Graeme Simsion Famous Quotes
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I know this song!'
Rosie laughed.
'If you didn't, that'd be the final proof that you're from Mars.
Rationality was returning to deal with the mess that emotions had created.
It seemed nice. They all seemed nice. I had no framework for discrimination.
I decided that ten positions would be sufficient initially. More could be learned if the initial encounter was successful. It did not take long - less time than learning the cha-cha. In terms of reward for effort, it seemed strongly preferable to dancing and I was greatly looking forward to it.
Unfortunately, their approach was based on the traditional dating paradigm, which I had previously abandoned on the basis that the probability of success did not justify the effort and negative experiences.
If you shut yourself down, you're wasting two days of your life that someone is trying to make exciting and productive and fun for you.
Look," I said, "there are plenty of people in the world who believe our destiny is in the hands of some old white guy sitting above us dealing out rewards and punishment like...some old white guy. What I believe makes more sense than that. Some things are meant to be. Fate, destiny, karma-whatever you want to call it. The universe has plans- we just aren't smart enough to know how it works.
If she's a psychology student, she'll love talking about herself.
As I completed dinner preparation, Rosie set the table - not the conventional dining table in the living room, but a makeshift table on the balcony, created by taking a whiteboard from the kitchen wall and placing it on top of the two big plant pots, from which the dead plants had been removed. A white sheet from the linen cupboard had been added in the role of tablecloth. Silver cutlery - a housewarming gift from my parents that had never been used - and the decorative wineglasses were on the table. She was destroying my apartment!
But my strategy was to minimize the chance of making a type-one error - wasting time on an unsuitable choice. Inevitably, that increased the risk of a type-two error - rejecting a suitable person. But this was an acceptable risk as I was dealing with a very large population
But I had concluded that being myself, with all my intrinsic flaws, was more important than having the thing I wanted most.
There were approximately twenty-five people milling around the door and the front of the classroom, but I immediately recognised Julie, the convenor, from Gene's description: 'blonde with big tits'. In fact, her breasts were probably no more than one and a half standard deviations from the mean size for her body weight, and hardly a remarkable identifying feature. It was more a question of elevation and exposure, as a result of her choice of costume, which seemed perfectly practical for a hot January evening.
In evaluating Elizabeth's suitability as a potential partner - someone to provide intellectual stimulation, to share activities with, perhaps even to breed with - Claudia's first concern was my reaction to her choice of glasses frames, which was probably not even her own but the result of advice from an optometrist. This is the world I have to live in.
I arrived at 7.04 p.m. only to find that the bar did not open until 9.00 p.m. Incredible. No wonder people make mistakes at work. Would it be full of surgeons and flight controllers, drinking until after midnight then working the next day?
As soon as my watch showed 5:00 p.m., I walked in. Gene was at the lectern of the darkened theatre, still talking, apparently oblivious to time, responding to a question about funding. My entrance had allowed a shaft of light into the room, and I realized that the audience's eyes were now on me, as if expecting me to say something.
'Time's up,' I said. 'I have a meeting with Gene.
Unwanted events occur and you lack certain skills for minimizing the personal impact.
Research has shown that creativity is enhanced when performing straightforward mechanical tasks such as jogging, cooking, and driving. Unobstructed thinking time is always useful.
It was obvious that Rosie was confused by emotions, and I respected her attempt to overcome them.
Do you want this marriage to work or not?' she said. 'My spreadsheet identified –' I interpreted Sonia's expression as I don't want to hear about your fucking spreadsheet. Do you, emotionally, as a whole mature person, want to live the rest of your life with Rosie and the Baby Under Development or are you going to let a computer make that decision for you, you pathetic geek? 'Work. But I don't think –' 'You think too much. Take her out to dinner and talk it over.
A few times in my life, I have been manipulated by the sexual power of a woman. "Could you help with my assignment?" I'll do it for you. "I don't know why they've given me middle seat." Take mine. "I thought the trains would still be running." Let me drive your home. No promises, no offers, nothing expected in return.
I had never thought of him as actually weird - possibly because we might both be weird along the same dimensions.
You know what my doctor said about that book you've been reading? Give it to someone you hate.
See how it works? When men are the majority, they make the rules; when they're a minority they get special treatment.
I was suddenly angry. I wanted to shake not just Lydia but the whole world of people who do not understand the difference between control of emotion and lack of it, and who make a totally illogical connection between inability to read others' emotions and inability to experience their own.
Vegetarians and vegans can be incredibly annoying. Gene has a joke: How can you tell if someone is a vegan? Just wait ten minutes and they'll tell you.
I accepted that I was wired differently than most people, or, more precisely, that my wiring was toward one end of a spectrum of different human configurations. My innate logical skills were significantly greater than my interpersonal skills.
Take notice of your emotions as well as logic. Emotions have their own logic. And try to go with the flow.
Time has been redefined. Previous rules no longer apply. Alcohol is hereby declared mandatory in the Rosie Time Zone.
As we drank champagne in the lounge, I explained that I had earned special privileges by being particularly vigilant and observant of rules and procedures on previous flights, and by making a substantial number of helpful suggestions regarding check-in procedures, flight scheduling, pilot training, and ways in which security systems might be subverted. I was no longer expected to offer advice, having contributed enough for a lifetime of flying.
All of us have to make some accommodations and allowances if we are to live with another person.
And how could I be sure that other people were not doing the same - playing the game to be accepted but suspecting all the time that they were different?
How are you going to kiss a girl if you won't share her ice cream? p.203 The Rosie Project
I feel I've done the 10,000 hours you have to do to get good at something.
Then, in this vanishingly small moment in the history of the universe, she took my hand, and held it all the way to the subway.
There's definitely a role for online booksellers, but they can't host events, bring people together, and form a personal relationship in the way a bricks-and-mortar store and its staff can.
She continued, "You know, we never use that word. Aspies. We don't want them thinking it's some sort of club." More negative implications from someone who was presumably paid to assist and encourage.
"Like homosexuality?" I asked.
"Touche," said Julie.
What must do the hard thing? He who can.
I watched as Humphrey Bogart's character used beans as a metaphor for the relative unimportance in the wider world of his relationship with Ingrid Bergman's character, and chose logic and decency ahead of his selfish emotional desires. The quandary and resulting decision made for an engrossing film. But this was not what people cried about. They were in love and could not be together. I repeated this statement to myself, trying to force an emotional reaction. I couldn't. I didn't care. I had enough problems of my own.
I shook my head to test for a hangover but it seemed that my alcohol-processing enzymes had done their job adequately.
I believed I did well. I detected the trick question. I wanted Rosie to like me, and I remembered her passionate statement about men treating women as objects. She was testing to see if I saw her as an object or as a person. Obviously the correct answer was the latter. "I haven't really noticed," I told the most beautiful woman in the world.
There was only one bar of that name, in a back street of an inner suburb. I had already modified the day's schedule, cancelling my market trip to catch up on the lost sleep. I would purchase a ready-made dinner instead. I am sometimes accused of being inflexible, but I think this demonstrates an ability to adapt to even the strangest of circumstances.
Oh my God,' she said. 'I need a drink.' I was not sure why she was sharing this information with someone she had known for only forty-six minutes. I planned to consume some alcohol myself when I arrived home but saw no reason to inform Julie.
There was a small risk that Rosie's father was a transsexual. I made a mental note to check the women for signs of male features and test any that appeared doubtful. Overall, however, the numbers looked promising.
I never watch sports. Ever. The reasons are obvious - or should be to anyone who values their time.
And the pursuit of fun does not lead to overall contentment. Studies have shown this consistently.
Sex was absolutely not allowed to be scheduled, at least not by explicit discussion, but I had become familiar with the sequence of events likely to precipitate it: a blueberry muffin from Blue Sky Bakery, a triple shot of espresso from Otha's, removal of my shirt, and my impersonation of Gregory Peck in the role of Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird.
I would normally have scheduled my driving time according to published studies on fatigue and booked accommodation accordingly. But I had been too busy to plan. Nevertheless, I stopped for rest breaks every two hours and found myself able to maintain concentration. At 11.43 p.m., I detected tiredness, but rather than sleep I stopped at a service station, refuelled, and ordered four double espressos. I opened the sunroof and turned up the CD player volume to combat fatigue, and at 7.19 a.m. on Saturday, with the caffeine still running all around my brain, Jackson Browne and I pulled into Moree.
Height, weight and body mass index.' Gene was skimming ahead. 'Can't you do the calculation yourself?' 'That's the purpose of the question,' I said. 'Checking they can do basic arithmetic. I don't want a partner who's mathematically illiterate.
None of us is expert in all situations. It is a sign of intelligence to recognize our limitations and of maturity to seek help when required.
So, to add to a momentous day, I corrected a misconception that my family had held for at least fifteen years and came out to them as straight.
After the most basic physical requirements are satisfied, human happiness is almost independent of wealth. A meaningful job is far more important.
I had little contact with people outside academia and had formed my assumptions about the rest of the world primarily from watching films and televisions as a child. I recognised that the characters in 'Lost in Space' and 'Star Trek' were probably not representative of humans in general.
Research consistently shows that the risks to health outweigh the benefits of drinking alcohol. My argument is that the benefits to my mental health justify the risks.
I was not concerned about the dancing - I was confident that I could draw on my experience from preparing for martial arts competitions, with the supplementary advantage of an optimum intake of alcohol, which for martial arts is not permitted.
I met Rosie at the airport. She remained uncomfortable about me purchasing her ticket, so I told her she could pay me back by selecting some Wife Project applicants for me to date.
'Fuck you,' she said.
It seemed we were friends again.
It seems hardly possible to analyse such a complex situation involving deceit and supposition of another person's emotional response, and then prepare your own plausible lie, all while someone is waiting for you to reply to a question. Yet that is exactly what people expect you to be able to do.
I became aware of applause. It seemed natural. I had been living in the world of romantic comedy and this was the final scene. But it was real. The entire University Club dining room had been watching. I decided to complete the story according to tradition and kissed Rosie.
I am happy that I'm a better novelist than a screenwriter.
Do not mess with this man's threads!
We are genetically programmed to react to stimuli in our immediate vicinity. Responding to complex issues that we cannot perceive directly requires the application of reasoning, which is less powerful than instinct.
I've sequenced the questions for maximum speed of elimination,' I explained. 'I believe I can eliminate most women in less than forty seconds. Then you can choose the topic of discussion for the remaining time.'
'But then it won't matter,' said Frances. 'I'll have been eliminated.'
'Only as a potential partner. We may still be able to have an interesting discussion.'
'But I'll have been eliminated.'
I nodded. 'Do you smoke?'
'Occasionally,' she said.
I put the questionnaire away. 'Excellent.' I was pleased that my question sequencing was working so well. We could have wasted time talking about ice-cream flavours and make-up only to find that she smoked. Needless to say, smoking was not negotiable. 'No more questions. What would you like to discuss?
I think if a woman describes herself as a brilliant cook, she's a bit full of herself.
A questionnaire! Such an obvious solution. A purpose-built, scientifically valid instrument incorporating current best practice to filter out the time wasters, the disorganised, the ice-cream discriminators, the visual-harassment complainers, the crystal gazers, the horoscope readers, the fashion obsessives, the religious fanatics, the vegans, the sports watchers, the creationists, the smokers, the scientifically illiterate, the homeopaths, leaving, ideally, the perfect partner, or realistically, a manageable shortlist of candidates.
What would you like?" "A skinny decaf latte." This is a ridiculous form of coffee, but I did not point it out.
I had become accustomed to being woken, and generally managed to fall asleep again within a few minutes. But the aggregate effect could not be ignored and I was forced to reschedule my bedtime to thirteen minutes earlier.
Before sharing interesting information that has not been solicited, think carefully about whether it has the potential to cause distress.
Humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others.
Over the following week, I attempted to leave the Lydia situation for my subconscious to work on. Creative thinking benefits from an incubation period.
Humans should be permanently under development.
If Rosie's mother had known that eye colour was not a reliable indicator of paternity, and organised a DNA test to confirm her suspicions, there would have been no Father Project, no Great Cocktail Night, no New York Adventure, no Reform Don Project - and no Rosie Project. Had it not been for this unscheduled series of events, her daughter and I would not have fallen in love. And I would still be eating lobster every Tuesday night.
Incredible.
The problem is not my suitability as a partner, it's my suitability as a father.
I had observed that neurotypicals criticised autistic people for lacking empathy… but seldom made any effort to improve their own empathy towards autistic people.
Pg 318
I explained that I had a special O-1 Visa for Aliens of Extraordinary Ability. I had needed a visa after the occasion when I was refused entry and this was deemed the safest choice. O-1 visas were quite rare and 'yes' was the correct answer to any question about the extraordinariness of my abilities. Rosie found the word 'alien' amusing. Correction, hilarious.
Contrary to popular belief, alcohol does not destroy brain cells.
I need a minute to think, she said. I automatically started the timer on my watch. Suddenly Rosie started laughing.
There was also a dark-haired man of about thirty (BMI approximately twenty) who appeared not to have shaved for several days, and, beside him, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. In contrast to the complexity of Bianca's costume, she was wearing a green dress with zero decoration, so minimal that it did not even have straps to hold it in place. It took me a moment to realise that its wearer was Rosie.
In marriage reason frequently had to take second place to Harmony
I looked again at the nighttime view of the city - the view I had never seen before even though it had been there all the time.
It may have been due to the effect of the gordo blanco on my cognitive functions, but I was suddenly overwhelmed by an extraordinary feeling - not of satisfaction but of absolute joy. It was the feeling I had in the Museum of Natural History and when I was making cocktails. We started dancing again, and this time I allowed myself to focus on the sensations of my body moving to the beat of the song from my childhood and of Rosie moving to the same rhythm.
There was an extraordinary amount to process, and my brain was now functioning normally, or at least int the manner that I was accustomed to. The meltdown was perhaps the psychological equivalent of a reboot following an overload.
we need to be vigilant that emotions do not cripple us.
Asperger's syndrome is associated with organization, focus, innovative thinking, and rational detachment.
Love is a powerful feeling for another person, often defying logic.
It is generally accepted that people enjoy surprises: hence the traditions associated with Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries. In my experience, most of the pleasure accrues to the giver. The victim is frequently under pressure to feign, at short notice, a positive response to an unwanted object or unscheduled event.
We'll have to decide if that's a mandatory requirement or negotiable. If it's negotiable then we have more scope for innovative solutions.
Pg 225
It was only later that I realised that I had experienced extended close contact with another human without feeling uncomfortable. I attributed it to my concentration on correctly executing the dance steps.
But I'm not good at understanding what other people want.'
'Tell me something I don't know,' said Rosie for no obvious reason.
I quickly searched my mind for an interesting fact.
'Ahhh…The testicles of drone bees and wasp spiders explode during sex.
In Hong Kong, I read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "Love in the Time of Cholera", in which the hero must wait until his seventies before being united with his beloved. In a moment of Melancholy, I inscribed my copy: Angelina, I will love you always. Adam and sent it to her, via Jacinta. It was an unhealthy book for me to have read at that time, and to have then inflicted on Angelina. Just wait long enough and somehow the right people will die. The starts will align, we'll get over ourselves and we'll be together. And in the meantime, what?
The day might come when I had nothing but memories, and the choice of whether to indulge my romantic side and wallow in them, or my cynical side and reflect on the reliability.
He knew me well enough to know that once an emotion was identified,
But it appeared that the motivation for the project was a newspaper article titled 'Research Proves Kids Need a Mom and a Dad.' Someone had written the word 'crap' in red beside the article. It was an excellent start. Scientists need to cultivate a suspicious attitude to research.
I had long ago learned that withholding information from Rosie was unwise. The reduction in her stress levels was more than offset by the increase when she detected deceit.
I was feeling overwhelmed. Meeting Bianca, dancing, rejection by Bianca, social overload, discussion of personal matters - now, just when I thought the ordeal was over, Rosie seemed to be proposing more conversation. I was not sure I could cope.
'It's extremely late,' I said. I was sure this was a socially acceptable way of saying that I wanted to go home.
'The taxi fares go down again in the morning.'
If I understood correctly, I was now definitely far out of my depth. I needed to be sure that I wasn't misinterpreting her.
I decided that I needed to take a new direction in my life, because any change was better than staying in the pit of depression. I actually visualised it as a pit.
I was wearing my bathroom-cleaning costume of shorts, surgical boots, and gloves but no shirt. "Wow." She stared at me for a few moments. "This is what martial arts training does, is it?" She appeared to be referring to my pectoral muscles.
And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me.
The sequence was initiated by Gene's insisting I give a lecture on Asperger's syndrome that he had previously agreed to deliver himself. The timing was extremely annoying. The preparation could be time-shared with lunch consumption, on the designated evening I had scheduled ninety-four minutes to clean my bathroom.
I thought you were happy about having a baby.' I was happy in the way that I would be happy if the captain of an aircraft in which I was travelling announced that he had succeeded in restarting one engine after both had failed. Pleased that I would now probably survive, but shocked that the situation had arisen in the first place, and expecting a thorough investigation into the circumstances.
Hurtling back to town, in a red Porsche driven by a beautiful woman, with the song playing, I had the sense of standing on the brink of another world.
It seems right now that all I've ever done in my life is making my way here to you.