Epic Fail Quotes

The antihistamines she took failed her. Her nose twitched. She sniffed. It tickled more. She tried to hold it in. Tried to - Epic fail. Achoo! It came out of nowhere, a massive sneeze that rocked her whole body. Whilst in its grip, her finger tightened on the trigger of the gun and caused a second explosion, not of the nasal variety. Bang! Oh dear. ~ Eve Langlais

Does it hurt?"
He bent his head and lightly kissed her forehead. "Only when I laugh."
"I'll try not to be funny."
"Epic fail, beautiful. ~ Rachel Caine

Taking deep breaths, I gathered my power until I could feel it crackling in my fingertips. "Let him go!" I commanded in what I hoped was my most "I am a powerful demon" voice. Probably would've been better if my voice hadn't cracked on the last word. I released the magic in my hands, which felt kind of like snapping a giant rubber band.
A bolt of power flew from my fingertips, crashing into a nearby tree with a thunderous crack. There was a bright flash like lightning, and a branch fell to the ground. The ghouls startled, which meant the one holding Archer jerked his head back even farther. The smallest one made a noise that might have been distress, but they certainly didn't seem under my control.
And they weren't letting Archer go.
Okay, so my first experiment with necromancy was an epic fail.Take two.
I fought panic and frustration. Shooting off my magic at the ghouls was no good, but what else was I supposed to try? "Think,Sophie," I muttered under my breath.
"Yeah,please do that," Archer replied, his voice slightly strangled. The ghoul holding him had wrapped a hand around Archer's throat. The thing's expression wasn't threatening, just curious, like he was little kid trying to see what would happen if he just kept squeezing.
I slammed my eyes shut. Okay, they were dead. Yucky dead things. That smelled like-okay, those thoughts were not helpful. ~ Rachel Hawkins

Ollie-O was in a semicatatonic state, uttering nonsensical phrases like "This is not biodegradable - the downstream implications are enormous - the optics make for rough sledding - going forward -" before getting stuck on the words "epic fail," which he kept repeating. ~ Maria Semple

I want a tutor," Layla said. "It would make doing homework so much easier."
"Me too," said Kaitlyn. "If Layla gets one, I get one."
"No daughter of mine will ever have a tutor," Dad said.
"What if we're failing a course?" asked Layla.
His graying eyebrows drew together. "If you fail a single course, young lady, we will pull you out of school and get you a job scrubbing toilets for the rest of your life. ~ Claire LaZebnik

I feel like an epic fail right now. Like I'm the captain of my own personal failboat. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

I love that Sauron was too stupid to have a dragon or something guard mt doom. Epic fail, huh.... ~ Aaron Dennis

He can't ground her if he's already killed her," I pointed out when Juliana quoted this to me. "Well, he can, but it wouldn't have the same impact. ~ Claire LaZebnik

Whoa. Not too stiff," Cody said. "Secure, strong, but calm. Like you're caressing a beautiful woman, remember?"
That made me think of Megan.
I lost control, and a green wave of smoky energy burst from my hand and flew out in front of me. It missed the pipe completely, but vaporized the metal leg of the chair it sat on. Dust showered down and the chair went lopsided, dumping the pipe to the floor with a clang.
"Sparks," Cody said. "Remind me to never let you caress me, lad. ~ Brandon Sanderson

The culture of the Epic Fail, in its rituals of comic sacrifice, is a culture of sublimated predation. ~ Mark O'Connell

F. An F? She gulped air. An F! Failure. Failurino. Failurocity. Failtacular. Failpendous. Epic ... fail. ~ Olivia Cunning

A simple right or left can mean life or death,
Epic fail or nice success,
Days of pleasure or nights of stress. ~ Ka

The parents are the worst! They completely lose their minds, like academic bridezillas, focused on getting their precious mini-me into college and never for a minute thinking about what happens when the poor bastards actually get there, not to mention when they get out! God forbid they learn to fend for themselves or trust their own judgment or fail and struggle and succeed on their own terms. No! Everything has to be smoothed out and landscaped for Tiffany and Kody and Jasmine and Joshua, and if regular people get run over in the process, then that's how the cookie crumbles! ~ Abbi Waxman

We're all watching him. It's the one thing we can really do, and it is not for nothing: if he were to falter, fail, or die, what would become of us? No wonder he's like a boot, hard on the outside, giving shape to a pulp of tenderfoot. That's just a wish. I've been watching him for some time and he's given no evidence, of softness.
But watch out, Commander, I tell him in my head. I've got my eye on you. One false move and I'm dead.
Still, it must be hell, to be a man, like that.
It must be just fine.
It must be hell.
It must be very silent. ~ Margaret Atwood

THE LONGEST RIDE is epic Sparks ... [It] showcases the author's most accomplished work to date ... There are moments of perfection. - Mountain Times (NC) ~ Nicholas Sparks

Think of writing on a consistent basis as something that you get a pass/fail grade on. ~ Monica Leonelle

Yea, my friends, we have a king, whose name is Simurg, and whose residence is behind Mount Caucasus. He is close by, but we are far away from Him. The road to His throne is bestrewn with obstructions; more than a hundred thousand veils of light and darkness screen the throne. Hundreds of thousands of souls burn with an ardent passion to see Him, but no one is able to find his way to Him. Yet none can afford to do without Him. Supreme manliness, absolute fearlessness and complete self-effacement are needed to overcome those obstacles. If we succeed in getting a glimpse of His face, it will be an achievement indeed. If we do not attempt it, and if we fail to greet the Beloved, this life is not worth living." The ~ Farid Al-Din Attar

She'd never in her life looked at a man and felt like a starving beggar standing before a sumptuous feast. She'd all but licked her lips at the sight of him. ~ C.L. Wilson

In the United States especially, politics and economics don't mix well. Politicians have all sorts of reasons to pass all sorts of laws that, as well-meaning as they may be, fail to account for the way real people respond to real-world incentives. ~ Steven D. Levitt

The vicious cycle starts: if you fail at something, you think it is your fault. Therefore you think you can't do that task. As a result, next time you have to do the task, you believe you can't, so you don't even try. The result is that you can't, just as you thought. ~ Donald A. Norman

Evil prevails when good men fail to act. ~ Edmund Burke

Their time of talking and belittling us this way has expired. They tried, but they failed to realize we are strong and we will never give up.
Their time of thinking they can touch us inappropriately and we will keep quiet has expired. No! We will rise up and bring the world to its feet. Trust me… We will be seen and heard!
Their time of trying to break us down has expired. No! We can move mountains!
Their time of pointing their fingers at us and putting F.E.A.R (False Evidence Appearing Real) into our minds by making us believe it is our fault has expired. No! It is not our fault. It never was!
Their time of nasty insults has expired. They fail to realize we catch every nasty word and throw back the insult to show we can give as good as we get.
Their time of preying off vulnerable women who have to "make a deal" to get a higher position they earned has expired. No! Your "man"ipulation has no effect. We, as women, have full ownership of our minds, bodies, and souls. ~ Charlena E. Jackson

Never assume that the person you are dealing with is weaker or less important than you are. Some people are slow to take offense, which may make you misjudge the thickness of their skin, and fail to worry about insulting them. But should you offend their honor and their pride, they will overwhelm you with a violence that seems sudden and extreme given their slowness to anger. If you want to turn people down, it is best to do so politely and respectfully, even if you feel their request is impudent or their offer ridiculous. ~ Robert Greene

When you fail, you can resist correction or cooperate in your recovery and future success. ~ David P. Ingerson

That's the whole key to anything: Don't be afraid to fail. And Bernie Mac is not afraid to fail. ~ Bernie Mac

Working 24 hours a day isn't enough anymore. You have to be willing to sacrifice everything to be successful, including your personal life, your family life, maybe more. If people think it's any less, they're wrong, and they will fail. ~ Kevin O'Leary

History conditioned you for epic-scale calamity. Once, when she was studying the death tolls of battles in World War I, she'd caught herself thinking, Only eight thousand men died here. Well, that's not many. Because next to, say, the million who died at the Somme, it wasn't. The stupendous numbers deadened you to the merely tragic, and history didn't average in the tame days for balance. On this day, no one in the world was murdered. A lion gave birth. Ladybugs launched on aphids. A girl in love daydreamed all morning, neglecting her chores, and wasn't even scolded. ~ Laini Taylor

Beauty to beguile, spies to ensnare, and gold, always gold, to tempt, to trap, to control. ~ Karen Azinger

I find increasingly that the more extreme are the things going on in your life, the more cultural reference points fail you. More mythical reference points actually help, and you realise that's what myths are for. It's for human beings to process their experience in extremis. ~ Michael Sheen

Only aim to do your duty, and mankind will give you credit where you fail. ~ Thomas Jefferson

The thing about being a writer is that you never have to ask, 'Am I doing something that's worthwhile?' Because even if you fail at it, you know that it's worth doing. ~ Richard Ford

Whatever the clouds plan to do; I always trust in the sun which never fails to come out ~ Munia Khan

Better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre. ~ Randy Pausch

What we want in students is creativity and a willingness to fail. I always say to students, 'If you've never at some point stayed up all night talking to your new boyfriend about the meaning of life instead of preparing for the test, then you're not really an intellectual.' ~ Alison Gopnik

When you're unhinged, things make their way out of you that should be kept inside, and other things get in that ought to be shut out. The locks lose their powers. The guards go to sleep. The passwords fail. ~ Margaret Atwood

Cowards shrink from toil and peril, Vulgar souls attempt and fail; Men of mettle, nothing daunted, Persevere till they prevail. ~ Dean Koontz

The alienation effect in German epic theater is achieved not only through the actors, but also through music (chorus and song) andsets (transparencies, film strips, etc.). Its main purpose is to place the staged events in their historical context. ~ Bertolt Brecht

I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry. ~ Adrian Edmondson

Music frees my soul, under its spell I heal and sorrow continues to fail at keeping me enraged, caged as if a circus animal. Armed with it, ready and willing I sit to crush the horns of Baphomet. ~ The Raveness

Bible debunkers and Bible defenders are kindred spirits. They agree that the Bible is on trial. They agree on the terms of the debate, and what's at stake, namely its credibility as God's infallible book. They agree that Christianity stands or falls, triumphs or fails, depending on whether the Bible is found to be inconsistent, to contradict itself. The question for both sides is whether it fails to answer questions, from the most trivial to the ultimate, consistently and reliably. But you can't fail at something you're not trying to do. To ask whether the Bible fails to give consistent answers or be of one voice with itself presumes that it was built to do so. That's a false presumption, rooted no doubt in thinking of it as the book that God wrote. As we have seen, biblical literature is constantly interpreting, interrogating, and disagreeing with itself. Virtually nothing is asserted someplace that is not called into question or undermined elsewhere. ~ Timothy Beal

I always speak the truth. Not the whole truth, because there's no way, to say it all. Saying it all is literally impossible: words fail. Yet it's through this very impossibility that the truth holds onto the real. ~ Jacques Lacan

When you try to do something big its hard to fail completely. ~ Timothy Ferriss

They say love is eternal...They say love is enduring. It always protects,always trust,always hopes,always perseveres.Love never fails...It is one of my favorite passages in the bible...There is a quality about that kind of love that transcends our mortal understanding. ~ K.J. Kilton

We're doomed to be do-gooders for the rest of our lives and doomed to fail. But, happily, truth is a relative business. ~ Jo Nesbo

No one who's lived and known reflection
Could help but scorn the human host.
No one who's sampled life's complexion
Could fail to fear his dead past's ghost. ~ Alexander Pushkin

Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail, and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but refuse. They cling to the realm, or love, or the gods ... illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is. But they'll never know this. Not until it's too late. ~ George R R Martin

I think Christians fail so often to get answers to their prayers because they do not wait long enough on God. They just drop down and say a few words, and then jump up and forget it and expect God to answer them. Such praying always reminds me of the small boy ringing his neighbor's door-bell, and then running away as fast as he can go. ~ Edward McKendree Bounds

Why do some products, ideas, and behaviors succeed when others fail? ~ Jonah Berger

If we fail to act, we will end up with a different planet. ~ James Hansen

I'd much rather fail than do something like 'The Chorus Line' movie, sanitized and Hollywoodized. ~ Rob Marshall

The earth's distances invite the eye. And as the eye reaches, so must the mind stretch to meet these new horizons. I challenge anyone to stand with autumn on a hilltop and fail to see a new expanse not only around him, but in him, too. ~ Hal Borland

My whole life everyone always said 'it can't be done', 'you'll never do it', 'you will fail', 'no one has ever gone from Austria and become a Mr Universe, blah, blah, blah', or when I ran for governor people were sceptical. It was 'you're going to lose' and 'people don't take people from show-business seriously in politics'. So, I've heard all the 'it's impossible' thing but I didn't pay any attention because I believed that I could do it. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

It is not what is happening to you but rather what is happening in you that determines whether you succeed or fail. ~ Ervin Seale