Skulduggery Quotes

Lament turned to Skulduggery. "Do you want me to hold your hand?"
"I'd rather you didn't."
"Perfectly understandable," Lament said. ~ Derek Landy

He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm. ~ Derek Landy

Have to be honest with you Darquesse, I cannot feel that. That must be one of your special abilities, because to me, it looks like you just killed a whole bunch of people for no reason."
"Oh," said Darquesse. "That's so sad ~ Derek Landy

She's actually a friend of yours... Myosotis Terra. And you wouldn't know, actually. Or to be precise, you wouldn't remember. - Skulduggery (Myosotis Terra) ~ Derek Landy

Serpine: Well, Skulduggery? Where is that tired old defiance - the taunting, the goading? Where are the endless heroic clinches? Aren't you going to look me in the eye and tell me to do my worst?
Skulduggery: Actually, I was going to ask that you go easy on me. I'm feeling kind of tender today
Serpine: This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is
Skulduggery:OK
Serpine: Really?
Skulduggery: No, only joking. Do your worst. ~ Derek Landy

I need a weapon," Valkyrie muttered.
"You're an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in
a variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world," Skulduggery pointed out. "I'm fairly certain that makes you a weapon."
"I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword ... I want a stick."
"I'll buy you a stick for Christmas. ~ Derek Landy

The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car. ~ Derek Landy

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering. ~ Derek Landy

Wow," she said. "It's like you're teaching me something and being all wise."
"You are not easy to get along with," Skulduggery said. ~ Derek Landy

Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to. ~ Derek Landy

If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a brave and heroic death. ~ Derek Landy

I don't need you sensitive, Skulduggery. I need you aloof and irresponsible and arrogant. That's why I love you. That's why I let you hang out with me."
"I'm truly blessed."
She grinned. "You love me, too. Once you admit it, everything will be better."
"They're about to hook up the Cube to the Accelerator," he said, and turned and walked off.
She followed. "You can't run from your feelings."
"I can walk from them. ~ Derek Landy

Sanguine: You mind if I take pictures? Brought my own camera and everythin'
Valkyrie: Knock yourself out
Sanguine: Thanks
Valkyrie: No, really, run head first into a wall and knock yourself out ~ Derek Landy

Please just admit it," said Valkyrie. "You're going to miss me, aren't you?"
"Obviously," said Skulduggery.
"Thank you."
"Like a drowning man misses the land."
"A w w w ... "
"Like a hesitant man misses the chance."
"Yeah ... "
"Like an oblivious man misses the point."
"I have a feeling you're mocking me somehow, but I can't put my finger on how. ~ Derek Landy

I envisaged a woman of the late nineteenth century marrying into this milieu, finding it unendurable and fleeing back with her child to the more ordinary hazards of London: of that child, given at her christening the ancient Roman name for the island, Sarnia, but reared in ignorance of her paternal background, discovering, after her mother's death, that she was an heiress, and being bidden back to claim her patrimony. Skulduggery followed naturally.
(On the writing of SARNIA) ~ Hilary Ford

Are you kidding? I jumped off a building
of course I'm hurt. ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery: The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives
Stephanie: It may depend
Skulduggery: Valkyrie--
Stephanie: Fine I'll go -
Skulduggery: Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monster. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant. ~ Derek Landy

I'm in the mood for some fighting." "If there is," Stephanie said, handing him his gun, "here's something you can use." "Ah, bless. I've missed her. Do you have bullets?" "Uh, no." Skulduggery paused. "Excellent," he said, and tucked the gun away. ~ Derek Landy

And I have lifetimes inside me, I'm the girl you see standing here,and I'm a cranky old professor, and I'm a peace-loving man, and I'm a killer and a maid and a king and a peasant. I am a dozen more. You think you're old? You got nothing on me. ~ Derek Landy

I wasn't always who I am now. No one ever is. I've spent my entire lifetime becoming who I am. Finally, I'm here and I'm old. It's depressing, it really is. ~ Derek Landy

It had me," he said. "The shark had me. I was, literally, about to be torn in two. You saved me. In the nick of time, you saved me."
"You're welcome," Skulduggery said.
"I was talking to Valkyrie."
Skulduggery's head tilted. "But I'm the one who figured it all out."
Valkyrie grinned. "You're very welcome, Geoffrey, although I can't take all the credit. China helped, you know."
"But I carver the right symbol," Skulduggery said.
Scrutinous clasped Valkyrie hand in his. "If there is anything I can do for you in the future, anything at all, do not hesitate to ask."
Skulduggery looked at him. "Can I ask, too?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Valkyrie cared that I was being attacked. You told me to shut up."
"That's because your screaming was very annoying. How is that my fault? ~ Derek Landy

Ryan, you're not real. You don't exist ... You're Deacon Maybury," Skulduggery said. "You're a hiding place who thinks it's a boy. ~ Derek Landy

It always surprised Valkyrie whenever she realized just how close the weird and the wonderful, and the fierce and the frightening, lived to the rest pf the non-magical, mortal world. ~ Derek Landy

Well, OK then." He narrowed his eyes. "How about you? Do you have any ... romances I should know about?"
"Nope. Not one."
"Well, good. Excellent. There'll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become a nun."
She smiled. "I'm glad you have such ambitious dreams for me. ~ Derek Landy

*After Skulduggery kills Valkyrie*
Skulduggery: This has been a good day so far, all things considered, I have the location of the Grotesquey and I got to kill Valkyrie, which admittedly is something I've been wanting to do since I met her, she can be incredibly annoying
Scapegrace: Um
Skulduggery: She hardly ever shut up, I pretended to be the friends with her, but honestly, I just felt sorry for the poor girl. Not the brightest you know.
Valkyrie: You're such a goon. ~ Derek Landy

Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need. ~ Derek Landy

The door handle turned. Someone knocked, and a man's voice called, "Uh, hello?"
Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery, looked back at the others, looked at Skulduggery again.
"Hello," Skulduggery said, speaking loudly to be heard over the alarm.
"Hi," said the man. "The door's locked."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"That's funny" said Skulduggery. "Hold on a moment." He reached out, jiggled the handle a few times, then stepped back. "Yes, it's locked. You wouldn't happen to have the key, would you?"
There was a delay in response from the other side. "I'm sorry," the man called, "Who am I speaking with?"
Skulduggery tilted his head. "Who am I speaking with?"
"This is Oscar Nightfall."
"Are you sure?"
"What?"
"Are you sure you are who you say you are? This is the Great Chamber, after all. It's a very important place for very important people. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that someone, and I'm not saying that this applies to you in particular, but someone could conceivably lie about who they are in order to gain access to this room. I have to be vigilant, especially now. There's a war on, you know."
Oscar Nightfall sounded puzzled. Who are you?"
"Me? I'm nobody. I'm a cleaner. I'm one of the cleaners. I was cleaning the thrones and the door shut behind me. Now I can't get out. Could you try and find a key?"
"What's your name? Give me you name."
"No. It's mine."
"Tell me your name!"
"My name is Os ~ Derek Landy

Have you ever heard of Remnants? - Skulduggery ~ Derek Landy

Do you think we'll be waiting long?" Valkyrie asked,
keeping her voice low.
"The last time we were in this building, we accused the
Grand Mage of being a traitor," Skulduggery said. "Yes, I think
we'll be waiting long. ~ Derek Landy

Hello, Davina. You're under arrest for multiple accounts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"
Marr remained unconscious.
"Splendid," Skulduggery said happily. ~ Derek Landy

Lil' Darlin - Billy-Ray Sanguine ~ Derek Landy

So this," she said, "what's happening and what's going to happen, this isn't your fault. You can't control everything and not everything is your responsibility. At Croke Park you said something about how you don't want to drag me around after you so I can die beside you. I wanted to tell you then, but I didn't have the words and I didn't have the time. I'm here because I choose to be. You save my life. I save yours. That's how we work."
"Until the end."
"Until the end. ~ Derek Landy

Wreath frowned. "Billy-Ray Sanguine? What would he want with a Soul Catcher?"
"This is just a guess," Skulduggery said, "but maybe he wants to use it to catch a soul. ~ Derek Landy

You need to find yourself a new hero. - Skulduggery Pleasant. ~ Derek Landy

Valkyrie: Do we have a plan?
Skulduggery: WE need to get the Grotesquery away from the bad guys, so we'll have to split up I'm going to leave, you're going to go hide under the van, wait until they load the Grotesquery in there, and then you're going to drive off under their noses
Valkyrie: What?
Skulduggery: It'll be really funny trust me ~ Derek Landy

Valkyrie had never noticed this before, but walking was really, incredibly boring. She'd watched those Lord of the Rings films where they all went walking up and down mountains and it seemed so adventurous and purposeful, and they didn't look too tired and no one really complained and that Aragorn guy looked really sexy with his stubble and his long hair and what had she just been thinking about? Beards? Lord of the Rings? Walking, that was it. Walking and boredom. God, she was bored. "I'm bored," she said. "We know," said Skulduggery. "This looked a lot more fun on Lord of the Rings." "So you've said. ~ Derek Landy

Strike from the shadows, disapear into darkness ~ Derek Landy

You hear things."
"Do I?"
"People talk to you."
"I am very approachable. ~ Derek Landy

A guy in a stupid mask asked me not to tell you he exists," she said, reaching back to pet Xena.
Skulduggery nodded. "Fair enough. ~ Derek Landy

Scapegrace: Back then, I was full of ideas, I was going to renovate the whole front of the pub,, and extend out to the west, maybe get in a music system a little dancefloor. In the end, I decided not to. Too expensive, you know. And, like, nobody wanted to dance so.
Skulduggery: Vaurien, if you're trying to kill us, there are quicker ways than telling us your life story
Valkryie: Less painful too. ~ Derek Landy

Well," Skulduggery said, "purely to get this out of the way, I'll just go ahead and say it. There does not seem to be any sign of a railway track on the carpet or, indeed, a train hiding behind the sofa. And I don't think one could have fitted through the door. ~ Derek Landy

I wouldn't mind a sister either."
"Any chance of that happening?"
"I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - what more could they want?"
Tanith laughed, then tried to cover it up with a cough.
"Found something?" Skulduggery asked from behind them.
Tanith turned, looking serious. "No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh ... more floor."
Stephanie hugged herself, trying to stop her shoulders shaking from laughter. ~ Derek Landy

It's fairly standard. Also, I'm fourteen. Also, your
beard's stupid."
"Isn't this fun?" Skulduggery said brightly. "The three of us
getting along so well. ~ Derek Landy

And I won't be needing a sword to kill you." He strode towards Skulduggery, who raised his hand. "Um, since you're not going to be using it, can I? ~ Derek Landy

Tell me: do you ever actually remember having a heart, or were you born dead? ~ Derek Landy

Ghastly and Anton have been murdered. Ravel's betrayed us. Valkyrie is ... gone. The Dead Men have had their last stand and we've fallen, Saracen. The three of us are all that remain. - Skulduggery ~ Derek Landy

That man," Carol said. "The thin man at Gordon's will reading, with the ridiculous name. He's involved in this, isn't he?"
"Skulduggery Pleasant," Valkyrie nodded. "And yes, he is. ~ Derek Landy

You ask in awful lot of questions."

"When I grow up, I want to be a detective just like you."

He looked over and saw her grinning. He laughed. "I suppose you do share my penchant for raising Cain. ~ Derek Landy

Valkyrie frowned. 'You think this is a trap?' 'I don't know,' he said, 'but I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how rediculous their beards. ~ Darek Landy

The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend - Skulduggery Pleasant. ~ Derek Landy

Stephanie: I wouldn't mind a sister either
Tanith: Any chance of that happening?
Stephanie: I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - What more could they want? ~ Derek Landy

We live in a time of fear," Skulduggery said, "where we're too scared of upsetting the status quo to ask the questions we need to be asking. ~ Derek Landy

Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven't even asked me any
normal questions."
"Normal questions? Like what?"
"Like, I don't know, like if Lynch had any enemies."
"Did Lynch have any enemies?"
"Well, not that I know of, no."
"Then there really was no point in me asking that, was there? Unless you wanted to distract me. You didn't want to distract me, did you, Kenny?"
"No, that's not - "
"Are you playing a game with me, Kenny?"
"I don't know what you're - "
Inspector Me leaned forward. "Did you kill him?"
"No!"
"It'd be OK if you did."
Kenny recoiled, horrified. "How would that be OK?"
"Well," Me said, "maybe not ~ Derek Landy

There's nothing I would change about the last few years. Valkyrie has proven herself to be an astonishing individual and one I would gladly lay down my life for, such as it is. How many people leading normal lives would you be able to say that about?"
"Until the end," Valkyrie said softly.
Skulduggery looked at her, his head tilting gently. ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery: It would be a tad redudant to encourage you to hurry up, wouldn't it? Whatever you do, do not fall over. Falling over, I think, would be the wrong move to make at this moment
Valkyrie: Hate...
Skulduggery: Yes?
Valkyrie: Hate... You...
Skulduggery: Breathe some more air, the lack of oxygen is making you delirious. ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery was right by Valkyrie's elbow, but remained quiet. She appreciated that. Any other man would have leaped in to defend her honour. Valkyrie was quite capable of doing that herself. ~ Derek Landy

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting. ~ Derek Landy

Cow," Tanith muttered, and that was it, the floodgates opened, and Stephanie doubled over with laughter that echoed throughout the warehouse. Tanith pointed at Stephanie and backed away. "Skulduggery, she's not being professional! ~ Derek Landy

Cartwright grooved the chisel's tooth into the base of the skull, where the spine would fuse, and lifted the hammer. The chisel jumped in his hand and half the skull turned to silt. It cascaded down the rock wall with the faintest sigh. The {nine-fingered} boy let out a string of oaths so profane, so unparalleled, that surely they'd been inspired by a hell so near.

Cartwright was glad to have a hammer in hand. ~ Matthew Neill Null

Kindness suits you."
"Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it. ~ Derek Landy

Detective, have you ever considered the fact that violence is the recourse of the uncivilised man?" Skulduggery looked back. "I'm sophisticated, charming, suave and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilised. ~ Derek Landy

She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity."
"You're saying she's a mood swing?"
He shrugged. "Or maybe you're her mood swing."
"Don't even joke about that. ~ Derek Landy

She turned to Skulduggery and held out her arms. "Come here, you."

He tilted his head. "My hugs are for special occasions only."

"Hug me."

"I prefer the old tradition."

"Hug."

"Would a handshake do?"

"Hug."

"A pat on the back?"

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms round him. "Hug," she said.

He sighed, and his hands settled on her shoulders. The others were warm and their embraces strong – with Skulduggery the hug was cold, and there were areas on his jacket that gave way beneath her fingers, and she could feel the emptiness within. She didn't mind. ~ Derek Landy

Clarabelle ... Clarabelle ... You worked as Kenspeckle Grouse's assistant, did you not?'
'One of the. He fired all the others.'
'But not you?'
'He fired me on the second day, but I kept coming in. I had nowhere else to go.'
'And then you killed him.'
'Yes.'
'A Remnant squirmed inside you, and you killed Kenspeckle Grouse.'
'Yes.'
Nye grinned. 'You're hired. But I have warn you, if you try to kill me, I will dissect you and sing along to your screams.'
'Can I have Mondays off?'
'You may. ~ Derek Landy

You're in a bad mood,' Skulduggery said. 'I understand. I do. You're saying things that you don't really mean. It's OK.'
'I'll kill you both.'
'Hurtful things said in the heat of the moment. We're not going to hold it against you, Bison. We're all friends here.'
Valkyrie nodded. 'We love you Bison.'
'We do,' Skulduggery agreed. 'You're our favourite Necromancer. You're the cuddly one.'
'Shut up,' Dragonclaw said. 'Both of you just shut up. ~ Derek Landy

The traffic warden looked up. "This your car?"
"It is," said Skulduggery.
The traffic warden nodded. "Very nice, very nice. But you can't park here, day or night."
"I wasn't aware of that."
"There's a sign right over there."
"I didn't think it applied to me."
"Why wouldn't it have applied to you?"
Skulduggery tilted his head. "Because I'm special."
"Don't care how special you think you are, you're parked in a no parking area and as such you're---"
"We're here on official police business."
The traffic warden narrowed his eyes. "You're Garda? I'm going to need to see some identification."
"We're undercover," said Skulduggery. "This is a very important undercover operation which you are endangering just by talking to us." He opened his jacket. "Look, I have a gun. I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."
The traffic warden frowned. "Her?"
"Me," said Stephanie.
"Him?"
"Not me," said Skulduggery. "Her."
"Me," said Stephanie.
"You?" said the traffic warden.
"Yes," said Stephanie.
"I"m sorry, who are you?"
Stephanie looked at him. "I'm Her, he's Me. Got it? Good. You better get out of here before you blow our cover. They've got snipers. ~ Derek Landy

Palaeontology and archaeology and other skulduggery were not subjects that interested wizards. Things are buried for a reason, they considered. There's no point in wondering what it was. Don't go digging things up in case they won't let you bury them again. ~ Terry Pratchett

Ah, the smell of mystery and dark doings, of skulduggery and revenge. The meat of a good tale. ~ Glen Cook

Peace means nothing without freedom. ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery tilted his head. "Do you have a car?" "Nope." "Then we'll take mine." "Probably wise. I think I've forgoten how to drive. ~ Derek Landy

The fate of the world depends upon whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives ..." ~ Skulduggery Pleasant ~ Derek Landy

Sanguine: Shackles can't hold me, pretty lady. I'm immune to just about every binding spell I reckon you ever heard of, and a few more you haven't. That's what makes me special
Tanith: That and your psychopathic tendencies
Sanguine: Oh, they don't make me special. They just make me fun. ~ Derek Landy

You'll know they've spotted us when they screech," Skulduggery told her. The creatures screeched. ~ Derek Landy

No one likes sarcasm, Miss Cain. I've merely delayed my exit to promise you something. You took my straight razor, li'l darlin'. That I view as an unforgivable offense. So when the time comes, when you have served your purpose, I swear to you I'm gonna kill you for free." And with that, Billy-Ray Sanguine disappeared into the ground. Then he popped his head back up. "Or at least half price." And he was gone again. ~ Derek Landy

Why did you have to jump out of the window?"
"You know why," Skulduggery said, walking away.
Axle looked up, tears streaming from his eyes. "Why did he do that? Why?"
Stephanie glowered. "Because doors are for people with no imagination," she said. ~ Derek Landy

You know," Ghastly said to Skulduggery, "for someone who hates plans, you've got an awful lot of them."
"Well, yes," Skulduggery replied, "but really, the likelihood of any of them actually working is extraordinarily slim. ~ Derek Landy

Ah, bless. I've missed her. Do you have bullets?"

"Uh, no."

Skulduggery paused. "Excellent. ~ Derek Landy

Very good book! you're gonna have to read this amazing book. the main characters are Valkyrie Cain and the bony Skulduggery Pleasant and they have a good sense of humour. I think that Derek had done a good job at expressing the character's feelings and facial expressions. I love it how in every book there is a bad person and always tries to take over the world and Valkyrie tries to stop them.
Keep going
Derek Landy!
Write more books please!!! ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery: You won't want to move any sudden moves until we reach the road - I'll know if you crazy kids disturbs the air around the nice bag of explosives
Valkyrie: Blow it up
Skulduggery: Can't do that
Valkyrie: Why not?
Skulduggery: Not a bomb. It's a bag with collapsible jacks; for changin tyres
Valkryie: What about the remote?
Skulduggery: It opens my garage door. Don't tell them, but it doesn't even have any batteries in it ~ Derek Landy

I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."
The traffic warden frowned. "Her?"
"Me," said Stephanie.
"Him?"
"Not me," said Skulduggery. "Her."
"Me," said Stephanie.
"You?" said the traffic warden.
"Yes," said Stephanie.
"I'm sorry, who are you?"
Stephanie looked at him. "I'm Her, he's Me. Got it? ~ Derek Landy

Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'
And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight. ~ Derek Landy

Do you have a weapon for me, or do you want me to beat her to death with a large stick? - Mr Bliss ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery? Where's Skulduggery?"
"I'm here," Skulduggery said. "I was beginning to think you were lost to us."
Finbar's mouth twitched into a brief smile. "Sorry. You're not going to get rid of me so easily. ~ Derek Landy

Weren't expecting this, were you, Mr. Detective? Probably thought, once a mountain fell on her, you'd seen the last of our sister, eh?"
"To be honest," Skulduggery said, "yes. ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery: What do you get if you kill the Elders?
Stephanie: This sounds like a joke
Skulduggery: Valkyrie --
Stephanie: I don't know
Skulduggery: Yes, yes you do.. not think what would killing the Elders result in?
Stephanie: Panic, fear? Three empty spaces in the Sanctuary - Skulduggery Pleasant ~ Derek Landy

They're not going to arrest you,' Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. 'They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won't arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There's a good chance they will. But the important thing is that I've done nothing wrong.'
'For once. ~ Derek Landy

What is it with you women? You come into out lives, you take everythin'! Throughtout the years you got little peces of me, of my very soul, and now? Now you got my damn straight razor! How am I supposed to kill people? How am I supposed to even shave? - Billy-Ray Sanguine ~ Derek Landy

I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?" Skulduggery asked. "I don't think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you. ~ Derek Landy

That girl," Skulduggery muttered, "never does what she's bloody well told ... ~ Derek Landy

I want you all to know," Skulduggery said, "that we are the first line of defence. In fact, we're practically the only line of defence. If we fail, there won't be a whole lot anyone else will be able to do. What I'm trying to say is that failure at this point isn't really the smart move to make. We are not to fail, do I make myself absolutely clear? Failure is bad, it won't help us in the short term and certainly won't do us any favours in the long run, and I think I've lost track of this speech, and I'm not too sure where it's headed. But I know where it started and that's what you've got to keep in mind. Where's my hat? ~ Derek Landy

What is it?' Stephanie whispered.
'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.'
She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?'
'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us. ~ Derek Landy

I understand perfectly. Darquesse isn't a separate entity. She isn't another person. She's you. If you make the wrong choices, if you stop loving the people who love you, if you allow the world to twist and turn and change you, then yes, the future we've seen will come to pass. But if you fight, and if you kick, and struggle, and refuse to give in to the apathy, or the anger, or the hopelessness, then you'll change the future, and you'll walk your own path. And I'll be right there beside you, Valkyrie. I'll always be beside you. ~ Derek Landy

It would be fun," Skulduggery nodded. "I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like. ~ Derek Landy

Fletcher appeared beside her. He peered at the baby.
"Can it do any tricks yet?"
"I'm still working on it. Want to hold her?"
"God, no," Fletcher said laughing. "I'd drop it."
"It's not an it, it's my baby sister. Go on, hold her. You won't make a mess of it, i swear. Only an idiot could drop a baby."
"You always say I am an idiot."
"But you're a special kind of idiot. Here."
She passed Alice into his arms, and he stood there, rigid, a look of intense concentration on his face. ~ Derek Landy

Stephanie glared at Skulduggery. "What was wrong with the door? You could have just come down the stairs and walked out the door. Why did you have to jump out of the window?"
"You know why," Skulduggery said, walking away.
Axle looked up, tears streaming from his eyes. "Why did he do that? Why?"
Stephanie glowered. "Because doors are for people with no imagination," she said, and led Axle to the car. ~ Derek Landy

You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.'
Skulduggery ~ Derek Landy

I didn't think they even existed. They're in stories, in legends, and we have Dragon Eye jewels and dragon threads and dragon this and that, but no one ever seriously thought these things came from actual dragons. That would have been... ridiculous. - Skulduggery ~ Derek Landy

We're here on Sanctuary business," Skulduggery tried.
The man on Deadfall's right bristled, and Deadfall grinned. "Hear that, Pete? They're with that Sanctuary."
Hokum Pete snarled. "I hate the Sanctuary."
"Oh," Skulduggery said.
"We all hate the Sanctuary."
"Ah. Then we're not here on Sanctuary business. I was just joking. ~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery, she's not being professional - Tanith Low ~ Derek Landy

This is your last chance to do the right thing.'
'Do you want to attack first, or will I?'
Skulduggery held up a finger. 'Do you mind if I confer with my colleague for a moment?'
'By all means.'
Skulduggery leaned in towards Valkyrie. 'Damn,' he whispered. 'She's not going to do the right thing.'
'Did you really think she would?'
'I was really hoping.'
'Can we beat her?' Valkyrie asked.
'I don't like our chances.'
'What are our chances?'
'We don't have any,' Skulduggery admitted. 'Do you think you can take Craven on your own?'
'No.'
'Me either. Do you want to leave him to me then, and you can take her?'
'I like that idea even less.'
'I don't blame you.'
She sighed. 'We're going to get killed, aren't we?'
'It looks likely. Our only hope is a surprise attack.'
'They're staring right at us.'
'Dammit.' Skulduggery straightened up. 'We have discussed the situation,' he said to them, 'and decided that it would be in everyone's best interests for me to fight you, Melancholia, and for both Valkyrie and Cleric Craven to stand back and cheer or boo as they see fit. ~ Derek Landy