Paul Lynde Quotes

A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

I was obsessed with being rich and famous.

Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that.

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.

I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.

I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.

Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe by adding spices, things of my own. I also look for time-saving recipes, dishes that can be prepared ahead and stored.

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!

Women are my best friends, my best audience. If I look out from the stage and see a lot of men, I know I'm in trouble

Politicians ... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.

Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.

I laughed all the way through Love Story.