Michael Keaton Quotes

I have some tremendous, tremendously loving, generous friends all over the world.

I was raising a child full time, sharing the responsibility with his mom. He lived with me half the time, so I chose not to go away and make certain movies.

There are certainly producers I hang with and directors I hang with and actors I hang with.

I'd get scripts and think: 'What's the point of this?'

Filmmaking is the ultimate team sport.

I didn't go to church all the time, just 'cause I was an antsy kid.

One thing my mother had a nose for was inauthenticity.

To this day, I have the most fond memories of some of my old toys.

I'm getting more and more bored with professional sports, but I still watch.

In the household in which I was raised, the themes were pretty simple. 'Work hard. Don't quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.'

I really believed that Batman had the potential to be one of the coolest guys in cinema.

I have a lot of energy, and I move around a lot in my club act.

I'm claustrophobic.

My brothers were tremendous shack builders. My shacks were horrible. My brothers once built a two-story shack from the ground up that was awesome!

When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny.

I get kinda self-conscious. I don't want to know about my eyebrows. I'm born with them.

I hope this doesn't sound pretentious, but I very often like the way Europeans make movies. I think sometimes that don't they care about having to clean certain things.

I remember my mom threatening me, half-serious: 'You know what? I should take you to Pittsburgh and put you in dance lessons just to keep you occupied.' Well, that brought everything to a screeching halt. 'Jeeze, dance lessons.' In retrospect, it would have been awesome, but then, 'Ugh, dancing - dancing's for sissies.'

Anesthesia is quite remarkable. It's lost time. And you wake up kind of refreshed.

Dogberry: Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.

Ahhh ... It's good to be young and insane.

I guess I'm probably a Method actor; I don't know ... I just think of it as staying in the zone.

You tell me another gang that's got a dental plan.

I'm the seventh child of George and Leona Douglas, and I don't ever remember a time when my father didn't work two jobs. When my mother was going to the grocery, or going to Mass, or trying to take care of seven kids in a run-down farmhouse.

People, when they talk or write about comedy, they don't really get it.

Sometimes I don't feel like an actor. Sometimes I speak about it like it was another job, and then I go, 'Wait a minute - I am one!'

I can't sleep the first night in a hotel room.

If you're a dope like me, you get every sports channel you can get. I'm watching, you know, Netherlands soccer.

I always think that I'm not going to be right for a movie or that there's someone else who can do it better.

My work is distinct and definitive and specific, and hopefully it is so that every single character is different, and they are - but there's probably an underlying element that's me.

I try to not be or associate with elitists.

I choose not to be at the whim of others. I want to be at my own whim.

Anyone can be a celebrity now; this is not a big deal anymore.

I saw some Pixar movies like 'The Incredibles' and thought, 'This is extraordinary. These are some of the best movies I've seen.'

Guys never really get over their toys.

I read that John Hughes script for 'Mr. Mom,' and I thought, 'This guy is a funny writer.' I went: 'You ought to stick around and direct this thing.' But he didn't; he left, and look what he became. A really legendary comedy director.

Chris Guest movies are funny.

If you look at what I do, there's no consistency. The consistency is that there is no consistency. I do projects that are good and not so good.

Unpredictability means what it means. I don't know how you define it. It is what it is.

I always thought what made 'Beetlejuice' look so great was because it looked like some genius kid made it in his basement.

I've got a statue of St. Francis in my front yard, and I'm not even a practicing Catholic.

Yeah, I had to change my name because there were two other actors registered at Equity with that name.

To say directing was a long-stewing ambition doesn't cover it. If you cut me open, you'd see it.

There are times when I consciously give the character something physical - a walk, the way he sits, how he talks, or his lack of physicality, which is like a physicality.

I'm just shocked at how blatantly shallow people are sometimes.

Is this a great country, or what?

I'm usually pretty good in front of a live audience. I usually like that.

If you get a good comedy once a year, man, that's pretty good. I may be pickier than some, but still, there aren't that many movies that are really, truly, honestly that funny.

I saw 'Wild,' and I thought, 'Wow, this is a lot of things, but one of the things is it's a therapist's dream and a climate-change denier's nightmare.'

Generally, I move in the direction of art.

I'm envious of writers and musicians. I think it must be so difficult. Not just the frustration, but the discipline.

I come from a background where you don't really talk about yourself much.

The vast majority of Pittsburghers don't come from any kind of serious dough.

Sometimes I do movies that aren't any good, or sometimes I might not be any good in them, or sometimes they don't do very well.

I don't know how to not be outside since I was a little kid.

I was so gullible as a kid.

David Letterman used to say, 'I wasn't the class clown, but I wrote for him,' and that's exactly it. You want to be known to be funny without having it pointed out.

My first day in grade school, I was plain scared. I left the comfort of my run-down house, which I loved, and went to school where it was cold, it smelled, the lighting was bad.

Westerns were always my favorite things when I was little. And it always bothered me when cowboys were too clean in movies, or when they wore their guns like they had an outfit on. It always worked better when a guy looked sweaty and smelly; I hadda believe, I hadda believe that.

You don't get bored with stuff like 'Birdman.'

I don't know - sometimes I catch myself being dark, and it's annoying. I think, 'Get over it.' I bore myself. But sometimes, like everybody, I'm sure I am obsessive.

Chris Nolan is great, but I've never seen any of the 'Batman' movies all the way through. I know they're good. I just have zero interest in those kinds of movies.

Guys who go on and on about loving women usually don't.

From an art perspective, I don't know how you get better than 'Beetlejuice.' In terms of originality and a look, it's 100% unique.

I'll always stand by the first 'Batman'. Even for its imperfections, people will never know how hard that movie was to do. A lot of that still holds up.

In our family, my brothers and I shared toys. In other words, just because it was mine didn't mean my brothers and I didn't play with it.

In high school, I was too shy to perform. It's one thing to get laughs from your family, to be funny at parties and in class. It's another thing to get up on the stage.

I never knew anyone who was cloned, but I played one in 'Multiplicity.'

Historically, I'm not a great patient when it comes to slowing down.

'Beetlejuice' was a romp, man. 'Beetlejuice' was fun. I've never had so much fun in my life.

Weirdly, for someone who wanted to be funny, I didn't like a lot of attention.

I took my play very seriously, and I got way, way lost in my play world.

Have I ever been to a party with a ton of famous people in it? Yes, several times, so I guess that's a Hollywood lifestyle.

It's great to make your own choices, but there's a price to pay. I could've made more money or been more famous. I could be the current groovy guy.