Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

Forgiveness is not an easy chore to undertake, nor is it for the weak. I forgive you, God, for leaving me out here to figure out all of this on my own. Yet forgiveness is the daily minimum requirement for a healthy, fulfilling, and meaningful life. I forgive my mind for believing that what was is what always has to be. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

The way to achieve your own success is to be willing to help somebody else get it first. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I came from nothing. I came from the projects and welfare and ended up a millionaire with no frame of reference. I was bound to hit a wall sooner or later. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Whether the apple is deemed a good sign or bad sign depends on what that person believes ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Beloveds, you are fine, just the way you are! Perfect in your imperfection! You are divine! Growing brighter and more brilliant each day, you can accept the truth of who you are. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Set an intention to heal any unexpressed anger that may be present in your life. Go to a quiet place with pen and paper. Take a few deep breaths. Ask your anger to speak to you. Write down the thoughts and feelings. When you are finished, forgive yourself for holding on to the anger for so long. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Stop chasing things that are beneath the truth of who you are. Stop holding on to things and people that weigh you down. Stop behaving in ways that don't honor the divinity and nobility within you. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

If you don't have a vision you're going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you've already seen. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

THE KEY TO SUCCESS is not what you do, it is how you feel about what you are doing. Success begins with a positive attitude, it is the most valuable asset we may own. Success begins with a good feeling about where we are and a positive attitude about where we want to be. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

There are going to be moments today you don't like me. You'll get over it. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

When you feel unprotected, unsupported and unprepared to take care of yourself, your insides will feel if you have been through a train wreck. The best way to describe this experience is that you are having a head on body collision between your wannabe and your can never be. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

You are the only one who can do it like you do it. You are the best. You have what it takes. You have the power. When you put your mind to something, you get it done. So what are you waiting for? ~ Iyanla Vanzant

A man who is not accountable to anyone is a danger to himself ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Instead of running from what you don't want, walk with commitment toward what you desire. Focus on where you are going rather than being obsessed with where you have been. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don't like about yourself. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

When two broken people bring their broken pieces together, chances are they will never become a whole anything. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

From speaking with my mother I learned that forgiveness is a process that begins with the choice to end your own suffering. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

When we find ourselves in the same situation repeatedly as a result of our conditioned responses, we must stop and do a new thing. The situation may look different. The route we take there may be altogether different. The lesson we must learn does not change. Get honest! Pay attention! Change what you do to create a change for yourself! ~ Iyanla Vanzant

To honor life, we must be willing to grow through what we don't know yet, and outgrow what we know no longer fits us. We must be willing to give in to the process, moment by moment, realizing a new plot may be unfolding. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I knew all of the childhood prayers I uttered on my knees at the side of my bed. Many years of Sunday-school attendance had etched certain Psalms and rote prayers into the fibers of my brain. However, somewhere deep inside of me, I had the secret belief that I did not know how to pray, and that frightened me. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

A change of perspective may be all it takes to transform a painful experience into a powerful growth experience. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I am not seeking anything but service to my creator. I do not need a house, I do not need a car, I do not need any of that, but to be present with each guest that sits across from me, and I am committed to a bigger thing than me, which is the vision of own, because own is going to outlive all of us. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

People are hurting. People are suffering. But you can not get everywhere. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

You cannot experience the fullness of your authentic self or life when you live to avoid hurt. You will never know the joy of love or the peaceful satisfaction of being loved if you hide from hurt. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I don't think anybody can be held accountable or responsible for anyone's behaviors expect the individual. This goes beyond that particular situation. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

It's about your heart and about your consciousness. It's not about length of time you pray. Some of the most powerful prayers I've ever heard come from children, who can barely speak. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We go into a relationship looking for love, not realizing that we must bring love with us. We must bring a strong sense of self and purpose into a relationship. We must bring a sense of value, of who we are. We must bring an excitement about ourselves, our lives, and the vision we have for these two essential elements. We must bring a respect for wealth and abundance. Having achieved it to some satisfactory degree on our own, we must move into relationships willing to share what we have, rather than being afraid of someone taking it. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Truth is love's mother, and we all know it is not wise to lie to anyone's mother. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We make our days pleasant or miserable. If we insist on being miserable, irritable and nasty, more than likely the day will give us exactly what we give it. A day is too valuable to waste on misery and unhappiness. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Know that all things are working in your favor. If you take one step toward the light of Spirit, Spirit will take five steps on your behalf. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

When I say to you, sister-woman, 'You out of order', that isn't an attack on you. I know what I'm looking at. I'm looking at your life, and I see what's there. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

A man can't be in the space where there is feminine rage and bitterness. He doesn't know how to navigate it. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Your divine mate already exists. When you get to the place in yourself that is peaceful divine love, your true mate will be revealed. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

What is it that would make a creature as fierce, majestic and powerful as a lion is, subject itself to the intimidation of a man a whip and a chair? The lion has been taught to forget what it is. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Begin within. If it shows up in your life, it's coming to tell you something about you that you're acting like you don't know. Something about yourself, or your relationship with God. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Stop hiding! Stop holding yourself back and playing yourself down! Stop worrying about how you look and what people are saying. Stop listening to what people are saying and trying to find out if they are whispering about you. Stop waiting for someone to tell you that you are okay or to make you feel special. Life is special! It is a special gift. This is your life! Now take your gift and live it out in the open! Decide today that you are going to live out loud! ~ Iyanla Vanzant

This is probably one of the most difficult challenges any parent could face - learning to love the other parent enough to make the children first. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie about who we are, what we want, what we need, what we have done or will do. Perhaps 'lie' is too strong a word. Let me say that what we do is withhold the truth. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

It's time for you to move, realizing that the thing you are seeking is also seeking you. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he became the filter through which I saw myself, the possibilities for my life, the world and all men. He was a conflicted and dark filter. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Love is durable. It's like Teflon ... Trust is like fine china. Secrets destroy trust. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

No matter how painful your past has been, you have made it through. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Everything God does is purposeful. And since God is in each of us, each of us has a purpose. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Your job, work, life assignment must be the spark that fuels your fire. It must be a passion that you pursue. You must want it enough to do it for free. You must be willing to stick with it, taking the ups and downs, giving it all that you are for as long as you can! You've got to taste it, smell it, know it whether you are awake or asleep. If you do not have a lustful passion for your work, you really need to find something else to do. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Comparison is an act of violence against the self. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Very often we claim to know something. We get an idea about what to do or not do, yet, for some reason our behavior doesn't change. At times, we just can't seem to do what we know. This is known as mental healing. Something has shifted in your thinking, but it has not reach the other levels of your being - the heart and the spirit. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Life doesn't actually knock you down. It does, however, provide you with many opportunities to evaluate your standing in life: what you stand on, what you stand for, how you stand within yourself and for yourself. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lived it and I'm still here to talk about it and help someone else if I can. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Till your mental soil with determination. Fertilize your emotional soil with positive words. And plant the seed of your heart's desire with your disciplined efforts. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I surround people in unconditional acceptance and love to such a degree that everything that is unloving about them rises to the surface. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

The road of life is strewn with the bodies of promising people. People who show promise, yet lack the confidence to act. People who make promises they are unable to keep. People who promise to do tomorrow what they could do today. Promising young stars, athletes, entrepreneurs who wait for promises to come true. Promise without a goal and a plan is like a barren cow. You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can't. Turn your promise into a plan. Make no promise for tomorrow if you are able to keep it today. And if someone calls you promising, know that you are not doing enough today. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

FORGIVENESS ADDRESSES HOW WE THINK AND FEEL ABOUT OTHERS AND OURSELVES AND HOW THOSE THOUGHTS MANIFEST WITHIN OUR LIVES AS ENERGY. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Finally and most important of all, authenticity means that you must do what you do the way you do it and allow everyone else the same courtesy. There was a time I wanted to be like every famous writer that ever lived. I tried to copy styles, reframe information, use similar artwork. I almost drove myself crazy! Now I just do what I do. I have mentors. There are people whose work I admire, but I write the way I write. I eat the way I eat. I dress the way I dress. I can't believe that God made us each so unique only to have us do everything the same way. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

WE [black women] HAVE ADAPTED TO A SOCIETY THAT DOES'NT HONOR US. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

An unpeaceful mind cannot hear God. Any unpeaceful feeling is the indicator that what I am thinking is forgivable. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

If you should encounter angry or unkind actions today, take a deep breath, reach deep within and greet the lack of love with love. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

People have a right to change their minds and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. People change. As people change, their needs change. When people have a need, it is their responsibility to themselves to see their needs are met. And it has absolutely nothing to do with you. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We live in a society where we're not taught how to deal with our weaknesses and frailties as human beings. We're not taught how to speak to our difficulties and challenges. We're taught the Pythagorean theorem and chemistry and biology and history. We're not taught anger management. We're not taught dissolution of fear and how to process shame and guilt. I've never in my life ever used the Pythagorean theorem! ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Do what brings you joy, and your purpose will unfold. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Feelings come and they pass. Whatever we are feeling in any given moment is just a passing experience. Our work is to learn to accept what we feel and to learn to let it pass. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

In the process of planning and having a wedding, I forgot there would actually be a marriage, a union of minds, bodies, souls, and issues that would come together as soon as the ceremony was over. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

The show is 'Fix My Life!' Get it? Life. I do not fix people. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Unworthiness always puts you in debt to anyone and everyone who shows you the slightest degree of attention or love or energy. Eventually, in this form of bankrupt relationship, your benefactors will demand or expect more than you are able or willing to give. This is the precise moment they will choose to call in the loan. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I had to get really clear about what was meaningful & what wasn't, who I was & who I wasn't & who I wasn't going to be anymore. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life will keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I have a body, but I am not my body. I have a face, but I am not my face. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Aggressive, or fine but the timing was just not right. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Sometimes on the journey, you step in dog poop. But you don't let the whole journey be about the fact that your shoe got poop on it. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Act the way you want to be and soon you will be the way you act. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Forgiveness leads to a shift in perception. It transforms the hurt into healing. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

As we learn to see each other through our spiritual eyes, the physical differences will cease to matter. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I am more troubled by the lack of space being provided for the truth to unfold. Humans cannot seem to wait for or honor the truth. Instead, we make it up based on who we believe people should or should not be. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

The goal isn't to be perfect, but to be authentic! ~ Iyanla Vanzant

If you don't have a test, you won't be able to have a testimony. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Tell your story because your story will heal you and it will heal someone else. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

For some reason,we keep forgetting some of our experience. We look back but don't bring the value forward. We bring the anger, the upset. We bring the fear. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We know how to be doctors, nurses, lawyers. We know how to be tweeters. We know how to be everything. But how do you just be people? How do you be present with one another? How do you be honest with one another? How do you be compassionate towards one another, forgiving towards one another? We know what to do. We don't know what to be, how to be. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Forgive yourself for believing that youre anything less than beautiful. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

You are the love you seek. You are the companionship you desire. You are your own completion, your own wholeness. You are your best friend, your confidant. 'You are,' as poetess Audre Lourde wrote, 'the one that you are looking for.' You are the only one who can do what you are looking for someone else to do. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

One way to eliminate self negating thoughts and behavior is by gaining more understanding through realizing that you cannot force others to see that what you feel is real. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them ~ Iyanla Vanzant

When Oprah Winfrey tells you that you need to have your own show, you feel compelled to do it. Especially if she's gonna pay for it! ~ Iyanla Vanzant

When there is breakdown in a relationship, you must have the hard conversation. It may not be pretty and it may not feel good. But if you are willing to listen and tell the truth, it will open
up. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Loving yourself has nothing to do with being selfish, self-centered or self-engrossed. It means that you accept yourself for what you are. Loving yourself means that you accept responsibility for your own development, growth and happiness. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

How do you spell peace? P-R-A-Y-E-R! Anything you believe you need is available to you through prayer. We are not talking here about a magic formula of proper and distinct words. Oh no! We are talking about opening your heart and your mouth, saying what's on your mind, knowing that once you do, the answer will be revealed. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Abundance is a direct reflection of your preparation to live abundantly. People who are ready for abundance keep their heads up, their eyes open and give thanks for everything they get. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

You cannot get to where you are going until you have learned all there is to learn about where you are. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

It is an honor and a privilege to be of service and support; however, I realize people are not putting their confidence in me. Instead, they are actually learning to trust themselves. My job is to affirm and support them in the process and teach them to do what I do when I need strength: I begin within. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Embrace the truth. Speak the truth. Be the truth. When we welcome the truth, we live our lives like it's golden. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

You have a right to your thoughts and feelings. Your feelings are always valid. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

You will stumble at time, forget what you want, fall headfirst into your old habits and beliefs. Fear not! Always remember to be patient and loving with yourself and others because that is what God does all the time. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

The event is not what you should be working on. You should be working on your response or reaction to an event. You either react to it - that means you become victimized, and you say this thing is happening to you - or you respond to it and say the solution must come through you - that's where you stay focused, not on the rightness, wrongness, fairness of the event, but on the appropriateness of your response. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We set the standard of how we want to be treated. Our relationships are reflections of the relationships we have with ourselves. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I believe that the only thing that will dispel the darkness is for the light to come on. And the lights are coming on. Here, there. People are eating more vegetables, living green, taking in and saving animals. All of that is the light coming on. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

At birth, we are like cartilage - soft, flexible tissue. By the same natural process by which cartilage becomes hard bone, the soft, tender heart of an innocent child can become hardened by the circumstances into which she is born. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Choice is our point of power. ~ Iyanla Vanzant