Princess Bride Humor Quotes

Poison?" she (Granuaile)said,"I hope it isn't iocane powder. ~ Kevin Hearne

The bride, the beautiful princess, a royal daughter is glorious. She waits within her chamber, dressed in a gown woven with gold. Wearing the finest garments, she is brought to the King. Her friends, her companions, follow her into the royal palace. What a joyful, enthusiastic, excited procession as they enter the palace! She comes before her King, who is wild for her!
-OLD TESTAMENT, PSALM 45 ~ Holly Wagner

Some brides stress, some don't. I think I'm a serene bride. ~ Charlene, Princess Of Monaco

The Luidaeg is the daughter of Oberon and Maeve, which technically makes her my aunt. Maybe that's why she hasn't killed me yet, although it's just as likely to be the fact that I amuse her. May says we're reenacting the Princess Bride, one "I'll most likely kill you in the morning" at a time. ~ Seanan McGuire

Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam. The dweam of wuv wapped wiffin the gweater dweam of everwasting west. Eternity is our fwiend, wemember that, and wuv wiw fowwow you fowever. ~ William Goldman

Swap out one of these men with the mute, and I'll be right as rain," Randy said from his spot near the kitchen entrance.
"Thought we were besties," Bride mumbled into the shot of rum she'd pilfered from Randy's cabinet. ~ Shay Rucker

You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die. ~ S. Morgenstern

Where's the bride-to-be?" Beckett held his arms open for Kyle and gave her a gentle hug. "Good on you, Fairy Princess, making an honest man out of my boy here. Jesus was treating him like shit; he was never getting laid. I hope you two have a million damn kids and name them all Beckett, boys or girls."
Kyle returned the hug and smirked. "We might name our dog Beckett, if you're lucky."
Beckett laughed a bit too loudly. He seemed desperate to make up for lost time. ~ Debra Anastasia

Is your future faery bride too ugly for you?"
Rhys leaned back against the head rest and studied the seat
back in front of him. "That's not it."
"Too old or too young?"
"No."
I rolled my eyes, but smiled. This was why he was upset. He
hadn't landed the perfect bride-to-be. "Her pretty faery wings
aren't the right shade of sparkly lavender and pink?"
His eyes flashed with anger. "Actually, she doesn't have faery
wings."
"She doesn't?"
"No. As a matter of fact, the dragon oracle tells me the girl I'm
supposed to marry, the one destined to someday become the queen
of the faery realm, isn't a faery at all."
Okay, that was surprising. Not a faery?
"She isn't?" I said. "Then who is she?"
His expression was severe as he turned to look me right in the
eye.
"You," he said ~ Michelle Rowen

Romulan or Vulcan?' the ushers asked each guest.
Marion, who had been poised to say 'friends of the bride' had responded to the question with an open-mouthed stare, and Jay Omega answered, 'Klingon! which got them seats in the back row of the Romulan side. ~ Sharyn McCrumb

Time to sit down," Fred told Harry, "Or we're going to get run over by the bride. ~ J.K. Rowling

I spent hours yesterday talking of little but medical symptoms and insane asylums. And you listened as though it were poetry and all but swooned at my feet. It is too bad I don't have any medical treatises about. I'm sure I need read a paragraph or two, and you will become ravenous with lust and begin tearing my clothes off. (Dorian from "The Mad Earl's Bride") ~ Loretta Chase

I am recognized a lot for 'Clueless,' but I am recognized a great deal for 'The Princess Bride.' I don't know ... maybe everybody who has seen that movie just goes out on the street. ~ Wallace Shawn

What I think is great about Pippin, specifically, and I wouldn't make this generalization about all musicals, is that it is about how we tell stories and the way stories are very subjective. How we tell some things and leave other things out in the way The Princess Bride is or The Wizard of Oz is, which both have a framing device. ~ James Ponsoldt

Your definition of 'well' is troubling at best." He suddenly smiled and affected a slight accent. "'I do not think that word means what you think it means.'"
He was obviously quoting something he and Jason seemed to know that she did not.
Jason grinned. "Ha, she ain't a princess, and you wish you were that good a swordsman. ~ Ilona Andrews

It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise! ~ Andre The Giant

Where are you going?"
"To get my Bible."
"Right now? You can't get your Bible out right now! I'm, I'm, we're just about to ... "
She'd never be able to go through with this if he got out his Bible. She wiped all humor from her face.
"I believe you. Proverbs 5:18. Rejoice, relish, and romp with your husband."
He chuckled. "I'm serious, Connie, and I won't have you feeling ashamed or unclean over anything we do in that bed, tonight or any other night."
"I won't. I feel unashamed and very clean. I promise. But please don't get out that Bible."
"What? Think you that God can't see us right now?"
Groaning, she slid off his lap and covered her face with her hands. He sunk to his knees in front of her, drawing her hands down.
"I love you. You love me. We are man and wife. God is watching, Connie, and He is very, very pleased. ~ Deeanne Gist

The hollowness was in his arms and the world was snowing. ~ William Goldman

The only topic you could not get Andre' to budge on was whether or not wrestling was fake or rehearsed in any way. I don't know if in Andre's case it was real, considering all the severe punishment he experienced, or whether he believed in the wrestler's code of never giving away trade secrets. ~ Cary Elwes

Interrupting what promised to be a long spate of fatherly advice, St. Vincent said in a clipped voice, "It's not a love match. It's a marriage of convenience, and there's not enough warmth between us to light a birthday candle. Get on with it, if you please. Neither of us has had a proper sleep in two days."
Silence fell over the scene, with MacPhee and his two daughters appearing shocked by the brusque remarks. Then the blacksmith's heavy brows lowered over his eyes in a scowl. "I don't like ye," he announced.
St. Vincent regarded him with exasperation. "Neither does my bride-to-be. But since that's not going to stop her from marrying me, it shouldn't stop you either. Go on. ~ Lisa Kleypas

I wanted to be Beetlejuice. I watched nonstop 'Beetlejuice' and 'The Princess Bride' growing up. ~ Mackenzie Davis

I grew up in Middle America and I don't think my family was very funny, but I watched 'The Princess Bride.' I always wanted to be an actor. I didn't know anything about it. I'd never seen any plays or anything and I watched that movie over and over and over again. ~ Missi Pyle

What's our plan?
Well, reviewing our assets, we don't have artillery, nor enough grenades. And since we also lack a wheelbarrow and Holocaust cloak...
Very funny, Pete. ~ Bill Willingham

We had a really fun time working together on the film. With myself as a pirate. And she as a fair maiden. Running off together in the spirit of love and adventure. ~ Cary Elwes

He put the book down. "As you wish." He rose and walked past me. I lowered my sword, expecting him to pass, but suddenly he stepped in dangerously close. "Welcome home. I'm glad you made it. There is coffee in the kitchen for you."
My mouth gaped open.
He inhaled my scent, bent close, about to kiss me ...
I just stood there like an idiot.
Curran smirked and whispered in my ear instead. "Psych."
And just like that, he was out the door and gone.
Oh boy. ~ Ilona Andrews

Is this a kissing book? ~ William Goldman

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love-you think this happens every day?
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well ... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: i will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need. ~ William Goldman

He could quote most of The Princess Bride off by heart. ~ Amy Rae Durreson

There's not a lot of money in revenge. ~ Mandy Patinkin

The boys. The beef-witted featherbrained rattleskulled clod-pated dim-domed noodle-noggined sapheaded lunk-knobbed boys. How could anybody accuse her of stealing them? Why would anybody want them anyway? ~ William Goldman

I was to be a bride, but whose? Councilor Branwick had assured me that the Council of Citizens would let me know the moment they decided. ~ Lea Carter

I might be bluffing, you miserable, vomitous mass!" Bran yelled. Oh, for heaven's sake. Really? He's quotin' The Princess Bride? ~ Julie Ann Walker

If she had been a normal female, she would have swooned. But she was not normal, never had been.
"Good grief, you are impossibly handsome," she said breathlessly. "I vow, I have never experienced the like. For an instant, my brain stopped altogether. I must say, my lord, you do clean up well. But next time, I wish you would call out a warning before you come into view, and give me a chance to brace myself for the onslaught."
Something dark flickered in his eyes. Then a corner of his hard mouth quirked up. "Miss Adams, you have an interesting - a unique - way with a compliment."
The trace of a smile disoriented her further. "It is a unique experience," she said. "I never knew my brain to shut off before, not while I was full awake. I wonder if the phenomenon has been scientifically documented and what physiological explanation has been proposed. ~ Loretta Chase

'The Princess Bride' is by far the most popular film I've ever done. I don't think I'll ever top it. ~ Wallace Shawn

Nnaka my son, our elders say, when a kid washes his hands clean, he becomes fit to dine with the elders. Our hearts are filled with indescribable joy and we can rub our belly with delight, so much so that we should give you the largest farmland and the most beautiful bride in the community but alas, we can only do so much. Nonetheless, the crack on the buttocks has not diminished its functions and we shall not disappoint you. ~ Sinachi Ukpabi

For her seventh birthday, Mazy Gulliver got a Play Bride set that included a white veil, a plastic bouquet and a rhinestone ring. She immediately organized a wedding celebration under the basketball goal where she married Termy Latham, the boy next door. An argument could be made that the incident was merely the first in a long series of hasty, ill-conceived and unwise decisions about men. ~ Pamela Morsi

I cannot choose for you," he said, "for choosing a bride is like making a bowl of akamu. If someone makes it poorly, you will blame him for the rest of your life; but if you make
it yourself, you will drink it without complaining, whatever the outcome. ~ Sinachi Ukpabi

Steph, you're allowed to feel betrayed. I totally get that. But don't just think about how much you hurt. Think about the way he makes you feel. Think about the things he says to you and the way you feel when he touches you. And kisses you. Think about THE PRINCESS BRIDE and the New Year's Eve kiss. Think about never feeling the rest of your whole life the way you feel when you're with him."
I smirk. "You totaly stole that from DIRTY DANCING. ~ Sydney Logan

Trudy rolled her eyes and smacked his arm. "I declare, Seth Flanigan, the longer I know you, the more your sense of humor increases. You barely had any when we first married. Now look at how you act. Being around Frey has brought out the worse in you."
"No, I don't think it's Frey's fault." He winked at Grace. "It's what happiness does to a man." He gave Trudy a gently shove toward the doorway. "Go on with you, now. The Viking awaits his bride. ~ Debra Holland