Chloe And Derek Funny Quotes

Dad!" he shouted, loud enough to make my ears ring. "Dad! You need to get down here!" (Derek)
Chloe held open the door and whispered to me, "I could say he's not always like this, but I'd be lying. ~ Kelley Armstrong

I glanced in the first open door and stopped short. Desks. Four tiny desks. A wall of faded posters of alphabet animals. A blackboard, still showing the ghost of numbers. I blinked, certain I was seeing wrong.
Derek nudged my legs, telling me to get moving. I looked at him, and I looked at the classroom.
This was where Derek had grown up. Four tiny desks. Four little boys. Four young werewolves.
For a second, I could see them - three boys working at the three clustered desks, Derek alone at the fourth, pushed slightly away, hunched over his work, trying to ignore the others.
Derek nudged me again, whining softly, and I looked down to see him eyeing the room, every hair on his neck on end, anxious to get away from this place. ~ Kelley Armstrong

A soft poke at my shoulder blade startled me.
"Still jumpy, I see."
I spun to see Simon, Derek hanging back behind him.
Simon grinned, the sight as familiar as Derek's scowl. "Got my note, I hear," he said.
I pulled it out and waved it.
He plucked it from my fingers and tucked it into my jacket pocket. ~ Kelley Armstrong

And he says I have lousy timing ~ Kelley Armstrong

The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car. ~ Derek Landy

As Simon went to see if Andrew was up, I wandered into the kitchen, where Derek was eyeing a rusty can of beans.
"That hungry?" I said.
"I will be soon."
He prowled the kitchen, flipping open cupboards.
"So you don't want me asking Andrew about that kid?" I said. "You trust him, though, right?"
"Sure."
He took down a box of crackers and turned it over, looking for a 'best before' date.
***
"Is he drinking the ketchup yet?" Simon swung into the kitchen. "Ten minutes, bro. Andrew's on his way - ~ Kelley Armstrong

I'm going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour."
Finbar rolled his eyes. "And they'll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy about other people noticing them. ~ Derek Landy

Posting dramatic charts or funny pictures is good and giving people smart reasons to believe what they already think is great. ~ Derek Thompson

They're not going to arrest you,' Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. 'They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won't arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There's a good chance they will. But the important thing is that I've done nothing wrong.'
'For once. ~ Derek Landy

He had a newspaper rolled in his hand, bearing down on me like a puppy that had piddled on the carpet.
"Bad Chloe," I muttered.
"What?"
I'd forgotten his bionic hearing. "Bad Chloe." I gestured at the rolled-up paper and put
out my hand. "Get it over with. ~ Kelley Armstrong

"It's me," whispered a familiar voice.
"Der - "
Thwack. He stumbled, Liz behind him, a sturdy branch raised.
"Liz, it's - "
She hit him again, a home-run swing between the shoulders, and he went down with an oomph and an oath. She recognized the voice - or the curse - and leaned over, getting a look at him.
(Liz) "Whoops."
(Simon) "I'd say he deserved that, always sneaking up on people." ~ Kelley Armstrong

He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm. ~ Derek Landy

He blocked me. " What'd you do, Chloe?"
I sidestepped. He sidesteped.
"You like him, don't you?" he said.
"Yes, I like him. Just not..."
"Not what?"
"Talk to Simon. He's the one who thinks..."
"Thinks what?"
Step. Block.
"Thinks what?"
"That there's someone else," I blurted before I could stop myself. I took a deep, shuddering breath. "He thinks there's someone else."
"Who?"
I was going to say I don't know. Some guy from school, I guess. But Derek's expression already knew the answer. The look on his face...It'd been humiliating before, having Simon accuse me of liking Derek, but that was nothing compared to how I felt when I saw Derek's look. Not just surprise, but shock. Shock and horror.
"Me?" he said. "Simon said he thinks you and I are-"
"No, not that. He knows we aren't-"
"Good. So what does he think?"
"That I like you." Again, the words flew out before I could stop them. ~ Kelley Armstrong

Just because you "liked" my picture, doesn't mean you shouldn't call me and ask me how I'm doing. You know what's funny? If you ever owe someone a call, and it's something you're trying to avoid, notice how many times they "like" your photos until you call them back. It's an alarm, and people abuse that. They know you can see that. They know you'll see their name. ~ Derek Waters

If he can't get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?"
"With great care," Donegan suggested.
"How about we run off shout and they follow?" Said Gracious. "Then, just when they think they've caught us they fall into our trap."
"OK," said Tanith. "And that trap would be?"
"A big hole we'd dug earlier and covered with branches.'
Tanith frowned. "I thought you were meant to be smart."
Gracious frowned back at her. "Who told you that?"
"Gracious is book smart," said Donegan. "He leaves the real world thinking to people like you and me and small dogs that he meets."
"The innocent are often the wisest. ~ Derek Landy

What did you tell them?"
"I don't recall. I think I mentioned your discipline and ability to follow orders. I may have said something about you being a team player."
Derek emitted a strangled cough.
"Why?" I demanded.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Curran resumed hammering.
"I'm sorry," I said into the phone, sticking me finger into my other ear so I could hear. "His Majesty tends to exaggerate things. I'm not a team player. I'm undisciplined and I have a problem with authority. Also, the Beast Lord can't hammer for shit."
On the roof Derek was laughing his head off. ~ Ilona Andrews

There's a clock on the wall. Press your hand against the face and turn it very slightly to the. Left. There'll be a click to tell you it's done."
"Sounds easy enough."
"Yes it does," said Sanguine. "Kiss for good luck?"
"Maybe later," said Gracious.
"How about a handshake?" Asked Donegan. ~ Derek Landy

"I put you and Simon in danger just by..."
"By being here? And what's the alternative? Take off? Give up on finding your dad? Leave Simon behind?"
He blinked. "No, I wouldn't leave...but I feel like..."
"Feel like what?"
He shook his head, looking away. I walked around in front of him.
"Feel like what, Derek? Like you should leave? Like we'd be better off if you did?"
He rolled his shoulders in a half shrug, then looked away again. I was right. He just didn't like hearing the thought voiced; it sounded too close to self-pity.
"No one is better off if you leave," I said.
"Yeah." He mumbled the word, unconvinced.
"Simon needs you."
I need you. I didn't say that, of course. How could I, without it sounding weird.? But I felt it, heart hammering against my ribs, and it wasn't some romantic I can't bear to be without you nonsense. It was something deeper, more desperate.
When I thought of Derek leaving, the ground seemed to slide under my feet. I needed something to hold on to, something solid and real when everything around me was changing so fast. Even if there were times I thought it would be easier without Derek there, ready to tear a strip off me at my every misstep, in some ways I relied on that - someone to keep me thinking, keep me striving to do better, keep me from burying my head and praying it all worked out.
When he turned away, he must have seen it on my face. As fast as I tried to cover it up, i ~ Kelley Armstrong

"It's our three month anniversary."
Her eyes widened in panic. "Today? I thought ... I was counting three months from - "
"Doesn't matter." I paused. "Or I guess it does or we'll keep getting confused. Can we use today - three months back, I mean?"
She smiled. "We can ... if you don't mind getting your gift late."
"I don't care if I get one at all. Just as long as I keep getting anniversaries."
She blushed and lifted on her tiptoes to kiss me. "You will. For as long as you want them."
Which was pretty much the best present she could give me ~ Kelley Armstrong

This isn't funny. She was almost killed.'
'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.'
'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.'
'I just need a name. ~ Derek Landy

"Chloe isn't flirting with that guy," Simon said.
"Course not."
"I mean it. She's - "
I glanced back at him. "I'm not blind. She's only paying enough attention to him to be polite. He's the one flirting, which is bugging her and that's why I'm pissed off. She's trying to eat her fries and he's interrupting."
Simon chuckled. ~ Kelley Armstrong

Yeah, I worry what will happen when we stop running. When we go back to school. When she meets other boys. Boys who don't argue and snap at her. Boys who don't obsessively worry about her. Boys that could take her to a movie and stay right until the end, not have to leave halfway through because he started turning into a wolf. But she wouldn't pick up some random guy in the mall. Ever.
So why was I over-reacting? I don't know. I saw the guy and something ignited in my brain, a flash-fire that burned away reason and common sense. If Simon hadn't stopped me, I'd have made an idiot of myself and called attention to us. Worse, I'd have embarrassed Chloe. I was over-protective enough as it was. Frothing at the mouth because a guy talked to her? Really not going help us get to that next anniversary. ~ Kelley Armstrong

Of the Phoenix kids, the one Derek got along best with was Daniel. In him, Daniel had found a good sparring partner. And a plotting partner, too. Derek wasn't just the biggest and strongest in our group. He was also the smartest. Scary, off-the-charts smart. That intimidated Daniel a little at first - he's bright, but he needs to work for his grades. But Derek wasn't a show-off or a know-it-all, so they got past that and we would hang out together, the two guys, Chloe, and I planning and plotting our future, bouncing ideas off one another. ~ Kelley Armstrong

I walked over to the paper and bent as the pencil began scribbling across it.
You look OK. Are you OK?
"Liz?" A stupid question. Liz was the only poltergeist I knew. But if she was here, that meant. "Chloe?" My heart started thudding again. "Where's Chloe. Did they - ?"
She's outside.
I took a deep breath. "Good. Okay. My dad's there, too?"
I watched the paper. Nothing happened.
"Liz? My dad is with her, right? She called him, didn't she?"
Couldn't.
"What do you mean she couldn't. She has her cell - " No, she didn't. We hadn't taken them into the forest. If Chloe had managed to follow me straight from there ...
I swore. "Tell her to get to a pay phone. Call collect. Get my dad and - "
No time. They're packing the van.
"Then you ride with me. You can find out where we go, and return and Chloe - "
We're getting you out.
"What? No. Absolutely not. Tell Chloe - "
Girls rule :D ~ Kelley Armstrong

What are you doing?"
"I'm, uh, acting normal."
"No you're not. You're acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don't act like you're not pretending, that'll make it worse. ~ Derek Landy

I grew up on the beaches, and I always found it kind of funny that it's considered decent if you cover three tiny spots with pieces of fabric. ~ Bo Derek

He pivoted, gaze following me as I crossed to the shower and turned on the cold water, so it would drown out our conversation without steaming up the room.
Great," he muttered."Now they're going to think we're showering together. Maybe we can just tell them we were washing off the crawl space dirt and trying to conserve water. ~ Kelley Armstrong

He laughed and was about to retort when she grabbed his collar and pulled him into her. She clamped her lips around his mouth and mashed her face into his. He took a step back in surprise and she went with him, stepping in a patch of wet floor. Her legs went out from under her and flailed as she fell, whacking him in the throat on the way down. She looked up at him as he gagged and coughed, and from across the corridor she could hear Tanith laughing hysterically. "I think I need practice," Valkyrie muttered. ~ Derek Landy

Chloe had her knees pulled up, one arm wrapped around them. Her other hand was entwined with Derek's. He leaned back against the tree. Slumping, as if it was holding him up. His face glowed with sweat and his eyes were closed.
When I'd seen Derek in wolf form, I figured werewolves grew when they shifted, like the ones in movies. They didn't. He was really that big. Even slumped, he was more than a head taller then Chloe. A huge football player of a guy.
Beside me, Daniel whispered, "I was going to tell him off for bullying you. But I'm having second thoughts."
I smiled at him. "I don't blame you."
Despite his size, Derek was obviously no older than us. His cheeks were dotted with mild acne and I could see the ghosts of fading pocks, as if it had been much worse not too long ago. Dark hair tumbled into his eyes as he rested with his head bent forward. ~ Kelley Armstrong

It's a very small object to be capable of doing many wonderful things, don't you think?"
"It does much more that that," Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him.
His eyes widened. "What wonder is this?"
"It's called Angry Birds. Now do you believe me? ~ Derek Landy

"I'm staying here," I whispered down. "I'll keep an aerial eye out for trouble."
"I'm coming with you," Chloe said.
Derek tried to stop her. She said it made sense for her to be in the trees with me in case of a ground attack, and that convinced him. Not that it mattered, I think - she'd have done what she wanted. She obviously didn't take his crap. Still, it would drive me crazy, constantly needing to remind my boyfriend that I could handle myself just fine. My brother was bad enough. ~ Kelley Armstrong

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering. ~ Derek Landy

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm joining your little gang of baby heroes on the quest to find Superdad."
Simon and Derek exchanged a look.
"No," Derek said.
"No? Excuse me, it was Rae who betrayed you guys. Not me. I helped Chloe."
"And was it Rae who tormented her at Lyle House?"
"Tormented?" A derisive snort. "I didn't - "
"You did everything you could to get Chloe kicked out," Simon said. "And when that didn't work, you tried to kill her."
"Kill her?" Tori's mouth hardened. "I'm not my mother. Don't you dare accuse - "
"You lured her into the crawl space," Derek said. "Hit her over the head with a brick, bound and gagged her, and locked her in. Did you even check to make sure she was okay? That you hadn't cracked her skull?"
Tori sputtered a protest, but from the horror in her eyes, I knew the possibility hadn't occurred to her.
"Derek," I said, "I don't think - "
"No she didn't think. She could have killed you with the brick, suffocated you with the gag, given you a heart attack from fright, not to mention what would have happened if you hadn't gotten out of your bindings. It only takes a couple of days to die from dehydration."
"I would never have left Chloe to die. You can't accuse me of that."
"No," Derek said. "Just of wanting hr locked up in a mental hospital. And why? Because you didn't like her. Because she talked to a guy you did like. Maybe you're not your mother, Tori. But what you ar ~ Kelley Armstrong

I slid closer, feeling his arms close around me, tightening. Our lips touched
"Derek?" his dad called. "Chloe?" Derek let out a growl. I laughed and backed up. "We seem to get a lot of that, don't we?" I said. "Too much. After we eat, we're going for a walk. A long walk. Far from every possible interruption." I grinned up at him. "Sounds like a plan ~ Kelley Armstrong

I'm almost finished," said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.
"I never doubted you for a moment," said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. "I actually doubted him the whole time. He's really not very good."
Wilhelm turned. "I'm standing right in front of you. I can hear literally every sound you make."
"Wilhelm, please," said Vex, "this is a private conversation. ~ Derek Landy

"I'm going to tell myself that you're just cranky because Chloe's at the mall with Tori, and you weren't allowed to go. I could point out that if you did go, you'd be even crankier, and you'd make everyone miserable. Especially me."
"You wouldn't have to go."
"Sure I would. I'd need to run interference when Tori asked how a new shirt looked and you told her the truth."
"I'm honest. Honest is good."
"Not when it comes to girls and clothes. You need to gauge their reaction first. If they aren't happy with it, you suggest they try something else, even if it looked fine. If they love it and it looks like hell, you say it's not bad and hope they try something else." ~ Kelley Armstrong