Cleverest Halloween Quotes

Remember that when a women gets the job you wanted or dates that bloke you fancied or wears a dress you loved but couldn't afford, she hasn't taken anything from you. There is time and space for you to do it too. One of the cleverest things the patriarchy did was make us believe that there is only one tiny sliver of success cake available; that we all have to fight over it; that a woman who tramples on her competitors to chow it down first is somehow 'ruthless' or to borrow a phrase from Apprentice-ese, 'a natural business mind.' This is a scare-mongering lie. There are so many cakes to eat. And if you can't find the slice you want, try baking one. Cake for everyone! Let them eat cake! I've got lost in the metaphor. ~ Scarlett Curtis

So did Caspian leave this behind when he went off to college or something?'
'No.'
Don't say it. Please don't say it.
'He died a little more than two years ago in a car accident. Right after Halloween ~ Jessica Verday

A text comes from Wallace.

An actual text too, not a message through the forum app. I gave him my number awhile back, before Halloween, but not because I wanted him to call me or anything. I wrote it on the edge of our conversation paper in homeroom and slid it over to him because sometimes I see something and think, Wallace would laugh at that, I should send him a picture of it, but the messaging app is terrible with pictures and texting is way better.

So he texts me now, and it's a picture. A regular sweet potato pie. Beneath the picture, he says, I really like sweet potato pie.

I text back, Yeah, so do I.

Then he sends me a picture of his face, frowning, and says, No, you don't understand.

Then another picture, closer, just his eyes. I REALLY like sweet potato pie.

A series of pictures comes in several-second intervals. The first is a triangular slice of pie in Wallace's hand. Then Wallace holding that slice up to his face - it's soft enough to start collapsing between his fingers. The next one has him stuffing the slice into his mouth, and in the final one it's all the way in, his cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk's, and he's letting his eyes roll back like it's the best thing he's ever eaten.

I purse my lips to keep my laugh in, but my parents are fine-tuned to the slightest hint of amusement from me, and they both look up.

"What's so funny, Eggs?" Dad says.

"Nothing," ~ Francesca Zappia

Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum. ~ David Letterman

With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000. ~ Jay Leno

There were things that Pumpkin Head - now not Pumpkin Head anymore - had to do to be a girl. He had to be careful how he dressed, and how he acted. He had to be careful how he talked, and he always had to be calm. He was very frightened of what would happen if he didn't stay calm. For his face was really just a wonderful plastic one. The real Pumpkin Head was still inside, locked in, waiting to come out. ~ Al Sarrantonio

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. ~ Chris Rock

I haven't put on a baseball uniform since about age 12. It's like I'm wearing a Halloween costume. I'm pretending to be a ballplayer. ~ Ken Fox

With Halloween on a Monday this year, that gives people a chance to have parties on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. ~ Suzanne Smith

Two opposing things can be equally true. Counting the days till Christmas doesn't mean we hate Halloween. I go to church on Sundays, and still hold the same faith at the pub on Saturday night. I shamelessly play a steady stream of eighties pop music and likewise have an undying devotion to Chopin. And perhaps most significantly: I love to travel and I love my home. ~ Tsh Oxenreider

Let's say you go to a friend's wedding, or Thanksgiving, or Halloween. It'd be great the next day to see what went on with your friends' Thanksgiving weekend, or all the costumes they wore on Halloween, and be able to look back and see what they wore the year before, and the year before that. ~ Mike McCue

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. ~ Katharine McPhee

Jagged needle, wicked lies
From under the skin, pluck evil eyes.
Destiny change from pain and cold
Now that you pay in blood and soul. ~ Lawren Leo

Whoever possesses abundant joy must be a good man: but he is probably not the cleverest man, although he achieves exactly what it is that the cleverest man strives with all his cleverness to achieve. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story. ~ Mason Cooley

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

he pretty much slipped his ass over my face like a Halloween mask. I had never been so happy in my life.

Inman,John. Ben and Shiloh (The Belladonna Arms Book 4) (Kindle Location 1941). Dreamspinner Press. Kindle Edition. ~ John Inman

When it came time to go trick-or-treating Buster knew which houses to skip.
"Don't go there," he said. "They only give apples."
"Gross," said Francine.
"And don't go to the big house on the corner," said Buster. "That's the witch's house."
"My brother saw someone go in there last Halloween and he never came out."
Arthur tried not to look afraid.
Arthur and his sister had trouble keeping up with the others.
First D.W. got her tail caught.
Then her bag broke.
"You're such a pain in the neck," said Arthur.
"D.W. must be short for Dim Wit."
But D.W. didn't answer.
Arthur turned around just in time to see her disappear into the witch's house. ~ Marc Brown

Did you know that Halloween started because long ago people believed that one day a year at the end of the fall harvest, the spirits would return to walk the earth? On that day, people wore masks so the spirits wouldn't recognize them. ~ R.L. Stine

After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers. ~ Emily Luchetti

And the band - oh, sweet mercy - the band. They're like a cross between mini Justin Biebers and the Jonas Brothers, and the Halloween covers they're playing make my ears bleed. ~ Victoria Scott

Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I always go all-out with my costumes. ~ Ginnifer Goodwin

I start lighting pine-scented candles the day after Halloween. ~ Mary Page Keller

For him, Halloween was not All Hallows Eve ~ Susan Cooper

Pop culture is more and more about skulls and skeletons and zombies and vampires, and that's not just on Halloween. ~ Michael Almereyda

Many cultures believe that on a certain day - Halloween, the Irish Samhain Eve, Mexico's 'Dia de los Muertos' - the veil between this world and the next is especially thin. ~ Michael Dirda

These five teens are convinced it was not a prank. They all believe this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypse we hear so much about. But I'm not so sure I believe their story - not this close to Halloween."
The girl with the ponytail frowned at him. "I know what I saw," she said. "They are here! ~ R.L. Stine

Being alone is not the most awful thing in the world. You visit your museums and cultivate your interests and remind yourself how lucky you are not to be one of those spindly Sudanese children with flies beading their mouths. You make out To Do lists - reorganise linen cupboard, learn two sonnets. You dole out little treats to yourself - slices of ice-cream cake, concerts at Wigmore Hall. And then, every once in a while, you wake up and gaze out of the window at another bloody daybreak, and think, I cannot do this anymore. I cannot pull myself together again and spend the next fifteen hours of wakefulness fending off the fact of my own misery.

People like Sheba think that they know what it's like to be lonely. They cast their minds back to the time they broke up with a boyfriend in 1975 and endured a whole month before meeting someone new. Or the week they spent in a Bavarian steel town when they were fifteen years old, visiting their greasy-haired German pen pal and discovering that her hand-writing was the best thing about her. But about the drip drip of long-haul, no-end-in-sight solitude, they know nothing. They don't know what it is to construct an entire weekend around a visit to the laundrette. Or to sit in a darkened flat on Halloween night, because you can't bear to expose your bleak evening to a crowd of jeering trick-or-treaters. Or to have the librarian smile pityingly and say, 'Goodness, you're a quick reader!' when you bring back seven books, read fro ~ Zoe Heller

For our purpose, however, what the soldiers did or did not read is irrelevant. For, if soldiers did not learn to fight their battles from reading books, neither is it likely that military historians learned to write their books from watching battles. Battles are extremely confusing; and confronted with the need to make sense of something he does not understand, even the cleverest, indeed preeminently the cleverest man, realizing his need for a language and metaphor he does not possess, will turn to look at what someone else has already made of a similar set of events as a guide for his own pen. ~ John Keegan

It was a huge creature, luminous, ghastly, and spectral. I have cross-examined these men, one of them a hard-headed countryman, one a farrier, and one a moorland farmer, who all tell the same story of this dreadful apparition, exactly corresponding to the hell-hound of the legend. I assure you that there is a reign of terror in the district, and that it is a hardy man who will cross the moor at night. ~ Arthur Conan Doyle

The school year progressed slowly. I felt as if I had been in the sixth grade for years, yet it was only October. Halloween was approaching. Coming from Ireland, we had never thought of it as a big holiday, though Sarah and I usually went out trick-or treating. For the last couple of years I had been too sick to go out, but this year Halloween fell on a day when I felt quiet fine. My mother was the one who came up with the Eskimo idea. I put on a winter coat, made a fish out of paper, which I hung on the end of a stick, and wrapped my face up in a scarf. My hair was growing in, and I loved the way the top of the hood rubbed against it. By this time my hat had become part of me; I took it off only at home. Sometimes kids would make fun of me, run past me, knock my hat off, and call me Baldy. I hated this, but I assumed that one day my hair would grow in, and on that day the teasing would end.

We walked around the neighborhood with our pillowcase sacks, running into other groups of kids and comparing notes: the house three doors down gave whole candy bars, while the house next to that gave only cheap mints. I felt wonderful. It was only as the night wore on and the moon came out and the older kids, the big kids, went on their rounds that I began to realize why I felt so good. No one could see me clearly. No one could see my face. ~ Lucy Grealy

My folks made me a Jawa costume for the Halloween after 'Star Wars' opened in '77. In '78, when it was re-released, I was hired by the local cinema to be the Jawa: to dress up all summer long, and I could frighten people with my Jawa sounds and my Jawa outfit and watch 'Star Wars Episode IV' all summer long and get paid with movie passes. ~ Dee Bradley Baker