Misattributed To Tolkien Quotes

Always speak politely to an enraged dragon. ~ Steven Brust

What exactly was Jesus' take on violent capitalism? I also have some big ideas for changing the way we think about literary morals as they pertain to legislation. Rather than suffer another attempt by the religious right to base our legalese upon the Bible, I would vote that we found it squarely upon the writings of J. R. R. Tolkien. The citizens of Middle Earth had much more tolerant policies in their governing bodies. For example, Elrond was chosen to lead the elves at Rivendell not only despite his androgynous nature but most likely because of the magical leadership inherent in a well-appointed bisexual elf wizard. That's the person you want picking shit out for your community. That's the guy you want in charge. David Bowie or a Mormon? Not a difficult equation. ~ Nick Offerman

And here he was, a little halfling from the Shire, a simple hobbit of the quiet countryside, expected to find a way where the great ones could not go, or dared not go. It was an evil fate. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Those who stand for nothing fall for everything. ~ Alexander Hamilton

Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

But you comfort me, Gimli, I'm glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and your hard axe. I wish there were more of your kin among us. But even more would I give for a hundred good archers of Mirkwood.
- Legolas ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Dear me! We Tooks and Brandybucks, we can't live long on the heights.'
'No,' said Merry. 'I can't. Not yet, at any rate. But at least, Pippin, we can now see them, and honour them. It is best to love first what you are fitted to love, I suppose: you must start somewhere and have some roots, and the soil of the Shire is deep. Still there are things deeper and higher; and not a gaffer could tend his garden in what he calls peace but for them, whether he knows about them or not. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

What do you fear, lady?" [Aragorn] asked.
"A cage," [Éowyn] said. "To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Burn, burn tree and fern!
Shrivel and scorch! A fizzling torch
To light the night for our delight,
Ya hey!

Bake and toast 'em, fry and roast 'em!
till beards blaze, and eyes glaze;
till hair smells and skins crack,
fat melts, and bones black
in cinders lie
beneath the sky!
So dwarves shall die,
and light the night for our delight,
Ya hey!
Ya-harri-hey!
Ya hoy! ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

That leaves you just ten minutes. You will have to run," said Gandalf. "But - ," said Bilbo. "No time for it," said the wizard. "But - ," said Bilbo again. "No time for that either! Off you go!" To ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

If you seem to have stumbled, think that it was fated to be so. Your heart is shrewd as well as faithful, and saw clearer than your eyes. For ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Elrond's house was perfect, whether you liked food or sleep or story-telling or singing (or reading), or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness ... Evil things did not come into the secret valley of Rivendell. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Well, I suppose we must be going on again,' he said. 'I wonder how long it will be before we really are caught and all the toiling and the slinking will be over, and in vain.' He stood up. 'It's dark, and we cannot use the Lady's glass. Keep it safe for me, Sam. I have nowhere to keep it now, except in my hand, and I shall need both hands in the blind night. But Sting I give to you. I have got an orc-blade, but I do not think it will be my part to strike any blow again. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Remember that the Mirror shows many things, and not all have yet come to pass. Some never come to be, unless those that behold the visions turn aside from their path to prevent them. The Mirror is dangerous as a guide of deeds. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

I am getting very old, and I began to wonder if I should ever live to see your chapters of our story. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Saruman," I said, standing away from him, "only one hand at a time can weild the One, and you know that well, so do not trouble to say we! ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

My dear People, began Bilbo, rising in his place. 'Hear! Hear! Hear!' they shouted, and kept on repeating it in chorus, seeming reluctant to follow their own advice. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

There are some things that it is better to begin than to refuse, even though the end may be dark. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Quentin had an obsolete sailing ship that had been raised from the dead. He had psychotically effective swordsman and an enigmatic witch-queen. It wasn't the Fellowship of the Ring, but then again he wasn't trying to save the world from Sauron, he was trying to perform a tax audit on a bunch of hick islanders ... ~ Lev Grossman

If the bee disappeared off the face of the earth, man would only have four years left to live. ~ Maurice Maeterlinck

Fairy tale does not deny the existence of sorrow and failure: the possibility of these is necessary to the joy of deliverance. It denies (in the face of much evidence, if you will) universal final defeat ... giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy; Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

There is little or no magic about them, except the ordinary everyday sort which helps them to disappear quietly and quickly when large stupid folk like you and me come blundering along, making a noise like elephants which they can hear a mile off. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Then hope unlooked-for came so suddenly to Eomer's heart, and with it the bite of care and fear renewed, that he said no more, but turned and went swiftly from the hall. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

And no one was ill, and everyone was pleased, except those who had to mow the grass. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

There are perhaps many causes worth dying for, but to me, certainly, there are none worth killing for. ~ Albert Dietrich

his talk dwelt on walls and weapons, and the mustering of men; and he drew plans for great alliances and glorious victories to be; and he cast down Mordor, and became himself a mighty king, benevolent and wise. Suddenly ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. ~ Anonymous

And still Meriadoc the hobbit stood there blinking through his tears, and no one spoke to him, indeed none seemed to heed him. He brushed away the tears, and stooped to pick up the green shield that Eowyn had given him, and he slung it at his back. Then he looked for his sword that he had let fall; for even as he struck his blow his arm was numbed, and now he could only use his left hand. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

I wonder,' said Frodo. 'It's my doom, I think, to go to that Shadow yonder, so that a way will be found. But will good or evil show it to me? ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

We renounce no friendship. But it may be the part of a friend to rebuke a friend's folly. And ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

J. R. R. Tolkien, undisputedly a most fluent speaker of this language, was criticized in his day for indulging his juvenile whim of writing fantasy, which was then considered - as it still is in many quarters - an inferior form of literature and disdained as mere "escapism." "Of course it is escapist," he cried. "That is its glory! When a soldier is a prisoner of war it is his duty to escape - and take as many with him as he can." He went on to explain, "The moneylenders, the knownothings, the authoritarians have us all in prison; if we value the freedom of the mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as possible. ~ Stephen R. Lawhead

You renounce your friendship even in the hour of our need ' he said. 'Yet you were glad indeed to receive our aid when you came at last to these shores fainthearted loiterers and well-nigh emptyhanded. In huts on the beaches would you be dwelling still had not the Noldor carved out your haven and toiled upon your walls. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are ~ Kurt Cobain

Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"

A cold voice answered: 'Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."

A sword rang as it was drawn. "Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."

"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"

Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. "But no living man am I! ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful. ~ Evans G. Valens

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. ~ J.K. Rowling

she was afraid, as much of the great pillared hall and the roof of stone as of the company of many eyes that watched her. And when Thingol bade her speak, she said: 'Lord, I was sitting in a tree'; but then she faltered in awe of the King, and could say no more. At that the King smiled, and said: 'Others have done this also, but have felt no need to tell me of it. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

At last the time came for him to say good-bye to his friends. "Farewell, Balin!" he said; "and farewell, Dwalin; and farewell Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur! May your beards never grow thin! ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

But that will leave no place for us!' cried Pippin in dismay. 'We don't want to be left behind. We want to go with Frodo.' 'That is because you do not understand and cannot imagine what lies ahead,' said Elrond. 'Neither does Frodo,' said Gandalf, unexpectedly supporting Pippin. "Nor do any of us see clearly. It is true that if these hobbits understood the danger, they would not dare to go. But they would still wish to go, or wish that they dared, and be shamed and unhappy. I think, Elrond, that in this matter it would be well to trust rather to their friendship than to great wisdom. Even if you chose for us an elf-lord, such as Glorfindel, he could not storm the Dark Tower, nor open the road to the Fire by the power that is in him. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

A darkness lies behind us, and we have turned our backs upon it, and we do not desire to return thither even in thought. Westwards our hearts have been turned, and we believe that there we shall find Light. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien