Crime Fiction Satire Jukebox Quotes

She was all slump and sag her spirit withering like a tuckering weed shambling for a way out ~ Saira Viola

Reality Tv had become the preferred drug of choice for the George Clooney obsessed housewives strung out on empty promises and splintered dreams ~ Saira Viola

We're all prostitutes sir we're all selling ourselves for something ~ Saira Viola

Kara knew je only recognised t and a on a string and he was nothing more than a sleazy pupeeter ~ Saira Viola

He has the memory of a convict, the balls of a fireman, and the eyesight of a housebreaker. When there is crime to fight, Landsman tears around Sitka like a man with his pant leg caught on a rocket. It's like there's a film score playing behind him, heavy on the castanets. The problem comes in the hours when he isn't working, when his thoughts start blowing out the open window of his brain like pages from the blotter. Sometimes it takes a heavy paperweight to pin them down. ~ Michael Chabon

Eric, you need to look at the whole picture," the PM said. "You look at the jobless as a huge pile of scrap and you're looking for what can be recycled. That's good. That's your job. But what you don't realise is that this pile of scrap itself serves a purpose. I need my zeros, Eric. They put fear in people; fear of crime and terrorism. They are a stark reminder to the stakeholders that what they despise today, they may end up joining tomorrow. It keeps them obedient. Remember that! ~ Mark Cantrell

Because I want to have sex with him
and because that's sinful
I'm blushing and flushing furiously under his scrutinizing scrutiny. ~ Jess C. Scott

The NRA is an outdated special interest group. The Association's membership does not have the best interests of our students or the safety of our schools in mind. Its' influence must be diminished and ultimately destroyed. The NRA has our fallen friends' blood on its hands. ~ Mark M. Bello

Life's unpredictable patterns had a strange way of forming a connected web. ~ D.A. Pupa

I was trying to have an insight, and all I could think of was that I'd backed myself into a corner, and the corner was me. ~ John Welter

If a buyer is having trouble getting a gun in Michigan, he or she just travels to Ohio or Indiana or Illinois. You know what I mean?"
~ Mark M. Bello

So much of contemporary crime fiction is painful to read and obsessed with violence, particularly against women, and I can't read that. ~ Donna Leon

Surprised huh, thought you had me back in prison didn't you? To answer your question what keeps me alive is my drive, my drive to kill you! I have nothing, but hate for you and your family. It will be my pleasure taking you out. I don't care about power, plutonium or even being rich. None of that matters to me. I only care about taking you out. Even if I die I want to be the one who is called the killer of Angel Medina! There's no where for you to go. Now we will truly see who is better! Come on put up you hands and prepare for your final battle of your life! - Orlando from Framed: The Second Book of the Thousand Years War ~ Angel Ramon Medina

Human Millipede 6 was the highest-grossing movie of the summer and returned Nicholas Cage to Oscar-winning status. ~ C.Z. Hazard

Listen you little turd, don't tell me my business. It's not worth the risk," the Old Man snarled.
"But Green ... Yikes, that stings! ~ Judy Byington

Get a load of this, Frank." Gerald Peyton's pause set off his pronouncement. "She is expecting to get a wedding ring."
"That's understandable," I said, unsure how he could afford a ring on what our firm cleared. Diamond rings - more sold in December than in any other month of the year - went for a cool grand per karat. Weeks ago, I'd priced them - again - for my domestic situation. "What seems to be the problem?"
"That's a big leap for me to make."
"I expect you'll make it with room to spare. ~ Ed Lynskey

Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex. ~ Norm MacDonald

You'll be very close to him when you shoot him. So shove the pistol in his face and pull the trigger instantly."

Ingrid aka 'Alis K'
The Informer ~ Steen Langstrup

There are criminals everywhere these days, you know. One might end up missing the police! Who would have thought that possible?
The Maid
The Informer by Steen Langtrup ~ Steen Langstrup

Jennifer's eyes begin to water again. "Don't let anything bad happen to him, Dr. Sampson. My husband is a famous lawyer. He sues doctors when they screw up."
"Jennifer!" Zack exclaims, embarrassed. ~ Mark M. Bello

Rage and despair shook her for minutes or hours. She was unaware of the passage of time. Finally spent, she retreated inward and collapsed onto the floor in a fetal position, the letter in shreds around her. The room had grown dark. Like a gentle snowfall, the cold mantle of an unbearable silence descended. ~ V.S. Kemanis

Yes, 1960's North American sitcoms have led me to study the United States 1920's and 1930's crime bosses - QET Jenkins ~ Kim Welsman

With crime fiction, you have to write a half-dozen before they catch on. ~ John Banville

It brings me peace to know that it all began with crime fiction as a child, and that it is there, after a thousand detours, that I have landed again. As a child I found peace in crime novels, and it is with them that I find peace today. There has been some turbulence along the way, but I wouldn't have avoided any of it. I wouldn't have reached the place I have without all of it happening. ~ Sara Blaedel

the influence of organised crime reaches into the economy, our politics and everyday life- dongri to dubai ~ S. Hussain Zaidi

When it came to watching television, Ted was ambidextrous. ~ Judy Penz Sheluk

The majority of things in life are about picking your battles. You'll learn that too. And that will never be clearer than when you're at IKEA. You'd have to visit a Danish vacation village after two weeks of pouring rain and no beer to come across as many couples arguing as you'll hear in the IKEA section for changeable sofa covers on any given Tuesday. People take this whole interior design thing really seriously these days. It's become a national pastime to over interpret the symbolism of the fact that "he wants frosted glass, that just proves he never listens to my FEELINGS." "Ahhhhh! She wants beech veneer. Do you hear me? Beech veneer! Sometimes, it feels like I've woken up next to a stranger!" That's how it is, every single time you go there. And I'm not going to lecture you, but if there's just one thing I can get across then let it be this: no one has ever, in the history of the world, had an argument in IKEA that really is about IKEA. People can say whatever they life, but when a couple who has been married for ten years walks around the bookshelves section calling one another words normally only used by alcoholic crime fiction detectives, they might be arguing about a number of things, but trust me: cupboard doors is not one of them. Believe me. You're a Backman. Regardless of how many shortcomings the person you fall in love with might have, I can guarantee that you still come out on top of that bargain. So find someone who doesn't love you for the person you are, ~ Fredrik Backman

Our love must be stronger than their hate. ~ Mark M. Bello

From Zachary Blake? Not a chance in hell. All his cases are high-profile. And these days, he's got a Midas touch. Every case he touches turns to gold. Blake is on a personal crusade for civil justice and safety - truth, justice, and the American way, don't you know? Guns are an excellent target issue for someone like him. ~ Mark M. Bello

Kay could see how Michael stood to receive their homage. He reminded her of statues in Rome, statues of those Roman emperors of antiquity, who, by divine right, held the power of life and death over their fellow men. One hand was on his hip, the profile of his face showed a cold proud power, his body was carelessly, arrogantly at ease, weight resting on one foot slightly behind the other. The caporegimes stood before him. In that moment Kay knew that everything Connie had accused Michael of was true. She went back into the kitchen and wept. ~ Mario Puzo

Fuck!" he shouts. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"
"I'm not too fucking fond of loud noises, Bruno. Maybe it'd be a good idea if you backed up to the curb and got your insurance papers ready. We wouldn't want the police to get involved, would we?"
Conversation between Bruno Hanson and George Hanson
In The Shadow of Sadd. ~ Steen Langstrup

Gods, I love this place," Locke said, drumming his fingers against his thighs. "Sometimes I think this whole city was put here simply because the gods must adore crime. Pickpockets rob the common folk, merchants rob anyone they can dupe, Capa Barsavi robs the robbers and the common folk, the lesser nobles rob nearly everyone, and Duke Nicovante occasionally runs off with his army and robs the shit out of Tal Verarr or Jerem, not to mention what he does to his own nobles and his common folk. ~ Scott Lynch

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense. - Sixth Amendment, United States Constitution ~ Yasmin Tirado-Chiodini

The policemen had clearly been there all morning: four big white tea mugs from the canteen were drained and drip-stained, red-and-gold wrappers from caramel log biscuits were folded into interesting shapes on one side of the table, rolled up into tight little balls on the other. ~ Denise Mina

These are not red or blue issues - they are the human rights issues of our generation. We are here begging for our lives. If today's political officeholders cannot accomplish real change on guns and gun issues, we will vote together on these issues in the next election and elect their successors . . . ~ Mark M. Bello

As one climbs up the ladders in society, one starts feeling more and more like an owner, less like a member of it. ~ B. Barmanbek

I think the shooter is Kevin Burns. I know him pretty well. Maybe I can talk him down."
"Are you nuts? He's crazy. Everyone knows he's a lunatic. No one can talk him down. Get out of there!"
"I can't sit around and do nothing. I have to do something. Remember what Mom and Dad told us after Father Gerry? If you have a chance to save or protect innocent people, you have to make that sacrifice. I won't let another predator get the best of me."
"That's not what they meant, you idiot! Get the hell out of there and let the police handle it. I'm sure they're on their way!"
"If anything happens to me, I want you to know you're the best little brother a guy could hope for, squirt. Take care. I love you."
"I love you too. Please don't do anything stupid."
"We're going to get out of this together. Understand? We're best brothers, forever."
"Forever, bro . . . ~ Mark M. Bello

Moriston House is really quite beautiful. No wonder everyone wants to be murdered here.
--Roberta "Bobbie" Aldridge ~ Jennifer A. Girardin

She was a cute as a washtub. ~ Raymond Chandler

No sun cream or condoms, just in case you're looking at the lady-boys. There's plenty of AIDS lingering about and every STD you can imagine. ~ Simon Palmer

Why do Second Amendment advocates assume every time a well-meaning legislator suggests common-sense gun control legislation, politicians must be coming for our guns? ~ Mark M. Bello

It's funny how you take things like electricity for granted. You hit the button that turns everything on and it just comes on. You get used to that and it just works every single time. So what happens when it suddenly doesn't? things very well could get messy. ~ Robin Burks

Just the night before, a puma's howl had set a chill at my spine and, man, life didn't get any richer than that. ~ Ed Lynskey

God don't give out certain. ~ Jeffery Deaver

It seemed the heavens themselves conspired to cover up our crime. ~ Jenny Lloyd

How does a mentally challenged eighteen-year-old obtain an AK 47 and a Lugar? We don't need to disarm America to prevent school shootings. We need only common sense. ~ Mark M. Bello

If you live your life with passion, every second will become an adventure. ~ Marie Guillaume

There was a ringing in his ears, like a dead phone line that he couldn't hang up on. ~ Mark Capell

Nobody will ever pry the guns out of the hands of these Second Amendment American idiots. And if they do, God bless them. Only criminals will have weapons. ~ Mark M. Bello