Hilarious Romance Quotes

His eyes were growing darker. They dipped to her lips. "Make any dirty cupcakes this week?"
"Yes. Two orders."
"What flavors?"
"No."
"No?"
"I don't want to tell you." She totally wanted to tell him. She wanted to watch his eyes go darker when she said the dirty words. And she wanted him to keep touching her cheek. And then touch her in other places. "You should stop."
"Probably. ~ Jamie Farrell

Okay, it's like this. You wake up, you watch TV, and you get in the car and you listen to the radio. You go to your little job or your little school, but you're not going to hear about that on the 6:00 news, since guess what. Nothing is really happening. You read the paper, or if you're into that sort of thing you read a book, which is just the same as watching only even more boring. You watch TV all night, or maybe you go out so you can watch a movie, and maybe you'll get a phone call so you can tell your friends what you've been watching. And you know, it's got so bad that I've started to notice, the people on TV? Inside the TV? Half the time they're watching TV. Or if you've got some romance in a movie? What to they do but go to a movie? All those people, Marlin," he invited the interviewer in with a nod. "What are they watching?"
After an awkward silence, Marlin filled in, "You tell us, Kevin."
"People like me. ~ Lionel Shriver

There were just four things a woman could be (five at most): daughter, wife, mother, widow, and slut. That was it. There were no other roles for them - no free and independent women, no feminism, no selfsufficiency. If you didn't like it, you could be branded a witch and executed. ~ Lina J. Potter

I want to focus on my salad. ~ Martha Stewart

Letting you would be agreeing to allow you to come if you asked if you could. ...... Asking you to come means I wanted you to come, and I asked you, because I wanted you here. ~ Scott Hildreth

What exactly did having needs mean, while he was on the subject? That Delaney needed to have sex? that she craved an orgasm? And if that were the case, why couldn't she just take care of the matter on her won in the privacy of her home without putting him through all this torture? Anything was preferable to the thought of her being with Jake. ~ Sarah Mayberry

The man's mouth fell open in shock and hurt. He slowly shook his head. "So the stories are true. You really are a brat! You smug bastard. You need someone to throw you over a knee --!"
"How dare you!" Mycaela snarled. He lifted his hand to strike the man and couldn't believe it when the juggler caught his wrist, holding it aloft. They glared at each other, and Mycaela felt small, like a twig caught in the branches of a tree. But now he was forced to really look at the juggler, whose brown muscular chest was in his face, and he grew distracted. The man was wearing nothing except a pair of very colorful, very tight leggings. They clung to his bulge and his buttocks, and he was built like a stallion, lean and taunt and powerful. Mycaela bit his lip, willing himself not to awaken and silently cursing himself for smoking a drug that was sometimes used as an aphrodisiac. ~ Ash Gray

That's why there's so little romance in our world now: everyone thinks romance is weak. ~ Michael Shurtleff

Harness the imagination: Sometimes curbing her, sometimes giving her rein, for she is the whole of happiness. She sets to rights even the understanding. She sinks to tyranny, not satisfied with mere faith, but demanding works. Thus she becomes the mistress of life itself. She does so with pleasure or with pain, according to the nonsense presented. She makes people contented or discontented with themselves. By dangling before some nothing but the specter of their eternal suffering, she becomes the scourge of these fools. To others she shows nothing but fortune and romance, while merrily laughing. Of all this she is capable if not held in check by the wisest of wills. ~ Baltasar Gracian

I want to hear one more of your stories
Tangle up in your dreams, give up the fight
'Pour one more glass of that wine
And I might not go home tonight... ~ Becky Wicks

Feel it, deal with it, then throw it away ~ Reyna Hawk

So you came over here to say hi? Are you that friendly to all the girls around here? Or just the ones in bikinis? ~ Evelyn Smith

There is something about you that I may never be able to express in these mere words. But someday, when we are sitting beside a window, on a calm evening, in most beautiful silence, with you leaning back on my chest, inside my arms. A breeze shall carry a song which has every word I always wanted to say etched in it and touch you gently. And I shall hug you more tightly while you hear every single word, and I shall see every spell of mine turning you into beautiful magic. ~ Akshay Vasu

To sore make bad energy, make innocent cry, Aisyx no spread pain plague. ~ Poppet

She tried to smile but all he could see was pain. ~ Pratibha Malav

This had already been the best sex she'd ever had and all he'd done was touch her. ~ Jill Shalvis

I woke myself up to make sure I wasn't dreaming, that Mike was really beside me. I kissed the pillow close up near his cheek because I didn't want to wake him. He opened one eye and grinned at me. "Don't waste 'em, kitten. ~ Benedict Freedman

I did not want passion, I did not want pleasure. Perhaps I didn't even want proof. And I did not want words, small talk, big talk, bike talk, book talk, any of it. Just the sun, the grass, the occasional sea breeze, and the smell of his body fresh from his chest, from his neck and his armpits. ~ Andre Aciman

You don't have to flay him with it. He's the son of a poet and has the soul of a bard. ~ Teal Ceagh

You going to make pulling a gun on me a regular part of foreplay?" Wes smirked. ~ Kait Ballenger

Just give me one night, Vanessa. One night, and I won't let you regret it. ~ Meredith Wild

He clutched her to him with a desperate strength that almost hurt. "I will love you for your light, if you can love me through the dark times. And that love will be like the clear night sky when the moon is full. Not like the sun....but beautiful and bright enough to find our way. ~ Kerrigan Byrne

A romance novel should leave readers joyous. My books all have happy endings. ~ Judith McNaught

Sweetheart, no one needs coffee, I just like the taste. Almost as much as I like the way you taste. ~ Katie Reus

Your cowboy persona meshed so well with the dreams Chris has of the torn and silent men she's been rejected by. The fact that you don't return messages turns your answerphone into a blank screen onto which we can project our fantasies. ~ Chris Kraus

Pete?" I say, my voice crackling. "Please don't die."
Pete gives me a dazzling smile and bows. "To die will be an awfully big adventure." He blows me a kiss and pulls the heavy door shut with a metallic clank, leaving me alone in the dark. ~ Wendy Spinale

Gravitation cant be held responsible for people falling in love. ~ Karsten Andersen

Love gives the best of highs
But also the worst of hangovers. ~ Justin Wetch

I was very excited to hone in on John Goodman. Casting John first really set the tone. He's very good at being terrifying and being hilarious, and I loved the idea of that character not being merely 'moustache-twirly'. I enjoyed being scared by him. ~ Dan Trachtenberg

And wasn't that what love was all about? Not the immediate bone-melting lust and roller-coaster emotions, but the promise of it all lasting, mellowing into something that got stronger, better every year. ~ Jane Davitt

He tugs me closer, and my ankles lock behind him. Is it PG-13 time? ~ Rachel Harris

No' seems such a flimsy and inadequate little word to express how very little interest I have in hearing you rambling on about that particular topic. ~ FayJay

I've been living in fear. I've been living only in books. Which is fine, but … I don't want to just read about romance anymore, Lili ~ C.M. Stunich

There was something about him that had always rubbed her the wrong way. Before her mother's death, she [Shiara] could remember her saying that he was a nice enough young man, but not the one for her daughter. ~ J.C. Morrows

They say love is all about raging hormones. For me, it's mind's way of breaking through its self-imposed limitations in order to set the eternally ecstatic soul free. ~ Saurabh Sharma

Is it possible to have some kind of genetic memory of a place where you've never lived, but your ancestors have? Or am I just a sentimental fool, my judgement fuddled by nostalgia, Guinness, and the romance of the diaspora? ~ Pete McCarthy

Seriously? You tried to ride a bucking horse?"
"You did the same thing."
He nodded. "But you're..."
"Female? You noticed." She grinned at him and realized she was flirting about the same time he did. ~ B. J. Daniels

It'd been a long time since they'd been together, but as close as they were physically, they'd never been so far apart in every other way. ~ Jennifer Faye