Hilarious Love Quotes

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. ~ Maurice Chevalier

Love is messy. I want that. ~ Leah Konen

I love 'Robot Chicken,' 'The Boondocks' and 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' Then there's this show called 'The First 48.' It's a documentary about killings where they try and find murderers. They interrogate people and they tell on each other - it's hilarious. ~ ASAP Rocky

I love tiny, plastic realistic food magnets. I don't know why. They're hilarious. ~ Amy Lee

Anthony watched him, dumbfounded, and then turned to Lucy. "What have you done with Zack's brain?"
Lucy stood to follow Zack. "What brain? I don't think he has one. I think he's just one giant exposed nerve ending. I swear sometimes at night, I can hear his neurons snapping like popcorn. ~ Jennifer Crusie

Love, a promise delivered already broken. ~ Lisa Unger

You'd throw yourself in front of a bus for me."
She would and he knew it.He knew it and she knew that he felt that knowledge burrow deep and he liked it.
Elle felt tears stinging the backs of her eyes, her body melted into his,her arms tightened around him and she whispered back, "Yes,Pren,though I hope I never get the chance. ~ Kristen Ashley

Her next words took me by surprise. I lay as still as I could, barely breathing, afraid that if I moved she would stop speaking her heart.
"My mom wanted six children. She only got me, and that sucks for her because I was a total weirdo."
"You were not," I said.
She twisted her head up to look at me.
"I used to line my lips in black eyeliner and sit cross-legged on the kitchen table … meditating."
"Not that bad," I said. "Crying out for attention."
"Okay, when I was twelve I started writing letters to my birth mother because I wanted to be adopted."
I shook my head. "Your childhood sucked, you wanted a new reality."
She snorted air through her nose. "I thought a mermaid lived in my shower drain, and I used to call her Sarah and talk to her."
"Active imagination," I countered. She was becoming more insistent, her little body wriggling in my grip.
"I used to make paper out of dryer lint."
"Nerdy."
"I wanted to be one with nature, so I started boiling grass and drinking it with a little bit of dirt for sugar."
I paused. "Okay, that's weird."
"Thank you!" she said. Then, she got serious again. "My mom just loved me through all of it. ~ Tarryn Fisher

Dont shave,I like it..It helps with one of my new fantasies."
"Yeah ?"Zack shifted a little to the center on top of him for maximum pleasure."What new fantasy is that ?"
Lucy grinned,the sleepiness in her smile melting into guile."The one about the innocent schoolteacher and the vicious,uncivilized cop.Want to play ?"
"Sure."Zack ran his hands up her back."Who do you want to be ?"
"I,of course will be the innocent schoolteacher"Lucy batted her eyes at him.
"Which makes me the cop.All right you have the right to remain naked."
Lucy laughed. ~ Jennifer Crusie

Brian's face broke out in a wide grin as he slapped Roarke on the back. "That's a woman, isn't it?"
"Delicate as a rose, my Eve. Fragile and quiet natured." He grinned himself when he heard her curse, loud and vicious. "A voice like a flute."
"And you're sloppy in love with her."
"Pitifully. ~ J.D. Robb

Oh, poor baby," she said, mimicking his drawl.
"Whew. You're back. There was this other Susie here a minute ago, and she was really nice to me. She scared the shit out of me."
She laughed. "They locked her back up in the loony bin."
"Good, because there's only one Susie for me - the one who calls me on my crap and doesn't let me get away with jack shit. That's the Susie I need. That's the Susie I've missed coming home to over the last year." He kissed her. "And that's the Susie who's going to leave a gaping hole in my heart and my life if she doesn't give me another chance. ~ Marie Force

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it 'maturity'. ~ Charlie Chaplin

Life is a quest and love a quarrel ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

For love to be forever, first it must be true. ~ Moffat Machingura

Money-it can buy your kids anything, but it cannot teach them love, respect, and the true value of living life without things. ~ Carew Papritz

He always felt like an untamed animal around Sarah, but lately it was different. She was all he ever thought about, and any time away from her felt too long. Angel closed his eyes and kissed her. Then the words came out without warning. 'I love you, Sarah.' -Angel Moreno ~ Elizabeth Reyes

Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows." ~Paulo Coelho The ~ R.K. Lilley

Freedom is entirely different from revolt. There is no such thing as doing right or wrong when there is freedom. You are free and from that centre you act. And hence there is no fear, and a mind that has no fear is capable of great love. And when there is love it can do what it will. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Yes, I still love 'South Park,' but I also love morning TV now. ~ Mo Rocca

I love fairytales. I like fantasy a lot, science fiction, I like magic. I like to create magic. I love magic. ~ Michael Jackson

He had an affectionate heart. He must love somebody. ~ Jane Austen

Lumpini Park at night: love at its cheapest, but the incidence of HIV is said to be over 60 per cent. In the darkness: furtive movement on benches and on the grass, muted moans and whispers, rustlings of large animals in heat, the intensity of the atomic fusion of sec and death (highly addictive, they say). ~ John Burdett

I just love creating an environment where people can open up and say what's on their mind and in their heart. ~ Elizabeth Berkley

He learned how quickly love died when you weren't looking; if you weren't looking. ~ Andre Dubus

I fell in love again (laughs). ~ Jane Campion

The Lord God must be greatly feared! We can't stand his wrath. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

I want you. I want you so much. I think I want you more than anything and that scares me, sometimes. ~ Rose Christo

The darkness wasn't negative energy, it was healing - it balanced my soul. It helped me to trust whatever unfolded and to believe and have faith in what I couldn't see. It prepared me for the battles that I wasn't prepared for. They sneaked up on me and revealed themselves without notice. When obstacles jumped out at me without warning, I knew I wasn't alone. My faith was improving during the darkest hours of my life. ~ Charlena E. Jackson

A sort of hostile transaction, very necessary to keep the world going, but by no means a sinecure to the parties concerned. ~ Lord Byron

Our first and last love is self-love. ~ Christian Nestell Bovee

I'm dangerously in love with you, so much so that I'm going to lose my fucking mind if you don't tell me again that you feel the same. ~ Kate Stewart

There are so many different ways to say "I love you" and to talk about love in the songs. ~ Celine Dion

Were knowledge all, what were our need
To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed? ~ Christopher Brennan

I've always thought real love could only come later. After you both know each other, trust each other. After days, or weeks, or months spent together - learning to understand everything that isn't spoken out loud. ~ Claudia Gray

He grunts. "Really? No one wanted them to be together. None of the gods approved. Who'd love the kind of the underworld?"
"The right person. ~ Ilsa Madden-Mills

The Praying Mantis Visits A Penthouse


The praying Mantis with its length of straw
Out of nowhere's forehead born full armed
Engaged the century at my terrace door.
Focused at inches the dinosaur insect sends
Broadsides of epic stillness at my eye,
Above the deafening projects of the age.
My love, who fears the thunder of its poise,
Has seen it and cries out. The clouds like curls
Fall in my faith as I seize a stick to stop
This Martian raid distilled to a straw with legs,
To wisps of prowess. Bristling with motionlessness
The Mantis prays to the Stick twice armed with Man.
I strike, the stick whistles, shearing off two legs
Which run off by themselves beneath some boards.
The Mantis spreads out tints of batlike wing,
The many colored pennants of its blood,
And hugs my weapon; the frantic greens come out,
the reds and yellows blurt out from the straw,
All sinews doubtless screaming insect death.
Against the railing's edge I knock the stick
Sending that gay mad body into the gulf.
Such noisy trappings in defeat wake doubts.
I search my mind for possible wounds and feel
The victim's body heavy on the victor's heart. ~ Oscar Williams

Time can heal and time can help forgive and forget because in time the memories fade. The time will go so slow so fast and love will stay if it's right. ~ Kate McGahan

With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one? ~ Ben Harper

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone. You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy. ~ Adrian Tan

Waiting

I am waiting for the special day,
when you will say "i will stay",

I am waiting for the night,
when you will be there and everything's right,

I am waiting for that magical rain,
that will wash away the distance, sepration and pain,

I am waiting for a change,
when everything will get arranged,

I am waiting for a meeting,
when i can see you, and my heart can start beating,

I am waiting for a fight,
after which i can hold you in my arms tight,

I am waiting for a blue moon,
when we can meet and i hope it will come soon,

I am waiting for the special day,
when you will say "i will stay", ~ Ratish Edwards

I still read Donne, particularly his love poems. ~ Carol Ann Duffy

It's these parallel universes when someone you love is sick. Your world is this completely foreign place involving radiation and tumor markers. Outside, people are buying sweaters. ~ Katie Couric

I've learned that love takes priority. ~ Five For Fighting

Everyone, even within a family, is different. We all have different needs, different issues we struggle with. Part of being a family is learning to face those differences, forgive, and accept so that you can move on to love. ~ Susan May Warren

But about then I began to get into different trouble and more serious. You might call it doctrinal trouble.
The trouble started because I began to doubt the main rock of the faith, which was that the Bible was true in every word ... They had staked their immortal souls on the infallible truth of every pen scratch from "In the beginning" to "Amen." But I had read all of it by then, and I could see that it changed. And if it changed, how could all of it be true?
For instance, there is a big difference between the old tribespeople's coldhearted ferocity against their enemies and Jesus' preaching of forgiveness and of love for your enemies. ~ Wendell Berry

Learning to love yourself is easier when you have someone to show you how. ~ Martina Boone

She hates me and you hate me, but you all love Harry. Nobody loves me. ~ Arnold Rothstein

I enjoy the kind of characters that allow you to write the dark stuff. I love Rachmaninoff and Tchaikovsky, and when I'm writing for Dracula or Jekyll & Hyde, I get a chance to use that vocabulary. ~ Frank Wildhorn

One cannot give what he does not possess. To give love you must possess love. To love others you must love yourself. ~ Leo Buscaglia

Love happens! I release the desperate need for love, and instead, allow it to find me in the perfect time-space sequence. ~ Louise Hay

Lord, You made us and gave us breath. May we do justice, love and mercy, and walk honorably before you this day. By the precious name of Jesus, I ask for your help to do this. Amen. ~ Dee Henderson

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea," translated Florent. "By Jules Verne. This book I have not read in many years."

"We're reading it in French class," Joseph said. "It's hard to understand, but I found a line that Uncle Albert would love."

Florent opened to a dog-eared page where Joseph had underlined a sentence and written the translation in the margin. Florent read it out loud. "'Let me tell you, Professor, that you will not regret the time spent on board. You are going to travel in a a land of marvels. ~ Brian Selznick

We should be able to stand up for our ideals and not get struck down. We should be able to protest in our streets without the need for armed protection. A world of life, liberty, and love should be allowed to blossom in our towns and cities. ~ Rivera Sun

That's why we're just friends," Armin said, so softly I barely heard. "She can't fall in love, and I can't fall out. ~ Leah Raeder

realized during the practice that a lot of what was holding me back originated from my fear of pain and suffering, and once I found myself capable of breathing in the pain and suffering of myself and others, and comfortable radiating kindness, love, and compassion, a lot of the fetters holding me back dissolved away. ~ Chade-Meng Tan