Palin Quotes

We know the only fish that goes with the flow is a dead fish. ~ Sarah Palin

You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy; just get ready. ~ David Letterman

The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Political experts say that if Obama keeps insulting Palin, he could lose the election and win a job at MSNBC. ~ Conan O'Brien

When I took my oath of office to serve as your Governor, remember, I swore to steadfastly and doggedly guard the interests of this great state like a grizzly with cubs, as a mother naturally guards her own. Alaska, as a statewide family, we've got to fight for each other, not against and not let external, sensationalized distractions draw us off course. As an exciting year of unpredictable change begins, we, too, have our work cut out for us. And we're all in this together. Just like our musk ox, they circle up to protect their future when they are challenged. We've got to do the same. ~ Sarah Palin

Maybe you bought this book because you love Sarah Palin and you want to find reasons to hate me. We've got that! I use all kinds of elitist words like "impervious" and "torpor," and I think gay people are just as good at watching their kids play hockey as straight people. Maybe ~ Tina Fey

If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane. ~ Bill Maher

A few words about Sarah Palin: She is one of the most fascinating women I have ever met. She crackles with energy like a live electrical wire and on first meeting gets about three inches from your face. ~ Mark McKinnon

Nuclear weaponry, of course, would be the be-all, end-all of just too many people in too many parts of our planet. ~ Sarah Palin

But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies. ~ Sarah Palin

There is barely a country in the world where you will be completely safe. ~ Michael Palin

We have to fight for our freedoms, also, economic and our national security freedoms. ~ Sarah Palin

My biggest objection to Fox News, I say, is not the scaremongering, it's the way it's reshaped the Republican party. It will misrepresent social and economic issues, and promote the more extreme elements of the party, politicians such as Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee, in a way that is hugely detrimental to American politics. (For the record, Rupert Murdoch disagrees, and last year claimed that Fox News "absolutely saved" the Republican party.) "Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing," says Stewart. "I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease. ~ Anonymous

I do have high standards. I look at everything I have done and think, 'Why wasn't that better?' Part of my motivation is from crippling self-doubt - I have got to prove myself wrong. ~ Michael Palin

If the election had turned out differently, I could be the one overseeing the signing of bailout checks and Vice President Biden could be on the road selling his book 'Going Rogaine.' ~ Sarah Palin

Here's why Sarah Palin says she won't be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not running. And I thought, well, that's true, because in 2008 she got Obama elected. ~ David Letterman

My parents have been married forty-two years. I wonder how many of those were happy. ~ Michael Palin

We are truly the land of the great. From the rock shores of ... Hawaii ... to the beautiful sandy beaches of ... Hawaii ... America is our home. ~ Sarah Palin

The human race should just slow down and think about what it is doing. ~ Michael Palin

I will die, but not retire. ~ Michael Palin

There is nothing extreme about ethical veganism.

What is extreme is eating decomposing flesh and animal secretions.

What is extreme is that we regard some animals as members of our family while, at the same time, we stick forks into the corpses of other animals.

What is extreme is thinking that it is morally acceptable to inflict suffering and death on other sentient creatures simply because we enjoy the taste of animal products or because we like the look of clothes made from animals.

What is extreme is that we say that we recognize that "unnecessary" suffering and death cannot be morally justified and then we proceed to engage in exploitation on a daily basis that is completely unnecessary.

What is extreme is pretending to embrace peace while we make violence, suffering, torture and death a daily part of our lives.

What is extreme is that we excoriate people like Michael Vick, Mary Bale and Sarah Palin as villains while we continue to eat, use, and consume animal products.

What is extreme is that we say that we care about animals and that we believe that they are members of the moral community, but we sponsor, support, encourage and promote "happy" meat/dairy labeling schemes. (see 1, 2, 3)

What is extreme is not eating flesh but continuing to consume dairy when there is absolutely no rational distinction between meat and dairy (or other animal products). There is as much suffering and d ~ Gary L. Francione

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me - sports ... basketball. I use it because you're naive if you don't see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket ... and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. ~ Sarah Palin

If somebody's gonna smoke a joint in their house and not do anybody else any harm, then perhaps there are other things that our cops should be looking at to engage in and try to clean up some of the other problems that we have in society that are appropriate for law enforcement to do and not concentrate on such a, relatively speaking, minimal problem that we have in the country. ~ Sarah Palin

My view of Sarah Palin is she is the most dynamic figure maybe in politics, even more in some ways than President Obama, who is a little more scripted than she is. He is great with the teleprompter. ~ Rudy Giuliani

If you had a successful TV show, people wanted to see you live. Promoters had had practice with pop groups, and 'Python' achieved a similar status. We also had lots of rock star fans - George Harrison, Pink Floyd, Robert Plant. Promoters saw that and liked it. ~ Michael Palin

The administration says, then, there are no downsides or upsides to treating terrorists like civilian criminal defendants, but a lot of us would beg to differ. ~ Sarah Palin

This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English. ~ Bill Maher

Polls? Nah ... they're for strippers and cross country skiers. ~ Sarah Palin

Conservatives like Palin and Reagan and others do seem to love the series, but so do people of all political stripes and backgrounds. I speak about the series' "radiant simplicity." ~ Judith Thurman

Americans expect us to go to Washington for the right reason, and not just to mingle with the right people. ~ Sarah Palin

You gotta be think'n Sam Adams, not drink'n Sam Adams ~ Sarah Palin

Our government needs to adopt a pro-market agenda that doesn't pick winners and losers, but it invites competition and it levels the playing field for everyone. ~ Sarah Palin

Candidate Obama promised to fundamentally transform America and that's one promise he has kept. Turning a shining city on a hill into a sinking ship. ~ Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school. ~ Bill Maher

Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.' You think she realizes that nuking Russia might not be good for someone who can see Russia from her house? ~ Bill Maher

I'm not your expert on Africa or animals or whatever. I'm not a travel writer or maker of documentaries. I was someone who doesn't know very much, trying to communicate. ~ Michael Palin

Sometimes even the greatest joys bring challenge, and children with special needs inspire a very, very special love. ~ Sarah Palin

[Sarah] Palin is solidifying her status as a bona fide American cultural heroine. ~ Camille Paglia

They think that, if we were just smart enough, we'd be able to understand their policies. And I so want to tell 'em, and I do tell 'em, Oh, we're plenty smart, oh yeah - we know what's goin' on. And we don't like what's goin' on. And we're not gonna let them tell us to sit down and shut up. ~ Sarah Palin

The people don't elect U.S. presidents, God does. ~ Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin is a figure of fun on the American left, easily lampooned as a know-nothing, gun-toting ex-beauty queen who loves God and the red, white and blue above pretty much anything else except for Todd, her macho husband, who races snowmobiles across the Alaskan tundra. ~ Jay Parini

Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.' ~ David Letterman

Sarah Palin is brilliant. She is a media magnet and a media magnate. She creates headlines and draws crowds wherever she goes, whether it's 98 degrees in the desert of Arizona or below freezing in the snow of Wisconsin. ~ Mark McKinnon

I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars. ~ Michael Palin

There was a time when conservative intellectuals raised the level of American public debate and helped to keep it sober. Those days are gone. As for political judgment, the promotion of Sarah Palin as a possible world leader speaks for itself. The Republican Party and the political right will survive, but the conservative intellectual tradition is already dead. And all of us, even liberals like myself, are poorer for it. ~ Mark Lilla

Earlier today, John McCain was in the news. John McCain gave his first press conference since the election. And he said, 'For a lot of people, Sarah Palin was an energizing factor during the campaign.' Unfortunately for McCain, those people are called Democrats. ~ Conan O'Brien

John McCain has already tapped me ~ Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin embarrasses herself almost immediately upon opening her mouth to speak or upon moving her fingers to send messages to her dull flock. ~ Henry Rollins

They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip. ~ David Letterman

The thought of Sarah Palin as president gives me acid reflux. ~ Christopher Buckley

Common sense tells us that the government's attempts to solve large problems more often create new ones. Common sense also tells us that a top-down, one-size-fits-all plan will not improve the workings of a nationwide health-care system that accounts for one-sixth of our economy. ~ Sarah Palin

When my own son is going through what he goes through, coming back, I can certainly relate with other families, who kind of fill these ramifications of some PTSD. ~ Sarah Palin

We read poems from the Oxford Book of Twentieth Century Verse. Neil insisted on spilling wine over my carpet. ~ Michael Palin

New Rule: Democrats must get in touch with their inner asshole. I refer to the case of Van Jones, the man the Obama administration hired to find jobs for Americans in the new green industries. Seems like a smart thing to do in a recession, but Van Jones got fired because he got caught on tape saying Republicans are assholes. And they call it news!

Now, I know I'm supposed to be all reinjected with yes-we-can-fever after the big health-care speech, and it was a great speech--when Black Elvis gets jiggy with his teleprompter, there is none better. But here's the thing: Muhammad Ali also had a way with words, but it helped enormously that he could also punch guys in the face.

It bothers me that Obama didn't say a word in defense of Jones and basically fired him when Glenn Beck told him to. Just like dropped "end-of-life counseling" from health-care reform because Sarah Palin said it meant "death panels" on her Facebook page. Crazy morons make up things for Obama to do, and he does it.

Same thing with the speech to schools this week, where the president attempted merely to tell children to work hard and wash their hands, and Cracker Nation reacted as if he was trying to hire the Black Panthers to hand out grenades in homeroom. Of course, the White House immediately capitulated. "No students will be forced to view the speech" a White House spokesperson assured a panicked nation. Isn't that like admitting that the president might be doing somethi ~ Bill Maher

Sarah Palin is an heir to the women's movement. She has not been constrained by gender. At no point in her life has she thought, 'I can't do that because I'm a woman.' ~ Gail Collins

That GOP leadership, that establishment, they've got to get their stuff together I love what they believe in, I believe in it too. But they've got to get tough, man. You know what? It's not just the New England Patriots who are dealing with deflated balls right now. ~ Sarah Palin

My husband saw me go through the 2008 campaign cycle. We did it together for Sarah Palin and John McCain. It ended disastrously, and afterward I really wanted to do something different, so I started writing novels, and I imagined a fictional female president in my head. ~ Nicolle Wallace

I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run? Sara Palin, reading off her hand. Did you see that? You saw this? She wrote tax cuts on her hand. A Republican so stupid she has to be reminded of the one thing- Tax cuts! This is like if you saw the coyote's paw and it said Road Runner. ~ Bill Maher

Folks, this government isn't too big to fail, it's too big to succeed. ~ Sarah Palin

In her new book, Sarah Palin says she once gave up chocolate for an entire year just to prove she could do it. Still think she's not qualified to be President? ~ Jimmy Fallon

We tend to prefer candidates that don't talk about us one way in Scranton and another way in San Francisco. ~ Sarah Palin

I'm very, very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing ... any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that. ~ Sarah Palin

I always wanted to be an explorer, but - it seemed I was doomed to be nothing more than a very silly person. ~ Michael Palin

John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah Palin is already driving McCain around to look at assisted living facilities. ~ Jay Leno

I had the privilege of living most of my life in a small town. ~ Sarah Palin

We're red, white and blue, and President Obama, we are through with you. ~ Sarah Palin

In Sarah Palin's new book, she says when she first laid eyes on her future husband, she said out loud, 'Thank you, God,' which is the same thing the Democrats said when they first laid eyes on Sarah Palin. ~ Conan O'Brien

Up here in Alaska we're sitting on billions of barrels of oil. We're sitting on hundreds of trillions of cubic feet of natural gas onshore and offshore. And it seems to be only the Republicans who understand that companies should be competing for the right to tap those resources, and get that energy source flowing into these hungry markets so that we will be less reliant on foreign sources of energy. In a volatile world, relying on foreign regimes that are not friendly to Americans, asking them to ramp up resource production for our benefit, that's nonsensical. ~ Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin appears to have no testable core conviction except the belief (which none of her defenders denies that she holds, or at least has held and not yet repudiated) that the end of days and the Second Coming will occur in her lifetime. This completes the already strong case for allowing her to pass the rest of her natural life span as a private citizen. ~ Christopher Hitchens

When I read profiles of myself, I sometimes think: 'I have spent my whole life struggling to understand my motivations and impulses, and I've never quite sorted them out.' ~ Michael Palin

Buck up or stay in the truck. ~ Sarah Palin

What people don't understand about Sarah Palin is that she is a rancher's wife. From Alberta down to Texas I've known women like that: good common sense, bright and vilified by city people. ~ Robert Duvall

When I was at 'SNL,' I would constantly get in arguments, 'Why aren't we more political? We're not going after Bush.' Then look what happened - that Sarah Palin season, they were on fire. It was about something. ~ Adam McKay

I wasn't the only one that saw Sarah Palin vacillate between glorious highs on the campaign trail - and, you know, while she was speaking and at the convention - to really troubling lows when she seemed stumped in interviews. ~ Nicolle Wallace

A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made. ~ Sarah Palin

Americans have gotten to know Sarah Palin. They know that she's a role model to women and other - and reformers all over America. She's a reformer. ~ John McCain

The New Oxford Dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's word 'refudiate' to be the 2010 Word of the Year. Palin was honored and said she would do her best to 'dismangle' the English language. ~ Conan O'Brien

Sarah Palin, part-time Governor of Alaska, is angry because Michele Obama is encouraging kids to eat healthy. Sarah Palin believes the government shouldn't tell us what to do. Sarah Palin believes she should tell us what to do. ~ David Letterman

Even though I don't agree with either Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann on virtually anything, I do think the unique scrutiny - because of their gender and highlighting the potential conflict between them is a product of the media's desire for juicy storylines. I think it's inappropriate. ~ Debbie Wasserman Schultz

John McCain from the very beginning has been unflinchingly loyal to Sarah Palin. He has never thrown her under the bus. He has never conceded it was a bad decision to pick her. He has never ever said a bad word against her. ~ Rachel Maddow

A French newspaper accidentally ran a picture of Amy and me from the Katie Couric sketch thinking it was a picture of Couric and Palin. Although I think that had less to do with the "power of satire" and more to do with the fact that to the French, we are all indistinguishable fat dough balls. ~ Tina Fey

I want people to know there is more to Somalia than looting and piracy. ~ Michael Palin

It is hard to know what Sarah Palin means in Republican politics anymore. ~ Rachel Maddow

I believe that there is a God's plan for this world, and that plan for this world is for good. ~ Sarah Palin

Canada needs to dismantle its public health-care system and allow private enterprise to get involved and turn a profit. ~ Sarah Palin

RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION is a manual and a call to action for awakened patriots who are too intelligent to believe the leftist media lies and distortions ... Breitbart reminds us why we must fight for our country's future by staying true to core values and never retreating. ~ Sarah Palin

I like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the flight attendant who won't give you a second can of Pepsi ... She looks like the nurse who weighs you and then makes you sit alone in your underwear for 20 minutes ... She looks like a real estate agent whose picture you see on the bus stop bench ... She looks like the hygienist who makes you feel guilty about not flossing ... She looks like the relieved mom in a Tide commercial. ~ David Letterman

I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.' ~ Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part. ~ Andy Borowitz

I think that Sarah Palin really missed the chance to educate the public on what some of the challenges her son is actually facing. ~ Jon Soltz

It's not a model if it's full-size. It's a ice-breaker! ~ Michael Palin

We need independents, we need the GOP, we need Reagan Democrats. ~ Sarah Palin

Politics isn't just a game of clashing parties and competing interests. The right reason is to challenge the status quo, to serve the common good, and to leave this nation better than we found it. ~ Sarah Palin

At a time when the current and two former US presidents have admittedly indulged, as have politicians of all stripes from Al Gore to Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin and over 50% of the adult US population, the credibility tipping point of the War on Drugs propaganda has long been passed. All that appears to be missing is the political courage to admit failure and move on to more realistic and efficient policies. What will it take for decision makers to display the wisdom and garner the courage to end the disastrous War on Drugs and responsibly take charge of drug production and trade instead of leaving it in the hands of extremely dangerous and powerful international criminal organizations? ~ Jeffrey Dhywood

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one? ~ Robin Williams

You run the race to win, that's for sure. ~ Sarah Palin

Within hours of a tragedy unfolding, journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite the very hatred and violence they purport to condemn. That is reprehensible. ~ Sarah Palin

Barack Obama can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting, and never use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own campaign. ~ Sarah Palin

These global warming studies [are] a bunch of snake oil science. ~ Sarah Palin

I want to thank some very special people without whom I would not be here today. George Bush, Sarah Palin and the Pope. When I came to Hollywood in 1983, I had one dream - to sleep with Jodie Foster. That didn't work out, but this is nice, too. ~ Bill Maher

The lesson of the last year is this: foreign policy can't be managed through the politics of personality, and our President would do well to take note of an observation John F. Kennedy made once he was in office - that all of the world's problems aren't his predecessor's fault. ~ Sarah Palin