Funny Boss Day Quotes

The only time some people work like a horse is when the boss rides them. ~ Gabriel Heatter

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill. ~ Robert Heller

I define leadership as: Emotionally, you own your business. You own it with passion. And you either have or you don't have an economic investment. But when you have all three of those, you are the boss from Day One, and you care every single day more than anyone. ~ Mickey Drexler

Sunday morning dawned bright and cloudless. Ernest awoke early as always. He put on the red "Emporor's robe" and padded softly down the carpeted stairway. The early sunlight lay in pools on the living room floor. He had noticed that the guns were locked up in the basement. But the keys, as he well knew, were on the window ledge above the kitchen sink. He tiptoed down the basement stairs and unlocked the storage room. It smelled as dank as a grave. He chose a double-barreled Boss shotgun with a tight choke. He had used it for years of pigeon shooting. He took some shells from one of the boxes in the storage room, closed and locked the door, and climbed the basement stairs. If he saw the bright day outside, it did not deter him. He crossed the living room to the front foyer, a shrinelike entryway five by seven feet, with oak-paneled walls and a floor of linoleum tile. He had held for years to the maxim: "il faut (d'abord) durer". Now it had been succeeded by another: "il faut (apres tout) mourir". The idea, if not the phrase, filled all his mind. He slipped in two shells, lowered the gun butt carefully to the floor, leaned forward, pressed the twin barrels against his forehead just above the eyebrows, and tripped both triggers. ~ Carlos Baker

Christ is born, my wise Solomon, my wretched pen-pusher! Don´t go picking things over with a needle! Is He born or isn´t He? Of course He is born, don´t be daft. If you take a magnifying glass and look at your drinking water-an engineer told me this, one day – you´ll see, he said, the water´s full of little worms you couldn´t see with your naked eye. You´ll see the worms and you won´t drink. You won´t drink and you´ll curl up with thirst. Smash your glass, boss, and the little worms´ll vanish and you can drink and be refreshed! ~ Nikos Kazantzakis

It's Good ... But
No more rush hour driving
To start and end your day
No more early alarm calls
But..much less pay
No more back stabbing
Or rising to the bait
No more phone calls from the boss
Asking you to work late
But ... having to get by
On half your hourly rate
Now you have all day
To sit or doze to stay to go
Anywhere you like ...
..cheaply
You've got less dough
Travel around the world
Do anything you've desired
But do it economically
Now that you're retired ~ John Walter Bratton

Bosses should sanction the nap rather than expect workers to power on all day without repose. They might even find that workers' happiness - or what management types refer to as 'employee satisfaction results' - might improve. ~ Tom Hodgkinson

What is required as we travel towards full unemployment is not new legislation but a gradual change of mental attitude, a shift in values. As our taste for idling grows, we will refuse to work for old-fashioned bosses who demand a five-day, 40-hour, nine-to-five type week, or worse. ~ Tom Hodgkinson

You're a killer, Keeley.You'd tease a man to death."
He didn't mean it as a compliment, but to her it was a revelation. "I've never tried it before. Now one's ever attracted me enough.You do,and I dont even know why."
When she dropped her hand,he took her wrist. It surprised him to feel the gallop of her pulse there, when her eyes, her voice had been so cool, so steady. "Then you're a quick learner."
"I'd like to think so.If I come to you, you'd be the first."
"The first what?" Temper wanted to stir, especially when she laughed. THen his mind cleared and the meaning flashed through like a thunderbolt. His hand tightened on her wrist, then dropped it as though she had turned to fire.
"That scared you enough to shut you up," she observed. "I'm surprised anything could render you speechless."
"I've..." But he couldn't think.
"No,don't fumble around for words. You'll spoil your image." She couldn't think just why his dazed expression struck her as so funny,or why the shock in his eyes was endearing somehow.
"We'll just say that,under these circumstances, we both have a lot to consider.And now,I'm way behind in my work, and have to get ready for my afternoon class."
She walked away,as easily, as casually, Brian thought numbly, as she might have if they'd just finished discussing the proper treatment for windgalls. She left him reeling.
he'd gone and fallen in love with the gentry,and the gentry was his boss's daughter. And his boss ~ Nora Roberts

Arrange for supplies to be delivered every day. You'll have to write up a schedule for the men. Have Cookie plan a menu this afternoon."
Frank's eyes widened. He looked as if someone had just run over his favorite dog. "Boss, you're not taking Cookie with you."
It was more of a plea than a question. "No one else can cook for shit. What am I supposed to feed them?"
"But without Cookie, one of the boys will have to cook for those of us left behind."
"There's enough stuff frozen to get everyone through a week."
"Ah, jeez." Frank's shoulders slumped. "Why'd you have to take Cookie with you?"
Zane ignored the question. Frank knew he was stuck on the ranch. With Zane gone, Frank would be in charge.
"I'll have the two-way radios with me. With the new tower in place, you'll be able to reach me any time."
Frank was still grumbling about losing the ranch cook for a week.
"Want to trade?" Zane asked flatly.
His foreman pressed his lips together. They both knew taking ten novice riders out on a fake cattle drive through wilderness was nothing short of five kinds of hell. June weather was usually good, but there was always the possibility of a freak snowstorm, a sizable flash flood, spooked cattle, bears, runaway horses, snakebite and saddle sores.
Frank slapped him on the back. "You have a fine time out there, boss. The boys and I will keep things running back here."
"Somehow I knew you were going to say that. ~ Susan Mallery

Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day. ~ Patrick Ness

The first thing the secretary types is the boss. ~ Donald Trump

Her hands felt their way blindly along the ridges and canyons and defiles of the spine, the firm root-spread hillocks of the withers. She rolled her bony knuckles all along the fallen tree of scar tissue at the crest of the back, prying up its branches, loosening its teeth. And it must be having some effect: when she walked Pelter these days he wasn't the sour fellow he used to be, he was sportive, even funny. She had walked him this morning until the rising sun snagged in the hackberry thicket. As they swung around the barn, she took a carrot from her pocket and gave him the butt and noisily toothed the good half herself. He curvetted like a colt, squealed, and cow-kicked alarmingly near her groin. Okay, okay, she said, and handed it over. She was glad there was no man around just then to tell her to show that horse who was boss. When they were back in the stall and she turned to leave, she found he had taken he whole raincoat in his mouth and was chewing it--the one she was wearing. She twisted around with difficulty and pried it out of his mouth. He eyed her ironically. Just between us, is this the sort of horse act I really ought to discipline? she asked him, smoothing out her coat. I simply incline to your company, he replied. ~ Jaimy Gordon

The woman threw him off balance, and he didn't care for it.Giving him those hot looks and intimate little strokes in the middle of the damn morning so he went through the whole of the day itchy.
Worse yet the man who was paying him to work through the day,not to be distracted by his glands,was the woman's father.
It was a situation,Brian though, and he'd done a great deal to bring it on himself.Still how could he have known in the beginning that he'd become so involved with her on so many levels inside himself? Falling in love had been a hard knock, but he'd taken knocks before.You got bruised and you went on.A bit of attraction was all right, a little flirtation was harmless enough.And the truth was, he'd enjoyed the risk of it.To a point.
But he was well past that point now. Now he was all wrapped up in her and at the same time had become fond of her family. Travis wasn't just a good and fair boss, but was on the way to becoming a kind of friend.
And here he was finding ways to make love to his friend's daughter as often as humanly possible. ~ Nora Roberts

The question who ought to be boss is like who ought to be the tenor in the quartet? Obviously, the man who can sing tunor. ~ Henry Ford

You cannot kill your boss on the first day, you cannot kill your boss on the first day, you cannot kill your boss period ~ Samantha Young

Enjoying it? I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him on the subject of his boss. According to Mr. Crouch ... as I was saying to Mr. Crouch ... Mr. Crouch is of the opinion ... Mr. Crouch was telling me ... They'll be announcing their engagement any day now. ~ J.K. Rowling

Come Judgment Day, we may find that Mumbo Jumbo the God of the Congo was the Big Boss all along. ~ Robert A. Heinlein

Anybody who really knows about the TV business knows that it would be impossible to just march in one day and say to your colleagues and bosses, 'Oh yes, I'm hosting my own show.' ~ Andy Cohen

This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!' ~ Jane Pauley

If you are stuck in circumstances in which it takes Herculean efforts to get through the day - doing low-income work, obeying an authoritarian boss, buying clothes for the children, dealing with school issues, paying the rent or mortgage, fixing the car, negotiating with a spouse, paying taxes, and caring for older parents - it is not easy to pay close attention to larger political issues. Indeed you may wish that these issues would take care of themselves. It is not a huge jump from such a wish to become attracted to a public philosophy, spouted regularly at your job and on the media, that economic life would regulate itself automatically if only the state did not repeatedly intervene in it in clumsy ways. Now underfunded practices such as the license bureau, state welfare, public health insurance, public schools, public retirement plans, and the like begin to appear as awkward, bureaucratic organizations that could be replaced or eliminated if only the rational market were allowed to take care of things impersonally and quietly, as it were. Certainly such bureaucracies are indeed often clumsy. But more people are now attracted to compare that clumsiness to the myth of how an impersonal market would perform if it took on even more assignments and if state regulation of it were reduced even further. So a lot of "independents" and "moderates" may become predisposed to the myth of the rational market in part because the pressures of daily life encourage them to seek comfort i ~ William E. Connolly

The unfortunate thing about working for yourself is that you have the worst boss in the world. I work every day of the year except at Christmas, when I work a half day. ~ David Eddings

A chief is a man who assumes responsibility. He says 'I was beaten', he does not say 'My men were beaten. ~ Antoine De Saint Exupery

I waited tables in New York, and when you're in that line of work, you often have a horrible boss. ~ Charlie Day

It takes courage not to laugh at your boss's joke, especially if it is funny. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

That's why I bake. To fill fairies with goodness."

And it was true, she realized. She didn't run the kitchen just to boss other fairies around. She didn't give orders just to make herself feel important. Well, at least she wouldn't anymore. No. The day before, she hadn't missed that part of her job at all. She had missed the baking. She had missed creating something for others to enjoy.

And, oh, how she wanted to go back to work! ~ Gail Herman

Slavery was not a bad day on the job. It was not your boss yelling at you. It was not hard work for little pay. This was a full system of human subjugation. ~ John Ridley

Working faithfully 8 hours a day, you may eventually get to be the boss and work 12 hours a day. ~ Robert Frost

Lisa Smith-Batchen, the amazingly sunny and pixie-tailed ultrarunner from Idaho who trained through blizzards to win a six-day race in the Sahara, talks about exhaustion as if it's a playful pet. 'I love the Beast,' she says. 'I actually look forward to the Beast showing up, because every time he does, I handle him better. I get him more under control.' Once the Beast arrives, Lisa knows what she has to deal with and can get down to work. And isn't that the reason she's running through the desert in the first place-to put her training to work? To have a friendly little tussle with the Beast and show it who's boss? You can't hate the Beast and expect to beat it; the only way to truly conquer something, as every great philosopher and geneticist will tell you , is to love it. ~ Christopher McDougall

I'm single, I'm enjoying life. Being a boss. Like all true bosses, one day you gotta give it up. ~ Rick Ross

When you accept that you are not in charge of everything, you can begin to work with the one who really is in charge. This has been my experience; when I accepted that I was not in charge and started to work with someone else's plan, the Boss showed up. Now we are a team and I have less to be concerned about. He organizes my schedule. I just follow it, and when He is taking a day off my wife steps in. ~ Bernie Siegel

Life - your gunna meet some two faced people, some bosses that make your soul cringe, some places you wished you'd never walked into ... But then you'll grow, you'll learn that your gut instinct isn't nieve, your boss can ' fuck it' because your dreams are more important and the places you walked into unaware of chaos, will bring you to places of perfect peace. Hold on, the struggle won't last forever. ~ Nikki Rowe

APPROACH THIS DAY WITH AWARENESS OF WHO IS BOSS. As you make plans for the day, remember that it is I who orchestrate the events of your life. On days when things go smoothly, according to your plans, you may be unaware of My sovereign Presence. On days when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different from what you expected. It is essential at such times to stay in communication with Me, accepting My way as better than yours. ~ Sarah Young

Crooks stood up from his bunk and faced her. "I had enough," he said coldly. "You got no rights comin' in a colored man's room. You got no rights messing around in here at all. Now you jus' get out, an' get out quick. If you don't, I'm gonna ast the boss not to ever let you come in the barn no more."
She turned on him in scorn. "Listen, Nigger," she said. "You know what I can do to you if you open your trap?"
Crooks stared helplessly at her, and then he sat down on his bunk and drew into himself.
She closed on him. "You know what I could do?"
Crooks seemed to grow smaller, and he pressed himself against the wall. "Yes, ma'am."
"Well, you keep your place then, Nigger. I could get you strung up on a tree so easy it ain't even funny."
Crooks had reduced himself to nothing. There was no personality, no ego--nothing to arouse either like or dislike. He said, "Yes, ma'am," and his voice was toneless.
For a moment she stood over him as though waiting for him to move so that she could whip at him again; but Crooks sat perfectly still, his eyes averted, everything that might be hurt drawn in. She turned at last to the other two. ~ John Steinbeck