Funny Leadership Quotes

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Quotes About Funny Leadership

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For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. ~ Spike Milligan
Funny Leadership quotes by Spike Milligan
Always drink upstream from the herd. ~ Will Rogers
Funny Leadership quotes by Will Rogers
There is only one thing worse than training employees and losing them,
and that's not training them and keeping them ~ Zig Ziglar
Funny Leadership quotes by Zig Ziglar
People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything. ~ Thomas Sowell
Funny Leadership quotes by Thomas Sowell
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories. ~ John Wilmot
Funny Leadership quotes by John Wilmot
There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them. ~ Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin
Funny Leadership quotes by Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin
If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny. ~ Mary Douglas
Funny Leadership quotes by Mary Douglas
The question who ought to be boss is like who ought to be the tenor in the quartet? Obviously, the man who can sing tunor. ~ Henry Ford
Funny Leadership quotes by Henry Ford
She thought she was getting out of the Water Rising clean, because she didn't see her father anywhere around: there was only Ash and Lillian sitting at a table, and a few other patrons at as much of a distance from Ash and Lillian as they could get. She made for the door, at which point Lillian caught her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh," said Kami, eyeballing her wildly. "I'm going to buy some drugs."

Lillian stared. "I beg your pardon?"

"This is a really stressful time for everyone," said Kami. "So I thought maybe I could buy a little weed, take the edge off. I might be a while. This is a very clean-living town, apart from all the murders, so I don't actually know any drug dealers. I realize Jared kind of looks like one, but he's not, which is a shame because I think the drug dealer's girlfriend gets her drugs free."

"I realize you are attempting to be humorous," said Lillian, after a pause during which she stared some more. "I don't understand it."

"Hey, you're not the only family with a legacy. 'Glass' rhymes with 'sass.' Have you met my dad?"

"I have had that dubious pleasure," said Lillian. "He is, in fact, meant to be meeting me in order to, and I quote, 'teach me to integrate better with society, display leadership skills, win over the populace, and stop acting like a robot princess from space.' I admit that the humor in his humor escapes me as well." She paused and suddenly looked determined ~ Sarah Rees Brennan
Funny Leadership quotes by Sarah Rees Brennan
Whatever my ancestors did to you, none of them consulted me. ~ Tad Williams
Funny Leadership quotes by Tad Williams
My money goes to my agent, then to my accountant and from him to the tax man. ~ Glenda Jackson
Funny Leadership quotes by Glenda Jackson
In order to restore security for Israeli citizens, every home, mother and child in Israel, and to establish a stable and strong government that will unite the nation ... I hereby declare my candidacy for the Likud party leadership and premiership of Israel. ~ Benjamin Netanyahu
Funny Leadership quotes by Benjamin Netanyahu
God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny. ~ Anthony Jeselnik
Funny Leadership quotes by Anthony Jeselnik
Books. It's always easier to tell people that a character is funny rather than attempt to hit the punchline of a joke that character would've said. But if we all simply told, books would cease to exist. And so would empathy. And feeling. ~ Joyce Rachelle
Funny Leadership quotes by Joyce Rachelle
JFK apparently felt genuine sympathy for his 1960 presidential opponent Richard Nixon. He felt that, with Nixon's frequent shifts in political philosophy and reinventions, he must have to decide which Nixon he will be at each stop. This, Kennedy reasoned, must be exhausting. ~ David Pietrusza
Funny Leadership quotes by David Pietrusza
The best philanthropy is not just about giving money but giving leadership. The best philanthropists bring the gifts that made them successful-the drive, the determination, the refusal to accept that something can't be done if it needs to be into their philanthropy. ~ Tony Blair
Funny Leadership quotes by Tony Blair
Marcus Buckingham has a keen sense of what it takes to excel, and he backs his insights with an impressive body of in-depth interviews and research. This is an important book for anybody who aspires to effective leadership, managing, or any kind of enduring individual achievement. ~ Richard M. Kovacevich
Funny Leadership quotes by Richard M. Kovacevich
Don't try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you."
"I hate you, too. ~ Simone Elkeles
Funny Leadership quotes by Simone Elkeles
Lish tried to swear
which is always funny, because the computer won't translate it. It went something like this: Bleep stupid bleep bleep faeries and their bleep bleep bleep obsessions. He had better stop bleep bleep bleep the bleep bleep rules or I will bleep bleep bleep the little bleeeeeeeeeeep. ~ Kiersten White
Funny Leadership quotes by Kiersten White
Trust me, there are things in this mountain that will make your jaw bounce off the floor. ~ Jaleigh Johnson
Funny Leadership quotes by Jaleigh Johnson
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid. ~ Adam Carolla
Funny Leadership quotes by Adam Carolla
God' is a funny word, it implies omnipotence and omniscience. Let me assure, I am neither. ~ Brian McClellan
Funny Leadership quotes by Brian McClellan
The Klingon snarled something that sounded horribly like Christy's pissed-off texts and everyone shut up. "First Spiner's Q and A, then Nimoy's tribute while Data gets his kicks with the Orion woman. Then signed pictures for Brett and D4C. We all convene at the panel about the ethics of the temporal prime directive. Q is making an appearance and revealing their agenda. Agreed?"
All nodded.
Christy opened her mouth, but closed it again, shaking her head. Good, because no amount of translation was going to suffice. ~ Elle Aycart
Funny Leadership quotes by Elle Aycart
In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?' ~ Carrot Top
Funny Leadership quotes by Carrot Top
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish. ~ Bill Bailey
Funny Leadership quotes by Bill Bailey
A bee that makes honey is great, but a bee that makes other bees that make honey is extraordinary. ~ Matshona Dhliwayo
Funny Leadership quotes by Matshona Dhliwayo
Leadership is the act of serving others and has no gender preference. ~ Farshad Asl
Funny Leadership quotes by Farshad Asl
An illustration is an enlargement, and interpretation of the text, so that the reader will comprehend the words better. As an artist, you are always serving the words.
You must never illustrate exactly what is written. You must find a space in the text so that the pictures can do the work. Then you must let the words take over where words do it best. It's a funny kind of juggling act. ~ Maurice Sendak
Funny Leadership quotes by Maurice Sendak
I'm more concerned about who you're becoming than what you're doing. ~ John Ortberg
Funny Leadership quotes by John Ortberg
The challenge therefore, as you strive for success, is to make it a habit to live your life on purpose. You must learn to make deliberate plans and then practice the art and science of doing things on purpose. ~ Archibald Marwizi
Funny Leadership quotes by Archibald Marwizi
Agreed," I say. "It's going to be a long hour."
"Maybe not that long," says Peeta." what was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me ... no competition ... best thing that ever happened to you ... "
" I don't remember that last part," I say, hoping it's too dim in here for the cameras to pick up my blush.
" Oh, that's right. That's what I was thinking," he says " Scoot over, I'm freezing. ~ Suzanne Collins
Funny Leadership quotes by Suzanne Collins
Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
Funny Leadership quotes by Franklin D. Roosevelt
There's a dead guy on our floor," Tom pointed out.

"Yeah, that's Beamer, our neighbor." Vik stepped over Tom's bed, and kicked open a drawer beneath the mattress. He swept down and yanked out a bundle of fabric. "Here's your uniform."

"There's a dead Beamer on our floor," Tom said again. ~ S.J. Kincaid
Funny Leadership quotes by S.J. Kincaid
I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's nothing that she does that isn't funny. That show is an example of how brilliant she is. It's so smart. They've done some brilliant commentary about the 'Housewives' with 'Queen of Jordan,' their show-within-the-show. ~ Andy Cohen
Funny Leadership quotes by Andy Cohen
Creating a company culture is the first operational step in becoming a bold, brave fempreneur. It creates certainty, a road map and stability. ~ Amber Hurdle
Funny Leadership quotes by Amber Hurdle
Bricks are independent but can work well with other, tough to crack, fiercely loyal and put in the right spot will hold anything and everything that you've ever held dear with the greatest of ease. ~ Nicole McKay
Funny Leadership quotes by Nicole McKay
If I asked you to do something for me, I don't suppose you'd listen?" When he had my attention, he continued, "I'm going to take you home. Try to forget tonight happened. Try to act normal, especially around Hank. Don't mention my name."
By way of an answer, I shot him a black look and swung out of the Tahoe. He followed suit, coming around to my side.
"What kind of answer is that?" He asked, but his voice wasn't nearly so gruff. ~ Becca Fitzpatrick
Funny Leadership quotes by Becca Fitzpatrick
When it comes to identifying a real leader, that task can be much easier. Don't listen to the claims of the person professing to be the leader. Don't examine his credentials. Don't check his title. Check his influence. The proof of leadership is found in the followers.
I ~ John C. Maxwell
Funny Leadership quotes by John C. Maxwell
Just because you "liked" my picture, doesn't mean you shouldn't call me and ask me how I'm doing. You know what's funny? If you ever owe someone a call, and it's something you're trying to avoid, notice how many times they "like" your photos until you call them back. It's an alarm, and people abuse that. They know you can see that. They know you'll see their name. ~ Derek Waters
Funny Leadership quotes by Derek Waters
Without friends the world is but a wilderness. ~ Francis Bacon
Funny Leadership quotes by Francis Bacon
The king should be the servant of his people, and seek to uplift them and their lives. ~ Aleksandra Layland
Funny Leadership quotes by Aleksandra Layland
If you get a good comedy once a year, man, that's pretty good. I may be pickier than some, but still, there aren't that many movies that are really, truly, honestly that funny. ~ Michael Keaton
Funny Leadership quotes by Michael Keaton
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove." ~ Tommy Cooper
Funny Leadership quotes by Tommy Cooper
The economy is very different in the world that we're living in. And I think Americans are looking for executive leadership that actually has some experience of creating jobs. ~ Rick Perry
Funny Leadership quotes by Rick Perry
You can play in shallow waters, but it is in the deep end where one earns his strength. ~ Matshona Dhliwayo
Funny Leadership quotes by Matshona Dhliwayo
The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes. ~ William Feather
Funny Leadership quotes by William Feather
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