David Eddings Quotes

Well, it's nice to know that the Trolls made it this far south,' Ulath said. 'I'd hate to have to go looking for them.'
'Their Gods were guiding them, Ulath,' Tynian pointed out.
'You've never talked with the Troll-Gods, I see,' Ulath laughed. 'Their sense of direction is a little vague - probably because their compass only has two directions on it.'
'Oh?'
'North and not-north. It makes finding places a little difficult. ~ David Eddings

Could you penetrate this palace, Prince Kheldar?" King Anheg challenged.
"I already have, your Majesty," Silk said modestly, "a dozen times or more."
Anheg looked at Rhodar with one raised eyebrow.
Rhodar coughed slightly. "It was some time ago, Anheg. Nothing serious. I was just curious about something, that's all."
"All you had to do was ask," Anheg said in a slightly injured tone.
"I didn't want to bother you," Rhodar said with a shrug. "Besides, it's more fun to do it the other way. ~ David Eddings

Dost thou question my word, Sir Knight?" Madorallen returned in an ominously quiet voice. "And wilt thou then come down and put thy doubt to the test? Or is it perhaps that thou wouldst prefer to cringe doglike behind thy parapet and yap at thy betters?"
"Oh, that was very good," Barak said admiringly. ~ David Eddings

Raphael watched, and gradually he began to understand them. At first it was not even a theory, but rather a kind of intuition. He found that he could look at any one of them and almost smell the impending crisis. That was the key word - crisis. At first it seemed too dramatic a term to apply to situations resulting from their bumbling mismanagement of their lives or deliberate wrongheaded stupidity, but they themselves reacted as if these situations were in fact crises. ~ David Eddings

A day in which you learn something isn't a complete loss. ~ David Eddings

Have you ever noticed that? We base our assessment of the intelligence of others almost entirely on how closely their thinking matches our own. I'm sure that there are people out there who violently disagree with me on most things, and I'm broad-minded enough to conceded that they might possibly not be completely idiots, but I much prefer the company of people who agree with me.
You might want to think about that. ~ David Eddings

For what place can be left for anything to happen at random so long as God controls everything in order? It is a true saying that nothing can come out of nothing. ~ David Eddings

You're impossible," she told him.
"Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. ~ David Eddings

As they prepared to mount, Barak's horse, a large, sturdy gray, sighed and threw a reproachful look at Hettar, and the Algar chuckled.
'What's so funny?' Barak demanded suspiciously.
'The horse said something,' Hettar replied. 'Never mind. ~ David Eddings

I want to set the record straight."
"The record's never straight, you idiot! Haven't you ever read 1984? They rewrite the record anytime it doesn't suit them. You're spinning your wheels and exposing your bare fanny for nothing. ~ David Eddings

The unfortunate thing about working for yourself is that you have the worst boss in the world. I work every day of the year except at Christmas, when I work a half day. ~ David Eddings

I taught in a small teacher's college for three or four years, at which point all the administrators got a pay raise and the teaching faculty didn't. ~ David Eddings

Water....I'm thirsty not dirty. ~ David Eddings

Mimbrates are the bravest people in the world
probably because they don't have brains enough to be afraid of anything. Garion's friend Mandorallen is totally convinced that he's invincible."
"He is," Ce'Nedra said in automatic defense of her knight. "I saw him kill a lion once with his bare hands."
" ... I heard him suggest to Barak and Hettar once that the three of them attack an entire Tolnedran legion."
"Perhaps he was joking."
"Mimbrate knights don't know how to joke," Silk told him.
"I will not sit here and listen to you people insult my knight," Ce'Nedra said hotly.
"We'renot insulting hi, Ce'Nedra," Silk told her. "We're describing him. He's so noble he makes my hair hurt."
"Nobility is an alien concept to a Drasnian, I suppose," she noted.
"Not alien, Ce'Nedra. Incomprehensible. ~ David Eddings

Heroes aren't allowed to be nervous."
"Who made up that rule?"
"It's a known fact ... ~ David Eddings

Love, My Goddess loves us all, and she gave up Bhelliom willingly out of that love. Bhelliom can't begin to understand love. In the end that may be our only defense against it. ~ David Eddings

We call this a "bow", Cap'n, and the thing that's sticking out of that fellow's head over on the other side of the trench is called an "arrow". If you put them together just right, they'll do all sorts of nice things to people who aren't nice. ~ David Eddings

Keep working. Keep trying. Keep believing. You still might not make it, but at least you gave it your best shot. If you don't have calluses on your soul, this isn't for you. Take up knitting instead. ~ David Eddings

This is terrible, when a writer is bored by his own work, but it was a real bomb and had reached the point where I couldn't even stand to look at it any more. ~ David Eddings

We're living in momentous times, Garion. The events of a thousand years and more have all focused on these very days. The world, I'm told, is like that. Centuries pass when nothing happens, and then in a few short years events of such tremendous importance take place that the world is never the same again."
I think that if I had my choice, I'd prefer one of those quiet centuries," Garion said glumly.
Oh, no," Silk said, his lips drawing back in a ferretlike grin. "Now's the time to be alive - to see it all happen, to be a part of it. That makes the blood race, and each breath is an adventure. ~ David Eddings

All I knew was that I would die if he sent me away. He shrugged. You can cut a man's heart out with a shrug, did you know that? ~ David Eddings

Contemporary fantasists all bow politely to Lord Tennyson and Papa Tolkien, then step around them to go back to the original texts for inspiration
and there are a lot of those texts. We have King Arthur and his gang in English; we've got Siegfried and Brunhild in German; Charlemagne and Roland in French; El Cid in Spanish; Sigurd the Volsung in Icelandic; and assorted 'myghtiest Knights on lyfe' in a half-dozen other cultures. Without shame, we pillage medieval romance for all we're worth. ~ David Eddings

Love can show itself in many strange ways, ~ David Eddings

Is it my birthday again? Already? Where does the time go?"
"Behind us
or in front. It depends on which way you are looking. ~ David Eddings

Now do you see why war irritates me? It's always the same. A lot of people get killed, but in the end, the whole thing is settled at the conference table. The notion of having the conference first doesn't seem to occur to people. ~ David Eddings

When my sons told me about what they'd found, I went to the priests of Belar and had them examine the auguries. This is the year to go. The ice up there won't be as thick again for years and years. Then they cast my own auguries, and from what they say, this could be the most fortunate year in my whole life."
"Do you actually believe that superstitious nonsense?" I demanded. "Are you so gullible that you think that somebody can foretell the future by fondling a pile of sheep guts?"
He looked a little injured. "This was important, Belgarath. I certainly wouldn't trust sheep's entrails for something like this."
"I'm glad to hear that."
"We used a horse instead. Horse guts never lie. ~ David Eddings

I've seen hopeless wars won before. If you give in to despair before you begin, you'll have no chance at all. ~ David Eddings

Now what?" Urgit warily asked his bride-to-be.
"Am I disturbing your Majesty?" Prala asked.
" ... You always disturb me, my beloved," he answered her question, spreading his arms extravagantly. ~ David Eddings

It's common knowledge that the "church" is nothing more than an invention of the priesthood designed to swindle the ordinary people of the empire out of just about everything they own. ~ David Eddings

Young lady," Silk said urbanely, "I think you'd be amazed at how little Polgara's concerned about who you are."
"Polgara?" Ce'Nedra faltered. "The Polgara? I thought you said that she was your sister."
"I lied," Silk confessed. "It's a vice a have. ~ David Eddings

Why are the people all so unhappy?" he asked Mister Wolf. "They have a stern and demanding God," Wolf replied. "Which God is that?" Garion asked. "Money," Wolf said. ~ David Eddings

The dullest man in the world is charming beyond belief when he's pouring gold coins from one hand to the other. ~ David Eddings

Your extensive travels must have been fatiguing," Zakath said in that same flat tone, "particularly for the ladies. I'll see to it that your return journey to Mal Zeth is made in easy stages."
"Your Majesty is very kind, but we're not going back to Mal Zeth."
"You're wrong, Belgarion. You are going back to Mal Zeth."
"Sorry, I've got a pressing engagement elsewhere."
"I'll convey your regrets to Zandramas when I see her."
"I'm sure she'd be overjoyed to hear that I'm not coming."
"Not for very long, she won't. I fully intent to have her burned as a witch."
"Good luck, your Majesty, but I don't think you'll find that she's very combustible. ~ David Eddings

Anyway, Arianna and I left the castle very late one evening. I knew the knight on guard at the drawbridge so I hit hit him over the head because I didn't want to hurt him.
Garion blinked.
"I knew he'd be honor-bound to try to stop us," Lelldorin explained. "I didn't want to have to kill him, so I hit him over the head."
"I suppose that makes sense," Garion said dubiously.
"Arianna's almost positive he won't die."
"DIE?"
"I hit him just a little too hard, I think. ~ David Eddings

What happened to your foot?"
"I had a little disagreement with an eagle
stupid birds, eagles. He couldn't tell the difference between a hawk and a pigeon. I had to educate him. He bit me while I was tearing out a sizable number of his wing feathers."
"Uncle," Polgara said reproachfully.
"He started it. ~ David Eddings

Your
ah
intervention, shall we say, has simplified things in the palace enormously. We no longer have to worry about Salmissra's whims and peculiar appetites. We rule by committee, and we hardly ever find it necessary to poison each other anymore. No one's tried to poison me for months. ~ David Eddings

It's only a story, isn't it?" ...
"Who's to say what's only a story and what's truth disguised as a story? ~ David Eddings

Priests are pretty much the same the world over. They seem to feel that their exclusive contact with God gives them a certain job security. ~ David Eddings

Listen to the way people talk. If your characters sound real the rest is easy. ~ David Eddings

But there's a world beyond what we can see and touch, and that world lives by its own laws. What may be impossible in this very ordinary world is very possible there, and sometimes the boundaries between the two worlds disappear, and then who can say what is possible and impossible? ~ David Eddings

Degrur, that doesn't make any sense at all." "I just woke up, ~ David Eddings

When you get down to the bottom of it, only about half of what we remember really happened. We tend to modify things to make ourselves look better in our own eyes and in the eyes of others. Then, if what we did wasn't really very admirable, we tend to forget that it ever happened. A normal human being's grasp on reality is very tenuous at best. Our imaginary lives are usually much nicer. ~ David Eddings

The Orb is not of itself evil. Evil is a thing that lies only in the hearts and minds of men
and of Gods, also.
Aldur ~ David Eddings

The real world out there isn't nearly as nice as some people prefer it to be, so don't swallow everything your high-born teachers tell you without takinga long hard look at it yourselves. ~ David Eddings

The first thing the boy Garion remembered was the kitchen at Faldor's farm. For all the rest of his life he had a special warm feeling for kitchens and those peculiar sounds and smells that seemed somehow to combine into a bustling seriousness that had to do with love and food and comfort and security and, above all, home. No matter how high Garion rose in life, he never forgot that all his memories began in that kitchen. ~ David Eddings

Garion,' she said very calmly, 'the universe knew your name before that moon up there was spun out of the emptiness. Whole constellations have been waiting for you since the beginning of time.'
I didn't want them to, Aunt Pol.'
There are those of us who aren't given that option, Garion. There are things that gave to be done and certain people who have to do them. It's as simple as that.'
He smiled rather sadly at her flawless face and gently touched the snowy white lock at her brow. Then, for the last time in his life, he asked the question that had been on his lips since he was a tiny boy. 'Why me, Aunt Pol? Why me?'
Can you possibly think of anyone else you'd trust to deal with these matters, Garion?'
He had not really been prepared for that question. It came at him in stark simplicity. Now at last he fully understood. 'No,' he sighed, 'I suppose not. Somehow it seems a little unfair, though. I wasn't even consulted.'
Neither was I, Garion,' she answered. 'But we didn't have to be consulted, did we? The knowledge of what we have to do is born into us. ~ David Eddings

I thought you said you were the one in charge!" Ce'Nedra exclaimed.
I lied." Silk said. "It's a vice I have. ~ David Eddings

Reed College required a thesis for a Bachelor's degree. Normally a Bachelor's is sort of like being stamped 'Prime US Beef.' They just walk you through, hand out the diplomas and you fill in your name later on. ~ David Eddings

Small female children. They're devious, but they're prettier than sons, and they smell better. (The Spirit of the Prophecy to Garion) ~ David Eddings

Some day, Prince Kheldar, you will fall in love," the queen said with a little smirk, "and the twelve kingdoms will stand around and chortle over the fall of so notorious a bachelor. ~ David Eddings

Beldin sighed. "Since you're going to be such a spoilsport for this, Pol, I found a
group of sheephenders below the snow line."
"Shepherds, uncle," she corrected.
"It means the same thing. If you really look at it, it's even the same word,"
"Shepherd sounds nicer."
"Nicer." He snorted. "Sheep are stupid, they smell bad, and they taste worse.
Anybody who spends his life tending them is either defective or degenerate. ~ David Eddings

Vanity's ridiculous, be we all fall prey to it from time to time. ~ David Eddings

Zedar was gone ... As an owl, though, I was able to drift silently from tree to tree until I caught up with him ... He wasn't really hard to follow, since he'd conjured up a dim, greenish light to see by
and to hold off the boogiemen. Did I ever tell you that Zedar's afraid of the dark? That adds another dimension to his present situation, doesn't it?
He was bundled to the ears in furs, and he was muttering to himself as he floundered along through the snow. Zedar talks to himself a lot. He always has.
... I drifted to a nearby tree and watched him
owlishly.
Sorry. I couldn't resist that. ~ David Eddings

If you're going to maintain any kind of self-respect, you're going to have to keep secrets from yourself. ~ David Eddings

I thought the trees down in Lady Zelana's country were about as big as a tree could get," he said, "but the ones around here are so tall that they probably tickle the moon's tummy when she goes by. ~ David Eddings

Life's much more pleasing when you don't have to spend all of your time thinking. ~ David Eddings

Oh, well," Silk said wryly, "we might as well get it out into the open, I suppose. Gentlemen," he said, "I'm sure you all remember the Margravine Liselle, my fiancee."
"Your fiancee?" Barak exclaimed in amazement.
"We all have to settle down sometime." Silk shrugged.
They all gathered around to congratulate him. Velvet, however, did not look pleased.
"Was something the matter, dear?" Silk asked her, all innocence.
"Don't you think you've forgotten something, Kheldar?" she asked acidly.
"Not that I recall."
"You neglected to ask me about this first."
"Really? Did I actually forget that? You weren't planning to refuse, were you?"
"Of course not."
"Well, then
"
"You haven't heard the last of this, Kheldar," she said ominously.
"I seem to be getting off to a bad start here," he observed.
"Very bad," she agreed. ~ David Eddings

I'd really like to go with you, Agachak. Truly I would ... but I just can't."
"I don't understand. Why not?"
"I'm not allowed to leave home. My mother'd punish me something awful if I did ... "
"But you're the king."
"That doesn't change a thing. I still do what mother says. She tells everybody that I'm the best boy ever when it comes to that."
Agachak resisted a powerful urge to change this half-wit into a toad or perhaps a jellyfish. ~ David Eddings

Refusing to talk about something wouldn't make it go away. If it was there, it was there, and no amount of verbal acrobatics could make it go away. ~ David Eddings

It's the nature of man to ask questions.
Belgarath ~ David Eddings

Sorgan tried his very best not to think about how long it must have taken for a stream that small to eat its way down through solid rock to form its current bed. Sorgan knew exactly what the word "hundred" meant, but when numbers wandered off toward "thousand" - or even "million" - and the people who used those terms were talking about years, Sorgan's mind shied back in horror. ~ David Eddings

I must admit that I haven't heard of the Duchess of Erat before."
"You're a fortunate man," Wolf said.
"She's a great beauty," the man said admiringly.
"And has a temper to match," Wolf told him.
"I noticed that," the guard said.
"We noticed you noticing," Silk told him slyly. ~ David Eddings

Young people, however, tend to ignore the customs of their elders. Adolescent rebellion has been responsible for all manner of absurd costumes. The more ridiculous a certain fashion is, the more adolescents will cling to it. ~ David Eddings

That's a strange hobby for a Church Knight."

"God hired me as a fighting man, Sparhawk, not as a monk. I fight whenever He tells me to, but the rest of my time is my own. ~ David Eddings

Some stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Other stories never end, maybe because they're alive. ~ David Eddings

As long as people are talking instead of fighting, nobody loses very much blood - unless he happens to bite his tongue. ~ David Eddings

The notion that any one person can describe 'what really happened' is an absurdity. If ten - or a hundred - people witness an event, there will be ten - or a hundred - different versions of what took place. What we see and how we interpret it depends entirely upon our individual past experience. ~ David Eddings

Whatever happened to him?" Silk asked.
"He went swimming in the Nedrane."
"I didn't know that Thulls swam all that well."
"They don't–particularly not with large rocks tied to their feet. ~ David Eddings

Little jobs require little men, and it's the little jobs that keep a kingdom running. ~ David Eddings

What was that?" Belgarath asked, coming back around the corner.
"Brill," Silk replied blandly, pulling his Murgo robe back on.
"Again?" Belgarath demanded with exasperation. "What was he doing this time?"
"Trying to fly, last time I saw him." Silk smirked.
The old man looked puzzled.
"He wasn't doing it very well," Silk added.
Belgarath shrugged. "Maybe it'll come to him in time."
"He doesn't really have all that much time." Silk glanced out over the edge.
"From far below - terribly far below - there came a faint, muffled crash; then, after several seconds, another. "Does bouncing count?" Silk asked.
Belgarath made a wry face. "Not really."
"Then I'd say he didn't learn in time." Silk said blithely. ~ David Eddings

Once you've decided that something's absolutely true, you've closed your mind on it, and a closed mind doesn't go anywhere. Question everything. That's what education's all about. ~ David Eddings

If you'd just try, I'm sure you'd be able to fly. ~ David Eddings

Only in the surrender of the light could the darkness prevail. ~ David Eddings

What am I going to do?" asked Ce'Nedra.
"First you ought to go wash your face," Polgara told her. "Some girls can cry without making themselves ugly, but you don't have the right coloring for it. You're an absolute fright. I'd advise you never to cry in public if you can help it. ~ David Eddings

It's different," Sorgan's younger cousin Torl declared, gesturing at the glorious sunset late that afternoon. "It's pretty enough, I suppose, but it's not too much like the sunsets out at sea. Mountains seem to do peculiar things to the sky."

"It's the clouds, Captain Torl," Keselo explained. "Most of the time, I'd imagine, the clouds out over the sea sort of plod along from here to there. When they come to mountains, though, they have to climb up one side and then slide down the other. That sort of scrambles them, so they're thicker in some places and thinner in others. That's why we see so many different shades of red in a mountain sunset. ~ David Eddings

Does bouncing count? -- Silk, The Belgariad ~ David Eddings

Do you ever plan to grow up, Veltan?" he asked.

"Not if I can avoid it, no. ~ David Eddings

Then you've learned something today. No day in which you learn something is a complete loss. ~ David Eddings

Belgarath turned back to Senji. "All right," he said. "The Sardion came to Zamad. How?"
"It's said to have fallen out of the sky."
"They always do," Beldin said. "Someday I'd like to see something rise up out of the earth –just for the sake of variety. ~ David Eddings

Nothing that ever happens is so unimportant that it doesn't change things. ~ David Eddings

When love is involved no sacrifice is too great. ~ David Eddings

Zakath's face grew thoughtful. "You know something, Garion?" he said. "Man thinks he owns the world, but we share it with all sorts of creatures who are indifferent to our overlordship. They have their own societies, and I supposed even their own cultures. They don't even pay attention to us, do you?"
"Only when we inconvenience them ... It teaches us humility," Garion agreed. ~ David Eddings

Everyone's lonely, dear," she explained, drawing him close to her. "We touch other people only briefly, then we're alone again. You'll get used to it in time. ~ David Eddings

The whole world is beautiful, Belgarion' Eriond assured him in response to that unspoken thought. 'You just have to know how to look at it ~ David Eddings

I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying.
- Prince Kheldar of Drasnia ~ David Eddings

Silk laughed. "You really should try not to let your knife do all your thinking for you. That's the one quality we find least attractive in our Cherek cousins."
"And we find this compulsion to make clever remarks which seems to overwhelm our Drasnian brothers now and then almost equally unattractive," Barak told him coolly. ~ David Eddings

Who owns a man, Durnik?" the blond young man asked sadly. "The one who rules him, or the one who pays him? ~ David Eddings

The one of us who lies the best will get the better of the bargain. It's a game. A very exciting game that's played all over the world. Good players got rich, and bad players don't. ~ David Eddings

A great blow it was,' he said in expensive tones, 'worthy of the mightiest warrior and truly struck upon the nose of the foe. The bright blood flew, and the enemy was dismayed and overcame. Like a hero, Garion stood over the vanquished, and, like a true hero, did not boast nor taunt his fallen opponent, but offered instead advice for quelling that crimson blood. with simple dignity then, he quit the field, but the bright-eyed maid would not let him depart unrewarded for his valor. hastily, she pursued him and fondly clasped her snowy arms about his neck. And there she lovingly bestowed that single kiss that is the true hero's greatest reward. Her eyes flamed with admiration, and her chaste bosom heaved with newly wakened passion. But modest Garion innocently departed and tarried not to claim those other sweet rewards the gentle maid's fond demeanor so clearly offered. And thus the adventure ended with our hero tasting victory but tenderly declining victory's true compensation. ~ David Eddings

I hesitate to predict whether this theory is true. But if the general opinion of Mankind is optimistic then we're in for a period of extreme popularity for science fiction. ~ David Eddings

He felt oddly powerless, as if his entire life were in the fingers of two faceless players maneuvering pieces in the same patterns on some vast board in a game that, for all he knew, had lasted for eternity. ~ David Eddings

It keeps him happy, Dahlaine, and happy people are nicer than gloomy ones. Haven't you noticed that before? ~ David Eddings

Its a perfectly good face, Sparhawk."
"It covers the front of my head. What else can you expect from a face? ~ David Eddings

There was a sudden, shocking sound that echoed through Garion's head like an explosion.
"What was that?" Zakath exclaimed.
"You heard it, too?" Garion was amazed. "You shouldn't have been able to hear it!"
"It shook the earth, Garion. Look there." Zakath pointed off toward the north where a huge pillar of fire was soaring up toward the murky, starless sky. "What is it?"
"Aunt Pol did something. She's never that clumsy ... "
Belgarath and Beldin were both pale and shaken, and even Durnik seemed awed.
"She hasn't done anything that noisy since she was about sixteen," Beldin said,m blinking in astonishment. He looked suspiciously at Durnik. "Have you gone and got her pregnant? ~ David Eddings

Nothing that's really worthwhile should be easy, Belgarion. If it's easy, we don't value it ...
Eriond ~ David Eddings

Make some light, dear."
Garion fumbled for one of the candles, bumped his sleeve against it, and then deftly caught it before it hit the floor.He was sort of proud of that.
"Don't play with it, Garion Just light it."
Her tone was so familiar and so commonplace that he began to laugh, and with the little surge of will that he directed at the candle was a stuttering sort of thing. The flame that appeared bobbled and hiccuped at the end of the wick in a soundless chortle.
Polgara looked steadily at the giggling candle, then closed her eyes, " oh, Garion," she sighed in resignation.
*
"Garion, why is that candle acting like that?"
"Don't worry about it, dear. ~ David Eddings

There's a peculiar dichotomy in the nature of almost anyone who calls himself a historian. Such scholars all piously assure us that they're telling us the real truth about what really happened, but if you turn any competent historian over and look at his damp underside, you'll find a storyteller, and you can believe me when I tell you that no storyteller's ever going to tell a story without a few embellishments. Add to that the fact that we've all got assorted political and theological preconceptions that are going to color what we write, and you'll begin to realize that no history of any event is entirely reliable ... ~ David Eddings

It's as empty as a merchant's soul. Sorry, Kheldar, it's just an old expression." "That's all right, Beldin," Silk forgave him grandly. "These little slips of the tongue are common in the very elderly. ~ David Eddings

And how long dost thou expect this dying of thine to persist?' The voice seemed only mildly curious.
'I don't know' I replied through a sudden wave of self pity. 'I've never done it before. ~ David Eddings

We are all children, Kheldar.
--Cyradis ~ David Eddings