Astrologer Quotes

As you will have no doubt foreseen...

- Kelvin McKenzie, The Sun's editor; Preamble of the letter he sent to the paper's astrologer he was firing ~ Kelvin MacKenzie

THE GLOBAL GAME RUNNING ON MYTHOLOGICAL GOD PRINCIPLES.WHICH ARE UNKNOWN MYSTERY WONDERS DIVINE CONCEPT CREATION SINCE INCEPTION OF GIGANTIC UNIVERSE SO,ASTROLOGY WILL FLASH THE SECRETS OF UNIVERSE SHOW AS PER TIME SCHEDULE.A SOUND ASTROLOGER CUM MANTHRA SIDDHI SAINT PERSON ONLY REVEALS THE TRUTH IN TIME.NOTHING IS UNDERSTOOD TO ANYONE BEFORE TIME.SO,WAIT AND SEE. ~ Various

EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER ONE
MY LIFE ON CRAIGSLIST

Stars and Cards Never Lie

Date: 2011-04-1, 9:17PM EST

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Chapter 1
Four Cookies and a Funeral



Yesterday I went on Craigslist and hired a Tarot reader to tell me whether I was in any danger of losing my job. I wasn't really worried because last week, an astrologer I'd also found on Craigslist, had told me there was no major movement in the sixth house, which is the area of my chart that governs work. But just in case, I met with the Tarot card reader who told me everything was going to be okay.
Today I got canned. ~ Alexandra Ares

Frankly, I'll believe in horoscopes the day I can describe my personality to an astrologer and they tell me what date I was born. ~ Seth Shostak

In her desperation she consulted Penny Thornton, an astrologer introduced to her by Sarah Ferguson. Diana admitted to Penny that she couldn't bear the pressure of her position any longer and that she had to leave the system. "One day you will be allowed out but you will be allowed out as opposed to divorcing," Penny told her, confirming Diana's existing opinion that she would never become queen. ~ Andrew Morton

It would seem, O Nushain, that you have doubted your own horoscope,' said the guide, with a certain irony. 'However, even a bad astrologer, on occasion, may read the heavens aright. Obey, then, the stars that decreed your journey. ~ Clark Ashton Smith

FREEDLEY: Will I feel better after I take it? DR. FITCH (coldly): I, am a physician, Freedley, not an astrologer. If you want a horoscope, there's a gypsy tearoom over on Lexington Avenue. ~ S.J Perelman

It sounds superficially fair. But it presupposes that that there is something in Christian theology to be ignorant about. The entire thrust of my position is that Christian theology is a non-subject. It is empty. Vacuous. Devoid of coherence or content. I imagine that McGrath would join me in expressing disbelief in fairies, astrology and Thor's hammer. How would he respond if a fairyologist, astrologer or Viking accused him of ignorance of their respective subjects? ~ Richard Dawkins

Anyone can be a millionaire, but to become a billionaire you need an astrologer. ~ J. P. Morgan

It became apparent to enthusiasts of locomotive travel that there was at least one unscheduled train on the tracks of Palimpsest. It did not stop at any of the stations, for one thing. Astrologers and geologists were consulted; they are much the same folk in this part of the world. The astrologer gazes upward and scries out shapes in the sky, and to do this he builds great towers so as to be closest to the element of his choice. The geologist is an astrologer who once, just once, happened to look down. From such great heights she glimpses the enormous shapes stamped on the earth, the long polygons made by the borders of farms and rivers and mill towns, littoral masses and city walls, a reflection of the celestial mosaic. In these loamy constellations Palimpsest is but a decorative flourish; they are so vast and complex that in her lifetime the geologist may chart but the tiniest part of the conterration which contains her tower. It is a long and lonely life to which few are called. ~ Catherynne M Valente

A scientist places an ad in a Paris newspaper offering a free horoscope. He receives about 150 replies, each, as requested, detailing a place and time of birth. Every respondent is then sent the identical horoscope, along with a questionnaire asking how accurate the horoscope had been. Ninety-four per cent of the respondents (and 90 per cent of their families and friends) reply that they were at least recognizable in the horoscope. However, the horoscope was drawn up for a French serial killer. If an astrologer can get this far without even meeting his subjects, think how well someone sensitive to human nuances and not overly scrupulous might do. ~ Carl Sagan

The well padded astrologer stroked his corpulent belly, as he stared down intently at his cowrie board. There was a frown on his moon shaped face, a face that had always considered good rich food his birthright, even as he strove to read the cryptic messages that the Gods were strewing before him. ~ Deepti Menon

But we believe that the Octavo must be read to avert catastrophe - otherwise why did the Creator leave it behind?" "Perhaps He was just forgetful," suggested the astrologer. ~ Terry Pratchett

The heart is an astrologer that always divines the truth. ~ Pedro Calderon De La Barca

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There is talk of a new astrologer [Nicolaus Copernicus] who wants to prove that the earth moves and goes around instead of the sky, the sun, the moon, just as if somebody were moving in a carriage or ship might hold that he was sitting still and at rest while the earth and the trees walked and moved. But that is how things are nowadays: when a man wishes to be clever he must ... invent something special, and the way he does it must needs be the best! The fool wants to turn the whole art of astronomy upside-down. However, as Holy Scripture tells us, so did Joshua bid the sun to stand still and not the earth.
[Martin Luther stating his objection to heliocentrism due to his Scripture's geocentrism] ~ Martin Luther

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What do you want to know from the astrologer, akka?" "Will I get married? Or will I have to stay single all my life? ~ Sumeetha Manikandan

Hey Guys, I met a wonderful astrologer and I feel he is very helpful to me. Checkout his profile at panditdesraj.com ~ AJ

To the astrologer, or at least to what I call the analytical astrologer, the natal chart virtually represents a living map to the kingdom of heaven which lies within. ~ Alice O. Howell

And, in fine, of false sciences I thought I knew the worth sufficiently to escape being deceived by the professions of an alchemist, the predictions of an astrologer, the impostures of a magician, or by the artifices and boasting of any of those who profess to know things of which they are ignorant. ~ Rene Descartes

I'm getting into all sorts of L.A. things. I go to bikram yoga, I went to an astrologer recently ... I'm accepting L.A. for who she is. She's a dark temptress. ~ Casey Wilson

1:337-338
GREAT CHANGES IN ME I CANNOT DESCRIBE

I told the local astrologer that the fact that he doesn't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. A lover may perceive a certain light in the beloved's face that another person can't. A healthy person tastes a variety of flavorings in food that a patient with a coated tongue cannot. To the sick everything tastes bitter.

Great changes and shifts occur in me that I cannot describe, but they are very real. Ways open. A fragrance from the divine comes through. No one sees this, but it is the most profound event in my life. Friendship cannot be seen or measured, but the experience of living within it is beyond argument. Words like belief, righteousness, and faith can be used however a debater wants. With Hasan the silk-weaver recently I spoke of the power of the Islamic prophets. Then he used my words to support his free-thinking lineage.

Soul comes here from the unseen to observe this world, the body, the night, and the sunlit morning landscape, saying, I have seen this; now show me your other properties, Lord of the universes (3:26). ~ Bahauddin

Courteous Reader, Astrology is one of the most ancient Sciences, held in high esteem of old, by the Wise and the Great. Formerly, no Prince would make War or Peace, nor any General fight in Battle, in short, no important affair was undertaken without first consulting an Astrologer. ~ Benjamin Franklin

I wanted to be an actor, an astrologer, an astronaut; a lot of different things were going through my mind. But I also wanted to play guitar. I mentioned to my parents that I wanted an electric guitar for Christmas. They got me one! I sat there all Christmas morning making a lot of loud horrible noise. ~ Joan Jett

I am a Lutheran astrologer, I throw away the nonsense and keep the hard kernel. ~ Johannes Kepler

All a man can see while looking at the sky are cosmic fossils of thousands and millions of years ago. The only thing an astrologer can predict, is the past. ~ Jostein Gaarder

People give ear to an upstart astrologer who strove to show that the earth revolves, not the heavens or the firmament, the sun and the moon. Whoever wishes to appear clever must devise some new system, which of all systems is of course the very best. This fool wishes to reverse the entire science of astronomy; but the sacred scripture tells us that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still, not the earth. ~ Martin Luther

White spiders, demon-headed and large as monkeys, had woven their webs in the hollow arches of the bones; and they swarmed out interminably as Nushain approached; and the skeleton seemed to stir and quiver as they seethed over it abhorrently and dropped to the ground before the astrologer. Behind them others poured in a countless army, crowding and mantling every ossicle. ~ Clark Ashton Smith

Strange an astrologer should die, without one wonder in the sky. ~ Jonathan Swift

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Fuck you. From now on, I am making my own destiny. ~ Gaurav Parab

The charlatan is always the pioneer. From the astrologer came the astronomer, from the alchemist the chemist, from the mesmerist the experimental psychologist. The quack of yesterday is the professor of tomorrow. ~ Arthur Conan Doyle

Also usually employed one or more resident physicians, barbers, priests, painters, musicians, minstrels, secretaries and copyists, an astrologer, a jester, and a dwarf, besides pages and squires. ~ Barbara W. Tuchman

Ancient astrology was rather different from the modern
horoscope. Its more learned practitioners enjoyed intellectual respectability, and there was a substantial overlap between astrology and philosophy. People would consult astrologers on anything, from the time and manner in which they were going to die to who was likely to win in the chariot-races that afternoon.
The chronology of the origins and development of astrology are impossible to establish, and were debated even in the ancient world. Suffice it to say here that the Western tradition was one of many traditions: Indian, Chinese, Middle Eastern. It was Ptolemy, the Hellenistic geographer and astrologer, who first laid the technical foundations of Western astrology in his Tetrabiblos
('Four Books'). But the rise in the prominence of astrology was closely tied to the Roman imperial regime. It greatly benefited emperors to have their sovereignty 'written in the stars'. ~ Helen Morales