Humor Walking Quotes

I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on ~ Josh Stern

If he didn't get out of here - right now - Harrier was either going to break into hysterical laughter or strangle somebody. ~ Mercedes Lackey

Men always think I'm too demanding... but all I ask is that they treat me like the goddess I am. ~ Kathy Shaskan

Have you read your UNDERPANTS today? ~ Dav Pilkey

He'd spent so much time in the penalty box for fighting last season, he'd been tempted to hang a picture and maybe set up a lava lamp, it had felt so much like home ~ Rachel Gibson

Use your judgement."
"But I have so little. ~ Stephen King

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace.
"It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath."
"As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome," said Simon.
"I knew we should have left you a rat. ~ Cassandra Clare

She doesn't respond, of course. She smirks. I guess she thinks of a smirk as a greeting. ~ Vera Jane Cook

I can't tell you what it's like to be in Europe, for example, to be talking about the greatness of America. But the true greatness of America are the people. ~ George W. Bush

I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face. ~ Johnny Depp

Oatmeal Face, Jawless, and the other revenants dragged me out of the van by the zip tie between my hands. The sharp plastic bit painfully into my wrists.
"All right, all right, I'm coming," I said. "Keep your faces on."
There was no reaction from any of them. Humor was wasted on the dead. ~ Nicholas Kaufmann

But grief still has to be worked through. It is like walking through water. Sometimes there are little waves lapping about my feet. Sometimes there is an enormous breaker that knocks me down. Sometimes there is a sudden and fierce squall. But I know that many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. ~ Madeleine L'Engle

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor. ~ Christopher Hitchens

Don't forget to give Neville our love!' Ginny told James as she hugged him.
'Mum! I can't give a professor love!'
'But you know Neville-'
James rolled his eyes.
'Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give him love ... ~ J.K. Rowling

Change is seen as something evil only by those who have lost their youth or sense of humor." That was Cookie Mueller on the East Village, 1985. The ~ Sari Botton

It's like this ... a starving man would gladly eat a radish, right? In fact, a radish would be a feast if that's all he had. But if he had a buffet in front of him, the radish would never be chosen. ~ Colleen Houck

As Hazel marched down the hill, she cursed in Latin. Percy didn't understand all of it, but he got son of a gorgon, power-hungry snake, and a few choice suggestions about where Octavian could stick his knife. ~ Rick Riordan

There's no better cure for snobbiness than a good a** kicking. ~ Kristin Kimball

Walking up to the Whisky some guys said to me 'the Scene is dead. Stop wearing makeup faggot!' All I could do was smile and think about the BVB Army and the legions of dedicated fans BVB has. I will wear my warpaint proudly, thank you very much! Seriously love you all. ~ Jinxx

I did whatever it takes to do stand-up. There is an abundance of material in struggling and poverty and trying to make it. There is so much humor in that, it's unlimited. ~ Dat Phan

If you were crossing the road and saw a black cat passing, you may possibly get hit by a car, or a mail boy or the sky could rain in summer, possibly snow. Those were theories, none of them were true. It was like karma; it only happens to you if you believed in them. Myths, Cecilia called them. The guy looked frozen. This is silly, she thought. He could not be that affected by the cat. Cecilia had been working here for a year and she wasn't struck by lightning, she was alive, of course, nobody chose the cat so this is why she was the oldest pet in the store. ~ Basma Salem

My father was a man, and I know the sex pretty well. ~ Elizabeth Gaskell

Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know. ~ Cassandra Clare

I may become weak and start listening to what my body has to say more than my brain. So I elect you the responsible one."

"I've been crazy about you since we met. You've elected Bill Clinton president of the chastity club. ~ Robin Alexander

Life is too short to give a fuck. Jump in the pool butt ass naked and do it up. ~ Richard P. Denney

If you can understand the humor in the drawing part you'll probably get the humor in the audio part. ~ Eric San

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ George Carlin

She was gone then in a flurry of bonnet ribbons and clicking slippers. I turned, paying no attention to where I went, wishing the city would swallow me, conscious now of the hunger rising to overtake reason. I was almost loath to put an end to it. I needed to let the lust, the excitement blot out all consciousness, and I thought of the kill over and over and over, walking slowly up this street and down the next, moving inexorably towards it, saying, It's a string which is pulling me through the labyrinth. ~ Anne Rice

Choose and create a circle of proper advisors around you. Do not discuss your project with your relatives, neighbor, grandmother, friends' friends, pastor, or babysitter! Thank God pets can't talk or you'd probably ask their opinions too! ~ Dmytro Zaporozhtsev

All walking is discovery. On foot we take the time to see things whole. ~ Hal Borland

And then - thwack! - Anne had brought her slate down on Gilbert's head and cracked it - slate not head - clear across. ~ L.M. Montgomery

since i will not send this, i also feel it is my duty to inform you that almost six months on I think I still love you and that makes me sad becaue love shouldn't feel this way. is like getting kicked in the stomach every time i think of you and it makes me want to roll my face across this keyboardbiu;///ubEWdcfhugiov'byhi;.//////-='-0i9juh8ygtfdcsaazs34defg7uefg7u8hi9o0p8hi9o0p-[[09ju8dcsaazs34d9o0p-[[09. ~ Jay Kristoff

The way humor's usually used in horror, it's as a pressure-release valve; without it, the drama would escalate out of all control almost immediately. ~ Stephen Graham Jones

My secret is cool and mysterious like a jagged scar across my chest, and not dull and heavy like I gave up church buy not the angst. ~ J.C. Lillis

So people really do tear out their hair and beat the ground with their fists ~ Suzanne Collins

I forget sometimes I need to eat and drink now. ~ Cassandra Clare

She is a famous artists' model who claims to have been christened Topaz - even if this is true there is no law to make a woman stick to a name like that. ~ Dodie Smith