Sam Levenson Quotes

You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.

When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?

The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

You can't start at the top.

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed.

It's not the sugar that makes the tea sweet, but the stirring.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.
...
We leave you a tradition with a future.
The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete.
People even more than things have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed.
Never throw out anybody.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
Your "good old days" are still ahead of you, may you have many of them.

If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.

A woman's place is in the home. Why should she go out and take away a workingman's pay instead of staying home and stealing out of his jacket like a good wife.

The reason God made man before woman was that he didn't want any suggestions.

I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.

The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.

Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village

The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy ... It has become more important to be a smart kid than a good kid or even a healthy kid.

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don't know why, he does.

One antidote for sexual truancy lies in simply teaching youth the wonder, the miracle, the reverence for the creation of life itself. Life is a divine creation. You don't take chances with creation.

Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.

At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only way most of us got through.

The longest word in the world is "a word from our sponsor."

The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.

You don't have to be in "Who's Who" to know what's what.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.