Mackenzi Lee Quotes

I do not want to know things, I want to understand things. I want to answer every question ever posed me. I want to leave no room for anyone to doubt me. ~ Mackenzi Lee

And then Jesus says, 'Well, watch this' - "
"Really? Well, watch this?"
"That's biblical language."
"If your Bible is written by Henry Montague. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Perspective is a goddam son of a bitch ~ Mackenzi Lee

I wish I could make your world want you," Theo said.

"Yours too," Loki replied. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Flanked as they are by busts of the governors before them and loomed over by all those names along the walls, I feel generations of men who have kept women from their schools staring me down. Men like this never die - they're chiseled in marble and erected in these halls. ~ Mackenzi Lee

...I had believed she believed it, and I believed that someday I might could, too, when I were grown enough, but now, kneeling on the hard floors of the boardinghouse with Eliza praying for all of us, I can't feel it. I feel propped up -- on Mam's faith, on Eliza's, on all the women in this room. But all I feel is hollowed out and empty, like someone's scraped their fingernails along the inside of my heart. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Ladies haven't the luxury of being squeamish about blood. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Come on." He snuffles his face into my shoulder, which I think he's trying to disguise as affection when really he's using me as a towel. ~ Mackenzi Lee

The distance is great, and nothing is so hard to find as something that no one has yet found. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Reading in excess causes the female brain to shrink. ~ Mackenzi Lee

So long as you don't go falling in love with me." I don't know why I say it. Call it battlements around my helpless heart. Percy looks away from me fast, shoulders curling up. It almost looks like a flinch. But then he says, "I'll try my best." He ~ Mackenzi Lee

There are many things that make this book fiction, but the roles women play within it are not. The women of the eighteenth century were met with opposition. They had to fight endlessly. Their work was silenced, their contributions ignored, and many of their stories are forgotten today.
Nevertheless, they persisted. ~ Mackenzi Lee

It would be so much easier if I did not want to know everything so badly. If I did not want so badly to be reliant upon no soul by myself. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I think I want a house of my own," I start, the words a discovery as they leave my mouth. "Something small, so I don't have much housework, but enough room for a proper library. I want a lot of books. And I wouldn't mind a good old dog to walk with me. And a bakery I go to every morning where they know my name. ~ Mackenzi Lee

What we once were, that you are now. What we are now, soon you shall be. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I want to know everything about my own self and never to have to rely on someone else to tell me the way I work. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Have you ever thought," she countered, "that maybe Oliver only acts like a monster because you treat him like one? ~ Mackenzi Lee

Spine bones as lucky charms."
"Vertebrae," I say.
"What?"
"The spine bones," I reply, my eyes still on the creature. "They're called vertebrae."
"Thank you, but that's not what I'm concerned about right now."
"If you're going to say something, at least say it right. ~ Mackenzi Lee

You're my best mate, Monty," he says suddenly. "And I don't want to ruin that. Especially not now. I didn't tell you I was ill because I didn't want to scare you away, and if I didn't have you - if I hadn't had you for these past few years, I think I'd have lost my mind. So if things can't be the same between us, can they at least not be terrible? You're not permitted to be strange and uncomfortable around me now."
"So long as you don't go falling in love with me." I don't know why I say it. Call it battlements around my helpless heart.
Percy looks away from me fast, shoulders curling up. It almost looks like a flinch. But then he says, "I'll try my best. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Shout at me," I want to tell him. "Fight back, because I deserve it." I deserve to be fed all the ways I've made him feel unwanted, slapped with my own selfishness. But he's Percy, so he doesn't say another cruel word. Even at his worst, he's so much better than me. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Poor Monty, with a father who beats you until you bleed.
Poor Monty, with a fortune to inherit and an estate to run.
Poor Monty, who's useless and embarrassing.
"Good night," Percy says, then rolls over, away from me.
Poor Monty, in love with your best friend. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Is he afraid of me?"
Frigga smiled. "Such heavy questions."
"They shouldn't be. ~ Mackenzi Lee

That hat is idiotic."
"I know," he says. "Percy made it for me."
"I didn't know Percy knew how to knit."
"He doesn't," Monty replies, and the brim of the hat falls in front of his eyes as though in emphasis. ~ Mackenzi Lee

So, everything seemed to be going great in Christina's court, where "Single Ladies" played on repeat and there were free JSTOR credentials for all. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I have spent so long building up my fortress and learning to tend it all myself, because if I didn't feel I needed anyone, then I wouldn't miss them if they weren't there. I couldn't be neglected if I was everything to myself. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Lakshmibai was forced to abandon Jhansi, but she left it the same way she fought for it– on horseback, with her song strapped to her back. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Hollow yourself or the fear eats you alive. ~ Mackenzi Lee

It is impossible to explain how you can love someone so much that's difficult to be around him". ~ Mackenzi Lee

I'm learning there is no one way for life to be lived, no one way to be strong or brave or kind or good. Rather there are many people doing the best they can with their heart they are given and the hand they are dealt. ~ Mackenzi Lee

For a delirious moment, I am possessed by the insanity the poets hath called love, and it makes me want to reach forward and take both those hands in mine. ~ Mackenzi Lee

There´s nothing good about watching another man claim your ship because your skin is to dark to do it yourself. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Everyone falls in immediate, passionate love with you."
"They can hardly be blamed. I'd fall in love with me, if I met me. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Be a little less honest and a little more tactful. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Then maybe I should have said it to you sooner--you needn't hide around us. I'm sorry you ever felt you had to. And that the world makes you feel as though you have to. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Perhaps the future was only inevitable once you began to shape all your actions to fit it. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I love you, but I don't know how to help you. I still don't! I'm an emotional delinquent and I say wrong things all the time, but I want to be better for you. I promise that. It doesn't matter to me that you're ill and it doesn't matter if I have to give up everything, because you're worth it. You're worth it all because you are magnificent, you are. Magnificent and gorgeous and brilliant and kind and good and I just . . . love you, Percy. I love you so damn much. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Yes, we have quite literally followed you to the end of the earth," Monty replied, "And there was only mild complaining ~ Mackenzi Lee

I look down at his hand and laugh without quite knowing why. "You deserve some sort of
reward for putting up with me."
"You're my reward."
"Shit reward I am."
"Why do you think everyone needs some sort of recompense for being around you?" he says,
his voice so gentle I almost start to cry. ~ Mackenzi Lee

He seems like he wants to touch me, but we've both lost any sense of how men who haven't kissed each other do that. He finally taps my knee, open-palmed and short, the way we used to try and hold our hands to candle flames without being burned when we were boys, and I wonder if there will ever again be a day when it doesn't feel as though he might fly to pieces between my hands. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Some men seem to think that if a lady behaves in a way that they consider unbecoming of her sex, they are justified in speaking in a way that is unbecoming of theirs. ~ Mackenzi Lee

There is nothing good about watching another man claim your ship because your skin is too dark to do it yourself," he says, each word a glancing wound. "So in future, you needn't demand apologies on my behalf. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Just thinking about all that blood." I nearly shudder. "Doesn't it make you a bit squeamish?"
"Ladies haven't the luxury of being squeamish about blood," she replies, and Percy and I go fantastically red in unison. ~ Mackenzi Lee

It is remarkable how much courage it takes to kiss someone, even when you are almost certain that person would very mush like to be kissed by you. Doubt will knock you from the sky every time. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I am not weak," Loki said. "I am not your villain, and I am not your fool. I am a protector of my homeland." He thrust his hand in the air. "For Asgard! ~ Mackenzi Lee

He raises an eyebrow, an unmistakable tread carefully, and so of course I put on my heaviest boots and start clomping through the flower gardens. ~ Mackenzi Lee

What's the use of temptations if we don't yield to them? ~ Mackenzi Lee

...We could have given you two some time to yourselves."
I laugh one, short, humorless burst.
"What could I have said, could you vacate the apartments for a while so Percy and I can engage in illicit activities?"
"Not illegal."
"They are where I come from." I shake my head staring down at my feet. "I couldn't have. I've been struck too many times."
"Then maybe I should have said it to you sooner. You needn't hide around us," he says. "I'm sorry you ever felt you had to, and that the world make you feel as though you had to. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Is it contagious?
Does it hurt?
When will you be well again?
Are you going to die?
Are you going to die?
Are you going to die? ~ Mackenzi Lee

Maybe I was panicking. Maybe I am. Because give it a year. Or ten years. Or a life. Because I just don't think I can do it, Perce. I don't think I'm enough for you. And I don't want you to do this big thing - give me this big part of yourself - just to turn around and realize you made a mistake. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I'm caught between wanting to smack the pox patches off this woman's face and to smack Percy because I'm still angry about our kiss. Perhaps I could get them both with a wide swing. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I want to touch him abso-bloody-lutely evrywhere. ~ Mackenzi Lee

In the company of women like this - sharp-edged as raw diamonds but with soft hands and hearts, not strong in spite of anything but powerful because of everything - I feel invincible. Every chink and rut and battering wind has made us tough and brave and impossible to strike down. We are mountains - or perhaps temples, with foundations that could outlast time itself. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Oh yes, am I a sodomite. Well, I've been with lads, so… yes."
She purses her lips, and I wish I hadn't been so forthright. "If you'd stop, Father might not be so rough on you, you know."
"Oh my, thank you for that earth-shattering wisdom. Can't believe I didn't think of that myself. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Somehow nothing's changed, and everything has. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I have lived most of my life as a devotee of the philosophy that a man should not see two sevens in one day ~ Mackenzi Lee

And thank God, because I don't want simple. I do not want easy or small or uncomplicated. I want my life to be messy and ugly and wicked and wild, and I want to feel it all. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Or perhaps that's just me assigning subterranean levels to every goddamn breath he takes. ~ Mackenzi Lee

If the Good Lord didn't want men to play with themselves, we'd have hooks for hands. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Your beauty is not a tax you are required to pay to take up space in this world. ~ Mackenzi Lee

She does not look toward me but rather tosses her scarf showily over her shoulder and makes her way to the desk. The ruffles of yet another ridiculous dress whisper against the floor behind her.

Not ridiculous, I correct myself. Softness can be an armor, even if it isn't my armor. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Here Lies Constatijn, slain by the first penis he saw that wasn't his own. ~ Mackenzi Lee

„Would you still find me handsome if I broke my teeth on Greek pastries?"
"Depends which teeth. ~ Mackenzi Lee

We're all monsters. We're all careless and cruel in the end. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Perspective is a god damn son of a bitch. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Then I brace my feet against the casements and
rescue myself. ~ Mackenzi Lee

She was the same person I had known. Had always known. Just a version that was more completely her. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I've always been of the mind that subtlety is a waste of time. Fortune favors the flirtatious. ~ Mackenzi Lee

The great tragic love story of Percy and me is neither great nor truly a love story, and is tragic only for its single-sidedness. It is also not an epic monolith that has plagued me since boyhood, as might be expected. Rather, it is simply the tale of how two people can be important to each other their whole lives, and then, one morning, quite without meaning to, one of them wakes to find that importance has been magnified into a sudden and intense desire to put his tongue in the other's mouth.
A long, slow slide, then a sudden impact. ~ Mackenzi Lee

The colours of the universe are there because of the existence of womankind. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I'm not sure anyone is all good when you break us down to raw materials," I say.

"Max is all good."

"Max is a dog."

"I don't see how that changes anything. He's a good dog. ~ Mackenzi Lee

It took several thousand miles for me to begin believing that I am better than the worst things I've done. But I'm starting. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Which is how I come to be running through the gardens of the Palace of Versailles, dressed only as Nature intended. ~ Mackenzi Lee

You know," Loki said, toeing a volume that had tumbled from the pile. "You'd have more room if you kept fewer books."
Theo hung his cane on the edge of the grate beside the small fire place and began to stoke the ashes. "I'd rather have books than space. ~ Mackenzi Lee

You're hopeless," he says, and it is so strange and horrible and utterly lovely how the way that he's looking at me makes me want to both back away and throw myself upon him. It hurts like a sudden light striking your eyes in the dead of night. ~ Mackenzi Lee

...you're not the first I've interrupted by mistake. You've not shocked me, and you've not surprised me either."
I look up at him too quickly, and my vision swims. He puts a steadying hand on my shoulder.
"If you thought I was ignorant as to the nature of your relationship with Mr. Newton, you may need to reexamine your concept of appropriate of physical fondness between friends."
I nod, trying to pretend its fine when really my muscles are clenched, and I'm fighting the urge to run. I don't want to have this conversation. I don't know where it's going, but my instincts tell me to scoot away from it. I can feel my shoulders rise, and perhaps he notices for he lets his his hands fall away, and instead, folds them in his lap.
Perhaps its only in my own mind, but it feels like a deliberate gesture, as though he's putting his hands away to show he won't raise them against me.
"We aren't that obvious," I say, and when Scipio gives me a pointed look I add," I know plenty of lads who are fond without being unchaste.
"But its clear you're not those lads."
I'm not sure he hears the way my breath hitches for he quickly adds, "which is fine. Who gives a fig for chastity anyways."
He laughs at his own joke, glancing over at me like he hoping I might join in. I wonder suddenly if this is what it's meant to be like with a father and a son and a first real love. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Pain and ecstasy live close-knit in my heart. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I had kissed my fair share of lads who had only used me as a counterpoint to their own virtue. My primary contribution to our circles back home had been making everyone else feel grounded and well-behaved in comparison. ~ Mackenzi Lee

We're not courting trouble," I say. "Flirting with it, at most. ~ Mackenzi Lee

We feel like changeling versions of ourselves lying here, brittle likenesses doing a mimic of the way they have seen us behave before. ~ Mackenzi Lee

In their poor imitation of French fashion, they look like pastries in a bakery window at the end of the day, trying a bit too hard to be beautiful as they wilt. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Not a man is going to protect me, because this is a woman's fight, and we are going to protect ourselves! ~ Mackenzi Lee

Theo looked away first, turning back to the tea-kettle. The firelight pocked and hollowed his face. 'Do you have a preference? Between men and women?'
'I feel equally comfortable as either.'
'No, I don't mean . . . not all of us can change our gender at will.'
'I don't change my gender. I exist as both.'
'You're not . . . That doesn't make sense.'
'It does to me. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Loki was convinced everyone loathed the feasts but no one dared say so for fear of appearing small-minded. Being quite confident of the size of his mind-large-and his ability to walk in heels, he was comfortable saying it. ~ Mackenzi Lee

We're not courting trouble. Flirting with it, at most. (Monty in The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue) ~ Mackenzi Lee

The stars dust gold leafing on his skin. And we are looking at each other, just looking, and I swear there are whole lifetimes lived in those small, shared moments. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Oh no."
Percy looks sideways at me. "Oh no what?"
I swallow. "I'd first like it to be noted that I am most certainly not a smuggler."
"Monty..." he says, my name sopping with dread.
"And," I continue overtop him, "I'd like you to both remember just how much you adore me and how dull and gloomy your lives would be without me in them."
"What did you do? ~ Mackenzi Lee

You're either good, or you're clever. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Somehow, letting our feelings out into the light had both eased so many of my fears and created an entirely new set that kept sleep at bay. ~ Mackenzi Lee

And you should not be frightened of the darkness, but instead be sure that the most frightening thing in it is you. ~ Mackenzi Lee

We are not broken things, neither of us. We are cracked pottery mended with laquer and flakes of gold, whole as we are, complete unto each other. Complete and worthy and so very loved. ~ Mackenzi Lee

The bricks tear at my coat like briars as I pull his hips to mine so I can feel him going stiff. ~ Mackenzi Lee

In the east," she says after a time, her gaze still downcast, "there is a tradition known as kintsukuroi. It is the practice of mending broken ceramic pottery using lacquer dusted with gold and silver and other precious metals. It is meant to symbolize that things can be more beautiful for having been broken."
"Why are you telling me this?" I ask.
At last she looks at me. Her irises are polished obsidian in the moonlight. "Because I want you to know," she says, "that there is life after survival. ~ Mackenzi Lee

You're very clever."
"I have my moments."
"Many of them. You are made of moments. ~ Mackenzi Lee

We look at each other. The city boils around us. I want to strike flint and set it aflame. Burn everything from the sky down and start the world over. ~ Mackenzi Lee

I'm not lonely."
"I didn't think I was either."
I shrug so my cloak falls closed in front of me. "Do you want me to marry Mr. Doyle because you think I need a man to protect me? Or complete me? I'll pass on that, thank you very much."
"No," he says. "I just wish you had someone cheering for you all the time, because you deserve it. ~ Mackenzi Lee

It is not a failure to readjust my sails to fit the waters I find myself in. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Because women don't have to be men's equals to be considered contenders; they have to be better. That's the lie of it all. You have to be better to prove yourself worthy of being equal. ~ Mackenzi Lee

My head's higher than his, but we're close enough that I can see the freckles beneath his eyes. If I had to pick a favorite part of Percy's face - which would be impossible, really, but if held at gunpoint and forced to make a selection - it would be that small star-map across his skin. A part of him it feels as though no one else but me is ever close enough to see. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Returning to a place you once knew as well as your own shadow isn't the same as never leaving at all. ~ Mackenzi Lee

You deserve to be here. You deserve to exist. You deserve to take up space in this world of men. ~ Mackenzi Lee