Alan Partridge Lynn Quotes

Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, you'll feel no different, and that's your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes. ~ Alan Partridge

A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women. ~ Alan Partridge

1974 was a crazy, hazy time for Alan Partridge. The Sixties had come to East Anglia and it was a time of free thinking, free love and in my case free university accommodation. ~ Alan Partridge

my remarkable walked ~ Alan Partridge

Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine. ~ Alan Partridge

Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, it's 10:10.'11 It ~ Alan Partridge

Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell. ~ Alan Partridge

Surveillance isn't easy, though. You'll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, t'other for wee) and for God's sake remember your sandwiches. ~ Alan Partridge

Well suited to those with large shoulders and feet like spades, swimming enjoyed a boost in popularity in Victorian times when, due to advancements in water husbandry, we were able to domesticate H2O, trapping large amounts of it in four-sided pits or 'pools'. I ~ Alan Partridge

My heart is, in the wise words of Billy Ray Cyrus, achy breaky. ~ Alan Partridge

Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. And I did not want to end up with the tea-drinking equivalent of AIDS. ~ Alan Partridge

The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills. ~ Alan Partridge

The human brain comprises 70% water, which means it's a similar consistency to tofu. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. It would burst wouldn't it?
Okay, now imagine those thumbs weren't thumbs but thumb-shaped pieces of bad news. And there weren't two of them, they were about half a dozen. Imagine you were forcing all six pieces of bad news - a divorce, multiple career snubs, accusations from the family of a dead celebrity, estranged kids, borderline homelessness, that kind of thing - into a piece of tofu.
With me? Good. Now imagine it's not tofu, but a human brain. And they're not pieces of bad news but six human thumbs. That's what happened to me. In 2001, my brain had half a dozen thumbs pushed into it. ~ Alan Partridge

Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit. ~ Alan Partridge

Sport, on the other hand, is straightforward. In badminton, if you win a rally, you get one point. In volleyball, if you win a rally, you get one point. In tennis, if you win a rally, you get 15 points for the first or second rallies you've won in that game, or 10 for the third, with an indeterminate amount assigned to the fourth rally other than the knowledge that the game is won, providing one player is two 10-point (or 15-point) segments clear of his opponent. It's clear and simple. ~ Alan Partridge

Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman. ~ Alan Partridge

Hello, Alan." said Carol's dad Keith.
"Hello, Alan." said Carol's mum, Stella, not bothering to think of a greeting of her own. ~ Alan Partridge

He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign. ~ Alan Partridge

It is easy, and therefore uninspiring, to love within the norms of acceptance and society. Other than ones own heart, there is no great risk involved; it's all very status quo. The same is tired, but what's outside-the-norm is captivating and gets under people's skin, pushing their buttons, making them think and revealing their depth as a person, or their lack thereof. It's love against obstacles that inspires the most – a love that faces and ultimately endures through challenges, hardship and ridicule that is courageous and triumphant. ~ Donna Lynn Hope

Out of Mind spring in-numerable things, conditioned by discrimination (i.e., classification) and habit-energy; these things people accept as an external world. ... ~ Alan W. Watts

The doorbell rang during dinner. Alan got up to answer, saying, "If it's the missionaries I might let them in. I'm too tired to put up a fight. ~ Sara Zarr

Perspective is worth 80 IQ points. ~ Alan Kay

Georgian England, to see those wonderful houses being built. And the clothes were interesting too, although I wouldn't want to wear a wig. It's also the most beautiful period of English landscape gardening. They had famous gardeners like Capability Brown. ~ Alan Titchmarsh

As a private lawyer, I could bill $750 an hour, but I don't. ~ Jay Alan Sekulow

Everyone will think I'm ugly."
Tik Tok smiled. "That's true. But we are a small village. We have narrow tastes. There's no telling who else in the world would think you're beautiful. ~ Jodi Lynn Anderson

I've been dog rough, half blind and barking mad for years but you don't catch me going on about it. ~ Alan Moore

The gospel teaches us that true beauty is more than skin-deep. A young woman whose countenance is aglow with both happiness and virtue radiates inner beauty. ~ Lynn G. Robbins

I've had such a satisfying life professionally and personally. I hope my tombstone says, 'Never boring.' ~ Alan Dershowitz

When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books. ~ Alan King

What the hell was up with her nicknames anyway? Sunshine. Daisy. Candy. All bright, sweet things. She should insist on being called Spider or something. Darken her image a bit. ~ Cherrie Lynn

If you come near him like that again, I will go straight country bitch on you. ~ Cherrie Lynn

If it were really up to me, I would study literature and creative writting. I would major it it, if I really could. But whose life these days are really up to the person living it? ~ Molly Lynn Robinson

I am brother to dragons, and companion to owls. My skin is black upon me, and my bones are burned with heat. ~ Alan Moore

Testing is fundamentally a pragmatic endeavor, a trade-off between the cost of writing tests and the cost of failures that could have been prevented by tests. ~ Alan A. A. Donovan

Ooh, sweetie, we all know people only see what they want to see. ~ Trevor Alan Foris