The Goddamned Quotes

Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people. ~ Richard M. Nixon

Run everything on a generator," Haskel said. "Got to keep it a certain temperature for the stuff I carry. Not too cold. Not too hot. There's shit in here, weather got wrong, it'd go off and blow our asses all the way to Mineola. Maybe out in the goddamned Gulf."
"I don't like to travel that far unless I got plane tickets and a steward in my lap," Leonard said.
Haskel cut an eye toward Leonard. "You mean stewardess, don't you?"
"I don't think so," Leonard said, and let Haskel churn that one over. ~ Joe R. Lansdale

I'm tired of all this. What ever happened to honesty, Arnie? What ever happened to telling the goddamned truth? It's all a fucking game here, and the object of the game isn't to do the right thing, the object of the game is to stay here. It's not supposed to be that way! ~ Tom Clancy

She's so fucking tight, and I can't wait to feel her perfect body gripping mine. We were made to be together. Everything about this feels right. She doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to make her my wife. My partner. The goddamned mother of my children. Mine. ~ K. Webster

Where's the goddamn giant? ~ Jason Aaron

You grew up on a farm but you became a woman that doesn't belong here and right now, it fuckin' kills me to admit it, I gotta focus on Jonas and I can't afford to get you the goddamned binds you want.
...
You think I don't lose sleep wonderin' what you gave up and wonderin' when you'll want it back and knowin' I can't give it to you? ~ Kristen Ashley

We think of English as a fortress to be defended, but a better analogy is to think of English as a child. We love and nurture it into being, and once it gains gross motor skills, it starts going exactly where we don't want it to go: it heads right for the goddamned electrical sockets. We dress it in fancy clothes and tell it to behave, and it comes home with its underwear on its head and wearing someone else's socks. As English grows, it lives its own live, and this is right and healthy. ~ Kory Stamper

Walk down any sidewalk in any city and eventually you'll find a flower growing out of a crack in the concrete, tenaciously grasping for life, barely enough earth for it to clench hold of. This little flower has seeded, sprouted, and blossomed, despite thousands of feet walking over and around it every day. This flower is a survivor, thriving better than if it were in my Aunt Tilda's fucking backyard garden with her fussing over it day and night and giving it all the goddamned care she thought it needed. Yeah, eventually, some careless asshole's gonna trample and kill that flower, but another one's gonna replace it. [...] I'll always believe in you, Raeburn. You just have to find another crack in the sidewalk and blossom. Don't be another Kurt Cobain. Don't give up. People need you. ~ Pete Conrad

Setting out around midnight, I couldn't help shaking my head, "We're the goddamned hottest vampire hunters ever." I muttered. ~ Richelle Mead

Monkey John looked at the dead boy. "By God, life is cheap up here on the goddamned Canadian River."
"Cheap," Blue Duck answered. "And it might get cheaper. ~ Larry McMurtry

I'm a millionaire, I guess, but I'm just a normal person and I like everybody, taxi drivers, whoever you are, to call me by my first name and talk to me on a man-to-man basis. I think the garbage collector is as important as the goddamned president. ~ Ted Turner

This is a true story but I can't believe it's really happening. It's a murder story, too. I can't believe my luck. And a love story (I think), of all strange things, so late in the century, so late in the goddamned day. ~ Martin Amis

You get this drama, babe, you got until the end of Tack's meeting to burn it out, but mark this, Lanie. After that meeting, I don't give a fuck if you're strapped into a rocket to go to the goddamned moon, I'm findin' you, we're sortin' this shit out and we're movin' on," he warned. "I just made a mental note to find a plastic surgeon who does emergency face alterations so you won't know who to look for," I shot back. "Jesus, I'm pissed as all fuck and still she's cute," he groused like he wasn't talking to me but actually complaining to the Son of God. "Jesus works on Sunday, Hop. You want a direct line, time to haul your biker ass to church," I shared. "You want me to let you go so you can burn this out, you better stop bein' cute, lady. You keep bein' cute, I'll kiss you in the goddamn forecourt and I won't give a fuck who sees." I snapped my mouth shut. "That's what I thought," he ~ Kristen Ashley

I just keep thinking about Thor. You never knew him. Big guy, like you. Good hearted. Not bright, but he'd give you the goddamned shirt off his back if you asked him. And he killed himself. He put a gun in his mouth and blew his head off in Philadelphia in 1932. ~ Neil Gaiman

Reading two pages apiece of seven books every night, eh? I was young. You bowed to yourself in the mirror, stepping forward to applause earnestly, striking face. Hurray for the Goddamned idiot! Hray! No-one saw: tell no-one. Books you were going to write with letters for titles. Have you read his F? O yes, but I prefer Q. Yes, but W is wonderful. O yes, W. Remember your epiphanies written on green oval leaves, deeply deep, copies to be sent if you died to all the great libraries of the world, including Alexandria? Someone was to read them there after a few thousand years, a mahamanvantara. Pico della Mirandola like. Ay, very like a whale. When one reads these strange pages of one long gone one feels that one is at one with one who once ...

The grainy sand had gone from under his feet. His boots trod again a damp crackling mast, razorshells, squeaking pebbles, that on the unnumbered pebbles beats, wood sieved by the shipworm, lost Armada. Unwholesome sandflats waited to suck his treading soles, breathing upward sewage breath, a pocket of seaweed smouldered in seafire under a midden of man's ashes. He coasted them, walking warily. A porterbottle stood up, stogged to its waist, in the cakey sand dough. A sentinel: isle of dreadful thirst. Broken hoops on the shore; at the land a maze of dark cunning nets; farther away chalkscrawled backdoors and on the higher beach a dryingline with two crucified shirts. Ringsend: wigwams of brown steersmen and master mariners. Human ~ James Joyce

Wanting to end my curse isn't the same as wanting to give in to an asshole. I don't care if god really did choose you. You're no worthier than any of the rest of us. No worthier than him.

We're all god's monsters.

All made in his goddamn image. If he wants his fucking world back . . . tell him to come down here and take it. If he's got the goddamn balls. ~ Jason Aaron

No such thing as destiny. But Fluff had come after me, not her
and it had brought the two of them together anyway. It was impossible to write it off as a series of accidents. Both ideas impossible to believe and impossible to dismiss. Which is what he's told me Christ knows how many times before, about the signs, the connections, the correspondence between things, the goddamned beguilement. You have to both believe it and know it can't be true, he'd said. You have to learn how to be the wry servant of two masters. I'd been so annoyed, I'd said: Yeah. I've never know what the fuck 'wry' actually means. ~ Glen Duncan

Not just the industrial farming but the sprawl, the sprawl, the sprawl. Low-density development is the worst. And SUVs everywhere, snowmobiles everywhere, Jet Skis everywhere, ATVs everywhere, two-acre lawns everywhere. The goddamned green monospecific chemical-drenched lawns. ~ Jonathan Franzen

I started to get up, but that hand tightened on my foot. I wanted to pace, needed to let off some of the nervous energy that kept me from eating half the time, kept me from sleeping. And just when I told myself I was being paranoid and everything would be fine, something tried to drown me in the goddamned bathtub.
But I didn't get up. Because then I'd lose that bried, human connection. A connection that shouldn;t have been there, because Priktin wasn't the touchy-feely type. He touched me in training, when he had to, and grabbed me in the middle of crises. But I actually couldn't recall him ever touching me just ... because. ~ Karen Chance

I once ran across a list of nearly 400 winds from around the world and wondered why Wyoming, so dominated by wind, has so few names for its variations ... There's the wind, the damned wind, and the goddamned wind. ~ Teresa Jordan

Oh, the dream. The goddamned man + baby dream. Written by the High Commission on Heterosexual Love and Sexual Reproduction and practiced by couples across the land, the dream's a bitch if you're a maternally inclined straight female and not living it by the age of thirty-seven -- a situation of a spermicidally toxic flavor. Of course you want to bring out your six-shooter every time you see another bloated mom hoisting up another pinched-faced spawn on Facebook. You want the dream too! ~ Cheryl Strayed

My brother is somewhere in here." She paused and added in an almost inaudible voice, "I think."
Owen bit back an oath. He'd been raised not to swear around ladies, but as she'd pointed out, it was going to be a long trip if he had to mind his manners when the goddamned woman was going to be so provoking. "I knew this was going to be a total waste of time. ~ Joan Johnston

Each man must not think only of himself, but also of his buddy fighting beside him. We don't want yellow cowards in this Army. They should be killed off like rats. If not, they will go home after this war and breed more cowards. The brave men will breed more brave men. Kill off the Goddamned cowards and we will have a nation of brave men. ~ George S. Patton

I called Isaac, who cursed life and the universe and God Himself and who said where are the goddamned trophies to break when you need them, and then I realized there was no one else to call, which was the saddest thing. The only person I really wanted to talk to about Augustus Waters's death was Augustus Waters. ~ John Green

Because enough talking. It was time for the goddamned kissing, hard and fast and smooth and slow and any and every way in between, until Tommy was humping his thigh. ~ S.E. Jakes

What Do Women Want?"

I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in. ~ Kim Addonizio

If only it weren't for the people, the goddamned people," said Finnerty, "always getting tangled up in the machinery. If it weren't for them, earth would be an engineer's paradise. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I wanted to play ball," he stated in a way that my body got very still and my eyes, already locked to his, became glued there. "It wasn't the money. It wasn't the fame. It was the game. The goddamned game. I didn't feel like I was breathin' right if I wasn't playin' or practicin'. Felt like life was still, someone hit pause, then I'd put on my pads and jersey and walk on the field and then everything would come alive. Dad and I were Eagles fans since I could remember. Puttin' that fuckin' jersey on, Christ, Laurie ... Christ. ~ Kristen Ashley

Good job, Robin," she quipped. I glared. There is no reality, no train of thought, no plane of existence where I am not the goddamned Batman. I kept this to myself, of course. Batman doesn't tell others he's Batman. Everyone just knows it. And they should. I ~ R.R. Virdi

You expecting a collapse, Gunny?" "The technical sergeant is repairing alien technology with a piece of torn uniform - I'm expected the Goddamned tunnel to blow up." "Ressk's helping." Mike's voice sounded muffled. "And that makes all the difference," Torin snorted. ~ Tanya Huff

She remembered her first-ever boyfriend of over thirty years ago, who told her he preferred smaller breasts than hers, while his hands were on her breasts, as if she'd find this interesting, as if women's body parts were dishes on a menu and men were the goddamned diners.

This is what she said to that first boyfriend: "Sorry."

This was her first boyfriend's benevolent reply: "That's okay. ~ Liane Moriarty

I could not put your new novel down. At 950 pages and weighing in at over ten lbs. I couldn't even pick the goddamned thing up! ~ Fred Barnett

I wanted to be a sex goddess. And you can laugh all you want to. The joke is on me, whether you laugh or not. I wanted to be one -- one of them. They used to laugh at Marilyn when she said she didn't want to be a sex-goddess, she wanted to be a human being. And now they laugh at me when I say, "I don't want to be a human being; I want to be a sex-goddess." That shows you right there that something has changed, doesn't it? Rita, Ava, Lana, Marlene, Marilyn -- I wanted to be one of them. I remember the morning my friend came in and told us that Marilyn had died. And all the boys were stunned, rigid, literally, as they realized what had left us. I mean, if the world couldn't support Marilyn Monroe, then wasn't something desperately wrong? And we spent the rest of the goddamned sixties finding out what it was. We were all living together, me and these three gay boys that adopted me when I ran away, in this loft on East Fifth Street, before it became dropout heaven -- before anyone ever said "dropout" -- way back when "commune" was still a verb? We were all -- old-movie buffs, sex-mad -- you know, the early sixties. And then my friend, this sweet little queen, he came in and he passed out tranquilizers to everyone, and told us all to sit down, and we thought he was just going to tell us there was a Mae West double feature on somewhere -- and he said -- he said -- "Marilyn Monroe died last" -- and all the boys were stunned -- but I -- I felt something sudden and cold in my solar pl ~ Robert Patrick

On My Response to Having My Tires Slashed Oh, don't go to the goddamned cops. They're busy with real shit. I don't want my tax dollars going to figuring out who thinks you're an asshole. ~ Justin Halpern

Damn him. Damn everything. Why is it all so goddamned hard? ~ Candace Bushnell

Words can," Susan said. "And tone of voice. You're just so goddamned autonomous that you won't explain yourself to anybody. ~ Robert B. Parker

Nothing matters in this goddamned lunatic asylum of a world but dough. ~ William Lindsay Gresham

I can't wait to have my mouth on you again. I'm gonna eat you like I'm on death row and you're my last goddamned meal. ~ Helena Hunting

Jesus, Krys, maybe you wanna talk to me before you hire some sorry-ass, old, fat, suburban bitch to drag around our goddamned bar? ~ Kristen Ashley

Feet pue tan!" she shouted.
Ty cleared his throat, looking at Zane wryly. "She just called me a goddamned son of a bitch."
"I like her," Zane responded. ~ Abigail Roux

There was magic, and there was magic. Thanks to Gutenberg, I could no longer pull wands, potions, and light sabers out of books, but when it came to research, give me a well-stocked library and I was a goddamned Merlin. ~ Jim C. Hines

Threats, Prophet? After all we've been through."
"Promises. And I'm really goddamned good at promises. ~ S.E. Jakes

I fucking love you, you goddamned librarian. ~ Alice Clayton

It doesn't matter what he thinks of himself. Sure he's egotistic, so what? It takes that kind of ego to make a man attempt a thing like this. I've seen enough of men like him to know that mixed in with that pompousness and self-assertion is a goddamned good measure of uncertainty and fear. ~ Daniel Keyes

I sometimes think we deserve to die, we're all so goddamned stupid. ~ Greg Bear

And you can't do anything without God. God hates us, you know. That's why so many believe we have to love Him so much. What feeble goddamned pussies we are. ~ Larry Kramer

You can't assume a goddamned thing in this Navy. ~ Herman Wouk

Don't tell me I didn't notice you. I noticed every goddamned thing about you. ~ Meghan March

I don't want to see Bev get hurt. Not after all those years of shoveling Roger's shit, and um ... this is awkward. I'm just wondering - "
"I'm keeping her," Tom finally said with exasperation.
John choked on his beer. "You're keeping her?"
"That's what I said."
"Does she know you're keeping her?"
"Nope. Not yet. Keep it under your hat."
"No problem. Good luck."
"I don't need any goddamned luck. I got daisies. ~ Penny Watson

I like people thinking I'm an asshole. Being an asshole is my life's vocation; I'm a goddamned asshole professional. ~ James Alan Gardner

Is there anything you can do?'
'Well, in college I was studying-'
'Don't give me your goddamned life story! I'm interested in your trade, skill, talent, profession, ability, whatever you want to call it. What, specifically, can you do?'
'Well,'Marvin said, 'I guess, when you put it that way, I can't do anything much. ~ Robert Sheckley

You can put off your dreams, your desires, your careers, your farms. You can avoid your responsibilities, obligations, promises, and sovereign rights. But any person who wants to make music, and doesn't, is a goddamned fool. ~ Jenna Woginrich

Do you have any notion of how goddamned crazy you are? ~ Cormac McCarthy

What is it about her that is so goddamned special? ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

I knew you were crazy, but I didn't realize that you were out of your goddamned mind!! ~ Cassandra Clare

One touch from you ... ," water coated his lips, gathered in thick drops on his dark lashes, "makes me feel more than a whole goddamned orgy. ~ Aleksandr Voinov

I eat as much as I ever did, I drink more than I should, and my sex life is none of your goddamned business. ~ John Wayne

If you thought it was my goddamned fault, couldn't you have called me and told me he was gone? it would have been fucking plus to come to his fucking funeral, you bloodless whore - you ever think of that? ~ Amy Lane

I refuse to be anyone's mistake. If anything, I'm a goddamned privilege. ~ Meghan March

I'm not goddamned mermaid either, so don't get any ideas about shell-bras or selling my voice to a sea-witch. That little idiot deserved to die. Never give up your voice for a man, you fucking guppy. ~ Catherynne M. Valente

Riiiight," you interrupt,
"I was just checking
to make sure that
what me and my friend do
was actually none of your
goddamned
business… ~ Hosho McCreesh

Jules: Emma. I need you, always, always think about you, I was wishing you were with me in that goddamned attic and then I turned around and you were there, like you heard me, like you're always there when I need you ... ~ Cassandra Clare

I'll remind her of how fat her arms looked in that slutty dress she wore at senior prom. That always makes her cry. Like goddamned Niagara falls. ~ Meg Cabot

I love you, Emilia. I love you so goddamned much that I can't breathe when I don't know where you are or how you are doing. This last month has been torture. I wonder if it's possible to have room in my heart for anything else but these feelings. ~ Brenna Aubrey

Writing is too goddamned hard for me to think about a soul in teh world ... I don't think about a soul, but just try to get those goddamned characters to act right. ~ Ernest J. Gaines

Poor goddamned rummies,' Marie said. 'I pity a rummy.'
'He's a lucky rummy.'
'There ain't any lucky rummies,' Marie said. 'You know that, Harry.'
'No,' I said. 'I guess there aren't. ~ Ernest Hemingway,

You're telling me I'm being attacked by a bunch of goddamned queers? ~ Brandon Shire

I want to own every part of you," he continued, his breath hot against my skin. "I want to throw you face-first across this counter, rip off those shorts, and fuck you hard and fast until my goddamned cock stops hurting and my balls don't feel like they're gonna explode. Because they've felt that way for a helluva long time, Soph, and I'm startin' to think it's not gonna go away unless I do something about it. ~ Joanna Wylde