Shagging Quotes

When I was young, it was fun being in the locker room and shagging balls in the outfield in spring training. But I couldn't keep my attention on the games for more than 30 minutes. I would sit there with my Game Boy the whole game. ~ Shane Larkin

Is he actually good?" Judith asked. "He's incredible." "Sorry, are we talking about the painting or the shagging?" Nev asked. "The painting!" He grinned. "Right. ~ Ruthie Knox

He acts like he's in one of those Hollywood movies where after spending a couple of weeks with the natives in a remote Amazonian village, the white explorer is already debating the nature of the universe with the Chief in passable lingo. Except that in the movie, he ends up shagging the prize virgin whose body looks as if the jungle is really just a spa. What he doesn't know is that ten years down the road, she will wind up looking like all the other women in the village: saggy tits, rotten teeth, and about as supple as a mother of eight can be. ~ Sorin Suciu

Cheers, Tom. I'm shagging your daughter again. Oh, and before I forget, you must know that her safety is completely in my hands now. Did I also mention that she is mine? Mine, Tom. I keep what's mine very close and very safe. ~ Raine Miller

Can't fucking believe it's come to this," it muttered. "Negotiating with a fucking herdsman - you know, sometimes it's - listen, I was the thief of fire once, you goat-shagging thug. You know that? The fucking doom bringer to kings." An arm thrown out in exasperation. "Back when the earth was young, back when there was still a moon in the fucking sky, I pulled on whatever flesh was needful and I struck terror into the hearts of the powerful and enthroned all across this mudball world, and another dozen like it. I took the spirit form and strode across measureless ... ah, fuck it, never mind. ~ Richard K. Morgan

When, where, how. I need details.' She sipped her drink. 'Unless you were actually shagging and he yelled it when he blew his load, in which case feel free to lie. ~ Kitty French

My neck and shoulders are killing me. Hard to focus on writing about murder, doom, shagging, our hopeless future & other comedy etc etc. ~ Warren Ellis

Then we'd better stop her." Coating the hammering fear with calming ice, Roarke worked precisely. "I'm not losing my wife today. I need more shagging light here. ~ J.D. Robb

The basis of my own addiction, I know, is my simple human need for Darcy to get off with Elizabeth. Tom says football guru Nick Hornby says in his book that men's obsession with football is not vicarious. The testosterone-crazed fans do not wish themselves on the pitch, claims Hornby, instead seeing their team as their chosen representatives, rather like parliament. That is precisely my feeling about Darcy and Elizabeth. They are my chosen representatives in the field of shagging, or, rather, courtship. I do not, however, wish to see any actual goals. I would hate to see Darcy and Elizabeth in bed, smoking a cigarette afterwards. That would be unnatural and wrong and I would quickly lose interest. ~ Helen Fielding

Alien Affairs. Bad name I always thought, makes it sound like they're shagging them rather than investigating them. ~ Peter F. Hamilton

How about you then, Brian, any action?'
'Not really.' This sounds a bit feeble, so I add, nonchalantly, There is this girl, Alice, and she's invited me to stay with her tomorrow, at her cottage, so . . .'
'Her cottage? says Spencer. 'What is she? A milkmaid?'
'You know, a house, in the country, her parents' . . .'
'So you're shagging her then?' asks Tone.
'It's platonic.'
'What's platonic mean then?' asks Spencer, even though he knows.
'It means she won't let him shag her,' says Tone. ~ David Nicholls

Right, then, mate, terribly sorry for my unspeakable rudeness, and I do beg your pardon. I can only say that it was caused by my natural affront to the notion of her as my sister. Since I'll be shagging her tonight, you can imagine how I'd be distressed at the thought of rogering my sibling"
"You shmuck! The only thing you'll be shagging tonight is yourself!"
"You wanted sincerity, well, luv, I was sincere. ~ Jeaniene Frost

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!" ~ Billy Connolly

I hated lying to my family.
I had no choice.
As a werewolf, the pack'd go apeshit if they found out I'd spent the last few months shagging a cat.

~Kyle Larsen ~ J.A. Belfield

When I think about actors I know, I'd much rather hear about who they're shagging than what film they're doing next. ~ Hugh Grant

He muttered something foul and then climbed the stairs, rapping twice on Timmie's door.
"Right, then, mate, terribly sorry for my unspeakable rudeness, and I do beg your pardon,"
he said with admirable humbleness when Timmie cracked it open. Only I could pick up the
slight edge to his voice as he went on. "I can only say that it was caused by my natural
affront to the notion of her as my sister. Since I'll be shagging her tonight, you can
imagine how I'd be distressed at the thought of rogering my sibling."
"You schmuck!" I burst as Timmie's jaw dropped. "The only thing you'll be shagging
tonight is yourself!"
"You wanted sincerity," he countered. "Well, luv, I was sincere. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Die, thou badger-shagging spunk monkey," said I. ~ Christopher Moore

This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional gramar, split infinitives, and the odd wank. ~ Christopher Moore

When you're just shagging girls, you can talk about it, but once it gets real, then you don't. ~ Stephan Jenkins

There's nothing worse than a violent beating from an unremarkable person. Physical violence with someone is too much like shagging them. Too much id involved. ~ Irvine Welsh

There you go, lads, definitive proof that it isn't who you know that matters, but who you know they've been shagging. ~ Anthony Riches

Sex generally makes them intae real relationships, or ends them. Ye go backwards or forwards after shagging, but maintaining the status quo is difficult. ~ Irvine Welsh

So, are you two shagging yet?' He stuck two fingers up at her. 'Did you have to rip a strip off Robertson and Weatherford in front of everyone? Poor sods are doing their best.' 'Come on, I saw her checking you out all through the briefing. Yesterday she thought you were a two-foot wide skidmark on the hand-towel of life, now she's throwing you meaningful glances like they're on buy-one-get-one-free.' Steel grinned. 'You shagged her, didn't you?' 'She's my sister. OK?' 'You shagged your sister? You're disgusting. Told Susan we shouldn't have got you that boxed set of Game of Thrones.' He stood. 'You know what? I'm glad your ribs hurt. Serves you right.' Snow-covered ~ Stuart MacBride

If you think this is impressive, I know a fellow whose wife can shapeshift into an ancient dragon. I ache with envy at the thought of shagging one of those."

My jaw dropped. "You'd seriously bang a dragon?"

"Oh, for days," he responded at once. "Can you imagine the Internet videos? I'd be a bloody legend. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Drink,Drugs and shagging models.
The rest I just wasted.'
George Best on where his millions went. ~ George Best

I am not motivated by recognition, I just do things I like doing - racing, shagging, eating and drinking. ~ David Coulthard

I'd never really wanted to have a really 'private' life before. But when somebody starts delving into it and printing details through the tabloids for shagging people you shouldn't have shagged, then that probably made me shy away a bit more from giving too much away. ~ Jarvis Cocker

Poor Craw?" Ben retorted. "Poor Rory! Craw and Ari curse worse than a trucker shagging a sailor. ~ Amy Lane

And there it was. That slight lisp. That awful accent. That funny face that made him ache. Charlie wasn't just a cheat. He was a liar as well. Because Violette Zidane wasn't just the girl he was shagging, like he told the cop. She sort of owned his heart a little. Kind of a lot. ~ Melina Marchetta

WARNING
This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank. If that sort of thing bothers you, then gentle reader pass by, for we endeavor only to entertain, not to offend. That said, if that's the sort of thing you think you might enjoy, then you have happened upon the perfect story! ~ Christopher Moore

Fuck that: take shagging n peeve oot ay the equation n yir left wi the sqare root ay swee fuck all! ~ Irvine Welsh

You're shagging a woman who can turn into a dragon? Blast you, Charles, I am sick with envy! ~ Jeaniene Frost

If I had to choose between dribbling past 5 players and scoring from 40 yards at Anfield or shagging miss world, it'd be a hard choice. Thankfully, i've done both ~ George Best

How galling to watch someone who looks like you, who basically is you, do all the shagging you didn't get to do. ~ David Tennant

The first day of spring, the vernal equinox - the season of renewal when the earth sheds its winter cloak, flowers bloom, and the heart feels as though everything is once again imaginable. The smell of fresh-cut grass, shagging fly balls, and scraping mud from baseball cleats. A brief contemplation and tear for those gone from the field, their easy laugh and nimble sprint no longer gracing the game. ~ Galen Watson

Alasdair yanked a pillow, shoving it under his arse. "I think you'll find I'm a heavy but remarkably fit and supple git, thank you very much." He spread his legs wide open and leered.
"With real self-esteem issues." Cosmo deadpanned.
"I will have if you don't hurry up and make love to me."
"Make love?" Aww, that's sweet."
"Less talking. More shagging."
"Yes, boss!" Cosmo saluted with his free hand ... ~ Josephine Myles

They were giving their childhood to this woman! They were starting at seven, and by the time they were sixteen they were still reading bloody Harry Potter - sixteen-year-olds, wearing wizard outfits, who should have been shagging behind the bike shed and smoking marijuana and reading Camus. ~ Alan Taylor

Two babbies shagging each other like they were the first two on earth to discover how 'twas done. ~ Stephen King

I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm not Frank Bough, either. I am getting older and a bit more sensible. I'm not going to be popping up in dungeons every six months. If you catch me preaching fidelity while I am shagging chickens then throw the book at me. Otherwise, leave me alone. ~ Steve Coogan

He looked up as the party emerged and nickered a soft hello to his master, who was dressed in an unfamiliar green cloak and had dirt plastered on his face. Halt glanced at him, brow furrowed, and silently mouthed the words 'shut up'. Abelardshook his mane, which was as close as a horse could come to shruging, and turned away.
'My horse recognized me,' Halt said accusingly out of the side of his mouth to Horace.
Horace glanced at the small shagging horse, standing beside his own massive battlehorse.
'Mine didn't,' he replied. 'So that's a fifty-fifty result.'
'I think I'd like odds better than that,' Halt replied.
Horace suppressed a grin. 'Don't worry. He can probably smell you.'
'I can smell myself,' Halt replied acerbically. 'I smell of tea and soot.'
Horace thought it was wiser not to reply to that. ~ John Flanagan