Vlad The Impaler Quotes

The white hands of the tenebrous belle deal the hand of destiny. Her fingernails are longer than those of the mandarins of ancient China and each is pared to a fine point. These and teeth as fine and white as spikes of spun sugar are the visible signs of the destiny she wistfully attempts to evade via the arcana; her claws and teeth have been sharpened on centuries of corpses, she is the last bud of the poison tree that sprang from the loins of Vlad the Impaler who picnicked on corpses in the forests of Transylvania.
The walls of her bedroom are hung with black satin, embroidered with tears of pearl. At the rooms four corners are funerary urns and bowls which emit slumbrous, pungent fumes of incense. In the centre is an elaborate catafalque, in ebony, surrounded by long candles in enormous silver candlesticks. In a white lace negligee stained a little with blood, the Countess climbs up on her catafalque at dawn each morning and lies down in an open coffin. ~ Angela Carter

Among the nations of Earth in all its history, ours is one of the precious few that has not brought forth its Hitler, its Stalin, its Pol Pot, its Mao Tse-tung, its Vlad the Impaler, the one who is never satisfied to have every knee bend to him but wants also to be the architect of a new world by destroying the existing one. ~ Dean Koontz

I am your brother. I was supposed to be your brother before either of us was born. Karmic debt. It appears I was Vlad the Impaler or Genghis Khan in a past life. ~ Rob Thurman

Did Genghis Khan take his coffee black?" Oberon asked me. After my bathtime story, he wanted to be the Genghis Khan of dogs. He wanted a harem full of French poodles, all of whom were named either Fifi or Bambi. It was an amusing habit of his: Oberon had, in the past, wanted to be Vlad the Impaler, Joan of Arc, Bertrand Russell, and any other historical figure I had recently told him about while he was getting a thorough cleansing. His Liberace period had been particularly good for my soul: You haven't lived until you've seen an Irish wolfhound parading around in rhinestone-studded gold lamé. ~ Kevin Hearne

Vladimir Putin had once been known as Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler, the inspiration for Dracula. And that he had also, in fact, been Grigori Rasputin before the Russian Revolution of 1917. ~ Jeff Kirvin

He shuffled up to the stake and examined the impaled, naked, dead man. The stake entered his anus and protruded through his gaping mouth, his death mask frozen in a look of horror. ~ Anthony Hulse

It touched me to be trusted with something terrible. ~ Elizabeth Kostova

None of us like each other, but one thing is for sure, we all hate you. ~ RoChe Montoya

that's like Vlad the Impaler calling Maggie Thatcher a bit insensitive. ~ David Mitchell

I felt sure, glaring at the children as they settled onto the sand with their shovels, that these creatures were never threatened by the grimness of history, either.

Then, looking down on their glossy heads, I realized that they were indeed threatened; they were simply unaware of it. We were all vulnerable. ~ Elizabeth Kostova

I've heard that Vlad the Impaler established without a doubt that having a stick up one's ass was detrimental to one's health. And I am very interested in keeping you healthy. ~ Patricia Briggs

Though a good cop, Luc Claudel has the patience of a firecracker, the sensitivity of Vlad the Impaler, and a persistent skepticism as to the value of forensic anthropology.
Snappy dresser, though. ~ Kathy Reichs

She's my wife," Vlad growled before I could correct the misassumption. "And if your cock twitches one more time while you look at her, I'll burn it off. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Vlad stared at Simon. "Meg told the Elders they were..."
"Bad puppies," Simon finished. "Yeah."
A minute passed before Vlad said, "Why?"
"They didn't say 'please' when they asked for cookies."
"I don't know what to say."
Simon scratched behind an ear that was now Wolf-shaped and furry. "That's okay. Meg said plenty for all of us. ~ Anne Bishop

The dungeon image helped. "You need to let Maximus go," I stated, my voice stronger now.
"No. Wine? ~ Jeaniene Frost

Vlad hated doing the paperwork as much as he did when a human employee quit, which was why they'd both made a promise not to eat quitters just to avoid the paperwork. As Tess had pointed out, eating the staff was bad for marale and made it so much harder to find new employees. ~ Anne Bishop

Are you having performance issues?" I asked in surprise. "Bite your tongue," Vlad said, with a snort. "I was seeing if Dermot understood sign language, but from the look on his face, it seems not. ~ Jeaniene Frost

So with nothing to do but algebra, Vlad settled down in front of the television with controller in hand. ~ Heather Brewer

What the hell was that?" I gasped. "Premature inflammation," he replied. "Happens sometimes. Very embarrassing. I don't like to talk about it. ~ Jeaniene Frost

No one feels like you do, so every brush of your skin is a cruel reminder of what I've lost. I can barely stand the sight of you because you're more beautiful than I've allowed myself to remember, and when I cut that wire off Maximus and smelled you all over him, I wanted to kill him more than I've wanted to kill anyone in my life, yet I couldn't because of my promise to you."
Slow tears continued to trickle down my cheeks, but for a different reason this time.
"You care."
The words were whispered with a despairing sort of wonder. He wasn't willing to rescind his loveless vow, clearly, but I was wrong about the apathy I'd thought he felt. That he admitted all the above was surprising enough; the fact he'd done it within earshot of his pilots was no less than shocking.
Vlad grunted. "Don't worry. I intend to kill them as soon as we land. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Vlad was cunning to the point of being a sociopath. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Two Leilas seemed to be battling it out inside me. The first was outraged that he still considered it a fait accompli that I'd give in to him, and the second ... that slutty bitch was wondering what Vlad looked like naked. ~ Jeaniene Frost

I told you once before," I said, the words husky from remembrance. "Everyone holds their sins close to their skin."
Fangs gleamed for an instant before Vlad bit into his wrist, pooling up two deep crimson holes.
"Then come," he said, holding it out. "And taste mine. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Vlad looked around. Are we providing shelter, or are the humans actually buying books? ~ Anne Bishop

Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!' Vlad? I know two Vlads. One is a cute little bunny that brings me cookies. The other is bad Vlad. Which Vlad?' Which one do you think?' Bad Vlad?' Good call. ~ Dr. Seuss

In torment, there was release.
In the darkness, there was light.
In solitude, there were companions. ~ C.C. Humphreys

Mulling this over, Vlad wiped her lip gloss from his lips with the back of his hand.Vampires, after all, didn't sparkle. ~ Heather Brewer

Vlad made a mental note to amend the friend code: thou shalt not date the girl that thy best friend has a crush on ... nor shalt thou try sticking thy best friend in the chest with a sharp hunk of wood. ~ Heather Brewer

Vlad: Why think separately of this life and the next...
Mirena: When one is born from the last. ~ Mirena

But what would they have said to their Liaison? It's like this, Meg. We didn't like that Asia Crane, so we ate her.
When dealing with humans, honesty isn't always the best policy, Vlad thought ~ Anne Bishop

I was sitting cross-legged in bed, trying without success to pretend I'd misunderstood the image I'd glimpsed. Yeah, right. Because Vlad had been between my legs looking for a set of keys he'd lost. ~ Jeaniene Frost

The lapels of Sprat's many-buckled jacket were covered with buttons. Most of them belonged to bands, but a few were pretty funny. Like the one that read 'MY FAMILY'S A FREAKSHOW WITHOUT A TENT' and the one that boldly proclaimed 'I (HEART) BEING AWESOME'. Vlad pointed to the one that read 'I'M SO GOTH PEOPLE ASK ME TO AUTOGRAPH BOXES OF COUNT CHOCULA' and smirked. ~ Heather Brewer

Sometimes you have to be alone to think, and sometimes the best place for thinking isn't home. ~ Heather Brewer

He was also handsome in a too-pretty way that made me think with less muscles, a wig, and some makeup, he'd look great in a dress.
Vlad's scowl vanished into a smile as the brunet's gaze swung in my direction as though he'd somehow heard that.
"Looks as though she's put you in your place as well, Bones," Vlad drawled. ~ Jeaniene Frost

We now know I can do it, but I feel like hell," I went on. "I'm so cold, my teeth would chatter if they still could. And I'm hungry enough that both of you are starting to looking really, really good."
Vlad's lips curled. "Is this the part where I'm supposed to remind you that this is just the leftover power talking and you don't really want to cheat on Hones?"
"Not that kind of hungry!" I gasped, eyes bulging that Vlad thought I'd just casually thrown out that I wanted him and Mencheres to double-team me. "I meant hungry like drinking you guys' blood. Not hungry for... you know."
Without thought, my gaze flew to the areas in question before skipping away once I realized what I was doing. Then my cheeks actually tingled with mortification as Vlad let out a long, hearty laugh. Mencheres, more courteous, pretended to suddenly find something fascinating in the door frame, but I saw his lips twitch.
"My dear Reaper," Vlad said, still laughing. "Did you just check out our--"
"No!" I interrupted at once, almost lunging toward the staircase. "I'm tired and still dazed from the Remnants and... fuck it, I'm taking a shower. I mean, not a cold shower, because I don't need that"--Oh Jesus, I was only making this worse--"because I am cold already, and I need to get hot. I mean, warmer. Oh, just shut up! ~ Jeaniene Frost

When the three of them stepped inside, they were greeted by the Muzak version of "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance. Vlad and Henry exchanged looks of horror, and Vlad sighed. "Is nothing sacred? ~ Heather Brewer

More of that hair-raising energy rolled out of Vlad, until I was rubbing my arms to chase the tingling sensations away. Was this what Marty meant when he told me vampires could measure each others' strength by feeling their auras? If so, then Vlad's had Badass: Do Not Engage written all over it. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Nothing could convince Aunt Nelly to let Vlad stay home for the duration of the school year, which just goes to prove that parents and guardians don't care if they're sending you to face bloodthirsty monsters, so long as you get a B in English. ~ Heather Brewer

Leila, this is my friend and honorary sire, Menecheres, and his wife, Kira," he said, indicating the lopng-haired Middle Eastern man and the blonde. "Also let me introduce my friend, Cat." The redhead, and for some reason she looked familiar. "Her husband, Bones"-here Vlad smiled coolly at the short-haired brunet-"is not my friend. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Elizabeth served herself to Vlad upon the Lazy Susan (Susan wasn't lazy. She was actually dead." - Bats 2015 ~ Fred Barnett

Then I went to the morgue and saw that those bones weren't yours, heard your voice again in my head" -his eyes closed- "and once more, nothing else mattered. ~ Jeaniene Frost

You arrogant ... " thrust through the stomach of a snapping zombie, twisting and using all my strength to cleave him in half " ... over published ... " wasn't going to work, it clawed at the blade, and my God, these things were tough, " ... showy old bat ... " Crack! There went my head into the wall. If I didn't have a split skull, I'd be amazed. "What are you waiting for? Aren't you the king of all bogeymen? The legend children fear will devour them if they don't behave?"
"Come on, Vlad, live up to your reputation! If you can't burn to death one Egyptian vampire chained to a wall, how did you ever drive the Turks from Romania?"
"You did it!"
"Of course, I'm Vlad Tepesh, what did you expect? ~ Jeaniene Frost

I know when I'm not wanted," joked Uncle Vlad. "Guess I'll make like under-eye cream and get the bags. ~ Lisi Harrison

Drive-ins," Vlad said, his lip curling in a way that said he hadn't been a fan of them even when they were popular. "I suppose that's better than a regular theater. Less people at drive-ins, and if they're anything like I remember, most of the humans there won't be concentrating on anything but fornicating anyway."
His disdainful tone almost made me laugh. Who knew the reputated scourge of the underworld looked down his nose at drive-in nookie?
"Not everyone had their own castle to go back to when they were young and horny," I said, my lips twitching.
The look he threw me was more than cynical. "My youth was spent in constant war, not the pursuit of tender seductions. ~ Jeaniene Frost

He should have told Vlad that in the old days a collection of poems could change your life, but a single poem could also cost the life of its author. ~ Andrei Makine

Henry hooked his legs on the branch and flipped over gingerly, until he was hanging upside-down, grinning at Vlad. Then Henry's grin slipped. He fell to the ground several feet below with a thump, crying out as his body made impact. Vlad shimmied down the tree as fast as he could. "Henry ! Are you okay?" Henry sat up, clutching his wounded knee. He looked very much like he was going to start crying any second. A small, thin line of blood oozed from the scrape on his knee. Vlad's tiny fangs shot from his gums. Henry's eyes went wide, his injury all but forgotten. "What are those?" Vlad's small shoulders sank. He'd let his dad down. "They're my fangs." "Vlad, are you a vampire or something?" Henry's eyes were big, and Vlad was certain he saw fear in them. Not as much fear as when Henry had been falling from the tree, but close. He took a deep breath, glancing at the house. Then he sat down in front of Henry and said, "Yeah, Henry. I'm a vampire. But it's a secret. A very, very, very big secret and you can't tell anyone ever. ~ Heather Brewer

No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style. ~ Steven Brust

They all wanted me to sell you out."
There was silence on the line. They both knew that Vlad knew too much about Roman's business dealings - both legal and illegal. He could have made a fucking fortune on selling Roman out.
"Why haven't you?" Roman said, sounding unconcerned, as if he hadn't doubted for a moment that Vlad wouldn't do it.
Vlad scowled and took a gulp of beer.
"Because apparently I'm an idiot. ~ Alessandra Hazard

I stretched out my hands as if to ward him off. "Not yet. I want to know what your end game is first."
Another flash of teeth, this time showing his fangs.
"To have you screaming my name within the hour. ~ Jeaniene Frost

He did. I swear it. Baldwin ordered him to leave or face the same fate as the Impaler. You should have seen Baldwin's face. The devil himself wouldn't have disobeyed your brother. ~ Deborah Harkness

There are very few things that live in both this world and the world of dreams. Most are gods, angels and demons. The Stone you hold was made by Vlad Valkire the son of an angel and a demon. By the divine blood that ran in his veins, Valkire could see the light and hear the song of creation -- if only as glimmerings and whispers.
"Over time, he became aware of the light and the music and as he grew so did his understanding of it. At the age of twenty two, he began his greatest labor -- the making of the Wyrd Stones. In them he captured the light and song of creation and by them some of the powers of gods, angels and demons fell into the hands of elves and men. A sorcerer who knows its secret may -- like a god, angel, or demon -- stand with one foot in this world and another within the world of dreams.
"Your Stone is a gateway into the world of dreams, Luthiel. When you sing, it opens and you are, in part, taken there. Others who hold a Wyrd Stone like yours may know when someone crosses into dream. When you sang, I could hear you quite clearly. ~ Robert Fanney

When I heard the ghouls coming for you, all I cared about was reaching you in time. How often must I tell you that you mean more to me than vengeance? I can live without defeating my enemies, but I cannot live without you. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Even though he was inside the house, I could still hear Vlad's sardonic mutter of "Where's a tissue when I need one?"
I turned my face away from Bones after a long moment, ending our kiss, and called out,
"If you're not too busy watching Hitman, I hear Dracula 2000 is a good movie."
"Vicious," came Vlad's reply, amusement clear in his tone. ~ Jeaniene Frost

I am awake and witness to the beauty that resides behind you're soulful eyes of intent. Become my impaler. ~ Truth Devour

Is it that time of the month?" Vlad asked.
Some feeling blew through her. It might have been embarrassment, but she suspected it was closer to rage. "What?"
He studied her. "Is that not an appropriate question to ask?"
"No!"
"Odd. In many novels I've read, human males often ask that question when a female is acting…" Puzzlement as he continued to study her face. "Although, now that I consider it, they usually don't make that observation to the female herself. ~ Anne Bishop

You have a visitors," Maximus stated. His face was impassive, but I still cringed, trying to discreetly tug my hand out of Vlad's. He let me go and folded his arms, smiling in that scary, pleasant way at Maximus.
"And they are so important that you had to find me at once and enter without knocking?"
I heard the threat behind those words and blanched. He wasn't about to throw down on Maximus over this, was he? Don't, I sent him, not adding the please only because I knew the word didn't work on him.
"Forgive me, but it's Mencheres and his co-ruler," Maximus stated, not sounding apologetic even though he bowed. "Their wives as well." I started to slink away, sanity returning now that I wasn't caught up by Vlad's mesmerizing nearness. What had I been doing? Nothing smart, that was for sure.
"Leila Stop," Vlad said I kept heading for the door. "You have company, so I'll just make myself scarce-"
"Stop"
I did at his commanding tone, and then cursed. I wasn't one of his employees-he had no right to order me around. "NO," I said defiantly. "I'm sweaty, and bloody and I want to take a shower, so whatever you have to say, it can wait."
Maximus lost his impassive expression and looked at me as if I'd suddenly sprouted a second head. Vlad's brow drew together and he opened his mouth, but before he could speak, laughter rang out from the hallway.
"I simply must meet whoever has put you in your place so thoroughly, Tepesh," an unfamiliar British voic ~ Jeaniene Frost

You arrogant, overpublicized, showy old bat, what are you waiting for? Aren't you the king of all bogeymen? The legend children fear will devour them if they misbehave? Come on Vlad, live up to your reputation! If you can't burn to death one Egyptian vampire chained to a wall how did you ever drive the Turks from Romania? ~ Jeaniene Frost

Eh, I'll be inside," Vlad said with another soft scoff. "For some reason, I feel the urge to watch Hitman followed by Mr. and Mrs. Smith. ~ Jeaniene Frost

That's it, I think, crumpling the pages into one tiny ball of suck. I'm done banging my head against this stone wall; I don't care if I have to begin my article, "Vlad likes three things: fencing, himself, and killing off his siblings." I don't care if I have to lie and - oops - report that Vlad likes finger painting with dolphin blood in his spare time. We're now entering full investigative mode. ~ A.M. Robinson

You see, you don't want me to love you. You want the version you've made up. The knight, even though I'm the dragon and I always will be. ~ Jeaniene Frost