Quotes About Satirist Bierce
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PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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I love Washington. I have an affection for the place. For a satirist, I think it's sort of Disneyland. I mean, you know, there's always some inspiration in the morning's headlines. ~ Christopher Buckley
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The satirist isn't just looking at things ironically but militantly - he wants to change them, and intends to have an effect on the world. ~ Martin Amis
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ADAM'S APPLE, n. A protuberance on the throat of a man, thoughtfully provided by Nature to keep the rope in place. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Grim grey-cloud morning . . . brightened up, for me at least, by the first review of my new novel, 'Billionaires' Banquet'. A tad early, but the Scottish Review of Books clearly just couldn't wait to share the glad tidings! Phew! Quote: 'Brilliant! . . . a suavely compelling, ceaselessly inventive entertainment . . . delivered with delirious aplomb . . . Butlin is both a master farceur and a merciless satirist.' Will be giving it a nervous first airing tomorrow at the Aye Write festival (treading the boards with the great Carl MacDougall). Fingers crossed, please! ~ Ron Butlin
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REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Aim, n. The task we set our wishes to. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate". ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Mammon, n. The god of the world's leading religion. His chief temple is in the city of New York ~ Ambrose Bierce
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OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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A man is known by the company he organizes. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Immoral is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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Phoenix, n.
The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.' ~ Ambrose Bierce
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PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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