Louise Gornall Quotes

They (...) call what I have an invisible illness, but I often wonder if they're really looking. Beyond the science stuff. It doesn't bleed or swell, itch or crack, but I see it, right there on my face. It's like decay, this icky green colour, as if my life were being filmed through a grey filter. I lack light, am an entire surface area that the sun can't touch.

Sometimes things are going to happen and the only way out is through.

Effect and outcome.'
'Exactly. We can assume the best, but we can't choose how people perceive us. We can, however, choose how those views affect us.

See, anxiety doesn't just stop. You can have nice moments, minutes where it shrinks, but it doesn't leave. It lurks in the background like a shadow, like that important assignment you have to do but keep putting off or the dull ache that follows a three-day migraine. The best you can hope for is to contain it, make it as small as possible so it stops being intrusive. Am I coping? Yes, but it's taking a monumental amount of effort to keep the dynamite inside my stomach from exploding. The

Beauty comes from how you treat people and how you behave. But if a little lipstick makes you smile, then you should wear it and forget what anyone else thinks.

Why do people keep telling me to be myself? Honestly. It's like they've never even met me.

And we're going out.

Kill me.

'Got everything?' Mom asks, her voice all sing-songy. We're acting normal. A short-lived facade when I open my bag and Operation Check Contents begins.

1. Phone to call for help if we have a car crash/get mugged/drive into the path of a tornado

2. Headphones to drown out the sound of people if we get caught in a crowd

3. Bottle of water for if we break down and get stranded in the middle of nowhere

4. Another bottle of water in case that other bottle leaks or evaporates

5. Tissues for nosebleeds, sneezing, crying, and/or drooling

6. Sanitizer to kill the germs you can catch from touching anything

7. Paper bag to breathe into or throw up in

8. Band-Aids and alcohol wipes in case open wounds should occur

9. Inhaler (I grew out of asthma when I was twelve, but you can't be too careful when it comes to breathing)

10. A piece of string that serves no purpose but it's been here since for ever and I'm afraid the world will implode if I don't have it

11. A pair of nail scissors for any one of a trillion reasons, most of which conclude with me being kidnapped

12. And, finally, chewing gum to take away the sour taste I always get when the panic hits

Normal takes a nosedive into my bag, sinks beneath the copious amount of clutter, and dies a slow, painful death.

But she is a lover, a Beatles song, one of those people who collect inspirational quotes.

It's such a noble word, unconditional. Brave. Blindly committing to situations it knows nothing about.

I'm being forced to challenge ideas that have kept me safe for so long. There's an entire library of information in my head, and suddenly I can't decide if any of it is worth reading.

I saw you having a hard time getting across the grass to your car.' He whispers it, like he's telling me secrets.

'You saw that?'

He turns a slight shade of pink, rubs the back of his neck, and stares out of the kitchen window.

'I wasn't spying.' For a moment he looks ten years younger. 'I was hoping to get your attention. You see, I thought we were flirting.'

'Hang on a second.' I'm confused. It's like being introduced to Advanced Calculus all over again. 'You mistook an anxiety attack for flirting? How?' Trying to figure out which part of my harpooned-squid impression could be considered anything other than tragic.

Puberty: the ultimate makeover.

Hi.' I'm a little out of breath when I answer the door. Worse when I'm done soaking up his smile.

'You like vanilla ice cream, right?' he says, holding up a brown paper bag. 'Not the vanilla pod stuff. I remembered that thing you said about not liking black bits in your food. Assumed you were being literal.' See. He does understand.

'Aww,' Mom coos from inside the mouth of the couch.

Mental health is usually the last place people go when they think about someone being sick.