Dudley Dursley Quotes

How long have you been 'Big D' then?" said Harry.
"Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away again.
"Cool name," said Harry, grinning and falling into step beside his cousin. "But you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me."
"I said, SHUT IT!" said Dudley, whose ham-like hands had curled into fists.
"Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?"
"Shut your face."
"You don't tell her to shut her face. What about 'popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums,' can I use them then? ~ J.K. Rowling

Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel - Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig. ~ J.K. Rowling

Dumbledore paused, and although his voice remained light and calm, and he gave no obvious sign of anger, Harry felt a kind of chill emanating from him and noticed that the Dursleys drew very slightly closer together.
You did not do as I asked. You have never treated Harry as a son. He has known nothing but neglect and often cruelty at your hands. The best that can be said is that he has at least escaped the appalling damage you have inflicted upon the unfortunate boy sitting between you. ~ J.K. Rowling

Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he? ~ J.K. Rowling

Jiggery pokery!" said Harry in a fierce voice. "Hocus pocus - squiggly wiggly - "
"MUUUUUUM!" howled Dudley, "He's doing you know what! ~ J.K. Rowling

No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. ~ J.K. Rowling

The fridge had been emptied of all Dudley's favorite things - fizzy drinks and cakes, chocolate bars and burgers - and filled instead with fruit and vegetables and the sorts of things that Uncle Vernon called rabbit food. ~ J.K. Rowling

Aunt Petunia burst into tears. Hestia Jones gave her an approving look that changed to outrage as Aunt Petunia ran forward and embraced Dudley rather than Harry.
'S-so sweet, Dudders ... ' she sobbed into his massive chest. 'S-such a lovely b-boy ... s-saying thank you ... '
'But he hadn't said thank you at all!' said Hestia indignantly. 'He only said he didn't think Harry was a waste of space!'
'Yeah, but coming from Dudley that's like I love you. ~ J.K. Rowling

Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

There is no moment of delight in any pilgrimage like the beginning of it. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

The love of dirt is among the earliest of passions, as it is the latest. Mud-pies gratify one of our first and best instincts. So long as we are dirty, we are pure. Fondness for the ground comes back to a man after he has run the round of pleasure and business, eaten dirt, and sown wild oats, drifted about the world, and taken the wind of all its moods. The love of digging in the ground (or of looking on while he pays another to dig) is as sure to come back to him, as he is sure, at last, to go under the ground, and stay there. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

I am convinced that the majority of people would be generous from selfish motives, if they had the opportunity. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Perhaps we should wait outside in the hall, Dedalus," murmured Hestia. She clearly felt that it would be tactless for them to remain in the room while Harry and the Dursleys exchanged loving, possibly tearful farewells.
"There's no need," Harry muttered, but Uncle Vernon made any further explanation unnecessary by saying loudly,
"Well, this is good-bye, then, boy."
He swung his right arm upward to shake Harry's hand, but at the last moment seemed unable to face it, and merely closed his fist and began swinging it backward and forward like a metronome.
"Ready, Diddy?" asked Aunt Petunia, fussily checking the clasp of her handbag so as to avoid looking at Harry altogether.
Dudley did not answer, but stood there with his mouth slightly ajar, reminding Harry a little of the giant, Grawp.
"Come along, then," said Uncle Vernon.
He had already reached the living room door when Dudley mumbled, "I don't understand."
"What don't you understand, popkin?" asked Aunt Petunia, looking up at her son.
Dudley raised a large, hamlike hand to point at Harry.
"Why isn't he coming with us?"
Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia froze where they stood, staring at Dudley as though he had just expressed a desire to become a ballerina.
"What?" said Uncle Vernon loudly.
"Why isn't he coming too?" asked Dudley.
"Well, he--he doesn't want to," said Uncle Vernon, turning to glare at Harry and adding, "You don't want to, do you?"
"Not in ~ J.K. Rowling

The tenure of a literary reputation is the most uncertain and fluctuating of all. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Hagrid, look what I've got for relatives!" Harry said furiously. "Look at the Dursleys!"
"An excellent point," said Professor Dumbledore. "My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery ... ~ J.K. Rowling

Don't you want to take a last look at the place?" he asked Hedwig, who was still sulking with her head under her wing. "We'll never be here again. Don't you want to remember all the good times? I mean, look at this doormat. What memories . . . Dudley puked on it after I saved him from the dementors . . . Turns out he was grateful after all, can you believe it? . . . And last summer, Dumbledore walked through that front door . . . ."
Harry lost the thread of his thoughts for a moment and Hedwig did nothing to help him retrieve it, but continued to sit with her head under her wing. Harry turned his back on the front door.
"And under here, Hedwig" - Harry pulled open a door under the stairs - "is where I used to sleep! You never knew me then - Blimey, it's small, I'd forgotten . . . . ~ J.K. Rowling

So how is it your brother is Dudley Do-Right and you're Mad Max? I asked. ~ Nina Lane

When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. ~ J.K. Rowling

The principal value of a garden is not understood. It is not to give the possessors vegetables and fruit (that can be better and cheaper done by the market-gardeners), but to teach him patience and philosophy, and the higher virtues - hope deferred, and expectations blighted, leading directly to resignation, and sometimes to alienation. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Blessed be agriculture! if one does not have too much of it. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Usually one or two things happen: Either you have an idea straightaway - the sort of sound that you want or the instrumentation or one particular sound that you want to feature - or you don't. ~ Anne Dudley

Trade is nothing else but a Commutation of Superfluities; for instance: I give mine, what I can spare, for somewhat of yours, which I want, and you can spare. ~ Dudley North

There is life in the ground; it goes into the seeds and also when it is stirred up goes into the man who stirs it. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

The thing generally raised on city land is taxes. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Asleep was the way Harry liked the Dursleys best; it wasn't as though they were ever any help to him awake. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley were Harry's only living relatives. They were Muggles who hated and despised magic in any form, which meant that Harry was about as welcome in their house as dry rot. They had explained away Harry's long absences at Hogwarts over the last three years by telling everyone that he went to St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys. They knew perfectly well that, as an underage wizard, Harry wasn't allowed to use magic outside Hogwarts, but they were still apt to blame him for anything that went wrong about the house. Harry had never been able to confide in them or tell them anything about his life in the Wizarding world. The very idea of going to them when they awoke, and telling them about his scar hurting him, and about his worries about Voldemort, was laughable. ~ J.K. Rowling

Call me Dudley. We're of equal rank. I'm older, but you're far better looking. I can tell we're going to be grand partners. ~ James Ellroy

You get most out of walking by going along briskly, swinging the arms and breathing deeply. It also helps promote the circulation of blood to the brain. The Greek philosophers promenaded as they philosophized. ~ Paul Dudley White

The world is full of poetry as the earth is of pay-dirt; one only needs to know how to strike it. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Then, a historic event changed everything for my family: Henry Ford created the Model T. Others soon followed suit, inventing their own automobiles. The people who had been buying and renting carts started buying trucks or small cars instead. Despite my family's expertise in their craft, nobody wanted a car with wooden wheels. Very quickly, within the space of 10 years, their business started to collapse. ~ Simon Dudley

Jaguar - For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know. ~ Dudley Moore

Dudley had reached roughly the size and weight of a young killer whale. ~ J.K. Rowling

He's just intelligent-sort of a nerd, actually. He's the only brother I know who made a 1420 on the SAT. I don't think Chris Dudley did that, and Mr. Smarty Pants went to Yale. Kobe doesn't hang out. He doesn't go to the clubs. He doesn't ride around. He doesn't put rims on his car. He's just him. He's a sophisticated kid. Damn mature for his age. ~ Shaquille O'Neal

Fear is the highest fence. ~ Dudley Nichols

The stranger who receives the rare gift of human kindness holds its value in his heart forever. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Break up the printing presses and you break up rebellion. ~ Dudley Nichols

One discovers a friend by chance, and cannot but feel regret that 20 or 30 years of life may have been spent without the least knowledge of him. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

I wish we could do something useful with tobacco - like making fertilizer out of it. ~ Paul Dudley White

Your majesty, please reconsider," Lord Dudley pleaded. "Your position will be much stronger with your husband as king. The people will see it as a sign of strength - "
She took a deep breath. "They need signs of my strength, not my reliance on the men around me ~ Cynthia Hand

If any man, out of an humour, should turn all his Estate into Money, and keep it dead, he would soon be sensible of Poverty growing upon him, whilst he is eating out of the quick stock. ~ Dudley North

Hoe while it is spring, and enjoy the best anticipations. It is not much matter if things do not turn out well. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

Even their contemporaries felt that the relationship of Elizabeth and Robert transcended the details on practicality. There had to be some explanation for their lifelong fidelity, and those contemporaries put it down to 'synaptia', a hidden conspiracy of the stars, whose power to rule human lives no-one doubted: 'a sympathy of spirits between them, occasioned perhaps by some secret constellation', in the words of the historian William Camden, writing at the beginning of the seventeenth century. Theirs was a relationship already rooted in history and mythology. And that moment when Elizabeth heard she had come to the throne encapsulated much about their story. If our well-loved picture of Elizabeth's accession is something of a fantasy - if the reality is on the whole more interesting - you might say the same about our traditional picture of her relationship with Robert Dudley. ~ Sarah Gristwood

You gonna suck the marrow out of that bone?" he asked, hoping for a distraction.
"Like to suck something else."
"Christ," Alex sputtered. He sure walked right into that one.
"Just sayin'."
Alex took another giant swig. "You got a dirty mouth."
"I'd be more than happy to show you dirty. Just like I did this mornin'. By the way...you looked amazin' when you unloaded. ~ Anne Dudley

knew he shouldn't have risen to Dudley's bait, but Dudley had said the very thing Harry had been thinking himself . . . maybe ~ J.K. Rowling

Let us celebrate the soil. Most men toil that they may own a piece of it; they measure their success in life by their ability to buy it. ~ Charles Dudley Warner