Sneezing Quotes

I remember when "atheist" was a scary word.

I remember little suits, on little boys, with no lapels.

I remember dining room table leaves.

I remember a brief period of "bad breath" concern: the product of a health class at school.

I remember that "most bad breath is caused by germs."

I remember that germs are everywhere!

I remember trying to visualize germs (physically) as they crawl around all over everything.

I remember that my vision of germs pretty much resembled normal insects, only much smaller, of course.

I remember sneezing into my hand, out in public, and then the problem of what to "do" with it. ~ Joe Brainard

Jack: "We were in danger. We shall probably get pneumonia."
Mary: "Isch!"
"There! You're sneezing already."
"I am not sneezing. That was an exclamation of disgust."
"It sounded like a sneeze. It must have been, for you've every reason to sneeze; but why you should utter exclamations of disgust I cannot imagine."
"I'm disgusted with you - with your meanness. You deliberately tricked me into saying - - "
"Saying - - ?"
She was silent.
"What you said was that you loved me with all your heart and soul. You can't get away from that, and it's good enough for me."
"Well, it's not true any longer."
"Yes, it is," said Wilton, comfortably, "bless it."
"It is not. I'm going right away now, and I shall never speak to you again."
She moved away from him, and prepared to sit down.
"There's a jelly-fish just where you're going to sit," said Wilton.
"I don't care."
"It will. I speak from experience, as one on whom you have sat so often."
"I'm not amused."
"Have patience. I can be funnier than that." - Wilton's Holiday ~ P.G. Wodehouse

The situation suddenly felt absurd, and he had to control the urge to laugh out loud, the sheer folly of the midnight escapade catching up with him. He had imagined his career as an impostor ending in so many ways. Being caught sneezing halfway up a trellis whilst trying to burgle a fourth-rate hotel had not been one of them. ~ Paul Fraser Collard

My mom says crying is just your body expelling all the bad stuff. Like a sneeze. Like your soul sneezing. ~ Jeff Garvin

He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me? ~ Ilona Andrews

And we're going out.

Kill me.

'Got everything?' Mom asks, her voice all sing-songy. We're acting normal. A short-lived facade when I open my bag and Operation Check Contents begins.

1. Phone to call for help if we have a car crash/get mugged/drive into the path of a tornado

2. Headphones to drown out the sound of people if we get caught in a crowd

3. Bottle of water for if we break down and get stranded in the middle of nowhere

4. Another bottle of water in case that other bottle leaks or evaporates

5. Tissues for nosebleeds, sneezing, crying, and/or drooling

6. Sanitizer to kill the germs you can catch from touching anything

7. Paper bag to breathe into or throw up in

8. Band-Aids and alcohol wipes in case open wounds should occur

9. Inhaler (I grew out of asthma when I was twelve, but you can't be too careful when it comes to breathing)

10. A piece of string that serves no purpose but it's been here since for ever and I'm afraid the world will implode if I don't have it

11. A pair of nail scissors for any one of a trillion reasons, most of which conclude with me being kidnapped

12. And, finally, chewing gum to take away the sour taste I always get when the panic hits

Normal takes a nosedive into my bag, sinks beneath the copious amount of clutter, and dies a slow, painful death. ~ Louise Gornall

But when did this anger take root? When snakes first appeared on the national scene? When water in the bowels of the earth turned bitter? Or when he visited America and failed to land an interview with Global Network News on its famous program Meet the Global Mighty? It is said that when he was told that he could not be granted even a minute on the air, he could hardly believe his ears or even understand what they were talking about, knowing that in his country he was always on TV; his every moment - eating, shitting, sneezing, or blowing his nose - captured on camera. ~ Ngugi Wa Thiongo

Foolishness had never been an option in his life. He hadn't acquired the knack for it. He should have known. Kisses, he'd learned through hard experience, complicated things, unless they were a means to a foregone conclusion or part of an ongoing sensual entanglement. He'd never had a kiss quite like that one. One he hadn't planned. One that had seemed so . . . necessary. One that had nevertheless solved nothing. One that had led to him flattening himself behind a shrubbery and later, sneezing a tiny winged insect out of his nose on the walk back to the house. It had lodged there while he lay flat on his back, staring up at the crisp blue Autumn sky, contemplating his folly, listening to Miss Vale prevaricate wildly. He was almost sorry he hadn't heard her invent a bawdy new verse to the Colin Eversea song. ~ Julie Anne Long

I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs. ~ Barbara Woodhouse

I've had my fair share of colds, which last longer than they should and can cause wheezing, so I avoid people who are sneezing like the plague and am scrupulous about hygiene and hand-washing. ~ Kevin McCloud

I like to write when I feel spiteful. It is like having a good sneeze.
(Letter to Cynthia Asquith, November 1913) ~ D.H. Lawrence

Winter's here, and you feel lousy: You're coughing and sneezing; your muscles ache; your nose is an active mucus volcano. These symptoms
so familiar at this time of year
can mean only one thing: Tiny fanged snails are eating your brain. ~ Dave Barry

Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs. ~ Lemony Snicket

Funambulist.' said Sophronia Temminnick, quite suddenly.
'Sophronia, such language!' Dimity Plumleigh-Teignmott reprimanded.
'Pardon?' said Agatha Woosmoss.
Sidheag Maccon, the final member of Sophronia's group, muttered, 'Bless you.'
'I wasn't sneezing, nor being indelicate, thank you all very much. I was thinking out loud.'
'As if thinking out loud weren't *decidedly* indelicate.' Dimity was not to be swayed out of disapproval when she felt it might exercise her creativity. ~ Gail Carriger

You hang around actors, or dancers, the minute you sneeze, everybody has a remedy, and we're all on a million different kinds of diets, and different kinds of things that we do for exercise. ~ Anna Deavere Smith

Truthfully though, there are some advantages to being on antipsychotics. This might seem silly but when you go to the pharmacy and you're standing in line with twenty germy people sneezing all over the place you can honestly say, "Would you mind if I went first? I have to pick up my antipsychotic meds and I REALLY needed them yesterday." This tactic also works for grocery lines, the DMV, and some buffets. ~ Jenny Lawson

...I'm severely allergic to unsolicited monologue performances in public. While they don't cause sneezing or hives, when exposed, I do experience extreme and immediate vaginal dryness. ~ Sara Barron

A scratch at the door interrupted us. Colin dropped and rolled under the bed again. One of the maids poked her head in. "Miss?"
I tried not to look as if I was hiding a handsome young lad under the mattress.
"Yes?"
"Lord Jasper sent me up to see if you need help getting ready for a ball." She smiled proudly. "I have a fair hand with a curling iron."
"Oh.Thank you." I needed to get Colin out before I ended up naked in the middle of my bedroom. "I,um, could I get some hot water? To wash my face?"
"Certainly,miss. I'll have the footmen bring up the bathtub, if you like, before all the fine ladies start calling for their own baths."
"That would be great, thanks." I'd never actually been in a full reclining tub before. We had a battered hip bath in the kitchen.
The maid curtsied and closed the door behind her. I let out a breath. Colin crawled back out. "They need to sweep under there," he said, sneezing. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

People that sneeze really loud in public need to find a hobby or a better way to try to get people's attention ~ Robert J. Braathe

But if the line is drawn farther off, or not drawn at all, then the homosexual must go ever further for the same thrill of transgression. He must invent new methods, new combinations. Not content with merely inserting his organ of generation in the place of evacuation and uncleanness, he has to insert his fist there too - and we are subjected to the absurdity of school officials nodding in their superior wisdom as Mr. Savage explains to teenagers that you really can shape your fist so that it won't cause intense pain or tear the rectum or do a host of other things that he won't tell them about, because they involve diseases like hepatitis, and it's best to hide those things from teenagers who are apt to be squeamish about people sneezing on their lunch, let alone invading their intestines. ~ Anthony Esolen

It's a fucking pharmaceutical conspiracy, Eve. We've wiped out just about every known plague, disease, and infection. Oh, we come up with a new one every now and again, to give the researchers something to do. But none of these bright-eyed medical types, none of the medi-computers can figure out how to cure the common fucking cold. You know why?"
Even couldn't stop the smile. She waited patiently until Mavis finished another bout of explosive sneezing. "Why?"
"Because the pharmaceutical companies need to sell drugs. You know what a damn sinus tab costs? You can get anticancer injections cheaper. I swear it. ~ J.D. Robb

The Cat on your hearthstone to this day presages, By solemnly sneezing, the coming of rain! ~ Arthur Guiterman

All over India policemen were arresting people, all opposition leaders except members of the pro-Moscow Communists, and also schoolteachers lawyers poets newspapermen trade-unionists, in fact anyone who had ever made the mistake of sneezing during the Madam's speeches, ~ Salman Rushdie

Brishen tried to pull her close, but she danced out his reach. "You'll muss my hair, and Sinhue will string you up by your guts if you ruin all her hard work. I'm terrified of even sneezing in case I do something to it and suffer the same death."

Brishen scowled, his expression both exasperated and puzzled. "Just wear a hat."

She refused to dignify the ridiculous suggestion with a reply. Men. ~ Grace Draven

There's a very loud noise in my ear, not unlike a cat sneezing, if the cat is the size of the Great Sphinx of Giza and it's just inhaled three tons of snuff. ~ Charles Stross

The Russian commands sound like the name of the camp commandant. Shishtvanyanov: a gnashing and spluttering collection of ch, sh, tch, shch. We can't understand the actual words, but we sense the contempt. You get used to contempt. After a while the commands just sound like a constant clearing of the throat - coughing, sneezing, nose blowing, hacking up mucus. Trudi Pelikan said: Russian is a language that's caught a cold. ~ Herta Muller

She smiled sweetly. "I bet you jack off with your pinkie stuck up in the air, don't you?"
His smirking lips twitched, faint and quick as a flea sneezing. "Picture it however you like. ~ Cara McKenna

Rumors of sneezing, kissing, tears, sweat, and saliva spreading AIDS caused people to panic. ~ Ryan White

Theistic equivalent of slapstick or a clumsy God or perhaps one sneezing or kicking up a pebble - can account considerably better for our present situation than can an intentional act of Creation. The humanlike God we're prone to worshipping could be a long-dead intergalactic sea horse that, rooting through an ancient seabed for plankton in some unknown dimension, incidentally dislodged the one grain of sand that held all of our own infinite cosmos intact. ~ Jesse Bering

Be able to sneeze without sounding ridiculous. That means neither stifling yourself or spraying your immediate vicinity. ~ Marilyn Vos Savant

They all got really quiet and started to lick their lips, closing in on Lucy. I started to lick my lips, too, because it's one of those subconcious, contagious things like sneezing, but then I stopped because it just isn't worth it if you forgot to bring ChapStick. ~ The Harvard Lampoon

I mean, it's just sex. It's simple biology, right? You build up tension and stress
you need to open a valve somewhere and let it out, or you'll explode. Nothing deep and emotional about it, just a bodily function. Like sneezing.'
'Sure,' Kane said, nodding sagely. 'Coed naked sneezing. The next wave in porn. ~ Louisa Edwards

Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.
A shiver raced down Daphne's spine, causing her to sway. In just a moment, she would belong to this man forever.
Simon's head turned slightly, his eyes darting to her face. Are you all right? his eyes asked.
She nodded, a tiny little jog of her chin that only he could see. Something blazed in his eyes - could it be relief?
I now pronounce you -
Gregory sneezed for a fourth time, then a fifth and sixth, completely obliterating the archbishop's "man and wife." Daphne felt a horrifying bubble of mirth pushing up her throat. She pressed her lips together, determined to maintain an appropriately serious facade.
Marriage, after all, was a solemn institution, and not one to be treating as a joke.
She shot a glance at Simon, only to find that he was looking at her with a queer expression. His pale eyes were focused on her mouth, and the corners of his lips began to twitch.
Daphne felt that bubble of mirth rising ever higher.
You may kiss the bride.
Simon grabbed her with almost desperate arms, his mouth crashing down on hers with a force that drew a collective gasp from the small assemblage of guests.
And then both sets of lips - bride and groom - burst into laughter, even as they remained entwined.
Violet Bridgerton later said it was the oddest kiss she'd ever been privileged to view.
Gregory Bridgerton - when he finished sneezing - said it ~ Julia Quinn

(The doorbell rang) ... I knew that Feely and Daffy would never condescend to respond to a bell ("So utterly Pavlovian," Feely said) ...
Keep warm feet and a cool head, and you'll never find yourself sneezing in bed. ~ Alan Bradley

All on-set kisses are weird, no matter who it is, especially with people standing around coughing and sneezing. It's very uncomfortable! ~ Bella Heathcote

This is a very bad book you're writing," I said to myself behind my leaks.

"I know," I said.

"You're afraid you'll kill yourself the way your mother did," I said.

"I know," I said.

There in the cocktail lounge, peering out through my leaks at a world of my own invention, I mouthed this word: schizophrenia. The sound and appearance of the word had fascinated me for many years. It sounded and looked to me like a human being sneezing in a blizzard of soapflakes. ~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

I grabbed my tackle box and bole and caught up with Pancake to go scare away some fish. He was really good at it- stuck his snout in the water like he could sniff them out, and then he'd come up sneezing and shaking like, Blasted! Dog's can't breathe underwater- how could I forget? We don't have gills and we can't ... Hey, what's this? Water? Oh boy oh boy I wonder if I can sniff out fish? ~ Sarah Ockler

Almost sneezing is like almost having an orgasm. Sure it tickles getting there, but if you don't get the release you were hoping for at the end, then what's the point? ~ Karyn Bosnak

I was coughing and sneezing, my eyes were sore, my knees were shaky, I was as hungry as a bitch wolf, and I had exactly eight cents to my name. I didn't care. my history was longer by eleven thousand brand-new words, and at that moment I bet there wasn't a chairman of the board in all New York as happy as I. ~ Joseph Mitchell