Loo Quotes

Loo, life is black and white. You don't know what's good for you, because you don't see the black and white! You don't see where the black lines end and where the white lines begin! You're going to grow up to be no good if you keep on that way. It's impractical. I only have one child, and I won't have her growing up to be impractical. I can't think of a worse thing to be than impractical! ~ C. JoyBell C.

Got back and went to use the loo in Room 5 and was shocked at the state of it. Christian the producer was not well and had made a mess of it and the walls surrounding it. Even the cockroaches were running out the door. For the first time in my life I was aware that my face did a disgusted look. I decided I'd rather do it on the street than sit in there. ~ Karl Pilkington

Art you can flush down the loo means nothing to me, even were the loo to be selected by Marcel Duchamp ~ Andrew O'Hagan

I grew up having to piss in a bucket 'cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I'll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don't have to strain. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

She'd ended up passing out, and sometime later, John must have gotten up to use the loo and left the light on. Probably to make sure she didn't feel lost if she woke up.
Because that's the kind of male he was. ~ J.R. Ward

My father would go shopping, and he was supposed to buy loo roll or something, but he'd always come back with some fish or shellfish. And we've always had fresh vegetables from the garden. He is a massively keen gardener, so he grew all our tomatoes, artichokes, asparagus - whenever he wasn't working, he was in the garden. ~ Tom Parker Bowles

Until one morning, one of the coldest mornings of the year, when I came in with the book cart and found Jean Hollis Clark, a fellow librarian, standing dead still in the middle of the staff room.
"I heard a noise from the drop box," Jean said.
"What kind of noise?"
"I think it's an animal."
"A what?"
"An animal," Jean said. "I think there's an animal in the drop box."
That was when I heard it, a low rumble from under the metal cover. It didn't sound like an animal. It sounded like an old man clearing his throat.
Gurr-gug-gug. Gurr-gug-gug.
But the opening at the top of the chute was only a few inches wide, so that would be quite a squeeze for an old man. It had to be an animal. But what kind? I got down on my knees, reached over the lid, and hoped for a chipmunk.
What I got instead was a blast of freezing air. The night before, the temperature had reached minus fifteen degrees, and that didn't take into account the wind, which cut under your coat and squeezed your bones. And on that night, of all nights, someone had jammed a book into return slot, wedging it open. It was as cold in the box as it was outside, maybe colder, since the box was lined with metal. It was the kind of cold that made it almost painful to breathe.
I was still catching my breath, in fact, when I saw the kitten huddled in the front left corner of the box. It was tucked up in a little space underneath a book, so all I could see at first was its head. It loo ~ Vicki Myron

Stars walk among us! Just keep your expectations low because they might be going to a shoe or the loo, for that matter! ~ Tom Harvey

No way, Loopy Loo. You aren't hoardin' all the action." He turned to Indy, "You're drivin' because we can all fit in your silly-ass car. When we see a break in the coffee action, I'll go home and get my shotgun. ~ Kristen Ashley

He'd had a few sordid gay experiences. He'd wrestled with an obese neighbour boy in Clermont-Ferrand when he was fourteen and last year had been approached in the Clermont-Ferrand train station loo by an obscene old man who'd removed his dentures, wagged his tongue, and pointed to his open, pulsing mouth. ~ Edmund White

The trail of lime trees outside our building is still a public loo. ... where else are they supposed to go to the toilet in a city where public toilets are about as common as UFO sightings? (pp.281-82) ~ Sarah Turnbull

our outside loo, known as the Betty, was a good loo; whitewashed and compact with a flashlight hanging behind the door. I smuggled books in there to read them in secret, claiming constipation. ~ Jeanette Winterson

My sister actually has a "thinking face." It makes people wait before speaking to her. Dad says my thinking face makes it look like I want to go to the loo. ~ Jojo Moyes

If I ran the country there'd be courses in things that you'd actually use your whole life. Like: How to do eyeliner. How to fill in a tax return. What to do when your loo blocks and your dad isn't answering the phone and you're about to have a party. ~ Sophie Kinsella

The thing is, I was so bursting for the loo that I thought my bladder was going to explode. I could hardly speak, let alone make it up your stairs. When you threw the key down and I had to bend over to pick it up, I thought that was it, I was going to flood the road! And I'm not even exaggerating. I've never been so desperate in my life. ~ Jill Mansell

Bang! Clang! Bang! Clangity bang, rat-a-tat! "Reuben, I have been thinking, what a good world this might be, if the men were all transported far beyond the Northern Sea."
"Oh,no!" Willow rose off Rider's lap so fast her forhead bumped his chin.
"What is that racket?" he asked, standing and following her to the window overlooking the street.
One corner of her mouth quirked in mock disgust. "Take a look for yourself."
Clangity bang! Rat-a-tat! The men below beat their pots and pans with wooden spoons and, in a couple cases, gun butts.
"Rachel, I have long been thinking, what a fine world this might be, if we had some more young ladies on the side of the Northern Sea. Too ral loo ral. Too ral lee."
"Looks like your brothers and the whole Niners team!" Rider laughed. "What are they doing?"
"Haven't you ever heard of being shivareed, husband?"
Outside the boisterous, drunken voices broke into another chorus of Reuben and Rachel. "Rachel, I will not trasport you,but will take you for a wife. We will live on milk and honey, better or worse we're in for life."
Willow chuckled as all up and down Allen Street lights began to glow through every window. Someone in a room down the hall lifted their window, threw a chamber pot at the crooners, and followed it with a foul epithet. Undaunted, the man broke into a chorus of Aura Lea.
"They sure have lousy timing," Rider commented wryly. "Just how long does this little serenade last?"
Seei ~ Charlotte McPherren

It's all right now, Louisa: it's all right, young Thomas,' said Mr. Bounderby; 'you won't do so any more. I'll answer for it's being all over with father. Well, Louisa, that's worth a kiss, isn't it?'

'You can take one, Mr. Bounderby,' returned Louisa, when she had coldly paused, and slowly walked across the room, and p. 18ungraciously raised her cheek towards him, with her face turned away.

'Always my pet; ain't you, Louisa?' said Mr. Bounderby. 'Good-bye, Louisa!'

He went his way, but she stood on the same spot, rubbing the cheek he had kissed, with her handkerchief, until it was burning red. She was still doing this, five minutes afterwards.

'What are you about, Loo?' her brother sulkily remonstrated. 'You'll rub a hole in your face.'

'You may cut the piece out with your penknife if you like, Tom. I wouldn't cry! ~ Charles Dickens

Patience, Loo-Sha," Soren said as he leaned a shoulder against the wall. To this, Zun snorted a single laugh.
"That is like telling the wind to stop blowing," he added, deadpan. ~ Poppy Rhys

It was like looking in a mirror. The same flickering hope in Loo, the same desperate need to be loved, was right here in Marshall's mother. And it was in Principal Gunderson, clutching Lily's waist in that old prom photo. And it was Agnes, pressing her feet into the stirrups, listening for her child's cry. And it was in Hawley, mourning with his scraps of paper in the bathroom. Their hearts were all cycling through the same madness - the discovery, the bliss, the loss, the despair - like planets taking turns in orbit around the sun. Each containing their own unique gravity. Their own force of attraction. Drawing near and holding fast to whatever entered their own atmosphere. Even Loo, penning her thousands of names way out at the edge of the universe, felt better knowing others were traveling this same elliptical course, that they would sometimes cross paths, that they would find love and lose love and recover from love and love again - because, if they were all going in circles, and Loo was Pluto, then every 248 years even she would have the chance to be closer to the sun. ~ Hannah Tinti

A Tribute to the Kite ...
Oh such joy what a splendor has never
been heard, of a string that would lend you the wings of a bird. ~ Sara Loo

I loved a lass, a fair one,As fair as e'er was seen;She was indeed a rare one,Another Sheba queen:But, fool as then I was,I thought she loved me too:But now, alas! she's left me,Falero, lero, loo! ~ George Wither

He went his way, but she stood on the same spot, rubbing the cheek he had kissed, with her handkerchief, until it was burning red. She was still doing this, five minutes afterwards. 'What are you about, Loo?' her brother sulkily remonstrated. 'You'll rub a hole in your face.' 'You may cut the piece out with your penknife if you like, Tom. I wouldn't cry!' THE ~ Charles Dickens

All my life I've swam in the loo butterfly style. ~ Faina Ranevskaya

Colour is a matter of personal opinion. ~ Tessa De Loo

I'm not very good at relaxing. Reading's the main thing. On the bus, on the tube, on the loo. Literally all the time. I mean, I don't think there's a moment of the day when I wouldn't be if I was left alone. ~ Samuel West

Hush, hush, my bonnie sweet lamb. Tho' my ship must sail in the morning, I will be with you When the salt spray fans the shore, I will be with you When the wind blows the heather, I will be with you when the dove sings her song, Sing ba la loo laddie, sing ba la loo dear Hush, hush, my bonnie sweet lamb. ~ Carol Goodman

poo parlor division" instead of "loo. ~ Louise Rennison

I never believed it. That day in the Port-a-loo, while the world's largest lemon meringue pie baked, I was convinced I was having my last miscarriage. But then the bleeding stopped. It was just "spotting," as the medical world cheerily calls it. A spot of rain. A spot of bother. But even when the spotting finally stopped, I didn't believe I was having a baby. ~ Liane Moriarty

Could I just use the loo?" I asked the nice officer.
"No." She closed the door in my face, As if I might rig an explosion in the toilet. Honestly. ~ Rick Riordan

When I was collecting material for a political gossip column, and someone said something interesting, I would wait for them to add, 'and I don't want to read that in your magazine!' In which case I wouldn't use it. But if they didn't remember to say it, I'd nip off to the loo, write the story up, come back and change the subject. ~ Simon Hoggart

He's better now, Loo. He's taking care of the cats. ~ C. JoyBell C.

It's a great thing to be "great," Loo, and you and I might tug for a life, and never accomplish it, but no one can stop our looking on, and you know some cannot sing, but the orchard is full of birds, and we all can listen. What if we learn, ourselves, some day! ~ Emily Dickinson

Perhaps the most pressing need for there to be a forever after, is because that is how long it will take man to thank his Creator for all His wondrous deeds. ~ Sara Loo

Are you still with this man?
On no, She sniffed. I realized pretty quickly I couldn't marry a man without a bookshelf.
No bookshelf?
In his house. Not even a little one in his loo for the Reader's Digest.
Many people in this country don't read books.
He didn't have one book. Not even a true crime. Or a Jeffrey Archer. I mean, what does that tell you about someone's character? ~ Jojo Moyes

How can a river that rises in a black forest and discharges in a black sea be celebrated as blue? ~ Tessa De Loo

A beautiful bridge is a poem. ~ Tessa De Loo

Kindness went out to play all on a summer's day. With her about many smiles came out and joined in sweet array. ~ Sara Loo

You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'.
You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO! ~ Eddie Izzard

She almost topples out of bed one morning and Remus has to grab hold of her waist. "Center of gravity is off, huh?" he says, doing his best not to chuckle because she's become irritable in this last month.

"Maybe just a little," she concedes with a huff. He helps her up with a gentle push and she toddles towards the bathroom. "Seriously, if I spend any more time in the loo I'm going to move in here permanently."

"Practical, but I don't think you'd enjoy taking your tea in there. ~ Firetoflame

Toor rul lol loo, gammon and spinnage, the frog he wouldn't, and high cockolorum, ~ Charles Dickens

It's not what you're thinkin!" Jennah squawks, turning pink. "My God, you men only have one thing on the brain! We went for a walk in the park!"

"Well, we didn't exactly do very much walking," I interject, determined to wind her up.

Harry begins to laugh.

Jennah gasps in outrage. "We sat and watched the swans on the lake, thank you very much, Harry!"

Harry is still laughing. "Now could that possibly be a euphemism for--"

Jennah yelps and whacks Harry on the back of the head. Harry cries out in mock outrage. "Aargh! Is this how she treats you, Flynn? Whacking you if you don't make the bed in the morning, whacking you if you don't put the loo seat down--! ~ Tabitha Suzuma

I like looking nice, but I always put comfort over fashion. I don't find thin girls attractive; be happy and healthy. I've never had a problem with the way I loo. I'd rather have lunch with my friends than go to the gym. ~ Adele

Everything is important, but there is a weight to these big or expected things and then there is the logistics of them and it's trying to find, while you worry about for instance the ballroom scene, how do you get 500 people to go to the loo in corsets and don't cost you an hour and how do you remember while you're organizing all that to take a breath and say, 'Well the scene is about all of that and it's about [Prince] hand on the small of [Cinderella] back as well' and we need time to do that properly as well. ~ Kenneth Branagh

Don't be silly." I turned to my suitcase, pulling out my pajamas. "I'm just going to go change . . ." He coughed down at his own suitcase, open on a chair in the corner of the room. "Of course." I changed, washed my face, put my hair up, pulled my hair back down, put it up again. Moisturized. I brushed my teeth, used the loo, washed my hands, moisturized again. Brushed my teeth again. I stalled. And then, stepping out, I let him past me to do the same routine, realizing as he walked into the loo that he had only a pair of shorts in his hand. He slept shirtless. Fuck me sideways. However, when he finally came out of the restroom, Jensen was still wearing his T-shirt, to my enormous dismay. "I thought you slept shirtless." What. What did I just say? He looked up at me in surprise. "I mean, I usually do, but . . . ~ Christina Lauren

I was foreign and Jewish, with a funny name, and was very small and hated sport, a real problem at an English prep school. So the way to get round it was to become the school joker, which I did quite effectively - I was always fooling around to make the people who would otherwise dump me in the loo laugh. ~ Alain De Botton

People feel like they know you because they've read about you, and people who don't know me seem to have warm feelings about me. I seem to be popular with women. I go into the loo in restaurants, and they all say, 'Oh, I love you.' It's odd, but it's really nice, too. ~ Jerry Hall

I'm really sorry, Jess, but she's going to have to have your room.'

'My room?' exploded Jess. 'There's a perfectly good spare room upstairs!'

'Yes, but you see, darling, Granny can't manage stairs quite so easily anymore. Since Grandpa died and she had that fall, you know- well, her house is too much for her to manage on her own. [...] Granny has to be on the ground floor, love. She can use the groundfloor loo, and we'll convert the old coal shed at the back into a bathroom.'

Jess was too furious to speak. No, wait, she wasn't. 'Where am I supposed to sleep then?' she snapped. 'Out on the pavement? ~ Sue Limb

Gra was always mildly irritated by any display of decorum, or good taste, if he felt it was a direct challenge to his deepest beliefs. When I mentioned once that Connie and I had guests coming to dinner that evening who were a bit formal and stuck-up, he carefully cut out some very small pieces of paper, wrote an obscenity on each one, and then hid them round our flat in all the rooms our guests were likely to visit. Connie found one of these just ten minutes before they were due to arrive: a moment of pure panic that set off a frenzied paperchase, as we raced around the apartment trying to find them all before the doorbell rang. We missed one, which he had placed on the basin in the visitors' loo. It simply read, 'Anus'. I've always wondered whether our guests speculated why we might have put it there. ~ John Cleese

Jack Wise he got the prize for being circumspect, which is the great big grown up way of saying he's correct. ~ Sara Loo

When you, existentialists, speak to me of consciousness, fear, and nothingness, I burst with laughter not because I don't agree with you, but because I must agree with you. I agreed and, loo and behold, nothing happened ... I laugh because I delight in fear, play with nothingness, and toy with responsibility. Death does not exist. ~ Witold Gombrowicz