Ozzy Quotes

Oh, hello there, my name's Ozzy Osbourne, and I've been bonking groupies for a couple of months, and I think my knob might be about to fall off, would you mind terribly giving me a shot of penicillin to make sure my missus doesn't get whatever I've got? ~ Anonymous

I think if a man can create something like an atom bomb, he can surely create something with his own mind. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'll buy myself some plastic water, I should have married Lennon's daughter. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'm not so comfortable with politicians. Meeting them always just feels weird and a bit creepy, no matter who it is. For example, I met Tony Blair during The Osbournes period at this thing called the Pride of Britain Awards. He was all right, I suppose; very charming. But I couldn't get over the fact that our young soldiers were dying out in the Middle East and he could still find the time to hang around with pop stars.
Then he came over to me and said, 'I was in a rock'n'roll band once, y'know?'
I said, 'So I believe, Prime Minister.'
'But I could never work out the chords to "Iron Man".'
I wanted to say, 'F**k me, Tony, that's a staggering piece of information, that is. I mean, you're at war with Afghanistan, people are getting blown up all over the place, so who honestly gives a f**k that you could never work out the chords to "Iron Man"?'
But they're all the same, so there's no point getting wound up about it. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'll only retire in the day I should be dead and they have me buried, and some idiot spell over my casket some stupid gospel stuff. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I kept hearing that metal is dead and Ozzy's dead and people that like Ozzy are dead. I have never had an empty seat. I've always sold out, so who's saying it's all over? ~ Ozzy Osbourne

With marriage, you've just got to stick it out. You can't jump off the boat at the first bump in the waves. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

It's gotta be any parent's worst nightmare when they lose their child. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

All these polo-necked wankers from grammar schools were going out and buying songs like 'San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Some Flowers in Your Hair)'. Flowers in your hair? Do me a f**king favour.
[...]
Who gave a dog's arse about what people were doing in San Francisco, anyway? The only flowers anyone saw in Aston were the ones they threw in the hole after you when you croaked it at the age of fifty-three 'cos you'd worked yourself to death.
I hated those hippy-dippy songs, man.
Really hated them. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

There is something f-king unbelievable about seeing all of the fans go crazy and chanting 'Ozzy!' I would pay to see them.. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

It was the first time I'd ever been in a Roller. I sat there in the back seat, like the King of England, thinking, 'Three years ago, you were a puke remover in a slaughterhouse, and before that you were doling out slop to child molesters in Winson Green. Now look where you are.' ~ Ozzy Osbourne

A foolish picture I live in disgust, degradation being eaten by lust. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Chocolate thickens the saliva, which isn't good news if you've gotta recite Shakespeare or sing Iron Man. Having said that, you're not supposed to drink tea either but I still do before gigs. It's not very rock and roll, but it's like a magic potion to me. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I have no faith in my ability to judge things. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

If that's the only thing that's stopping war then thank God for the bomb. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

You've got to believe in yourself, or no one will believe in you. Imagination is like a bird on the wing, flying free for you to use. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Most guys my age are boring human beings. They sit in bars, get drunk, and then go home to tell their kids the way to rule their lives, while they're absolutely stewed out of their brains. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

The most unbelievable thing about my behaviour is that I was convinced it was entirely f**king normal. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'd have to say that "Mr. Crowley" in my most memorable solo ... I had spent hours trying to figure out a solo for the song ... Ozzy came in and said "it's crap - everything you're playing is crap" .. he told me to get in there and just play how I felt. He made me really nervous, so I just played anything. When I came back to listen to it, he said it was great.. ~ Randy Rhoads

Tell me where do I belong in a sick society? ~ Ozzy Osbourne

We're talking about humans inhaling the toxic life force sucked out of a demon from another world.' Quite possible the weirdest sentence I'd ever said aloud ... 'And according to your mom, if they survive addiction-and that's a big if-their scrambled brains'll make Ozzy Osbourne look rational and coherent. ~ Rachel Vincent

My favourite prank in heavy metalwork was to get a penny and spend three or four minutes making it really hot with a blowtorch, and then leave it on Mr Lane's desk, so that he'd see it and pick it up out of curiosity.
First you'd hear: 'Waaaaahhhhhh!'
Then: 'Osbourne, you little bastard!'

Heh-heh-heh.
The old hot-penny trick. Priceless, man. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

There are no indisputable truths. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I hated school. Hated it. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I grew up having to piss in a bucket 'cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I'll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don't have to strain. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

The thing is, I've never believed in feuds. Don't get me wrong: I've been angry with people. Very angry – with people like Patrick Meehan, or that lawyer who tried to bill me for a drink, or Bob Daisley. But I don't hate them. And I don't wish them any harm. I reckon hating someone is just a total f**king waste of time and effort. What do you get out of it in the end? Nothing. I'm not trying to come over like the Archangel Gabriel here. I just think that if you're pissed off with someone, call them an arsehole, get it out of your system, and move on. It's not like we're on this earth very long. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

What can go wrong will go wrong. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

My older brother was into Creedence Clearwater Revival and ZZ Top, and my sister was into pop radio. So somewhere along the line, I got into Ozzy Osbourne, REO Speedwagon, Heart, Pat Benetar, Journey. ~ Martina Mcbride

'Dad,' said Jack one day. 'When you're on the telly, d'you think people are laughing with you or at you?'
The question had obviously been bothering him for a while.
'Y'know what,' I said to him, 'as long as they're laughing, I don't care.'
'But why, Dad? Why would you want to be a clown?'
'Because I've always been able to laugh at myself, Jack. Humour has kept me alive over all these years.'
And it's true, y'know. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

There are no invisible seams. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I discovered rock'n'roll. You could go round Europe in a van with your best mates, drinking beer, smoking dope and screwing chicks. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I loved working on '90210,' and I liked playing Ozzy because he was different from everybody else. And it was great because I got a great fan base. ~ Michael Trevino

It was always fun in the early days of Black Sabbath, when I stayed away from heavy drugs. Then someone gave me cocaine and I went, "Hallelujah!" I thought I'd found the meaning of life! ~ Ozzy Osbourne

We set up our gear for the tune-up and Tony [Iommi] launched into the opening riff of 'Black Sabbath' – doh, doh, doooohnnnn – but before I'd got through the first line of lyrics the manager had run on to the stage, red in the face, and was shouting, 'STOP, STOP, STOP! Are you f**king serious? This isn't Top-Forty pop covers! Who are you people?'
'Earth,' said Tony, shrugging. 'You booked us, remember?'
'I didn't book this. I thought you were going to play "Mellow Yellow" and "California Dream-in'".'
'Who – us?' laughed Tony.
'That's what your manager told me!'
'Jim Simpson told you that?'
'Who the hell's Jim Simpson?'
'Ah,' said Tony, finally working out what had happened. He turned to us and said, 'Lads, I think we might not be the only band called Earth.'

He was right: there was another Earth on the C-list gig circuit. But they didn't play satanic music. They played pop and Motown covers. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

To be a parent, especially to rock & roll kids, I think being a parent is the most difficult job on the face of the earth. You hate to say things that will upset your kids, but then sometimes you have to because you can't let them run around wild. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Just another lonely broken hero picking up the pieces of my mind. Running out of faith and hope and reason, I'm running out of time. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

'Wow, dude, come in,' said Tommy [Lee], when I rang the door-bell. 'I can't believe it. Ozzy Osbourne's in my house.' ~ Ozzy Osbourne

When you're young, you're stupid. You do silly things. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I've been a practicing alcoholic and drug addict for most of my life. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

As for the kids, once the damage is done with a divorce, you can't ever make it right. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

What was Dionysus going to go? Send him back to his hellish isolation? He'd been there, done that, and had the Ozzy T-shirt to prove it.' (Styxx) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

I used to get upset by people not understanding me, but I've made a career out of it now. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Killing a pig for a good old fry-up is one thing. But there's no excuse for being cruel, even if you're a bored teenage kid. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

You've got to try and take things to the next level, or you'll just get stuck in a rut. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

It's just human nature - isn't it? - to be more attracted to something that's taboo. If someone tells you not to smoke, you wanna smoke. If they say, 'Don't do drugs,' you wanna do drugs. That's why I've always thought that the best way to stop people taking drugs is to legalise the f**king things. It would take people about five seconds to realise that being an addict is a terribly unattractive and pathetic way to be, whereas at the moment it still has that kind of rebel cool vibe to it, y'know? ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Even now, I have a lot of trouble understanding why Sharon stayed – or why she married me in the first place, come to think of it. I mean, she was actually afraid of me half the time. And the truth was I was afraid of me, too. Afraid of what I'd do to myself or, even worse, to someone else. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Obviously [Black] Sabbath is definitely a huge name and of course deserving with Ozzy coming back. ~ John Petrucci

I'm dyslexic, I have attention-deficit disorder, and I've got something like a hereditary tremor. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

We'd recorded Black Sabbath in one day. Sabotage took about four thousand years. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I never thought I could write anything or do a show sober, ever. But I did the Black Sabbath shows sober, and it was so much better fun for me, and everybody. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Taking five or ten or fifteen years to make an album, like Guns N' Roses did, is just f**king ridiculous, end of story. By that time, your career's died, been resurrected, and then died again. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'm about caring, I'm about people, and I'm about entertaining people. I'm a family man. A husband. A father. I've been a lot of other things over the years, which we don't really want to talk about. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

In the Seventies I was so scared I wouldn't go on stage. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

During the first break-in I grabbed a load of hangers and thought, 'Magic', I'll be able to sell this stuff down the pub. But I'd forgotten to take a flashlight with me, and it turned out that the clothes I'd nicked were a bunch of babies' bibs and toddlers' underpants.
I might as well have tried to sell a turd. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I know that I'm here - I believe that I'm here for a purpose. I believe in forces of fate. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'm a very simple man. You've got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off ... and the nightmare continues. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I've banged my head quite a bit. I liked Iron Maiden, Ozzy, AC/DC. And of course, Ratt and Poison. ~ Cameron Diaz

When I slept outside in winter, it wasn't unusual for me to wake up blue in the face with icicles on my nose. In those days, there was no such thing as hypothermia. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

The funny thing about GPS was it didn't always send you in the right direction.
I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I'd get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve.
Wut the foock? ~ Darynda Jones

When I was doing drugs and alcohol, I thought I'll have a drink and a line of this and I'll smoke this. I didn't go, 'Then I'm going to go out and get drunk, come back strangle my wife and wake up in jail on charges of attempted murder,' but that's what happened. I'm not telling people what to do. If they can enjoy doing it and they get on with it and they can handle it fine, but don't involve me. I'm lucky to be alive; you're playing with Russian roulette. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I once asked Ozzy Osbourne, truly one of my favorite people in the world, if he was cool with singing Black Sabbath songs year after year, whether he was performing with Black Sabbath or out on a solo tour. He said it was great. ~ Henry Rollins

'Ozzy, is it true you got busted for pissing on the Alamo?' he asked me.
'Yeah,' I told him. 'It's true.'
'Shit, man,' he said. 'We piss on it every night on our way home.' ~ Ozzy Osbourne

If you go out for a drink, you go out for a drink. You don't think, 'I'll have a few pints. I'll piss up this shrine.' ~ Ozzy Osbourne

People say it's hard at the top, but it's even harder at the bottom. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Children of the future, watching empires fall. Madness the cup they drink from, self destruction the toll. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Like most things that happen with Sabbath, it happened all of a sudden. I was intending on doing some recording, but out of the blue, Sharon called up and said she wanted us to do these gigs with Ozzy. I said that if everybody else was up to it then I would love to do it. ~ Tony Iommi

You gotta be really careful what you bite off. Don't bite off more than you can chew. It's a dangerous world. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Voices in the darkness scream away my mental health, can I ask a question to help me save me from myself? ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Occasionally, I go off the rails. I once nearly killed somebody once - it wasn't funny. I am a lunatic. The pressure of work, the pressure - everyone has a stop valve, and I don't have one. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Mind you, no one who lives in the real world spends the whole time going around saying, 'Oh yes,darling, I understand, let's talk about our "feelings", lah-dee-f**king-dah.' People who say they've never had a cross word are living on another f**king planet. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I always feel like I am on the dark side of the tracks. I feel I'm no good. I can't read. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Never in a million years did I think I'd end up making a career out of singing. I didn't think it was possible. As far as I knew, the only way I could make any dough was to go and work in a factory, like everyone else in Aston.
Or rob a f**king bank. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the f-ck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH! ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I was a free man, and I'd survived prison without being arse raped or beaten to a pulp.
So how come I felt so f**king sad? ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I was fifteen when I left school. And what did I get to show for my ten years in the British education system? A piece of paper which said:

John Osbourne attended Birchfield Road Secondary Modern.
Signed, Mr Oldham (Headmaster)

That was f**king it. Not a single qualification. Nothing. I had two career choices: manual labour or manual labour. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

All I ever wanted to do was to do something good so that my parents could be proud of me. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I believe in what I do. I mean, I don't go out - I don't have the clothes or drink anymore, I don't do drugs or any of that. I used to. But I got very ready to get me out of the house. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

We're going off the rails on a crazy train. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Rock and roll is my religion. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

It [retirement] was absolutely boring. You can't go and say, 'I'm retired now. That's it!' It won't take long and you're really gone for good and someone throws the last shovel of dirt on a coffin with your name on it. That's the moment you're really retiring - when you die. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Long before there was Marilyn Manson, long before there was Alice Cooper, way before Ozzy Osbourne, there was Screamin' Jay Hawkins ~ Reverend Billy C. Wirtz

I knew it was time to get off of reality TV when someone asked me if I sang as well as acted. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Thank God for the bomb. Nuke ya, nuke ya. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I don't know whose brilliant idea that was, but it wasn't mine, that's for sure. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Black Sabbath wasn't like the Bon Jovis of the time. We were just a bunch of guys that were against the grain of society. And we sung about things that people thought back then. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

People want it to be red, like blood. It's kind of funny. When I used to throw meat into the audience, I'd get letters from kids' mothers saying, "What's the best way to get blood stains out of my son's shirt?" ~ Ozzy Osbourne

The road to nowhere leads to me. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

There are no identical twins, or forgivable sins. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

They said I would never write this book.
Well, f**k 'em – 'cos here it is.
All I have to do now is remember something...
Bollocks. I can't remember anything. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I hardly ever went to the AA [alcoholics anonymous] meetings. I've just never felt comfortable in those places. It's my worst zone. I'll get up and sing my heart out in front of two hundred thousand people at a rock festival, but when I've got to talk about the way I feel to people I've never met before, I can't do it. There's nothing to hide behind. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

'Paranoid' went straight to number four in the British singles chart and got us on Top of the Pops – alongside Cliff Richard, of all people. The only problem was the album cover, which had been done before the name change and now didn't make any sense at all. What did four pink blokes holding shields and waving swords have to do with paranoia? They were pink because that was supposed to be the colour of the war pigs. But without 'War Pigs' written on the front, they just looked like gay fencers.
'They're not gay fencers, Ozzy,' Bill told me. 'They're paranoid gay fencers.' ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I was twenty now, and had given up all hope of being a singer or ever getting out of Aston. PA system or no PA system, it wasn't going to happen. I'd convinced myself that there was no point in even trying, because I was just going to fail, like I had at school, at work, and at everything else I'd ever tried. 'You ain't no good as a singer,' I told myself. 'You can't even play an instrument, so what hope d'you have?' ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I have the greatest respect for Tony Iommi. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Bands like The Move, Traffic and The Moody Blues were proving that you didn't have to be from Liverpool to be successful. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

It's sad, y'know, what money does to people. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Nobody tells me f-k all! ~ Ozzy Osbourne

The way I was boozing was a kind of suicide. It was only gonna be a matter of time. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'll kind of tend to beat myself up because I just want it to sound better than better. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'm not trying to twist people's heads around. I'm not trying to say, "Believe in me." ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I'd rather see twenty thousand smiling faces than twenty thousand crying people. ~ Ozzy Osbourne