Si Robertson Quotes

A beaver is about like the ninjas the suckers only work at night and they're hard to find.

I look in the mirror every morning, okay. What is going on here? You know, I just say, 'Look, it's sheer insanity.'

Nap time would become a national pastime. A man needs his beauty rest!

People say, "Look, your book [Tales and Wisdom from Duck Dynasty's Favorite Uncle] is about tall tales." And I said, "No, you don't understand, OK? The book is tall tales, OK, by me. But look, those tall tales are my life, OK? And look, I added some spices in there. That's the five percent. You know the one about the wolves chasing me? The only thing about that - they wasn't wolves, they was coyotes".

You can't teach an old dog new dog new tricks. Now,you can give an old dog new toys. And we've got one here!

Hey, if you want something done right, don't ask me.

Fred Astaire's got nothing on me.

Everything I say is 95% truthful.

I don't know any redneck that's not into fun. That's their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

I'm really a shy person.

A lot of people don't believe there's evil. If there's good in this world, then you're being intellectually dishonest, if you believe there's a good power, you've also got to believe there's an evil power, too. There are physical laws that are in place.

I'm like a fine-tuned race car. You've got to make frequent pit stops when you drink as much tea as I do.

I know all the new phrases: 'cowabunga,' 'radical,' cat's pajamas,' 'duh,' and 'hey, homie don't play that.

What I tell young couples that are getting married is: you're going to have quarrels, and on some things, you're just going to have to agree to disagree. And when you go to bed at night, kiss each other and tell each other that you love each other. Don't go to bed mad. Life is too short. Keep it simple.

My wife asked me about that: "What happened to your beard?" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, "Hey, the right side is shorter than the left." I said, "You gotta be kidding me." So I went in there and looked, and I combed it out and I said, "I don't know, that's just the way it grows."

When I started out in the duck-call business, my college buddies would come in and say, 'Robertson, you have a college degree. What are you doing?' Then they drove away saying, 'What an idiot!' Thirty-five years later, they're saying, 'The sucker's a genius!'

We are the rags to riches story, okay, the Robertson's are. Okay? We had very humble beginnings. Everybody's trying to figure out what, what's behind it, and all the Robertsons say, 'Hey, it's divine intervention.' Me personally, okay, God's gonna take 'Duck Dynasty' where he wants it to go, okay, and to the people that he wants it to go to.

You can't spell squirrel without si, and that's me.

Hey, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Now, you can give an old dog new toys! And, hey, we've got one here.

Everybody thinks I'm the weirdo in the family.

When security comes, every man for himself

Victoria's got her secrets. Hey, so do I!

Hey, I'm like Aretha Franklin, I don't get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!

We killed our own hogs, we killed our own beef, we raised our own vegetables, which Mama canned. We did live off the land.

I'm so dope I'm illegal in 55 states

Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning

First it's pretty tires. Next it's pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you're shaving your beard and wearing capri pants.

Hey, when two beavers walk into the house, the first one always tells the other one, Hey, shut the dam door!

All of my stories are 95 percent truthful.

Conversely, some of the most educated idiots I've ever met have a master's degree or PhD. They couldn't pour urine out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel!

I don't know what a person does that does not have a relationship with God. When he goes to the doctor and the doctors says, 'Hey, you've got less than two months to live and there's nothing we can do for you.' Who do they turn to when you're given something that earth shattering?

When I sign people's stuff, I put down John 3:16 and 17.

Daddy had a farm - cows, pigs, OK, a big garden, OK? We did live off the land, and then we would supplement all that with whatever we could kill or catch. Whether we'd kill squirrels, deer, duck, or caught catfish or brim, that was what went on the table.

Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, 'If you fall asleep at work again we're going to have to let you go'.

I was in my tighty-whities and I never woke up, and I ran over a mile.

I'm always just carrying a Tupperware cup, ever since my mom went to a Tupperware party and got 'em. I've left them strewn all over the U.S. and Europe. I drink iced tea out of them.

The first thing I'd do [as a president] is de-regulate about 90-percent of the things that they've got regulation on, OK, including duck hunting. We're way over-regulated on everything.

The Bible says that you marry for life, okay. It's a lifetime decision.

You can't fix stupid. You can't fix a neutered dog you can't fix a garage door and hey, you can't fix stupid

I was largely drinking to forget where I was. When you're in a place like Vietnam, you get to a point where you don't care any more. You're in a place that's foreign to you, and you know for a fact that many people there hate you and will kill you if they get the chance. It really does something to your mind to know that many of the people living around you don't like you and want you to die.

Hey, doctors have proven that daytime naps improve your memory and help you remember important facts.

I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones ... and a woodpecker, I'll make you a good chicken pot pie.

Vets are close to my heart, okay, and it's not only because I served, okay. It's because of what they go through, okay. A lot of these people have gave their lives, a lot of them have gave their limbs, okay, you know, that's a, that's a, that's a heap, you know.

My father, OK, when we first got old enough to hunt, this was his rule: If you shoot it, you come home and eat it. Otherwise you do not shoot it, OK? You don't just kill something for the sake of killing it, OK? If you kill it, you gotta grill it, so to speak.

I've worn it to church before. Camouflage and the other clothes.

In the military it was camouflage for the desert or the winter. And now it's the duck hunting colors - I think it's "real tree." It's comfortable. It's stuff that's made out of comfortable material, OK, and I'm comfortable in it.

When I go out or to an event, I'll wear blue jeans and a shirt. And sometimes when I go to an event I'll wear camouflage. It depends what kind of mood I'm in.

I'm like an owl ... I don't give a HOOT!

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.

A lot of people say, 'Hey, God doesn't have a sense of humor.' Yes, He does. God has a great sense of humor.

There's a lot of kids who look up to me, and that's humbling. Because being human, I don't want to fail them. But being human, I will. That's why it's so important to have your faith put in something that won't fail you. And that means the Son of God's kingdom.

It ain't gun control we need; it's sin control.

The fans always ask me, 'Is Si that crazy in real life?' and I said, 'No, hey, he tones it down for television.'