Domestic Violence Survivors Quotes

Housing waiting lists in the UK's local councils, who have a legal duty to help homeless and vulnerable people, are at an all-time high. With so much pressure on councils, domestic violence survivors can struggle to convince council employees they are a priority. Women have even spoken of being disbelieved when they disclose their need to flee because of violence. ~ Dawn Foster

You are not the darkness you endured.
You are the light that refused to surrender. ~ John Mark Green

The confusion of love with abuse is what allows abusers who kill their partners to make the absurd claim that they were driven by the depths of their loving feelings. The news media regrettably often accept the aggressors' view of these acts, describing them as "crimes of passion." But what could more thoroughly prove that a man did not love his partner? If a mother were to kill one of her children, would we ever accept the claim that she did it because she was overwhelmed by how much she cared? Not for an instant. Nor should we. Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person, wanting what is best for him or her, and supporting the other person's self-esteem and independence. This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion. ~ Lundy Bancroft

After you walked into my life, I was living and walking in fear every single day. You hypnotized me, and once upon a time, you were my favorite sin. I was exposed to evil in the worst way ever, but I know whether I survive in this coma or not, I have released any blocks, roots, soul ties, and attachments that once held me down."
~Love is respect ♥~ ~ Charlena E. Jackson

Not all men practice violence against women but all women live with the threat of male violence every single day. All over the Earth. ~ Fuad Alakbarov

The first step in Overcoming domestic violence begins with recognizing you are in an abusive relationship. ~ Grace Crockett

The most dangerous place for your life is in your home, as you probably know. Most people are killed by family or those they are relatively close to. Refuges for women are important to deal with this. But in the end there are certain risks you take – when you walk in the streets you might be hit by a car. ~ Nils Christie

We're number one in domestic violence homicides. We also have a high rate of alcohol abuse and drug abuse and there's a high lethality rate when you get those factors involved, so the shelter has 52 beds, certainly it is never empty. ~ Diane Birch

I don't make any notes, but I do know where to find things. Suppose I need to know where Wexford first talked about his love of the countryside or where he quotes Larkin or what was the beginning of his hatred of racism or where he first encountered domestic violence; I would be able to find it straight away. ~ Ruth Rendell

I want the society in which I live to be clear about the reality of our families; to know all the ways in which we avoid the issues of violence, abuse, and societal contempt; and to see survivors as more than victims. If we know more about what it means to survive abuse, we will be better able to help those still caught in the whole shameful secret world of physical and sexual violence. ~ Dorothy Allison

My heart has been bruised, and the scars will never heal because they will always be visible. Maybe they need to be visible as a reminder that I cannot go back."
~Love is respect ♥~ ~ Charlena E. Jackson

It is essential that children who are directly or indirectly affected by domestic violence receive psychological care. ~ Asa Don Brown

I let another human being dictate and control my life. I was used for amusement, and the joke was on me."
~Love is respect ♥~ ~ Charlena E. Jackson

Jemima Jane Erickson was one drunken pass away from jumping Ethan Weston's bones. He just didn't know it. ~ Amy Andrews

Children have very little voice, and the coroner's inquest is about Luke's voice, and making sure Luke is heard and respected and honoured. I don't want him to have died in vain. ~ Rosie Batty

Progress or lack of it, can only be judged by a measuring rod, and if the rod is placed low enough the standard will never threaten you ~ Sara Niles

If you are, or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please do not wait any longer, get help today. There are people who will help you. Please call. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 The National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 ~ Darlene Shortridge

JJ glared at his slumbering frame. Long legs, lethal in denim, his button fly already enticingly popped, abdomen all ridged and naked, begging for a finger or a tongue to discover the hills and valleys, dark shaggy hair spread around his head like a freaking halo on her pillow.
Well too damn bad for this broken-down angel. She was the one who'd worked her ass off until two am. Not him.
And she wanted her bed back. ~ Amy Andrews

Alcohol does not a change a person's fundamental value system. People's personalities when intoxicated, even though somewhat altered, still bear some relationship to who they are when sober. When you are drunk you may behave in ways that are silly or embarrassing; you might be overly familiar or tactlessly honest, or perhaps careless or forgetful. But do you knock over little old ladies for a laugh? Probably not. Do you sexually assault the clerk at the convenience store? Unlikely. People's conduct while intoxicated continues to be governed by their core foundation of beliefs and attitudes, even though there is some loosening of the structure. Alcohol encourages people to let loose what they have simmering below the surface.
ABUSERS MAKE CONSCIOUS CHOICES EVEN WHILE INTOXICATED ~ Lundy Bancroft

It's not enough for women to speak out on the issue - for the message to be strong and consistent, women's voices must be backed up by men's. ~ John Conyers

The question, 'Why does she stay?' is code for some people for, 'It's her fault for staying,' as if [domestic violence] victims intentionally choose to fall in love with men intent upon destroying us. ~ Leslie Morgan Steiner

The abusive man's high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands. His attitude is: "You owe me." For each ounce he gives, he wants a pound in return. He wants his partner to devote herself fully to catering to him, even if it means that her own needs - or her children's - get neglected. You can pour all your energy into keeping your partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he'll never be satisfied for long. And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn't believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities. ~ Lundy Bancroft

Do you ever worry you're being a teenager wrong?" I thought of the last three years. "I KNOW I'm being one wrong." "I mean, what's wrong with finding songs glorifying domestic violence offensive? What's wrong with finding live music too loud? What's wrong with a nice cup of tea and a chat? ~ Holly Bourne

The more dubious and uncertain an instrument violence has become in international relations, the more it has gained in reputation and appeal in domestic affairs, specifically in the matter of revolution. ~ Hannah Arendt

The class, on the other hand, buzzed and hummed with the anticipated pleasure of writing it up, one day. They were vindicated. Miss Fox belonged after all in the normal world of their writings, the world of domestic violence, torture and shock-horror. They would write what they knew, what had happened to Cicely Fox, and it would be most satisfactorily therapeutic. ~ A.S. Byatt

We are a society of excuses, shame and blame; we avoid accountability and often project our responsibility when involving domestic violence. ~ Asa Don Brown

This is not love. It is a crime ... You can't look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh. ~ Salma Hayek

It is my hope that this book helps those who know and love people with DID: family members, lovers, coworkers, and friends. It is also my hope that those charged with intervening in families in which there is violence will take away a more nuanced approach to their important work, informed by a deeper understanding of trauma.
Most of all, I hope that those of you who have DID know that the disorder itself is an incredible survival technique. You should feel proud to have survived. Trauma has had a major impact on my life, as it has on yours, but I've learned that my life extends beyond the pain and darkness. Survivors of trauma are full of life, creativity, courage, and love. We are more than the sum of our parts. ~ Olga Trujillo

Never Underestimate the Divine Strength of a Mother who appears Broken.....
This phrase, in the most reciprocal form, is powerful. A broken woman is perceived as weak, battered, useless, and incapable, among many other low states of Human life, effortlessly causing her to think it might be best to lie down and die. The thought represents a desperation to escape a pain more powerful than she. There is, but one superseding power, greater than the pain itself. You take this woman, who loves her kids to the highest degree of unselfishness and give her a hint they're suffering. A Divine Strength that can't be seen, perhaps not even felt will ignite a fire within her from miles away. No one in its path will see it coming, not even her. This strength indicates that she will go beyond any limits to protect her offspring even if it means rising to her death. There's no mountain too high, no fire too crucible, nor a fear she won't face, to ensure they are safe, both mentally and physically. The best part is, no matter how broken down she appears, or how robbed she may be, no one can take from her, what they don't know she possesses. Following the exhaustion of all other choices, this strength is activated, only when it's most necessary. It may never be discovered in a lifetime by many, but you can bet it's there when you need it most. It's in every one of us, festering, waiting for what may be the last moments of life or death. ~ L. Yingling

Don't play his game. Play yours. ~ Rachel Caine

Often things are as bad as they seem. ~ Sheldon B. Kopp

I conclude, at the beginning of the day, it is all about the choices I make. It is about what I am willing to sacrifice - one thing I do know, I am not willing, and I do not want to sacrifice my life for anyone, not even for you."
~Love is respect ♥~ ~ Charlena E. Jackson

Everyone heals in their own time and in their own way. The path isn't always a straight line, and you don't need to go it alone. ~ Zeke Thomas

Success will come when the societal attitude changes and not a single woman in America asks herself the question 'What did I do?'. ~ Joe Biden

People who harm you will blame you for it. Remember, an abuser will generally always play the victim, spin a story, tell everyone and they generally call you crazy. ~ Maranda Pleasant

The thing about secrets is they keep you in a prison. Once you share, WHOOSH, there is a release. ~ Joyce Meyer

I think I just said it, but I think it's worth repeating. They gave me hope that there is good in the world out there. There really is. It really does exist. Regardless of how bad things can be, and how down on your luck you can be, or how bad your trust is broken when it comes to warming up to people and all that stuff, I know that there's people out there that genuinely wanna help. Putting yourself in that position is a huge step, and it's a very risky and fragile step, but it's also a step that needs to be taken because there is help. And you can get through something like this. You really can. - Jim, from To the Survivors ~ Robert Uttaro

We live in a world in which women are battered and are unable to flee from the men who beat them, although their door is theoretically standing wide open. One out of every four women becomes a victim of severe violence. One out of every two will be confronted by sexual harassment over her lifetime. These crimes are everywhere and can take place behind any front door in the country, every day, and barely elicit much more than a shrug of the shoulders and superficial dismay. ~ Natascha Kampusch

There is one universal truth, applicable to all countries, cultures and communities: violence against women is never acceptable, never excusable, never tolerable. ~ Ban Ki-moon

We want to continue the efforts against domestic violence and spread the drug courts, and develop real effective means of providing treatment for drug abusers without having to have them arrested. ~ Janet Reno

Marriage is for committed lovers, not hostages. Marriage is a sacred relationship created for two people who complete each other spiritually. While it requires sacrificial service, it is not a call to martyrdom. In many cases of domestic violence, a therapeutic separation is necessary to gain safety and direct attention to the gravity of the need for change. ~ Rob Jackson

I've heard that people stand in bad situations because a relationship like that gets turned up by degrees. It is said that a frog will jump out of a pot of boiling water. Place him in a pot and turn it up a little at a time, and he will stay until he is boiled to death. Us frogs understand this. ~ Deb Caletti

There is a subconscious way of taking violence as a way of expression, as a normality, and it has a lot of effects in the youth in the way they absorb education and what they hope to get out of life. ~ Salma Hayek

Perpetrators of abuse often make their victims believe that they are somehow responsible for their own abuse. Such misplaced notions shift the blame of the abuse from the abuser to the abusee. ~ Dr. Mallika Nawal

Mentally, my heart is swollen, I manage to smile on the inside."
~Love is respect ♥~ ~ Charlena E. Jackson

The louder he shouts,
The weaker is his self confidence! ~ Nitya Prakash