Petunia Dursley Quotes

Dumbledore paused, and although his voice remained light and calm, and he gave no obvious sign of anger, Harry felt a kind of chill emanating from him and noticed that the Dursleys drew very slightly closer together.
You did not do as I asked. You have never treated Harry as a son. He has known nothing but neglect and often cruelty at your hands. The best that can be said is that he has at least escaped the appalling damage you have inflicted upon the unfortunate boy sitting between you. ~ J.K. Rowling

When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. ~ J.K. Rowling

Asleep was the way Harry liked the Dursleys best; it wasn't as though they were ever any help to him awake. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley were Harry's only living relatives. They were Muggles who hated and despised magic in any form, which meant that Harry was about as welcome in their house as dry rot. They had explained away Harry's long absences at Hogwarts over the last three years by telling everyone that he went to St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys. They knew perfectly well that, as an underage wizard, Harry wasn't allowed to use magic outside Hogwarts, but they were still apt to blame him for anything that went wrong about the house. Harry had never been able to confide in them or tell them anything about his life in the Wizarding world. The very idea of going to them when they awoke, and telling them about his scar hurting him, and about his worries about Voldemort, was laughable. ~ J.K. Rowling

Masons will be here soon!" snapped Aunt Petunia, ~ J.K. Rowling

Her real name will come later, but her current code name is Petunia. ~ Mike Brown

Was this normal cat behavior, Mr. Dursley wondered. ~ J.K. Rowling

No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. ~ J.K. Rowling

My father had all these great names for our cows. Bossy and Daisy and Petunia and Turnip. One of my jobs was to round up the cows before milking. I'd go out back with the dog and bring them in. ~ Bobbie Ann Mason

Have you been in a fight? No, let me guess; you saved a wounded dog, again?" I said dryly. That was the excuse he'd used last time. "I had a nosebleed." "Nosebleed, my petunia." "Petunia?" "Ass, Barrons. As in you are one. ~ Karen Marie Moning

Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me, said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him. ~ J.K. Rowling

Do you mean to tell me', he growled a the Dursleys, 'that this boy- this boy! - knows nothin' abou' - about ANYTHING?'
Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks were'nt bad.
'I know some things,' he said. ' I can, you know, do maths and stuff.'
But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, 'About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer' parents world.'
'What world?'
Hagrid looked at though he was about to explode.
'DURSLEY!' he boomed.
Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like 'Mimblewimble'.
Hagrid stared wildly at Harry.
'But yeh must know about yer mum and dad', he said. 'I mean, they're famous. You're famous.
'What? My - my mum and dad weren't famous, were they?'
'Yeh don' know... yeh don' know...' Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare.
'Yeh don' know what yeh are?' he said finally.
Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.
'Stop!' he commanded, 'stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!'
A braver man than Vernon dudley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.
'You never told him? Never told him what was in the latter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you kept it from him all these years?'
'Kept what from me?' said Harry eagerl ~ J.K. Rowling

The fridge had been emptied of all Dudley's favorite things - fizzy drinks and cakes, chocolate bars and burgers - and filled instead with fruit and vegetables and the sorts of things that Uncle Vernon called rabbit food. ~ J.K. Rowling

A pink taffeta evening gown. It looked like it had run away from a junior high
prom ...
The dress looked like a petunia on steroids to me. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

Perhaps we should wait outside in the hall, Dedalus," murmured Hestia. She clearly felt that it would be tactless for them to remain in the room while Harry and the Dursleys exchanged loving, possibly tearful farewells.
"There's no need," Harry muttered, but Uncle Vernon made any further explanation unnecessary by saying loudly,
"Well, this is good-bye, then, boy."
He swung his right arm upward to shake Harry's hand, but at the last moment seemed unable to face it, and merely closed his fist and began swinging it backward and forward like a metronome.
"Ready, Diddy?" asked Aunt Petunia, fussily checking the clasp of her handbag so as to avoid looking at Harry altogether.
Dudley did not answer, but stood there with his mouth slightly ajar, reminding Harry a little of the giant, Grawp.
"Come along, then," said Uncle Vernon.
He had already reached the living room door when Dudley mumbled, "I don't understand."
"What don't you understand, popkin?" asked Aunt Petunia, looking up at her son.
Dudley raised a large, hamlike hand to point at Harry.
"Why isn't he coming with us?"
Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia froze where they stood, staring at Dudley as though he had just expressed a desire to become a ballerina.
"What?" said Uncle Vernon loudly.
"Why isn't he coming too?" asked Dudley.
"Well, he--he doesn't want to," said Uncle Vernon, turning to glare at Harry and adding, "You don't want to, do you?"
"Not in ~ J.K. Rowling

Grinning, she hovered over him. Then, like a fist closing around a doorknob, her grin closed around him. With her lips, she turned the knob first one way and then the other: left, right, open, shut; left, right, open, shut. The knob did not squeak. In fact, Wiggs was unusually quiet.

Now, falling into rhythm, she sucked the knob from its axle, sucked the axle from its door, the door from its hinges. Out onto the lawn, tempo increasing, she sucked up the flagstone walk, the rosebushes, the petunia bed, the sprinkler, the driveway, and the small Japanese car parked in the driveway: oh, what a feeling! Toyota! Wiggs moaned as the neighborhood disappeared.

The towers of the city began to sway, and soon, the planet itself fell victim to the force, swelling at its equator, throbbing at its poles. It wobbled violently on its axis, once, twice, then exploded. The Big Bang theory, proven at last. Continuing to impersonate a black hole, she pulled in every drop and particle – she'd never had a man in such entirety – and it wasn't until the final spasm had subsided and the cosmos was at peace that she loosened her grip and, lips glistening like the Milky Way, looked up to see – the legs of a third party standing there. ~ Tom Robbins

I want to help you," Oliver said.
"Why?" Galen looked up at him. "Because of Petunia?" Oliver was relieved that the prince didn't seem to be skeptical about his conviction. He simply looked like he wanted to know, and so did Heinrich, when Oliver dared to look at the other prince. Oliver was very aware that Heinrich had known his father. Had known him better than Oliver had, in fact.
"Because of her," Oliver said at last. "Even though I have only met her twice, really ... I just ... "
"I risked my life to save Rose after only speaking with her twice," Galen said with a small smile. ~ Jessica Day George

And you wish to protect a beautiful princess, with whom you have fallen in love. But do you understand how dire the situation is? He life and the lives of her sisters are hanging in the balance. You yourself risk death if you choose this path."
"I don't care," Oliver said. He stood up and faced the bishop. "I don't care! I love Petunia, and this is what I'm choosing, right here and now. ~ Jessica Day George

Soap wasn't invented until the Romans, who also invented interesting sex. (Since my editor informs me that a gardening book is not a proper venue for discussions of interesting sex, I will go into this topic in more detail when I write my private memoirs, 'A Petunia Named Desire'). ~ Cassandra Danz

She couldn't help but grin at him. "It is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. Even more exciting than being abducted by you.
"Galen and Rose got married that summer," she went on. "It was terribly romantic." She shrugged again. "Honestly? I'm having a hard time believing that it won't happen like that again. Galen will work some magic. We'll seal the gate and go home. Poppy and Daisy will have a beautiful wedding."
Oliver got up from his chair and came over to the bed. He sank down beside her and put his arm around her waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder.
"It will be alright," he told her "You shouldn't be afraid. ~ Jessica Day George

morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes - the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and ~ J.K. Rowling

And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon.
"Well ... " said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley. ~ J.K. Rowling

How long have you been 'Big D' then?" said Harry.
"Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away again.
"Cool name," said Harry, grinning and falling into step beside his cousin. "But you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me."
"I said, SHUT IT!" said Dudley, whose ham-like hands had curled into fists.
"Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?"
"Shut your face."
"You don't tell her to shut her face. What about 'popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums,' can I use them then? ~ J.K. Rowling

Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! ~ J.K. Rowling

It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?"
"It's real for us," said Snape. "Not for her. ~ J.K. Rowling

The point is, if we find out you've been horrible to Harry - "
" - and make no mistake, we'll hear about it.
"even if you won't let Harry use the fellytone - "
"Telephone ~ J.K. Rowling

Seventeen, eh!" said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred.
"Six years to the day we met, Harry, d'yeh remember it?"
"Vaguely," said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn't you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig's tail, and tell me I was a wizard?"
"I forge' the details," Hagrid chortled. ~ J.K. Rowling

That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand new uniform ... As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that if was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh. ~ J.K. Rowling

Petunia only ever went to the doctor reluctantly, and her motive in doing so was always the same: she did it in order to feel less anxious about things. The doctor was supposed to make the worry go away; she did quite enough worrying without actually having something to worry about. When she came out feeling no less anxious, as this time, something had gone wrong. The basic contract had been broken. ~ John Lanchester

Oliver's heart tried to pound its way out of his ribcage, but he ignored it. "I'm in love with Petunia," he announced. "And I want to help her. ~ Jessica Day George

Uncle Vernon rounded on Harry. "And you?"
"I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry tonelessly.
"Exactly," said Uncle Vernon nastily. At eight-fifteen - "
"I'll announce dinner," said Aunt Petunia.
"And, Dudley, you'll say - "
"May I take you through to the dining room, Mrs. Mason?" said Dudley.
"And you?" said Uncle Vernon viciously to Harry.
"I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry dully.
"Precisely. Now, we should aim to get in a few good compliments at dinner.
"How about - 'We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Mr. Mason, and I wrote about you.'"
This was too much for both Aunt Petunia and Harry. Aunt Petunia burst into tears while Harry ducked under the table so they wouldn't see him laughing.
"And you, boy?"
Harry fought to keep his face straight as he emerged. "I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," he said. ~ J.K. Rowling

At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having ~ J.K. Rowling

Jiggery pokery!" said Harry in a fierce voice. "Hocus pocus - squiggly wiggly - "
"MUUUUUUM!" howled Dudley, "He's doing you know what! ~ J.K. Rowling