, and do cool things with my brain. This is not to disparage the fine and noble art of educating in any way. My English teachers have made me who I am today and I love them with a passion that surprises me. I just don't want to be one. ~ Arlaina Tibensky

I had a dream about you. We were traveling in your car. You were driving, and I was securely fastened by ropes and duct tape in the trunk. I tried telling you my family has no money, but you had to find out the hard way. ~ Jarod Kintz

Back there or maybe even taken an actual shit, and then tried to cover it up with a bunch of coconut air freshener that smelled like suntan lotion. The seats were greasy, and patched with duct tape, and the shocks were nearly gone. Whenever we struck a ~ Donna Tartt

They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton. ~ Bill Maher

A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You'll also need duct tape, an empty car trunk, a getaway driver, and the most opportune moment to snatch your mother-in-law away to never be seen or heard from again. ~ Jarod Kintz

3. The séance was for real and everyone knows it. But they won't discuss it because
A. they don't trust me,
B. they don't like me, or
C. they're playing it down because they're plotting to get me alone after school, duct tape my mouth, and throw me over the fence so Annaliese can rip out my throat with her ghostly teeth.

Okay. Now that's paranoid. ~ Jeannine Garsee

They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house. ~ Argus Hamilton

She came at him sideways, away from his legs, reaching down to pull the duct tape away. He didn't even notice the pain, spitting out the rag someone had put in his mouth earlier. She turned, and handed him a bottle of water. "You're probably thirsty. The drug I gave you tends to make your mouth dry."
"No, I think that was caused by the sock someone stuffed in there," he said. "Your work? ~ Anne Stuart

I'm being accused of being a murderer! I'M being ACCUSED of being a molester! ... They say my idea of a fun day is a dark lonely field and the urunj of a car, and a large stick and a roll of duct tape! My MOM shops at Wal-Mart! She gets calls all the time now; she's worried about me! I'm not the most emotionally stable guy in the world; I'll admit that ... I do have some problems, but my God, I'm not a murderer! ~ Al Snow

Believe it or not, kids, duct tape was not invented so you could make trashy little wallets and hideous handbags out of it. I ~ C.M. Stunich

I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels.' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees. ~ Felipe Esparza

His voice was chipper. Cinnamon hated chipper. She wrapped Chipper up in duct tape, pounded nails into it and used it to beat the crap out of Perky. ~ Barbra Annino

A smile and a laugh are the duct tape of life; they can fix anything. ~ Mike Wallace

I made plans out of hope, expectation, desire, and duct tape, and I broke those plans with my bare hands. ~ Jarod Kintz

At that moment, it just seemed as if his face was perfect. Innocent and strong. And - why not? - exotic, too, bu exotic in the sense of being distinct from most of the other faces we saw every day. A face I would design if I could design a face for the son I was never going to have. It was an Asian face. Not unlike the one I used to see in the mirror so many decades ago, the one I was so ashamed of for its distinctive contours. The one I spent years trying to alter with clothespins and duct tape. ~ Alex Tizon

Want me to roll you?" Tom asked. "Not funny." But Prophet was rock hard. Tom stalking over to him and crowding him wasn't helping. "You still have that duct tape?" "Yeah. Why?" "Come on, bebe. Let's play gator." Prophet hated the way his body responded yes - eagerly - to that question. "Think you wanna. 'M'I wrong?" Tom's drawl was thick as hell, went right down Prophet's spine, as the man's hand snaked around Prophet's waist and pushed his own hard cock against Prophet's cargo pant-clad one. "Yes. ~ S.E. Jakes

I seriously needed an extra-strength magic pillow, because my ba refused to stay put. [And no, Sadie, I don't think wrapping my head in duct tape would've worked either.] ~ Rick Riordan

I knew Denver was sincere when he told me that he would not want to trade places with me for even one day. His convictions became clear to me when I laid my key ring on the table between us at one of our earlier meetings for coffee.
Denver smiled a bit and sidled up to a cautious question. 'I know it ain't none of my business, but does you own somethin' that each one of those keys fits?'
I glanced at the keys; there were about ten of them. 'I suppose,' I replied, not really ever having thought about it.
'Are you sure you own them, or does they own you?'
That wisdom stuck to my brain like duct tape. The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced we'd enjoy life a whole lot more if we owned a whole lot less. ~ Ron Hall

We were all the same, it seemed to me, all of us dented and scratched and damaged, held together with pins and duct tape, the walking wounded making one last stand in the dark before giving in to the inevitable". ~ Greg Gifune

And-he was ashamed to admit
he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. ~ Sharon Ashwood

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers. ~ Dave Barry

In his other hand is a spear made from duct tape, a smashed Nokia phone from 1998 and a selfie stick. Welcome to the future. ~ Warren Ellis

When they searched my car, they said that they found a gasoline canister and I think duct tape. Who wouldn't have a gasoline canister on them when driving 3,000 miles across country? ~ Sherman Austin

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. G. Weilacher ~ Ian Molyneaux

He hands me his shopping list and I lead him through the store in search of the items. Duct tape? Plastic wrap? A hacksaw? Who is this guy, Dexter? ~ Andrew Shaffer

How about if I take you home and give you some insight into the male libido?" Tage asked, giving her a wicked smile.

"Typical. Fix everything with sex."

"You mean sex doesn't fix everything? I thought it was right up there with duct tape and wood glue. ~ Shari Copell

I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night. ~ Christopher Titus

Oh yes, and compulsory ferret-legging down the pub on Tuesday evenings, for the tourist trade tha' knows." "Ferret-legging?" Rachel looked at him incredulously. "Yup. You tie your kilt up around your knees with duct tape - as you probably know, no Yorkshireman would be seen dead wearing anything under his sporran - and take a ferret by the scruff of his neck. A ferret, that's like, uh, a bit like a mink. Only less friendly. It's a young man's initiation rite; you stick the ferret where the sun doesn't shine and dance the furry dance to the tune of a balalaika. Last man standing and all that, kind of like the ancient Boer aardvark-kissing competition." Martin shuddered dramatically. "I hate ferrets. The bloody things bite like a cask-strength single malt without the nice after-effects. ~ Charles Stross

Stop smiling!" she ordered. "I can see you, Carter. Oh ... and, uh, hullo, Walt."
The pot monster made squeaky grinding noises as it stood up straight. One clunky arm rose and tried to fix Sadie's nonexistent hair. Leave it to Sadie to be
self-conscious around boys, even when she's made out of pots and duct tape. ~ Rick Riordan

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together. ~ Oprah Winfrey

We are in a code orange. Homeland Security said earlier today that everyone should have a roll of duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect your house in event of terrorist attacks. Who came up with this idea? MacGyver? ~ Jay Leno

...duct tape is magic and should be worshipped. ~ Andy Weir

I've always resented the force of attraction that traps me here on Planet Earth. It makes me feel like a bug stuck to a piece of duct tape. Ever since my teenage years, when I used to read a lot of science fiction and took it much too seriously, I've dreamed of somehow reaching escape velocity. I am, you might say, anti-gravity. ~ Charles Platt

You okay?" I asked Rosie and Rosie gave me an "are you nuts, that lunatic just tied me up with duct tape" look. ~ Kristen Ashley