Martinis Quotes

Chris, soap people are like
us-they seldom go outdoors. And when they do, we only hear about it,
never see it. They loll about in living rooms, bedrooms, sit in the
kitchens and sip coffee or stand up and drink martinis-but never, never
go outside before our eyes. And whenever something good happens,
whenever they think they're finally going to be happy, some catastrophe
comes along to dash their hopes. ~ V.C. Andrews

Martinis in a can, Callie. We live in an age of wonders. ~ Jeffrey Eugenides

Jack coughed slightly and offered his hand. "Hi, uh. I'm Jack."
Kim took it. "Jack what?"
"Huh?"
"Your last name, silly."
"Jackson."
She blinked at him. "Your name is Jack Jackson?"
He blushed. "No, uh, my first name's Rhett, but I hate it, so…"
He gestured to the chair and she sat. Her dress rode up several inches, exposing pleasing long lines of creamy skin. "Well, Jack, what's your field of study?"
"Biological Engineering, Genetics, and Microbiology. Post-doc. I'm working on a research project at the institute."
"Really? Oh, uh, my apple martini's getting a little low."
"I've got that, one second." He scurried to the bar and bought her a fresh one. She sipped and managed to make it look not only seductive but graceful as well.
"What do you want to do after you're done with the project?" Kim continued.
"Depends on what I find."
She sent him a simmering smile. "What are you looking for?"
Immediately, Jack's eyes lit up and his posture straightened. "I started the project with the intention of learning how to increase the reproduction of certain endangered species. I had interest in the idea of cloning, but it proved too difficult based on the research I compiled, so I went into animal genetics and cellular biology. It turns out the animals with the best potential to combine genes were reptiles because their ability to lay eggs was a smoother transition into combining the cells to create a new species, o ~ Kyoko M.

I've kept a tally of the alcohol Ellie's consumed - three martinis at the dinner reception and four whiskeys neat at the pub. She downs a fifth one like water.

"You're a Viking!" Henry encourages her.

"Vikings!!!" Ellie shouts.

When the Prince calls the bartender for another, I push my way through the crowd to Henry.

"She's had enough," I tell him quietly.

"She's fine." He waves his hand at the air.

"She's just a girl," I insist.

Ellie takes exception, poking my arm with her finger and slurring. "Hey! I resent that. I'm a matter adult. Mattur. Ma-ture." She tilts her head, gasping. "Oh my God, I just realized that except for one letter, mature and manure are the same word! That's so weird."

I turn back to Prince Henry. "Like I said . . . more than enough."

He leans across the bar towards Ellie, holding up two fingers. "Ellie, how many fingers do you see?"

Ellie squints and strains, until finally she grabs Henry's hand and holds it still.

"Four."

"Brilliant answer!"

"Was I right?" Ellie asks hopefully.

"No - if you'd gotten it right, I'd be really concerned." Then he bangs the bar with his palm. "Another round!"

That's when Ellie slides clear off her stool. I catch her before she hits the floor, but just barely. And then I glare at Henry.

"Mmm . . . perhaps we have reached our quota for the evening." He ~ Emma Chase

There is a hideous invention called the Dewey Decimal System. And you have to look up your topic in books and newspapers. Pages upon pages upon pages…"

Uncle Will frowned. "Didn't they teach you how to go about research in that school of yours?"

"No. But I can recite 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic' while making martinis."

"I weep for the future."

"There's where the martinis come in. ~ Libba Bray

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life. ~ George Burns

I think people think we're all sipping martinis by the pool. ~ Maria Menounos

French martinis or lemon drops or cosmos and impromptu viewings of Auntie Mame (the Rosalind Russell version, not the Lucille Ball version) or Steel Magnolias. ~ Kristen Ashley

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate ... eh ... spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. ~ Woody Allen

He was shaking so badly, we could have used him to make martinis for James Bond. ~ Elizabeth George

They're not tourists, either, they're nothing like the gawkers and brayers in a place like Times Square, but they don't live here, they live in Jersey or Westchester, they're burghers right out of seventeenth-century Amsterdam, they cross Broadway as if they fucking own it, they think they look rakish, they think they're creatures of the night, they have neighbors whom they consider burghers because they don't like driving in New York, because they'd rather stay home (right now, the woman in the fringed pashmina shawl, the one walking arm-in-arm with Cowboy Boots, explodes in laughter, a great smacking hoot of a laugh, a three-martinis laugh, audible for a block or so), while the residents of downtown Manhattan, the ones who survive the days here, walk more modestly, certainly more quietly, more like penitents, because it's almost impossible to maintain a sense of hubris when you live here, you're too constantly confronted by the rampant otherness of others; hubris is surely much more attainable when you've got a house and a lawn and an Audi, when you understand that at the end of the world you'll get a second's more existence because the bomb won't be aimed at you, the shock wave will take you out but you're not anybody's main target, you've removed yourself from the kill zone, no one gets shot where you live, no one gets stabbed by a random psychopath, the biggest threat to your personal, ongoing security is the possibility that the neighbor's son will break in and steal a ~ Michael Cunningham

Martinis are glamorous but also so simple because they only have a few ingredients, and you can really taste the vodka. ~ Stephanie Sigman

Hazen had already begun to mix her a martini. She watched approvingly. "Martinis make everything worthwhile, don't they?" she said, smiling at Strand. ~ Irwin Shaw

Really, can anyone drink several martinis at lunch? ~ Christine Baranski

I think we need a little more rallying around the dumpee. If you were a woman and I'd told you that the third guy in eighteen months had broken up with me, right now we'd be drinking lemon drop martinis and giving each other female empowerment pep talks about how we don't need a man in our lives to feel complete. And then we'd watch The Notebook and drool over Ryan Gosling."
"Sorry, babe. But when they handed out best friends you drew the straw with a penis attached. That means no Ryan Gosling. ~ Julie James

So he stopped at the first of them, a frigid hothouse whose front tipped forward over the street in defiance of gravity, taste, and ordinance; inside, the tender daytime flowers could be seen huddling in family groups beneath a constant, unseen sun, and behind them was the hermetic door to the dark Cactus Room where the shy nocturnal plants, genus cereus, could bloom in privacy at any hour. Vivien, once out of the car, appeared less constrained. She did not have that stiffness so many have on first entering bars, that air of waiting stubbornly for alcohol to loosen them, which so often presages their manner when it comes' time for bed. She was already excited when the martinis came. ~ Douglas Woolf

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to mix the martinis, one to change the light bulb, and one to reminisce about how good the old one was. ~ Christopher Buckley

The brain knows the real secret of seduction, more effective than even music and martinis. Just keep whispering, 'Gee, you are really special' to that sack of water and protein that is a body, and you can get it to do practically anything. ~ Alison Gopnik

Soul, love, joy and natural beauty shines first from within. Make time for quiet reflective moments. Be still and know there is more than just Botox and pink martinis for women over 40. ~ Machel Shull

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
~ Humphrey Bogart

Oh, yeah. A big part of my job is drinking martinis when I work in advertising. ~ Paul W. S. Anderson

It's true,' said Freddie Humbert, 'kids nowadays have got no ability to listen to simple instructions.'
'Here you go, Dad,' said Quent, returning with a tray of drinks. 'Two martinis, one with extra olives, one with no olives, one mineral water, ice and a twist of lime and a jade juice, no fruit. ~ Lauren Child

Aunt Bette." I started squirming toward her voice. "Are you okay?" "No, I'm not okay. We've been kidnapped and Marsh is drinking martinis and probably flirting with the waitress!" she snapped, and it sounded like she too was moving but not in my direction. ~ Kristen Ashley

Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom. ~ Tallulah Bankhead

In Silicon Valley, entrepreneurs and their backers got drunk on the overflowing optimism and abundant venture capital and threw a two-year-long party. Capital was cheap, opportunities seemed limitless, and pineapple-infused-vodka martinis were everywhere. ~ Brad Stone

I suppose there must be idiots who dream of signing deals with publishers while fully intending to drink martinis in cool bars or ride around on skateboards. But the actual writers I know are experts in neurotic self-torture. Every page of writing is the result of a thousand tiny decisions and desperate acts of will. ~ Helen Garner

See you just don't understand women the way I do J.D. They want it all: a career apple martinis financial independence great shoes but at the same time - and this they'll never admit - they are drawn to patriarchal men who are dominant and controlling. That's the essence of the Darcy complex. He may be an asshole but he's an asshole that gets the girl in the end. ~ Julie James

When a horse learns to buy martinis, I'll learn to like horses. ~ Steve McQueen

The martinis came, not in little glasses but big as bird baths with twists of lemon peel. The first taste bit like a vampire bat, made its little anesthesia, and after that the drink mellowed and toward the bottom turned downright good. ~ John Steinbeck

I watched a lot of the James Bond movies, certainly, both the old ones and the reboot with Daniel Craig. I watched a lot of the Matt Helm films with Dean Martin, which just have these great car scenes where it's rear-projected, and they just start making martinis out of a bar in the glove compartment. ~ Adam Reed

Life was about to take her away from here. Fro the place where she'd become herself. This sold little village that never changed but helped its inhabitants to change. She's arrived straight from art college full of avant-garde ideas, wearing shades of gray and seeing the world in black and white. So sure of herself. But here, in the middle of nowhere, she'd discovered color. And nuance. She'd learned this from the villagers, who'd been generous enough to lend her their souls to paint. Not as perfect human beings, but as flawed, struggling men and women. Filled with fear and uncertainty and, in at least one case, martinis. ~ Louise Penny

A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini! ~ Henny Youngman

Never more then two, I told her once. I repeat an old joke about why martinis are like a women's breasts; one is never enough and three are too many ~ Charles Dubow

The first of the telegrams arrived shortly after noon, and Jeeves brought it in with the before-luncheon snifter. It was from Aunt Dahlia, operating from Market Snodsbury, a small town of sorts a mile or two along the main road as it leaves her country seat.
It ran as follows:

Come at once. Travers.

And when I say it puzzled me like the dickens, I am understating it, if anything. As mysterious a communication, I considered, as was ever flashed over the wires. I studied it in a profound reverie for the best part of two dry Martinis and a dividend. I read it backwards. I read it forwards. As a matter of fact, I have a sort of recollection of even smelling it. But it still baffled me. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

You don't want to get me started about apple martinis and the affect they have on my lovemaking. I might just throw you down and make some love to you right here and now. ~ Rick Fox

ll we want is to succumb to a single kiss
that will contain us like a marathon
with no finish line, and if so, that we land
like newspapers before sunrise, halcyon
mornings arrived like blue martinis. I am
learning the steps to a foreign song: her mind was torpedo, and her body was storm,
a kind of Wow. All we want is a metropolis
of Sundays, an empire of hand-holding
and park benches? She says, "Leave it all up to me. ~ Major Jackson

Our house is so difficult to find that people always arrive late, which means that by the time we go into dinner, I've had so many dry Martinis I'm practically under the piano, and it no longer seems to matter that I haven't put the potatoes on. ~ Jilly Cooper

The idea of having several days, never mind weeks or months, to relocate to a climate that was better for your lungs or gout, or to have an extra home in which to practice bridge strategies and indolence, was unimaginable to all but the most wealthy Bostonians, who were inbred and warped. Their idea of vacation was to go north, to a cold dark place, where they would not speak to their families but instead sit in silence, drink martinis, looking out over bodies of water that you would never, EVER go into. Because the waters of Maine are made of hate and want to kill you. ~ John Hodgman

One of the classic settings in fiction, a little world as reassuring as imperial St Petersburg or Victorian London, is suburban Connecticut in the 1950s. If you close your eyes, you can picture autumn leaves drifting down on quiet streets, you can see commuters in fedoras streaming off the platforms of the New Haven Line, you can hear the tinkle of the evening's first pitcher of martinis; and hear the ugly fights then, after midnight; and smell the desperate or despairing sex.
(Introduction to "The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit") ~ Jonathan Franzen

I want to be a superhero. Maybe I'll be a bartending superhero who shakes martinis to save the world. ~ Shanola Hampton

I had to give up martinis - I enjoyed them too much. ~ Brett Somers

And because when you die, the world dies, too, at least for you, they assume the world will die for everybody. It's a failure of imagination, in a way - an inability to conceive of the universe without you in it. That's why old people get apocalyptic: they're facing apocalypse, and that part, the private apocalypse, is real. So the closer their personal oblivion gets, the more certain geriatrics project impending doom on their surroundings. Also, there's almost a spitefulness, sometimes. I swear, for some of these bilious Chicken Littles, imminent Armageddon isn't a fear but a fantasy. Like they want the entire planet to implode into a giant black hole. Because if they can't have their martinis on the porch anymore then nobody else should get to sip one, either. ~ Lionel Shriver

One martini is just right. Two martinis are too many. Three martinis are never enough. ~ M.F.K. Fisher

Now all the criminals in their suits and ties are free to drink martinis and watch the sunrise ~ Bob Dylan

What did I want to do with myself? I wanted to do this! I wanted to drink martinis with showgirls, and listen to Broadway business talk, and eavesdrop on the gossip of boys who looked like girls! I wanted to hear about people's big sex lives! ~ Elizabeth Gilbert