Seriously I M Kidding Quotes

No one should ever take them self or others too seriously."

~R. Alan Woods [2012] ~ R. Alan Woods

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

Shit."
Remi leaned back and stared at me. "There you are."
I remembered it all, and I was horrified. This was not how I wanted our first time to be. "Remi. I… I…. Are you okay?"
"I'm perfectly fine. You were very careful and gentle with me." Remi brushed a few of my braids back. "Besides, I'm not the one who was stabbed in the chest. Are you okay now?"
"Better. I'm better, but not okay. I need human blood."
"I'm glad you're - " Remi gulped, shivered, and then the tears started.
He wrapped his trembling arms around me. He didn't yell or scream, but his body shook violently as he silently cried. Such control. It pained me, him hurting. Even a silver knife to the chest didn't hurt this bad.
I wanted to do something, make it better somehow. I ran my hands up and down his back, wishing he hadn't seen this. No one should have to deal with what he had to, and so soon in our relationship too.
"Hey. Hey, now. I'm okay. Seriously I'm going to be fine."
Remi burrowed closer. "I thought… I thought…. I was terrified I'd lost you. I'd just found you and, and…." Remi grasped my shirt. "I thought you were dead, and… and…. Gods! I'm so glad you're not."
I laughed slightly as I held him. The torrent of tears didn't last long. "I'm glad I'm not dead too."
Remi sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. "Jeez, I sound unhinged. ~ M.A. Church

I want to be buried in those depths in an unmarked grave. I want to get lost in the gray fog of his gaze and never find my way home. I seriously almost fucking swoon. And how often does that happen? Yeah, never. ~ C.M. Stunich

I have faith that science is a good thing. Seriously, I'd say that I am very much in awe of nature. In fact, I think to some extent, "awe" was a word that was almost invented for scientists. ~ George M. Church

You think something's wrong?"
"I know something's wrong," I say. "Were you aware Five here hasn't watched Star Wars?"
"What?"
"Seriously, I can't wrap my head around it, so I'm going to need a few minutes. ~ J.M. Darhower

Maddie looked up to the ceiling and said, "Dear Lord, I have finally accepted that this man is not a figment of my imagination and that he is actually real. Now, I find out he is an alien from outer space. Are you kidding me? ~ A.M. Hargrove

Was I seriously ogling his wrist? ~ Lori M. Lee

Ara. Ara, stop." He propped my body against the wall and unfastened my hands from his neck.
"Why? What's wrong?" I wiped my mouth dry with the back of my wrist. "Did I hurt you?"
"Yes, you little leech." He cupped his hand over the bite mark and pulled it away to look at it. "I may not have a heartbeat, but I still feel pain."
"You're bruising." I squinted through the dull light to see his neck.
"I know. I can feel that."
"I'm sorry."
"Are you kidding me?" He looked up at me. "Ara, that felt amazing. It hurt, but damn it was hard for me to control myself."
"Control yourself?"
"Yeah. I wanted to..." He looked down and shook his head.
"You wanted to what?" I lifted his face.
"I wanted to do...things to you."
"What kinds of...things." Excitement and fear made my heart thump. "Bad things?"
"Yes. Bad things." He reached up slowly and slipped the shoestring strap of my dress down my shoulder, then ran a delicate line of kisses along the curve of my neck, making the skin on my lower back tingle.
"That doesn't feel like bad things."
"This is not what I had in mind," he said into my shoulder. ~ Angela M. Hudson

No - I've got it," Jill announced, interrupting my musing. "He's a vampire." I laughed again, feeling there was no end to the outrageous, ridiculous excuses we were coming up with. "Seriously, it makes sense. He's always tired and pale, and keeps himself away from people so he won't bite them ... Maybe that's what he's doing when he disappears. Getting his fix of blood. ~ J.M. Richards

Amazing? My heart fluttered. "But I don't want Flash or Harry," I murmured. "You want Spider-Man," he finished for me, looking a little wistful. I shrugged. "And Peter Parker." He looked at me, very seriously. "Then don't settle," he said. ~ J.M. Richards

I may not take my clothes seriously. I may not have brushed or even washed my hair today. But I pronounce the word 'music' with a capital 'M.' Like God. ~ Rainbow Rowell

Because I'm suffering from a seriously nasty case of I.L."
"Um," I lean away from him and blink several times, some of my smarmy romantic swoon fading away. I was hoping maybe he was here to confess; instead he came to tell me he has an STD? "Is it contagious?"
Zayden tosses his head back and laughs, dropping his chin down and leaning in to press his face against the side of my neck. ~ C.M. Stunich

He had to be kidding. If he had been any more toned, I might have dry humped his leg when I first saw him at Dairy Queen. ~ S.M. Reine

Hunter, you can't seriously be the Goblin King. You're not even sixteen yet! I had to give you a ride to the store after school in September when we were getting supplies for Homecoming decorations! ~ K.M. Shea

I'm starting to understand what everyone says about you."
"And what, pray tell, do they say? Don't leave me in suspense here."
"That there's something seriously wrong with you."
"Oh, well, I could've told you that. There's a lot wrong with me. ~ J.M. Darhower

Smiling, Celia leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him. She pulled back, pressing her hand flat against his chest. His heart thumped erratically against her palm.
"You're wrong about yourself," she said seriously. "You said you were heartless, but that's not true. I can feel it, Corrado. It's in there. And as long as it's beating, I know it's there, working overtime, and you'll never convince me otherwise. ~ J.M. Darhower

After a long moment Laurent said, with painful honesty, "I ... find it difficult to let go of control."
"No kidding," said Damen. ~ C.S. Pacat

The thing you don't realize, my dear girl, is that I have been forced by the economic realities to start taking publishing very seriously. For example, it has been brought to my attention that our ability to continue to pay the hordes of people employed by M&S (God knows how many mouths have to be fed) depends directly on the number of copies of your new book [Life Before Man] that we are able to sell between September and Christmas. In past I have been able to treat this whole thing as a fun game. I have never been troubled by the cavalier explanations about lost manuscripts and fuck-ups of various sorts. Now I have learned that this is a deadly serious game. I don't laugh at jokes about the Canadian postal service. I cry. (in a letter to author Margaret Atwood, dated February, 1979) ~ Jack McClelland

Was I seriously awake at, let's see, one
sixteen a.m. and attempting to discern the national origin of
the woman getting plowed next door? ~ Alice Clayton

Kristy sat up very straight in the director's chair. She adjusted her visor.

"As you know," she said, "today we are going to induct two new members into the club."

Jessi and Mal grinned at each other, but I thought, "Induct?" Who's Kristy kidding?

First she comes up with this fancy word, which just means to introduce them into the club officially. ~ Ann M. Martin

Seriously, Palta ... " He was honestly puzzled, "I haven't got a clue what you're talking about. What about your ears is supposed to be so bizarre?"
"Um ... You'd have to be blind to miss them," I replied sarcastically. "If you're not, you will be when you poke your eye out on one of them. ~ M.A. George

I felt a throb between my legs. I glared down at my Cock. Hold your fucking horses, I muttered. God ... fuck was this seriously my life? Stalking a girl I'd met online, parked outside her house at midnight, speaking to my dick? ~ M. Pierce

You mean I'm a frigging Werewolf! You have got to be kidding me, apart from a little, ok a lot of PMS, I don't howl at the moon!' This was too much, I'd been poisoned, and now I find I might go hairy and eat people once a month!
'No. child. You are descended from the first brave women who said 'no', who raised their children without the curse of the Lycanthrope. Your bloodlines enable you to tolerate the line and draw on its power. Now listen to the rest of the tale while I make you some more tea'. ~ E.M. Kernow

I have the strong impression that scientific communication is being seriously hindered by poor quality abstracts written in jargon- ridden mumbo jumbo. ~ Sheila M. McNab

I seriously need a mentor. ~ M. Saylor Billings

I seriously doubt if we will ever have another war. This is probably the very last one. ~ Richard M. Nixon

Jesus, Zack, will you stop kidding around? We've had one dinner."
"Jesus? Name's familiar … I can't place it. Wasn't he Jewish? ~ Mark M. Bello

A three-way?" Garrett asked. "You're kidding, right?"
"Ménage à trois," Jack said. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."
Britt turned to face them, her hand still on the doorknob. This conversation was starting to get interesting. The two men faced off like snorting bulls, ignoring her.
"We do her one at a time," Garrett said, "and I get her first. When the hell did you do a three-way?" He raised two fingers. "Follow-up question - two girls or two guys?"
Jack raised one finger. "College. Duh." Another finger. "Two girls. It was awesome."
"Well, I'm not doing a two-guy three-way," Garrett said. "No way."
Britt spoke up. "Afraid it'll turn you on?"
"The hell kinda question is that?" Garrett said. "I'm a hundred percent straight."
"Because you didn't seem like a guy who's insecure about his sexuality," she said. "You know, when we met at the club."
"Do not try to play me with that 'insecure' crap," Garrett said. ~ Pam McKenna, Faking It

The ire in Abigail's belly died a little. She fought to get it back. 'I"m just as capable of taking care of myself as any man.'
'I'm not saying you aren't. It's just - you have to understand how Nathan sees you.'
Abigail paused. She knew how he saw her - as a helpless female who would only get in his way.
As though sensing her thoughts, Caroline shook her head. 'It's different with men, especially husbands,' she said. 'They see us as something vulnerable and fragile, something to be protected and cared for. ... he's bound and determined to do everything he can to keep you and Lizzie safe.' ... 'Talk to him. Let him know how you're feeling. It'll be all right. You're his family now, sweetheart," Caroline continued. 'A man like Nathan takes that responsibility seriously. ~ Elizabeth Ludwig

Being normal is overrated. Normal gets you what - the dolt husband with the 2.5 kids and the house with the dog? You seriously want that? I mean, one of those kids is going to be really funny looking, by the way, all cut in half like that. Who wants half a kid? ~ H.M. Ward

Have you never known a cruel wind? What an easy, balmy, tropical life you must have! I never tease, madam! I coax, I beguile, I stomp, I throw tantrums, and for certain, I freeze - I am the Coldest and Harshest of all the Harsh Airs! I am the shiver of the world! But I do not tease. You can cause ever so much more trouble by taking folk seriously, asking just what they're doing and doing just what they ask. ~ Catherynne M Valente

I was an avid reader, but never thought seriously about writing a novel until I was in my thirties. I took no formal fiction-writing courses and never thought about these categories when I wrote my first novel. ~ M.J. Rose

So what's all the fuss?" he asked instead. "Where's all the shit coming from?"
Dean told him. He tried to make it concise, using flash words such as "fire" and "conspiracy" and "big
freakin' shape-shifter," and told Roland, too, about Miri and Robert and Kevin. The red jade.
"You're both fucked," Roland said. "Seriously. I'll start arranging the funeral now."
"I want a happy boss. Where's the positive reinforcement?"
"Buried with Pollyanna in my backyard. Which is where you'll be if you don't play your cards right. ~ Marjorie M. Liu

I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say haha you are funny...but seriously m not!!! ~ Shashankbisht

Who are you anyway? What are you even doing here?"
"Haven," she said quietly, peeking at him.
He gazed at her peculiarly. "Heaven? No, this definitely isn't Heaven. But I get why you're confused, since I'm standing in front of you." She stared at him, and he
cracked a smile. "I'm kidding. Well, kinda ... I have been told I've taken a girl to Heaven a time or two."
"Haven, not Heaven," she said, louder than before. Nothing about the conversation made sense to her. "My name's Haven. ~ J.M. Darhower

I wondered what the FML post would look like.
"Today, when my father tried to shoot me, I found out he was an assassin monger who's been keeping my mom locked away in a secret facility for freaky killers. FML."
Seriously. F.M.L. ~ Jus Accardo

One of the things I loved about Chris was his sense of humor, which seemed perfectly matched with mine, even at its most offbeat. April Fools' Day was always a major highlight. A month before our daughter was due, I woke him up in the middle of the night.
"Don't panic," I told him, "but I think I'm going into labor."
"Do we have a bag?" he asked, jumping up immediately.
"No, no, don't worry." I slipped out of bed and went to take a shower.
Chris immediately got dressed and, calmly but very quickly, gathered my clothes and packed a suitcase.
"I'm ready!" he announced, barging into the bathroom.
"Babe, do you know what day it is?" I asked sweetly. It was two A.M., April 1.
"Are you kidding me?" he said, disbelieving.
I laughed and plunged back into the shower.
He quickly got revenge by flushing the toilet, sending a burst of cold water across my body.
In retrospect, maybe I'd been a little cruel, but we did love teasing each other. At our wedding, we'd smooshed cake into each other's faces. That began a tradition that continued at each birthday--whether it was ours or not. The routine never seemed to get old. We'd giggle and laugh, chasing each other as if we were crazy people. Our friends and neighbors got used to it--and learned to stay out of the line of fire. ~ Taya Kyle

Out into the staff quarters. Over to the entrance to the movie theater. Tohr stopped dead. "If this is another Beaches marathon, I'm going to Bette your ass until you can't sit down."
"Aw, look at you! Trying to be finny."
"Seriously, if you have any compassion in you at all, you'll let me go to bed - "
"I have peanut M&M's up there."
"Not my style."
"Raisinets."
"Feh."
"Sam Adams."
Tohr narrowed his eyes. "Cold?"
"Downright icy."
Tohr crossed his arms over his chest and told himself he was not pouting like a five-year-old. "I want Milk Duds."
"Got 'em. And popcorn."
With a curse, Tohr yanked open the door and ascended into the dimly lit red cave. ~ J.R. Ward

Your species," M-Bot said in my ear, "has a diet roughly similar to a human one - though with more nuts and less meat. Also, no milk"
"Seriously?" I whispered, moving with Morriumur toward the vegetable line. I waved at my chest. "Alanik has breasts. What are they for? Decoration?"
"No milk from other creatures, I should say," M-Bot said. Your species finds it extremely gross. As do I by the way. Do you even stop to think how many strange liquids you organics squirt from your orifices?"
"No stranger than the ideas that squirt from your orifice sometimes, M-Bot". ~ Brandon Sanderson