Graham Norton Quotes

I don't think anyone wants to be gay.

The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky.

In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much!

My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'

Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do.

Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean.

If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win.

Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.

The rooms weren't empty, they were filled with the absence of someone.

An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.

All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly.

Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.'

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.'

My life could have been so grim ... really, really grim.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes.

You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people.

Always remember, if you decide to come to the showbiz party the dress code is 'Thick Skin'. Our

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

The only time I took Ecstacy was years and years ago. It was absolutely amazing.

All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.

I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.

It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it?

I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness.

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.

My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living.

Tolerance is forced on people in London.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.

Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!

Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it.

One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.