Craigslist Quotes

I am committed to doing customer service for Craigslist for the rest of my life. The exit strategy is death. ~ Craig Newmark

To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here's mine: Free TV with purchase of potato chips and couch. ~ Jarod Kintz

Those very same metadata are contained in millions of photographs posted to sale and auction sites such as Craigslist and eBay. For example, a photograph of a diamond ring or an iPad posted on Craigslist might have embedded with it the precise location of your home where the photograph was taken. ~ Marc Goodman

EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER ONE
MY LIFE ON CRAIGSLIST

Stars and Cards Never Lie

Date: 2011-04-1, 9:17PM EST

Reply to: sev-rgddta-26664852@craigslist.org

Life and the economy beating you down? The accuracy of the Rider Waite Tarot cards and my Astrology consultations will amaze you. The insight you'll gain from these readings will be a fantastic catalyst for spiritual growth and personal advancement. Available by phone and skype. Alternative decks and house calls can be arranged upon request.

•Location: New York City, MANHATTAN
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Chapter 1
Four Cookies and a Funeral



Yesterday I went on Craigslist and hired a Tarot reader to tell me whether I was in any danger of losing my job. I wasn't really worried because last week, an astrologer I'd also found on Craigslist, had told me there was no major movement in the sixth house, which is the area of my chart that governs work. But just in case, I met with the Tarot card reader who told me everything was going to be okay.
Today I got canned. ~ Alexandra Ares

Despite Russia's move to raise interest rates this week, the value of the ruble has continued to crash. Russia's economy is so bad, Edward Snowden had to put government secrets on Craigslist. ~ Jimmy Fallon

All women love Colin Firth: Mr. Darcy, Mark Darcy, George VI - at this point he could play the Craigslist Killer and people would be like, 'Oh my God, the Craigslist Killer has the most boyish smile! ~ Mindy Kaling

I remember one time I went to Craigslist to find something; that's how bad I wanted it. It was a pair of Raf Simons - this was like 2010. But Raf said he was going to make them for me. ~ ASAP Rocky

Let's be honest, a traditional marketer would not even be close to imagining the integration above - there's too many technical details needed for it to happen. As a result, it could only have come out of the mind of an engineer tasked with the problem of acquiring more users from Craigslist.13 ~ Ryan Holiday

Craigslist is not only gigantic in scale and totally resistant to business cooperation, it is also mostly free. ~ Gary Wolf

Connecting people to fix the world over time is the deepest spiritual value you can have,' Newmark [Craigslist creator] has said. ~ Susan Cain

If you post your used concert tickets on Craigslist and someone actually buys them, you know you've found yourself a time traveler. ~ Nathan Van Coops

The couch and I were what I would describe as frenemies. I loved to hate it. It was too small for my frame. I had tried to tell my wife that fact when we bought it off of Craigslist, but she assured me that it went perfectly with our room decor and it was a good deal. ~ Anna M. Aquino

Call it "the New Year's resolution effect" - it's why gyms that were crowded in January are only half full in July and why so many slightly used guitars are available on Craigslist. So ~ Anders Ericsson

A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He's 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I'm guessing he's really 60 and gay. ~ Bill Maher

I made my first website when I was ten. I flirted using instant messages all throughout high school. I like the Internet. I like cuddling. I like my cell phone. I like awkward eye contact with strangers. I like hearing people's voices. I like parties. I like Craigslist. These things don't seem technologically exclusive to me. ~ Chelsea Martin

Maybe she's made a few friends finally," Lauren hoped aloud. They'd met Jessica through an ad on Craigslist. She happened to have a spare room when Nick and Lauren needed to quickly move from their last apartment. She was nice enough but did little more than go to work and shout at reality TV shows in the living room. ~ Adele Huxley

Jessica planned on having her very last Craigslist date the following night. "I just want to find a guy worth keeping in touch with," she said.

I thought about that. In fact, I thought about everything she'd written me. Everything so many had written me. All the talk of orgasms and lovers. Having many of one and unable to have even one of the other. Especially when it came to lovers -- the inability in both men and women to find that one person, that one partner, who totally "gets" you. No matter what anyone said, they 'all' seemed to want that. ~ Suzy Spencer

I turn on my computer to search Craigslist for apartment listings. The wireless window pops up, and I realize with some regret that all I know about my neighbours is their wireless network names: Krypton, Space balls, Couscous, and Scarlet. From this I can tell little else than that they're fans of Superman, Mel Brooks, Middle Eastern cuisine, and the colour red. I look out my window, wondering whose house is whose and what private food and entertainment consumption occurs in each and how I will never get to know. ~ Jonathan Goldstein

Now the music industry is sort of like a Craigslist venture, right? Where you're making your own records and selling them online. ~ Gus Van Sant

The company's most effective marketing tactic (besides making a great product) would never have been conceived or attempted by a pure marketing team. Instead, the engineers coded a set of tools that made it possible for every member to seamlessly cross-post his or her Airbnb listing on craigslist (because craigslist does not technically "allow" this, it was a fairly ingenious work-around). As a result, Airbnb - a tiny site - suddenly had free distribution on one of the most popular websites in the world. ~ Ryan Holiday

At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in that speech. It was the part of the speech where he was just reading Craigslist personals. ~ Conan O'Brien

Sometimes entire categories of craigslist are rendered nearly unusable by spam. Con artists prowl the listings, paying sellers with fake cashier's checks and luring buyers to share their credit card numbers. ~ Gary Wolf

New Rule: From now on, duct tape must be called what it really is
murder tape. A search of the suspected Craigslist Killer's home yielded a firearm, restraints, and duct tape, or, as we call that here in Hollywood, Phil Spector's earthquake kit. ~ Bill Maher

After months of negotiations, Iran has finally agreed to reduce its nuclear weapons program. Which was great until Putin showed up and said, 'Hi, I'm here about Craigslist ad for nukes.' ~ Jimmy Fallon

They were like an overconstructed novel, each representative of some cul-de-sac of idiolect and stereotype, missing only a handicapped person – No! At Berkeley we say handi capable person – and a Jew and a Hispanic, and an Asian not of the subcontinent, Louis always said. He had once placed a personals ad on Craigslist to recruit for those positions: Diverse social club seeking to make quota requires the services of East Asian, Jew, Hispanic, and handicapable individuals to round out Multicultural Brady Bunch Troupe. All applicants must be visibly identifiable as members of said group. Reformed Jews and ADHDers need not apply. ~ T. Geronimo Johnson

Trends in circulation and advertising - the rise of the Internet, which has made the daily newspaper look slow and unresponsive; the advent of Craigslist, which is wiping out classified advertising-have created a palpable sense of doom. ~ Eric Alterman

I really wanted to find a piano for the farm house. There were so many free pianos on Craigslist, I thought, 'Let's get as many free pianos as we can and stick them all in the barn.' I got eight in a short period of time, only six of which were tunable, but it's still quite funny. ~ Neko Case

Representative Chris Lee was forced to resign after sending a shirtless picture of himself to a woman on Craigslist. On the bright side, he DID surprise his wife for Valentines Day. ~ Conan O'Brien

Skype demonetized long-distance telephony; Craigslist demonetized classified advertising; Napster demonetized the music industry. This list goes on and on. More critically, because demonetization is also deceptive, almost no one within those industries was prepared for such radical change. ~ Peter H. Diamandis

I decide to scope out craigslist to see all the vibrant economic employment opportunities available to me in this depression. Oh, I'm sorry, I mean "recession." No matter how many millions of jobs are lost, how much debt our country accrues, or how many years the stagnation drags on, it's not a depression until the dogmatic media officially declares it to be a depression. It's as if they believe by repeatedly printing or saying economists are afraid the economy will slip back into a recession, they'll fool the masses of unemployed or underemployed into believing that not only are we not in a depression, but we aren't even in a recession. I'm sure the millions of unemployed, freshly graduated college kids who have thousands of dollars of unshakable debt to pay off feel comforted by the empty repetition. ~ Jarod Kintz

Every day the choristers of the social web chirp their advice about openness and trust; craigslist follows none of it, and every day it grows. ~ Gary Wolf

Evelyn was twenty-six, and for the first time in her life, she was seen. Recognized. It wasn't that heads were turning--she wouldn't ask that much--but just for a moment, one man would hold her gaze a little longer than he should. Or a woman's eyes would flick over her dress with jealousy. She could now be a missed connection on Craigslist, a fragment in a song lyric, the inspiration for a girl in a musical. ~ Stephanie Clifford

People who are using it to sell things on Craigslist to holding garage sales - campaigns - the Obama campaign and the Romney campaign both used Square to raise funds. ~ Jack Dorsey

Craigslist does serve as a platform where people help each other for the basics, and also, shows people that the Internet is good for mutual support. I do feel pretty good about that. ~ Craig Newmark

Almost everything on Craigslist paid more than I was making, but my qualifications were sketchy. I had a college degree in liberal arts. That and a dollar could get me a soda. ~ Janet Evanovich

Sending greeting cards to aliens is hardly a new idea. In 2005, Craigslist solicited messages for broadcast to space by a transmitter in Florida, and in 2008, NASA beamed a Beatles song to the North Star (Polaris), on the assumption that any putative Polarians would appreciate the Fab Four's 1960s-genre compositions. ~ Seth Shostak