Youre Kidding Me Quotes

So softly Lizzy has to lean over to hear me, I say, 'I can't face the world until I know why I'm here.'
You're kidding me.'
I shake my head vehemently. 'No. I need to figure out my purpose. Until I do, what's the use of getting up? ~ Wendy Mass

Baby?" She perched beside him in the chair. "You're kidding me right?" "I was trying it out, no?" "no," she said firmly Simon & Clary ~ Cassandra Clare

They were saying, 'Keep this under your hat, but Jack Sparrow's going to die in the second movie.' I went, 'You're kidding me. The fans are going to go berserk.' ~ Geoffrey Rush

You've got to learn to stand your ground and," she flicked her feet in a little Irish stepdance and sang, "you've got to have faith, faith, faith."
My jaw dropped. "You're kidding me, right? You're dancing in the streets and quoting George Michael. I'm about to get eaten alive! ~ A&E Kirk

Marcus: Cherry?
Jillian: My ten-year-old niece.
Marcus: She's named after a piece of fruit?
Jillian nodded.
Jillian: So is her twin sister, Apple.
Marcus: You're kidding me.
Jillian: Unfortunately, I'm serious. Their father is fond of fruit pies and thought it would be cute.
Marcus: And their mother didn't protest?
Jillian: She thinks Steven's cute, so she gives him whatever he wants. ~ Gena Showalter

You know what I mean. And by the way, you should slow down."
I sighed. "You're kidding me. This is coasting. This is little old lady speed."
"NASCAR drivers would have heart attacks. Slow down before we get a ticket."
"Chicken. ~ Rachel Caine

This is a private home."
"And?"
"And I can't enter without an invitation."
She jerked her head up. "You're kidding me?"
"No."
"You don't live in a crypt and you can't turn into a bat, but you have to have an invitation to enter a house?" Abby hissed.
A reluctant amusement softened the flat eyes. "You wanted me to be vampirish."
"Not when it's inconvenient. ~ Alexandra Ivy

Hey Baby. Baby? You're kidding me, right? I was trying it out. No? No. ~ Cassandra Clare

When it's time to confess, you don't know what you're saying. Are you telling the truth, or do you confuse your lies with reality? The question is comical. The answer is lost in the maelstroms of consciousness. It's even impossible to pretend, eventually, that the question wasn't asked. You've been kidding yourself about yourself for so long, you're someone else. Your you is just a fragile fabrication. Every morning, you have to wake up, assemble this busy, dissembling monster, and get him or her on his or her feet again for another round of fantasy. ~ David Guterson

Forgive me,' the woman says. 'I think I've interrupted you in a private moment.'
'Well,' I reply, instead of yelling something to the effect of :'No kidding lady, I'm in the bathroom!'
'Were you praying?' she asks.
'Sort of.'
'That's what I thought,' the woman says with a nod, 'which is why I spoke up. I like the idea of answering prayers,' she says. 'Plus, I figure I'm so old, I could have been God's babysitter. ~ Robin Epstein

(You think I'm gonna tell you how much I spend on fro yo? Are you kidding me? We just met. ~ Brian Donovan

Sophia Mercer," Elodie intoned, "we have come to induct you into our sisterhood. Say the five words to begin the ritual."
I blinked at her. "Are you freaking kidding me?"
Anna gave an exasperated sigh. "No, the five words are 'I accept you offer, sisters. ~ Rachel Hawkins

You amaze me, Cameron."

That got a slight smile out of her. "High praise, coming from someone who knows how to kill people with paper clips and everything."

Jack looked over in surprise. "You know about the paper clips?" He stroked his chin. "Hmm. Now that was good. Even for me."

Cameron stared at him, stupefied.

He laughed. "I'm just kidding." Mostly. Staples maybe, but never paper clips. ~ Julie James

If you read reviews that you think by their very nature are not respectful of the actresses involved or not appreciating the work as it should be, I think you should write to reviewers or comment and say, "Are you kidding me?" ~ Romola Garai

From behind her back, Sarah brought out a set of Matchbox cars, which she handed to Jonah.
"What's this for?" He asked.
"I just wanted you to have something to play with while you're here," she said. "Do you like them?"
He stared at the box. "This is great! Dad ... look." He held the box in the air.
"I see that. Did you say thanks?"
"Thank you, Miss Andrews."
"You're welcome."
As soon as Miles approached, Sarah stood again and greeted him with a kiss. "I was just kidding, you know. You look nice, too. I'm not used to seeing you wearing a jacket and tie in the middle of the afternoon." She fingered his lapel slightly. "I could get used to this."
"Thank you, Miss Andrews," he said, mimicking his son. ~ Nicholas Sparks

To play Hillary Clinton? I'm kind of winging it. No, are you kidding me? I prepared obsessively. I mean, as much as I could in the time that I was given. Of course, with someone like Hillary Clinton, obviously, anything you want is on YouTube and at your fingertips there. ~ Hope Davis

You go back," Jack said. "And you catch the scum who did you." "Back?" I said. "Back to ... " "Earth, yeah," Jack said. "Chicago." He closed the folder and dropped it into his out-box. "You gotta find out who killed you." I arched an eyebrow at him. "You're kidding. ~ Jim Butcher

Since when did you bring a gun?" Navidson asks, crouching near the door.
"Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ~ Mark Z. Danielewski

Shit. You've gotta be kidding! Didn't you jump your first day here?"
"Second"
Luke threw his arms up. "That makes so much more sense. So, you know the guy two days and what? He says jump and you say how high?"
"Actually, it'd be how far." I motioned my arm to show him. "You have to jump out."
"You're not helping!" He growled. ~ H.R. Willaston

My mind blurs to a ripple of pleasure when his soft, full lips at last make contact with mine. He starts to deepen the kiss, but pauses, intent on the glass behind me. "You gotta be kidding."
I glance over my shoulder. Outside, Morpheus hangs on the glass in moth form, level with my head, glaring at us with his bulbous gaze. Even without a face, his smugness is apparent. His favorite pastime is interrupting Jeb's romantic moments. I try not to laugh, but can't help myself.
"Cocky son of a bug." Jeb sets me on the floor and draws the dropcloth tighter around me.
A barn owl swoops from the sky and skims the glass. Morpheus launches off in a tizzy, trying to outrun the bird. Now Jeb's the one laughing.
I slap his shoulder. "Hey, that's not funny."
"Ah, he'll be okay." Jeb raises an eyebrow, watching the aerial pursuit taking place outside the glass. "It's a new genus of vegetarian owls. They're only in it for the chase. Besides, Morphie-boy can change to his other form anytime he wants." ~ A.G. Howard

What did you get her for the wedding gift?"

"Dude, I bought her a fucking Steinway."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I had to. She saw it in a store and played it in the showroom. The entire staff gathered around to watch her. She kept her eyes closed and wept while she played "Isolde's Love Death" from Tristan and Isolde. She played the whole fucking thing without any sheet music. The crowd clapped and whistled. I offered to buy it on the spot; I said we could write it off, but she said absolutely not. She wouldn't let me."

"How much was it?"

"A lot."

"Dude, tell me, how much?"

"A hundred."

"A hundred what?" Tyler said in disbelief.

"A hundred fucking shillings. A hundred thousand dollars, you moron."

"You bought her a hundred-thousand-dollar piano?"

"Well, technically, Alchemy Sound Studios bought it for her, but yeah ~ Renee Carlino

I was at a banquet, and I went into the ladies' room, and I'm in the stall doing my business, and a piece of paper and pen came from outside the door, and she says, 'Ms. Wagner, would you please sign this for me?' And I said, 'Are you kidding me?' ~ Lindsay Wagner

There were place cards at the head table, which was one long, rectangular thing that would have everyone facing the reception room. I sat at the one marked Chritine Russell. Randy say to my left, with Denise to his right. To my right read Chris Pin. Who ... ?
"You've got to be kidding me," I said aloud. Why didn't I just shoot myself and get it over with?
"Justina, we meet again." Bones appeared and took his seat next to me as I vaulted out of my chair. "Wouldn't want to be rude, but I believe your table is over there. ~ Jeaniene Frost

George unhinged his jaw and coughed up a little plastic bottle filled with chewable vitamins.
"You're kidding," I said. "Are those Minotaur-shaped?"
Hermes picked up the bottle and rattled it. "The lemon ones, yes. The grape ones are Furies, I think. Or are they hydras? At any rate, these are potent."
~ Rick Riordan

Dor shook his head. "The phrase. What does it mean?"
Sarah wondered if he was kidding. "Time flies? You know, like, time goes really fast and suddenly you're saying goodbye
and it's like no time passed at all?"
His eyes drifted. He liked it. "Time flies."
"With you," she added. ~ Mitch Albom

Bree grit her teeth and lunged for him but Brian held her back and Will spoke up instead. "You go away!" Will cried back angrily. "I know you did sumting dat made my mommy mad at my daddy. Is you fault!" "I suggest you put a muzzle on your brat and get back in the living room," Bernardo ordered. "Careful, Father. This is none of your concern," Alessandro said. "Are you kidding me?" Bree asked. "Of course this is his concern because he's the only one you give a damn about. You'll do anything for him. Absolutely anything even if it means betraying me or Will or God forbid Gianni." "That is not true. I would never - " "It is true!" Bree yelled. "Everything you've done has proven that." "Look, every marriage has problems and that is no reason to turn back on the vows you made to each other," Bernardo pointed out. "You made a promise to honor the terms of the O'Reiley/Dardano vendetta. Be careful before you renege on those vows, Mrs. Dardano." "You and your stupid vendetta!" Bree hissed. "Begun by a man who couldn't handle the fact that he couldn't have what he wanted! God it must be genetic. Well, I guess I shouldn't blame you, Alessandro. Knowing Bernardo and Adriano, at least you come by it honestly. ~ E. Jamie

Swallowing hard, I shuffle over to him. "Listen…I'm sorry I've been such a dick lately. I was…distracted."

"Distracted," he echoes skeptically.

I nod.

He keeps staring at me.

"My head's on straight now. Honest."

Garrett peers past me, and although I can't see Hannah's face, whatever passes between them causes his broad shoulders to relax. Then he grins and slaps me on the arm. "Well, thank God. Because I was seriously considering promoting Tuck to the number one best friend slot."

"Are you kidding? Big mistake, G. He's a terrible wingman. Have you seen his beard?"

"I know, right?"

And just like that, we're good again. Seriously, chicks need to take a lesson from dudes when it comes to burying the hatchet. We know our shit. ~ Elle Kennedy

I'd love to, she finally said,"on one condition."
I steadied myself, hoping it wasn't something too awful.
"Yes?"
"You have to promise that you won't fall in love with me."
I knew she was kidding me by the way she laughed, and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
Sometimes, I had to admit, Jamie had a pretty good sense of humor.
I smiled and gave her my word. ~ Nicholas Sparks

Dude, are you kidding? You're kinda annoying, but you're probably the only person on Earth who always thinks about other people first. I don't care what shape you are ... you're totally my sister now. ~ Brian K. Vaughan

When I get back to my dorm room, there it is, staring at me from above my bed. The Vladimir Putin calendar. Ha! I guess Katerina got a copy of it for me after my drunken rant at the secret supper club about how I had to ironically have one.
This is a girl after my own heart.
You have to see this calendar.
July: Vladimir Putin fly-fishing topless. March: Vladimir Putin smelling a flower. November: Vladimir Putin holding a puppy. I'm not kidding. Holding a puppy!
I laugh to myself. Katerina sure has my number. Maybe she will be my BFF even after I go back to the States. ~ Andrea Portes

I'm glad you brought it up. I wasn't sure how to approach you about it, but this makes it easier for both of us, don't you think? And if you keep cooperating, I'm sure I can get you leniency."
I gulp. "Leniency?"
"Yes, Emma. Of course you realize I could arrest you right now. You understand that, right?"
Ohmysweetgoodness, he came all this way to press assault charges against me! Is he going to sue me, sue my family? I'm eighteen now. I could legally be sued. The heat on my cheeks is part kill-me-now embarrassment and part where's-a-knife-when-you-need-one rage. "But it was an accident!" I hiss.
"An accident? You've got to be kidding me." He pinches the bridge of his nose.
"No, I am not kidding. Why would I ram into you on purpose? I don't even know you! And anyways, how do I know you didn't run into me, huh?" The idea is preposterous, but it leaves room for reasonable doubt. I can see by his expression he didn't think of that.
"What?" He is struggling to follow, but what did I expect? He can't even find his class in a school with only three halls. That he found me clear across the country seems more miraculous than a push-up bra.
"I said, you'll have to prove that I ran into you on purpose. That I meant to cause you harm. And besides, I checked with you at the time-"
"Emma."
"-and you said you didn't have injuries-"
"Emma."
"-but the only witness I have on my side is dead-"
"EM-MA."
"Did you hear me, Galen?" I ~ Anna Banks

Miss Kay

I love to laugh with my grandchildren. I want them to have fun with me, and I try to make just about everything an adventure. One day I decided to take them to visit Phil's sister, who lives just over the hill and through the woods from Phil and me. There is a well-worn trail Phil and I normally take to her house, but that day I thought I would give the children a little adventure by taking a different route. I led the way down an overgrown path that was completely covered with vines. We almost felt like we were pioneering through an African jungle. The children loved it, and I thought it was fun, too, until I got so tangled up in a bunch of vines I literally could not move. I didn't want to frighten them, so I started laughing and crying, "Help me! Help me!" very dramatically. To this day, the children have no idea I was really stuck. I truly could not get out of those vines. I was laughing so hard they thought I was kidding. Thankfully, someone came to my house while I was all tied up, heard us laughing in the distance, and came to my rescue. Now that was an adventure, and the kids just love to laugh and retell it. ~ Korie Robertson

Your kidding" i said. "we've escaped from top- security prisons, lived on our own for years, made tons of smarty-pants grown-ups look like fools without even trying,eaten desert rats with no A1 steak sauce, and your telling me we're minors and have to have guardians?" I shook my head, staring at him. "Listen pal, i grew up in a freaking dog crate. I've seen horrible, part-human mutations die gut-wrenching deaths. I've had people, mutants, and robots trying to kill me twenty-four/seven for as long as i can remember, and you think i'm gonna cave to state law? are you bonkers? ~ James Patterson

I have a great idea, Gregori," she told him wickedly. "Let's take a commercial flight."
"What?" He was staring at her mouth. She had a great mouth.A perfect mouth. A sexy mouth. Mon Dieu, he wanted her mouth.
"Doesn't a commercial flight sound fun? We could take a night flight, mingle with people.It might even throw off the reporter."
"Nothing is going to throw off the reporter.He is tenacious.And there will be no commercial flight.There will be no discussion on this,either. None. If we go to New Orleans,and I am not saying we will, commercial flights are out."
"Oh,Gregori,I was only kidding. Naturally we'll do things your way," she added demurely.
He shook his head,exasperated at himself. Of course she had been teasing. He wasn't used to anyone treating him as Savannah did. Outrageous woman. "I need to go out and talk with Wade Carter."
She stood up instantly, expectantly, her blue eyes wide in anticipation. "Tell me what you want me to do. I can probably manage mist.I'm stronger now,using your blood.I can back you up."
Amusement warmed the cool silver of his eyes. "Mon Dieu, Savannah, you sound like a cop movie. ~ Christine Feehan

"Where the hell are you?" he snapped when I answered.
"You're back? Good. So how was - ?"
"You're not here."
"Because I'm supposed to be waiting by the gate?"
"You know what I mean. Simon said you went to talk to Tori, but you're not on the property, so I'm really hoping you're with her."
I glanced at Tori's back, a half mile away. "Kind of."
"She took off, didn't she? And you went after her, knowing you aren't supposed to leave the property unaccompanied."
"Tori needs - "
"Tori can look after herself."
"And I can't?"
A growl. He knew better than to answer. Despite my lack of defensive superpowers, I'd gotten myself - and Tori - out of plenty of scrapes. Sometimes, knowing you don't have the skills to fight can be a bonus. With Tori, overconfidence equals lack of caution and, yes, as Derek would say, common sense.
"I'm just going to talk to her," I said. "I'll bring her home - "
"No, you'll come back. Right now. That's an order."
"Well, in that case . . . no."
A louder growl.
"Seriously?" I said. "An order? Has that ever worked?"
He grumbled something I couldn't hear and probably didn't want to.
"I'm not kidding, Chloe. Stop running, turn around, and - "
"I'll be back as soon as I catch her. 'Kay? Bye." ~ Kelley Armstrong

I'm the most experienced cinematographer in this medium, so there's no point in having that extra conversation in the middle of the loop. You're making the film in relation to what's happening now, and you can't really affect what's happening now. It's not like you're in control of anything in front of the camera. If you're calling yourself the director and you're not the cinematographer, I think you're kidding yourself. ~ David Douglas

Get away from me," she cried. "What are you?"

"Death," Lok answered menacingly.

Brooke looked at him in horror.

"Haha, just kidding. ~ Will Collins

If you are reading this, I am probably dead. I would assume this because I can honestly foresee no other situation where you'd be interested in anything I've done. Right now, you are actually more interested in preventing me from doing things like working, sleeping, and smiling. I'm kidding, of course. Kind of. I love you with all of my heart, but you are probably the reason I'm dead. ~ Jim Gaffigan

I keep everything that is most important to me close to me: my family, my bible, my X-Box - just kidding. ~ Brian Littrell

She gave me a hard look. "No one likes a wiseass, Harry."
"Are you kidding? As long as the wiseass is talking to someone else, people love 'em. ~ Jim Butcher

I was only kidding about the hundred," she says.
oh," I say, "what will it cost me?"
she lights her cigarette with
my lighter and looks at me
through the flame:
her eyes tell me.
look," I say, "I don't think I
can ever pay that price again. ~ Charles Bukowski

He came to find me," I offered, a small indication, maybe,that this was a Phillite boy who'd grown into doing the right thing.
"I'll give him that. He could have just sucked down his spaghetti and gone." Frankie stuck the cap back on the lipstick. "You look very pretty in..." He flipped the tube over and read. "You've gotta be kidding. Poysonberry? Who comes up with this stuff? Anyway.I'm sure Alex Bainbridge will agree."
"Thank you."
"Anytime.Just keep this in mind, if you would, please. I know that you look very pretty every day, with or without the ridiculously named wax products."
"Saint Francis," I teased, feeling just delightfully poysonous enough in the glow of his approval. "Too good for this world."
"That's just what Connor said." Frankie's most recent boy. They met in a bookstore.
"Bookstore Connor of the fantasy realm?"
Behind us,the gong went. Frankie started to scoop his stuff together. "Careful.His fantasies do not involve one-dimensional Phillites or dead men."
I tapped him on the tip of his perfect nose. He hates that. "How do you know? He might have a thing for dead, one-dimensional Phillites. ~ Melissa Jensen

Let's start with how you don't feel sexually attractive."
I gulped. "All right."
"Are you fucking kidding me? ~ Samantha Young

He had to clear his throat before he could say, "You know, I always thought it would be cool to have a kid sister."
"Be careful what you wish for." Adne looked up at him and grinned. "I'm kind of a brat."
Ren laughed.
I couldn't help myself. "She's not kidding."
"Thanks, Lily." Adne glared at me, but she was laughing too. "What do you say we continue trading insults where we're less likely to be in mortal peril?"
"She calls you Lily?" Ren was gazing at her, astonished.
I groaned. "She does."
"Great minds." He flashed a wicked smile at me before winking at her. ~ Andrea Cremer