Punchline Magazine Quotes

I've gotta stop thinking I know what other people think, cause most of 'what other people think' is something I'm making up. So I should just let them have their experience, I'll have my experience and not pretend to know, and just get past that. [I think that] is a major obstacle: manifesting that insecurity, that fear. Believing the audience in your head as opposed to what's really going on in the world - not responding to the one I'm making up, which is always going to judge me harder than the real one. ~ Marc Maron

To the public, the press is not David among Goliaths; it has become one of the Goliaths, Big Media, a combination of powerful television networks, large magazine groups and newspaper chains that are near-monopolies. ~ Thomas B. Griffith

At a magazine, everything you do is edited by a bunch of people, by committee, and a lot of them are, were, or think of themselves as writers. Part of that is because magazines worry about their voice. ~ Chuck Klosterman

The term "FTM-Butch Border War" just sounds like an alien land of yore. How is it that the gravitational pull of my beard and low-voice should hold [my lesbian friend's] masculinity in deferential orbit? That when standing side-by-side we are supposedly read in comparison, rendering her unalterably more feminine - shorthand, in patriarchal societies, for "lesser than"?

Masculinity has more than enough space to spare. But sometimes its flesh-and-blood vessels act as if we have to wound each other for it, like dogs fighting over too few scraps. Anyway, [she] and I know without speaking that in reality, right here and right now in our present moment, that she and I are two different sides of the same coin; two keys sung for the same tune."

- from "Snapshots: "Sharing Space with Women," Original Plumbing Magazine 2014 ~ Mitch Kellaway

To me this movie is about what is valuable. To one person it might be a stone; to someone else, a story in a magazine; to another, it is a child. The juxtaposition of one man obsessed with finding a valuable diamond with another man risking his life to find his son is the beating heart of this film. ~ Edward Zwick

Air France's in-flight magazine. ~ Ervin Laszlo

I couldn't open up a magazine, you couldn't read a newspaper, you couldn't turn on the TV without hearing about the obesity epidemic in America. ~ Morgan Spurlock

Nickelback walks into a bar ... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny. ~ Dave Grohl

I think my speeches are hilarious. I think I'm a natural comedian, but I like denying people the chance to laugh. I want to deny you the relief of the punchline. ~ Lydia Lunch

That's where Time magazine lives ... way out there on the puzzled, masturbating edge, peering through the keyhole and selling what they see to the big wide world of Chamber of Commerce voyeurs who support the public prints. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

I've continually reminded myself that I never want to change. I could be on the cover of a magazine today, but next week someone else is going to be on that cover. You always have to remain the same person because when those opportunities end, guess what you have? You have you. And if you change from being you, you have nothing anymore. ~ J. R. Martinez

I'll never forget the day when a woman came up to me and said, 'No, you could never be on a magazine cover. Your face features don't work; your eyes are small, you have a small face but a big nose.' I was only 14 and I had never noticed any of that stuff, you know? ~ Gisele Bundchen

I'd like a pop-up magazine with 45 articles on Russell Crowe. I'm like a teenager. I'd have 'Teen Beat' if I could, for grown-ups. ~ Caroline Rhea

Sometimes I don't want to stand around a room full of strangers, chitchatting about nothing, so I'll come late to a party - and leave early. Though now that I'm saying this in a magazine, I'll probably never be invited to another one. ~ Cheryl Hines

Because I was so involved with Barbara [Stanwyck], I was off-limits for other women, which was something of a problem for the studio. They wanted to promote the image of a carefree young stud - never my style - so I had publicity dates with young actresses around town like Lori Nelson or Debra Paget. This was a relic of the days when the studio system was in its prime. The studio would arrange for two young stars-in-waiting to go out to dinner and a dance and assign a photographer to accompany them. The result would be placed in a fan magazine. It was a totally artificial story documenting a nonexistent relationship, but it served to keep the names of young talents in front of the public. As far as I was concerned, it was part of the job, and usually pleasant enough. When reporters would ask me about my romantic life, which they did incessantly, I had to say things like, "If I go out with one woman a few times, it's considered a romance. If I date a lot of girls, I'm a Casanova. It's one of those 'heads-you-win-tails-I-lose' deals. I don't think it's anybody's business what I do." The last sentence contained my true feelings. ~ Robert J. Wagner

Science Magazine wouldn't in a dream think about publishing a single Chinese term. Chinese words and brands must be suppressed, crushed even, hold back at all costs. ~ Thorsten J. Pattberg

I don't pay much attention to magazine covers. One day, there'll be slack times in my career. It's unavoidable, because success is temporary. Which is why you have to stay focused on this very taxing job. ~ Lea Seydoux

As Harry Potter was the only other thing I was passionate about, the doctors gave consent for me to leave the hospital and collect the fifth Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, from the local book shop. I was so ecstatic to have the book and excited to begin reading it, but there was never any hint of your imminent arrival and the way you would change my life so drastically. Luna, you instantly captivated me. I didn't know why but there was something about you with your upside-down magazine, straggly blonde hair, and the honest, abashed way you stared at people without blinking that fascinated and perplexed me at once. You laughed hysterically at one of Ron's quips and didn't stop to excuse yourself and feel ashamed when it became clear that everyone found you strange. Throughout the book, I found myself waiting for your brief appearances and wanting to know more about you and why you were the way you were. You baffled me, not because you were odd (though indeed you were), but because you were… perfect. But it was a different kind of perfect to the perfectly thin, smiling magazine girls I simultaneously idolised and reviled. It was the way you carried your oddness like it was the most natural thing in the world. You didn't market your oddness as your defining feature the way some insecure teenagers do, in guise of confidence and security. And nor were you oblivious to the awkward and uncomfortable feelings your oddness provoked in others. When, unabl ~ Evanna Lynch

My first job in TV was hosting this young teen magazine show, and all these high school teenagers showed up from all over Sacramento, California, and they chose four of us to host the show, two boys and two girls. And of the two girls, I was kind of the perky smart one and the other girl was the pretty one. ~ Lisa Ling

I thought it must be pure science fiction. But when I checked it out I found a lot of magazine articles that actually supported the theory behind the book which was incredible. That's when I decided to acquire the rights of the book and everything went from there. ~ Roland Emmerich

The sexy magazine in Britain in that time was called Club International. Club International: It was about as international as the International House of Pancakes. It should have been called Naked Cockney Girls with Scurvy. ~ Craig Ferguson

This is so lame to say in a magazine, but I just grabbed some pink wallpaper. I find it to be a very relaxing color. ~ Paul Dano

I was first published in the newspaper put out by School of The Art Institute of Chicago, where I was a student. I wince to read that story nowadays, but I published it with an odd photo I'd found in a junk shop, and at least I still like the picture. I had a few things in the school paper, and then I got published in a small literary magazine. I hoped I would one day get published in The New Yorker, but I never allowed myself to actually believe it. Getting published is one of those things that feels just as good as you'd hoped it would. ~ David Sedaris

It's been a strange [summer] ... I was sent by a magazine to photograph famous photographers ... Of course, I included myself. ~ Weegee

While I was still going to embrace social media, I knew I had to do things that nobody else was doing. I decided I had to meet as many people as I could - face to face. While most artists would email galleries, I would show up in the lobby. Instead of liking an art show or exhibition, I would go there and meet everyone. And while most would send a magazine a press kit, I go and meet the editor. This notion of face to face contact became my mantra. ~ Mark Edward

I tell the kids that, even in a childhood marked by despair and deprivation, I knew that no matter what happened, I still had my family, or at least the remnants of a family ripped apart by divorce and then glued back together in various odd arrangements through a series of ill- advised remarriages. It was good to know I had a solid foundation. ~ Bill Bryson

I like 'Elle' magazine. I love things online, like when all the big brands have a fashion show, I like to see the new collections. ~ Tiesto

It is essential that children who are directly or indirectly affected by domestic violence receive psychological care. ~ Asa Don Brown

We are a society of excuses, shame and blame; we avoid accountability and often project our responsibility when involving domestic violence. ~ Asa Don Brown

God doesn't like lesbians, Grandma Huberman hised, throwing the magazine in the trash.
Jennifer knew what lesbian meant, and she knew she probably was one. But she couldn't understand why God would hold that against her or against Monica Mathers, who'd never started a war or killed anybody, and whose deadeye three-pointers were straight-up amazing. After all, hadn't God made both of them? But people were like that, she'd noticed. They'd invoke Godly privilege at the weirdest of times and for the most stupid reasons. ~ Libba Bray

Nothing will turn a man's home into a castle more quickly and effectively than a dachshund. ~ Victoria Magazine

If you don't have exposure, you simply, don't Exist! ~ Paul W. MacKay