Soccer Mom Quotes

I hate people who sneak into first class to use the bathroom. I'm sitting there, in 4F, sipping Cristal and admiring my new line of jewelry for QVC, and suddenly, busting through the curtain and rushing toward the bathroom is some doughy soccer mom holding her crotch and yelling, "Emergency, emergency!" No, it's not!!! Opening the main hatch and pushing you out at thirty thousand feet for disturbing me is an emergency. ~ Joan Rivers

I have a very broad demographic, from the 8-year-old who knows every word to 'Ice Ice Baby' and the college kid who grew up on 'Ninja Rap' to the soccer mom and grandparent. ~ Vanilla Ice

Country was about character. Country's changed because of monsters like Clear Channel who bought up all the stations and sliced them up into formats. Our demographic is now the soccer mom. ~ Gary Allan

I'm a soccer mom. I'm T-ball, soccer, karate, homework, keeping them on their schedules. I love being the snack mom, when I get to bring the cut oranges. I have one of those coolers with wheels. I'm at every game, every practice, sitting on my blanket. I love it. ~ Pamela Anderson

I would love being the soccer mom. ~ Jamie Lynn Spears

I always just had a dream to spend more time with my father. But at the end of the day, my mom was the one who kept me in soccer,who kept me doing my homework, who provided me with meals on a daily basis. ~ Hope Solo

Bricks could be used to make a billion dollars. It's easy! All you need to do is fill up a shopping cart full of bricks, park it outside of a grocery store, and wait for the coming hyperinflation. Then, when some soccer mom walks by with a shopping cart full of cash, to purchase a loaf of bread, you trade your tangible assets for her imaginary money and boom! you are now a billionaire. ~ Jarod Kintz

I have a 16 year-old son, so I'm now a soccer mom. I stand on the sidelines and I hear the things parents are saying, so I want them to understand what it is their kids are feeling in any sports environment. ~ Brandi Chastain

The biologist and intellectual E. O. Wilson was once asked what represented the most hindrance to the development of children; his answer was the soccer mom. He did not use the notion of the Procrustean bed, but he outlined it perfectly. His argument is that they repress children's natural biophilia, their love of living things. But the problem is more general; soccer moms try to eliminate the trial and error, the antifragility, from children's lives, move them away from the ecological and transform them into nerds working on preexisting (soccer-mom-compatible) maps of reality. Good students, but nerds--that is, they are like computers except slower. Further, they are now totally untrained to handle ambiguity. As a child of civil war, I disbelieve in structured learning . . . . Provided we have the right type of rigor, we need randomness, mess, adventures, uncertainty, self-discovery, near-traumatic episodes, all those things that make life worth living, compared to the structured, fake, and ineffective life of an empty-suit CEO with a preset schedule and an alarm clock. ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Strawberry milk," I say, eyeing him as we head toward the counter. "Really."
He turns to me. "Do you have something to say about my snack selections?"
"Nope." I fall into line behind him. "I just didn't realize you were a middle-school girl going to a slumber party."
"And I," he says, plunking his strawberry-fest down on the counter, "didn't realize you were a soccer mom justifying her chocolate craving with the fact that raisins are a fruit. ~ Emery Lord

Think: who has vans, huh? Soccer moms and serial killers. ~ Libba Bray

My mom was always the supplier of soccer balls, and so people were always knocking on my door, and trying to get me out so we could play. ~ Freddy Adu

If (environmentalists) want to continue to beat those drums to solicit money from concerned soccer moms, they can do that. The reality on the ground is things are better as a result of Gale Norton's tenure. ~ Christopher West

I got to say 'Hi' to Dolly Parton, which my mom thought was kind of cool. ~ Landon Donovan

How about I pick out something for your mom, and you pick out something for mine? That way if our moms hate what we got, which they won't say if they do, we can push the blame off on each other. ~ Keary Taylor

Every time you recall a memory, you're basically making another copy of it and at that same point it is susceptible to new changes and adaptations. So, you know, if you remember from when you were, you know, in second grade and there was Christmas and you got a present from your grandfather and your mom was wearing a red dress, that may or may not all have happened. ~ Pete Docter

What my mom failed to understand was that I didn't even want long hair
I needed long hair. And my desire for protracted, flowing locks had virtually nothing to do with fashion, nor was it a form of protest against the constructions of mainstream society. My motivation was far more philosophical. I wanted to rock. ~ Chuck Klosterman

We folded up newspapers and made them into boats. We'd see whose would float the longest before it got bogged down, soggy, and sank. My father gave us a few pennies each day, which we'd toss and try to land on rocks.We'd wade in and get them again and again.Then we'd flip them in one final time to make a wish. Bliss and I could keep ourselves entertained for hours, but of course we became more and more aware that the whole forest was right there -- waiting for us to explore.
We didn't go far at first, not beyond where we could hear Mom call for us from the back door of the barn, but it gave us a whole new playground. We found a fallen log that we walked like a plank. There was a tree with a low straight branch that we could dangle and swing from. We gathered pine cones and tossed and batted them with twigs. ~ Riel Nason

There is only one mother in this world who is the best one; the one that every kid has got. ~ Vikrmn

Tell no one your secrets, Daphne's mom always said, but make them think that you have. It creates the illusion of intimacy. ~ Katharine McGee

You never wondered, Did Mom like being in the kitchen? ~ Kyung-Sook Shin

We've figured out our roles: I wanted someone to take care of the male roles - the big stuff - and Laird [Hamilton] does that very well. I'm here to be the mom and make it better for him, and that's my choice. ~ Gabrielle Reece

I felt him there with me. The real David. My David.
David, you are still here. Alive. Alive in me.
Alive in the galaxy.
Alive in the stars.
Alive in the sky.
Alive in the sea.
Alive in the palm trees.
Alive in feathers.
Alive in birds.
Alive in the mountains.
Alive in the coyotes.
Alive in books.
Alive in sound.
Alive in mom.
Alive in dad.
Alive in Bobby.
Alive in me.
Alive in soil.
Alive in branches.
Alive in fossils.
Alive in tongues.
Alive in eyes.
Alive in cries.
Alive in bodies.
Alive in past, present and future.
Alive forever. ~ Kelly Easton

No one else may have noticed when he made himself into the best back on the whole team, but his mom was there every step of the way. ~ Fredrik Backman

Second letter from Mom:
So! What if you colored the world? This still does not seem a great thing. In fact it seems very natural that you eventually got to paint the entire world. Those colors of yours were always strange; they didn't go away since you were born. ~ Elena D. Calin

Seeing no better jobs on the horizon than flipping hamburgers with so much grease it would make Portugal, Italy, and Spain jealous, I decided to go back to school. It reminds me of something Zelda's mom told her in November 2007: "Some people flip condos and make millions. Your boyfriend couldn't even flip burgers and make minimum wage. ~ Jarod Kintz

You may have a silver medal, but I was the top scorer on my second grade team. ~ Leslea Wahl

I lead Paco through the house. We pass Shelley in the family room looking at some magazine. "Shelley, this is Paco. He's Alex's friend. Paco, this is my sister, Shelley."
At the mention of Alex's name, Shelley gives a happy squeal.
"Hey, Shelley," Paco says.
Shelley smiles wide.
"Shell-bell, I need you to do me a favor." Shelley bobs her head in response as I whisper, "I need you to keep Mom occupied while I talk to Paco."
Shelley grins, and I know my sister will come through for me. ~ Simone Elkeles

It's the same affect of your mom putting on one of those flesh tone Band-Aids when you really wanted a hello Kitty one. It did the job, but that was about it ~ Erynn Mangum

The baby went without a name for weeks. Mom said she wanted to study it first, the way she would the subject of a painting. We had a lot of arguments over what the name should be. I wanted to call her Rosita, after the prettiest girl in my class, but Mom said the name was too Mexican.
"I thought we weren't supposed to be prejudiced," I said.
"It's not being prejudiced," Mom said. "It's a matter of accuracy in labeling. ~ Jeannette Walls

You have to be patient with him. Travis doesn't remember much about it, but he was close to his mom, and after we lost her he was never the same. I thought he'd grow out of it, you know, with him being so young. It was hard on all of us, but Trav ... he quit trying to love people after that. I was surprised that he brought you here. The way he acts around you, the way he looks at you; I knew you were somethin' special. ~ Jamie McGuire

I knew you'd know," Mom said in a stabilizing, more confident, yet still husky voice. A smile broke across her face in the simple relief of her only remaining child not being shocked by the death of her youngest. She smiled genuinely, perhaps for the first time since cradling Dustin's body as the fire truck alarm blared towards the house in response to her 911 call. Her son had died that morning in her arms as she tried resuscitating him with her own breath, but the first indication of her daughter's reaction was calm. The child raised to expect death met the first moments of the news with seeming serenity. ~ Darcy Leech

My favorite shirt to sleep in is the one my birth mom was wearing when she died in my arms. Morbid for some perhaps but comforting to me. ~ Jillian Barberie

I hated meatloaf. It was like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. So I told Mom because I was honest that way. I sat back, squared my shoulders, and met her eyes, all confident-like.
Mom, meatloaf's like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. It should be outlawed, frankly, and serving it for dinner is like child abuse and should carry with it some pretty stiff penalties. ~ Hayden Thorne

Everyone who sits on a sofa watching 'Match of the Day' is a top soccer expert, as you know. So if you start to worry about such people reading your story and saying, 'That'd never happen' you're going to freeze up. You're writing fiction, and your characters can do whatever you need them to do. ~ Mal Peet

With a body like he has, I want him to be a bully. But he is too nice - he is perfect son-in-law material, but I don't want a team of son-in-laws. ~ Graeme Souness

Look to yourself for the answer - stop calling your girlfriends and stop calling your mom - you know if it's working or not, you either feel like a goddess or you don't ~ Lady Gaga

Wren's voice dropped. "She feels terrible about it, Cath."
"Good!" Cath shouted. "So do I!" She took a step closer to her sister. "I'm
probably going to be crazy for the rest of my life, thanks to her. I'm going to
keep making fucked-up decisions and doing weird things that I don't even
realize are weird. People are going to feel sorry for me, and I won't ever have
any normal relationships - and it's always going to be because I didn't have a
mother. Always. That's the ultimate kind of broken. The kind of damage you never recover from. I hope she feels terrible. I hope she never forgives herself."
"Don't say that." Wren's face was red, and there were tears in her eyes.
"I'm not broken."
There weren't any tears in Cath's eyes. "Cracks in your foundation." She
shrugged.
"Fuck that."
"Do you think I absorbed all the impact? That when Mom left, it hit my
side of the car? Fuck that, Wren. She left you, too."
"But it didn't break me. Nothing can break me unless I let it."
"Do you think Dad let it? Do you think he chose to fall apart when she
left?"
"Yes!" Wren was shouting now. "And I think he keeps choosing. I think
you both do. You'd rather be broken than move on."
"Dad's sick, Wren," she said as calmly as she could manage.
"And your omelette's burnt. And I'd rather be broken than wasted." She set
the plate on the counter. "You can tell Laura to go fuck herself. Like, to infin ~ Rainbow Rowell

Actually, my mom doesn't let me touch any of my money out of my bank. She says she is going to keep it there until I am 18, and I don't think anyone can touch that. No money has been taken out of there. ~ Dakota Goyo

We have not made cricket and football [soccer] professional because of any astonishing avarice or new vulgarity. We have made them professional because we would have them perfect. We have dedicated men to them as to some god of inhuman excellence. We care more for football than for the fun of playing football. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

I like Daniel. He takes care of you."
I blinked. "Oh my God. Did you really just say that? He takes care of me?"
Dad flushed. "I didn't mean it like-"
"Takes care of me? Did I go to sleep and wake up in the nineteenth century?" I looked down at my jeans and T-shirt. "Ack! I can't go to school like this. Where's my corset? My bonnet?"
Dad sighed as Mom walked in with her empty teacup.
"What did I miss?" She said.
"Dad's trying to marry me off to Daniel." I looked at him.
"You know, if you offer him a new truck for a dowry, he might go for it. ~ Kelley Armstrong

Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough. ~ Jonathan Woodgate

OK, the wonderful thing about soccer is, a football is a perfectly round object, and it doesn't make mistakes. The player using it makes mistakes. And the more you use it, the less mistakes you make. ~ Craig Johnston

On the day that you were born, you began to die. Do not waste a single moment more! ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

In Australia, I can just say to my mom, 'I'm going down the street.' And I can walk around pretty much all the places I know. ~ Kodi Smit-McPhee

I come from a family of writers. My mom had been a writer, nonfiction books, and her mother was a playwright in the 1930s and '40s. And my twin brother, Alexi, is a writer on 'The Following.' ~ Noah Hawley

For the past thirty-nine years since I had graduated from college, I had called my parents on Sundays. They had expected and looked forward to the ritual. After Dad died, I still called Mom on Sundays. Most of the time I dreaded the call because she had become more and more insular and was full of complaints about the assisted living facility, the other residents, her health, everything. She had become narrow in her interests in life, more negative, more critical, and unhappier. I was reminded of something I had heard from a psychologist about what happens as we age. He said we become more of who we are, not less. Our energy to fight back the negative attributes we all possess is not as strong as we get older. So we can become more cantankerous, more irritable. I also remembered what my father had often said: "There but for the grace of God go I." That Sunday I placed the ~ Janis Heaphy Durham

Since I've become a mom, I'm more about comfort and simplicity. I'm essentially a jeans girl, and I dress them up or down with accessories. ~ Jessalyn Gilsig