Bernie Mac Quotes

It's a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.

When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.

America ... Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch ... My James Brown.

I've introduced myself with comedy, and once you've introduced yourself as something, that's where people keep you. That's where people like to hold you.

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Fear is not one of my attributes.

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world.

I want to have fun. Life ain't no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I'm a comedian; I ain't no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying?

I know doing movies is where I need to be. That's where my audience wants to see me.

Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.

I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.

You can't be a doctor if you don't know the entire parts of the body.

My daughter was a beautiful child.

Bernie Mac is talented!

I think a lot of TV insults the audience.

Comedy has been so good to me.

I want to do something that people can really say, 'Hey, man, that was good, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of that.' 'Pride' and 'Transformers' and things like that.

I was a street performer for two years.

Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.

The Bernie Mac Show' is my life. It's the truth, and I'm not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.

My name is Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, but people know me as Bernie Mac. My mama, God rest her soul - she used to call me Beanie. Used to say, 'Don't you worry about Beanie. Beanie gonna be just fine. Beanie gonna surprise everyone.'

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.

I'm an entertainer and I really enjoy entertaining. I think if you're going to really be what you say you are, you have to really live it, work it, practice it, and think it.

I'm so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

The two sides of Bernie - that's a quiet weapon that I have.

My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.

I don't think the people wanna see me play Clyde Johnson the architect.

Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life's way of preparing you for success.

Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.

You don't see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can't play the game. I can't - my tolerance - I know I'm getting old; I'll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I'm getting old? 'Cause my tolerance level is low.

I'm a big fan of TV.

You're never going to see me playing a buffoon.

When I started in the clubs, I had to work places where didn't nobody else want to work. I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

I wasn't disciplined at all. As good of an athlete as I was, I was not disciplined. Had I had the drive that I have in comedy, and acting, and writing, that's why I knew it just wasn't right for me.

I ain't scared of you motherfuckers!

I love who I am. I love what I've become.

They say if you don't have your health you ain't got nothing, but the truth is you ain't got nothing if you don't have no one to worry about your health.

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

I've never been no superficial cat.

The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.

Bernie Mac is happy.

There's no success story. Everybody's got a ghetto story. You always want to make it bigger than what it is.

I don't ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets - but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.

I love my daughter, but there's a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?

That's the whole key to anything: Don't be afraid to fail. And Bernie Mac is not afraid to fail.

My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.

Hugs aren't like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.

I can act. I've been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don't nobody owe you nothing. You've go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don't go from M to Z.

I'm not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that's what makes my comedy different.

Like a lot of black people, I grew up straight po'. Wasn't no question about whether we was po', either. If you really wanted to know, all you had to do was look in our refrigerator.

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.

I don't need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don't need any of that.

Bernie Mac is relentless. That's one thing I like about him. He's not PC. He doesn't care what you think. He's going out there to please that audience.

Every time you see a black romance, it's over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.

I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller.

You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.

It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, 'Why am I so black?' And she said, 'Because I'm black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.'

Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.

I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

I'm very much disciplined because I'm more mature. When I was young I just wanted to live, I could jump, I could run, I was quick and I was relentless.

Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat.

I ain't running for office. I ain't running for nothing.

My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.