Jason Segel Quotes

I sold my first script when I was 21 - this kids' adventure movie that never got made. I just bought that one back, actually. I'm pretty psyched about it.

I don't like when I watch a fight in a movie that's perfectly worded and very articulate. If you were able to be that composed, you wouldn't be fighting! Fighting in real life is sloppy.

Funny enough, there have been puppets in everything I've written because I have a huge love of puppets. There's a big puppet musical at the end of 'Sarah Marshall.' I wrote 'The Muppets.'

I always have awkward relationships with the ladies for whatever reason. I don't know and so here we are. I was able to sort of take all of those terrible, terrible, terrible dates and turn them into a money making venture.

I would love to play a villain someday in that I think that what I've done with my whole career is walk this tightrope between charming and creepy, and I always fall on the charming side. I'd like to fall on the creepy side and be like one of those scary old men, like really charming villains.

We have reached a very cynical era of comedy. The Muppets have proven, for 40 years, that you can get laughs without ever doing it at someone else's expense, and I think that that's a really important thing for kids to realize.

I went on a Hot Pocket diet where I ate two Hot Pockets every four hours. I only had the pepperoni pizza flavour. I didn't go anywhere near the cheeseburger macaroni.

I have always felt like romantic comedies are incredibly predictable. You look at the poster and you know those two are ending up together at the end of the movie.

The power dynamics in a relationship are going to be fluid over a long period of time, so to wait for 'perfect' is going to be a mistake.

Part of growing up is not waiting in line at a hipster breakfast restaurant. The eggs taste the same across the street. I promise.

That's the best advice I can give - when you're trying to write a comedy, first write a drama, and then make it funny.

I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'

A man can certainly be a Muppet. Being a Muppet is a state of mind. It's about finding that little part of you that's unique, and not being embarrassed by it, but cherishing it.

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.

The movies that I love and model after, like 'Annie Hall,' 'When Harry Met Sally,' and in particular for me, 'Broadcast News,' are the tone of life, which isn't a setup punch-line every two minutes.

My tongue produces words faster than my brain can approve them.

I'm practically Lara goddamn Croft. You think because I'm a lady I don't know what I'm doing? Well, as they say back home, Hide and watch, son.

One thing that I think never goes out of style is just purity. Niceness and purity. And the Muppets have never lost that. Kermit especially is just wide-eyed wonder, unblinking. And he can't blink. Which I think probably helps.

Fozzie Bear has so many bear puns in this script - like, 'Trac is grizzly!' 'This is unbearable!' It's the greatest.

If it's achievement that you place your value in, you're never going to achieve enough. If it's power, you always need to wield power over others. If it's money, you'll never be rich enough. But if you do something and are a part of what is happening, then you're always in it and it's always enough.

Kermit was the Everyman, the original Tom Hanks, but I have a special place in my heart for Fozzie Bear. The classic borderline hacky entertainer.

I like to be challenged acting wise and I like to do things that I'm scared of.

You guys own the Muppets, and you're just kind of sitting on 'em. I really love the Muppets, and I think I know how to bring the franchise back.

There were some super-lean years, yeah. I'm six feet four. And I entered into this period all of a sudden when I was too big to play a kid and I was too young to play an adult. Like, I couldn't play the lawyer, but I couldn't play the high school kid anymore.