Perfectionism Quotes

We either own our stories (even the messy ones), or we stand outside of them - denying our vulnerabilities and imperfections, orphaning the parts of us that don't fit in with who/what we think we're supposed to be, and hustling for other people's approval of our worthiness. Perfectionism is exhausting because hustling is exhausting. It's a never-ending performance. ~ Brene Brown

We don't need to be perfect to do good deeds in the world, but we need to be sincere in our efforts. ~ Gudjon Bergmann

You can waste a perfectly good life trying to meet the standards of someone who thinks you're not good enough because they can't understand who you are. ~ Barbara Sher

If you are a real perfectionist, you can't finish any job! We, the mortals, we don't have enough time to be perfectionist! Perfectionism is the art of immortals! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

If your fidelity to perfectionism is too high, you never do anything. ~ David Foster Wallace

On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness. ~ Tara Brach

The unfolding over time of a great idea is like the growth of a fractal crystal, allowing details and refinements to multiply endlessly - but only in ever-increasing scale. ~ David Bayles

Our whole lives, it was like we were always trying so hard to be perfect - for our families and our friends, for each other - when the funny thing was, we didn't have to. In the end, we were better than that. ~ Brenna Yovanoff

If you're thinking, 'Great! I just need to be a superhero to fight perfectionism,' I understand. Courage, compassion, and connection seem like big, lofty ideals. But in reality, they are daily practices that, when exercised enough, become these incredible gifts in our lives. And the good news is that our vulnerabilities are what force us to call upon these amazing tools. Because we're human and so beautifully imperfect, we get to practice using our tools on a daily basis. In this way, courage, compassion, and connection become gifts - the gifts of imperfection. ~ Brene Brown

I slowly realized that perfectionism just not that important. What's more important is to try to love the people around you. Whatever that means at a particular time is the best you can do. ~ Veronica Roth

God, grant me the serenity to stop beating myself up for not doing things perfectly, the courage to forgive myself because I'm working on doing better, and the wisdom to know that You already love me just the way I am. ~ Eleanor Brownn

Don't aim for perfection. Aim for 'better than yesterday'. ~ Izey Victoria Odiase

Perfection is only achieved when there is nothing more that can be taken away rather then when there are things that can be added ~ Antoine De Saint Exupery

Catch Either/Or Thinking

Anxious perfectionists will typically think "I need to perform flawlessly at all times," with their underlying assumption being "or else it will result in disaster." This is a common type of thinking trap termed either/or thinking. In this case, the either/or is this: Either there is flawless performance or complete and utter failure, and nothing in between.
Not only can this style of thinking make you feel crushed when you don't meet your own ideal standards, but it also often leads to perfectionism paralysis. Take, for example, an artist who sees his future career prospects as becoming either the next Picasso or a penniless flop; this person doesn't see other possible outcomes in between. You can see how this would give the artist a creative block.
For other folks, their hidden assumption may be slightly different: "Either I need to perform flawlessly at all times, or other people will reject me." When I look back at my clinical psychology training, I realize I had this belief at that time. At a semiconscious level, I thought that the only way to prevent getting booted out of the program was to score at the top of the class for every test or assignment.
Ultra-high standards often arise because a person is trying to hide imagined catastrophic flaws. In this scenario, people often think that if their flaws get revealed they'll be shunned, and so the only way to conceal their defects is by always excelling. When people who hav ~ Alice Boyes

I picture the vast realm of the sciences as an immense landscape scattered with patches of dark and light. The goal towards which we must work is either to extend the boundaries of the patches of light, or to increase their number. One of these tasks falls to the creative genius; the other requires a sort of sagacity combined with perfectionism. ~ Denis Diderot

Let her own shortfalls, and not your vindictive perfectionism, be the quality that throws her to destruction. ~ Janny Wurts

Gideon has OCPD tendencies," Daryn said. She pulled my Giants sweatshirt on. It felt like her sweatshirt now.

"Say again?"

She smiled. "Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. It's an extreme preoccupation with perfectionism, orderliness, and neatness."

Was that how she saw me? Like a human graphing calculator? Great. "You missed a few, Martin. I also like specifics. Thoroughness. And winning. At everything. But I gotta say as a soldier I fully support your use of acronyms."

"Ten-four, buddy," she said.

"In the Army we say 'Roger that.'"

Her smile grew wider. "Ten-four, buddy. ~ Veronica Rossi

Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right. It has nothing to do with fixing things. It has nothing to do with standards. Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move forward. It is a loop-an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole. ~ Julia Cameron

Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world. The best way is to forget doubts and set about the task in hand ... If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure. ~ Robert Hillyer

What people are craving isn't perfection. People aren't longing to be impressed; they're longing to feel like they're home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they'll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude and rest, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how odd. ~ Shauna Niequist

No buddy is perfect ~ Saji Ijiyemi

Perfectionism is a time waster - 20 percent of the effort you put into any project accomplishes 80 percent of the outcome - so this is a time to ask yourself when good enough is enough and then stop. ~ Mira Kirshenbaum

Clinging to our ideas of perfection isolates us from life and is a barrier. ~ Sharon Salzberg

... perfectionists often produce very little. ~ Elizabeth Grace Saunders

The culture of shame is driven by fear, blame and disconnection, and it is often a powerful incubator for issues like perfectionism, stereotyping, gossiping and addiction. ~ Brene Brown

Replace perfectionism with persistence. After all, in recovery and life, it's persistence that really pays off. Forget about perfection. ~ Jenni Schaefer

Our psychic muscles. They cramp around our wounds - the pain from our childhood, the losses and disappointments of adulthood, the humiliations suffered in both - to keep us from getting hurt in the same place again, to keep foreign substances out. So those wounds never have a chance to heal. Perfectionism is one way our muscles cramp. In some cases we don't even know that the wounds and the cramping are there, but both limit us. They keep us moving and writing in tight, worried ways. They keep us standing back or backing away from life, keep us from experiencing life in a naked and immediate way. So ~ Anne Lamott

Steve Jobs thus became the greatest business executive of our era, the one most certain to be remembered a century from now. History will place him in the pantheon right next to Edison and Ford. More than anyone else of this time, he made products that were completely innovative, combining the power of poetry and processors. With a ferocity that could make working with him as unsettling as it was inspiring, he also built the world's most creative company. And he was able to infuse into its DNA the design sensibilities, perfectionism, and imagination that make it likely to be, even decades from now, the company that thrives best at the intersection of artistry and technology. ~ Walter Isaacson

I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. ~ Anne Lamott

It may just be that you are developing a quiet doggedness. This is priceless. Perfectionism, on the other hand, will only drive you mad. ~ Anne Lamott

As we try to achieve perfection, society changes and we just become more imperfect ~ Joao Matod

It's in our biology to trust what we see with our eyes. This makes living in a carefully edited, overproduced and photoshopped world very dangerous. ~ Brene Brown

Not that I would not, if I could, be both handsome ...and well-dressed, and a great athlete, and make a million a year, be a wit, a bon-vivant, and a lady-killer, as well as a philosopher; a philanthropist, statesman, warrior, and African explorer, as well as a 'tone poet' and saint. But the thing is simply impossible…Such different characters may conceivably at the outset of life be alike possible to a man. But to make any one of them actual, the rest must more or less be suppressed. So the seeker of his truest, strongest, deepest self must review the list carefully, and pick out the one on which to stake his salvation. All other selves thereupon become unreal… ~ William James

Perfectionism never happens in a vacuum. It touches everyone around us. We pass it down to our children, we infect our workplace with impossible expectations, and it's suffocating for our friends and families. Thankfully, compassion also spreads quickly. When we're kind to ourselves, we create a reservoir of compassion that we can extend to others. ~ Brene Brown

But you have to remind yourself that perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. ~ Anne Lamott

Film industry is a pretty brutal business. If you fall too far behind, all of the perfectionism in the world won't save you. ~ Danny Boyle

Being thin created intense anxiety that I wouldn't be able to maintain that weight for life, and I couldn't. ~ Jenni Schaefer

The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly - indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection. ~ Arianna Huffington

Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self- solitude is the enemy of well- being. ~ John Updike

There is a curious idea among unscientific men that in scientific writing there is a common plateau of perfectionism. Nothing could be more untrue. The reports of biologists are the measure, not of the science, but of the men themselves. There are as few scientific giants as any other kind. In some reports it is impossible, because of inept expression, to relate the descriptions to the living animals. In some papers collecting places are so mixed or ignored that the animals mentioned cannot be found at all. The same conditioning forces itself into specification as it does into any other kind of observation, and the same faults of carelessness will be found in scientific reports as in the witness chair of a criminal court. It has seemed sometimes that the little men in scientific work assumed the awe-fullness of a priesthood to hide their deficiencies, as the witch-doctor does with his stilts and high masks, as the priesthoods of all cults have, with secret or unfamiliar languages and symbols. It is usually found that only the little stuffy men object to what is called "popularization", by which they mean writing with a clarity understandable to one not familiar with the tricks and codes of the cult. We have not known a single great scientist who could not discourse freely and interestingly with a child. Can it be that the haters of clarity have nothing to say, have observed nothing, have no clear picture of even their own fields? A dull man seems to be a dull man no matter wh ~ John Steinbeck

Perfection is a faux. It's a mask carved by our own poor esteem to hide who we really are and make others see what really isn't us. ~ Chinonye J. Chidolue

Stay away from thoughts of perfectionism; don't turn this opportunity into a chore. ~ Erin Ramsey

THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY RULES 1. Control or Chaos. One must be in control of all interactions, feelings and personal behavior at all times - control is the major defense strategy for shame. In the less-than-human shameless marriage, both parents may be cocaine addicts or addicted in other ways. They may be dishonest criminals. The children experience chaos, as well as secrecy rules that guard their family's behavior. 2. Perfectionism or Anomie. Always be right in everything you do. The perfectionist rule always involves an imposed measurement. The fear and avoidance of the negative is the organizing principle of life. The members live according to an externalized image. No one ever measures up. In the less-than-human family, there are no rules - the children have no structure to guide them. ~ John Bradshaw

[Perfectionism] keeps your work at a high quality, but often prevents you from getting your ideas out there at all, since pretty much nothing anyone does is ever perfect. ~ Susan Cain

If we demand perfection from ourselves we are not living in the real world ... The inherent problem in the relationship between the ideal & the real is that the ideal judges the real as unacceptable and brings down condemnation and wrath on the real. This sets up an adversarial relationship between the two and like all adversaries, they move further and further apart. ~ Henry Cloud

Perfectionism is not the path that leads us to our gifts and to our sense of purpose; it's the hazardous detour. ~ Brene Brown

[perfectionism leads to] a tendency to apologize preemptively for one's efforts, knowing from experience that there's sure to be something wrong with them. ~ William Westney

There's scientific evidence for the satisfizer over the maximizer. Those who just get it done will generally be happier with the outcome and will be able to be more effective than those who try to maximize every decision and they hold off on it until they have the maximal amount of information. They are less happy with the outcome, whatever decision they do end up making, and that decision is only marginally optimal in most cases, and sometimes is even worse. So get into the habit of being decisive. It is going to make you more effective and happier. ~ David Tian Ph.D

Perfectionism will ruin your writing, blocking inventiveness and playfulness and life force ~ Anne Lamott

When people undermine your values, they've strong reasons. For example, they mistaken your passion for excellence as perfectionism... ~ Assegid Habtewold

Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you're 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn't go swimming in those warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen. ~ Anne Lamott

I wasn't raised with the skills and emotional practice needed to "lean into discomfort," so over time I basically became a take-the-edge-off-aholic. But they don't have meetings for that. And after some brief experimenting, I learned that describing your addiction that way in a traditional twelve-step meeting doesn't always go over very well with the purists. For me, it wasn't just the dance halls, cold beer, and Marlboro Lights of my youth that got out of hand - it was banana bread, chips and queso, e-mail, work, staying busy, incessant worrying, planning, perfectionism, and anything else that could dull those agonizing and anxiety-fueled feelings of vulnerability. ~ Brene Brown

You always try to be perfect, he says, and you always fall short, and it fucks with your head. Your confidence is shot, and perfectionism is the reason. ~ Anonymous

Switch from a Performance Focus to a Mastery Focus

There's a way to keep your standards high but avoid the problems that come from perfectionism. If you can shift your thinking from a performance focus to a mastery focus, you'll become less fearful, more resilient, and more open to good, new ideas. Performance focus is when your highest priority is to show you can do something well now. Mastery focus is when you're mostly concerned with advancing your skills. Someone with a mastery focus will think, "My goal is to master this skill set" rather than "I need to perform well to prove myself."
A mastery focus can help you persist after setbacks. To illustrate this, imagine the following scenario: Adam is trying to master the art of public speaking. Due to his mastery goal, he's likely to take as many opportunities as he can to practice giving speeches. When he has setbacks, he'll be motivated to try to understand these and get back on track. His mastery focus will make him more likely to work steadily toward his goal. Compare this with performance-focused Rob, who is concerned just with proving his competence each time he gives a talk. Rob will probably take fewer risks in his style of presentation and be less willing to step outside his comfort zone. If he has an incident in which a talk doesn't go as well as he'd hoped, he's likely to start avoiding public speaking opportunities.
Mastery goals will help you become less upset about individual instances of fa ~ Alice Boyes

When you're ready, nothing can stop you. If something's stopping you, you're not ready. ~ Drew Gerald

Wholeness lies beyond perfection. Perfection is only an idea. For most experts and many of the rest of us it has become a life goal...A perfectionist sees life as if it were one of those little pictures that used to appear in the newspapers over the caption "What's wrong with this picture?" If you looked at the picture carefully you would see that the table only had three legs or the house had no door. I remember the "Aha!" that these pictures evoked in me as a child. I wonder now why anyone would want to take such satisfaction in seeing what is missing, what is wrong, what is "broken." The pursuit of perfection has become a major addiction of our time. Fortunately, perfectionism is learned...which is why it's possible to recover. ~ Rachel Naomi Remen

At its root, perfectionism isn't really about a deep love of being meticulous. It's about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success. ~ Michael Law

When we relate to ourselves with loving kindness, perfectionism naturally drops away. ~ Sharon Salzberg

I have struggled with perfectionism and I think it's a really damaging thing in my own life. When we put that perfectionism on someone else, it just hurts relationships whereas grace and trusting someone else's heart is a really, really incredible and important part of any relationship. ~ Rebecca St. James

There are too many people who love me, and accept me, and never try and change me, and who don't condemn me in the slightest, for me to waste even one moment of my life anymore worrying about what other people will think. ~ Dan Pearce

Flaws.
We all have them. BUT, they are all about perception. What I consider as a flaw may not be what someone else considers as a flaw. To me, a flaws is an imperfection or a fault in MY eyes. I consider my flaws to be things that I do not like about myself and things that I would like to change. ~ Horacio Jones

Moms are not perfect - we are being perfected. ~ Sue Detweiler

These 'mistakes' occur in my books for a reason. I have an agenda: I'm secretly trying to inspire kids to create their own stories and comics, and I don't want them to feel stifled by 'perfectionism.' ~ Dav Pilkey

My life, my soul is anything but finished hence it is not perfect. Only masterpieces are finished and could be considered perfect. So unless you are a "David" or a "Requiem" or perhaps a "Mona Lisa" you are not perfect. We'll be prone to errors and we will make mistakes. But at least these allow us to become something closer to perfection. ~ Daniel Gyorki

In order to go on living one must try to escape the death involved in perfectionism. ~ Hannah Arendt

My friend Annabel calls it "Reverse Perfectionism" - if a man thinks he can't do something perfectly, he'd rather not do it at all ... ~ Shelli NT

Perfectionism is self destructive simply because there's no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. ~ Brene Brown

Perfectionism is procrastination masquerading as quality control. ~ Steven Barnes

Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person. ~ David D. Burns

The wholesome pursuit of excellence feels quite different from perfectionism. ~ Sharon Salzberg

The drive for perfectionism is a corrosive waste of time, because nothing is ever beyond criticism. No ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

During school age, the bright, shame-based child will attempt to develop inhuman ego defenses or defending scripts, such as perfectionism, blaming, criticizing, righteousness or being judgmental. The character-disordered try to be more than human. Since being grounded in healthy shame is the permission to be human, the toxically shamed become polarized trying to be more than human or giving up and becoming less than human. ~ John Bradshaw

Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance. ~ Brene Brown

Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?" Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think? ~ Brene Brown

Goals you refuse to chase don't disappear - they become ghosts that haunt you. Do you know why strangers rage at each other online and are so quick to be angry and offended these days? Because their passion has no other outlet. When you refuse to deal in joy, you don't quit being emotional; you just funnel all that fury somewhere else. Many a troll was born from the heartache of a goal he dared not finish. Maybe a troll is just someone who lost to perfectionism so many times he gave up on his own goals and decided to tear down someone else's. ~ Jon Acuff

With some gratitude, I realized that my awareness was now stronger than my neurosis. This did not mean that things would never go to pieces, only that I did not have to fall apart when they did. In fact, my own ability to go to pieces was protecting me in this situation. I did not have to let my identity as an efficient and together person imprison me. ~ Mark Epstein

Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly. ~ Robert H. Schuller

Perfectionism is an enemy of good time management. If you are one of those people who needs to finish every project with absolutely no imperfections, you are undoubtedly wasting a great deal of time. Learn to recognize what is "good enough" and which activities don't demand absolute precision, and revise your approach accordingly. ~ Ernest Christo

Under this aura of perfection he knows how flawed he really is but his intact denial system keeps this awareness suppressed in the far recesses of his mind. ~ David W. Earle

Perfectionism is a shield that we carry with a thought process that says this, 'If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, and do it all perfectly, I can avoid or minimize feeling shame, blame, and judgement. ~ Brene Brown

Tilly was downcast; as with all perfectionists, it was the detail others might not notice that destroyed for her the pleasure of achievement. ~ Elspeth Huxley

Here's the reality of life,' he said. ' You make decisions with imperfect information and achieve imperfect results. The alternative is to never make a decision and never achieve results. ~ Noelle Hancock

The only antidote to perfectionism is to turn away from every whiff of plastic or gloss and follow our grief, pursue our imperfections, and exaggerate our eccentricities until the things we once sought to hide reveals themselves as our majesty ~ Toko-pa Turner

shame is the voice of perfectionism. Whether we're talking about appearance, work, motherhood, health or family, it's not the quest for perfection that is so painful; it's failing to meet the unattainable expectations that lead to the painful wash of shame. ~ Brene Brown

Perfection has one grave defect: it is apt to be dull. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Perfectionism is the belief that something is broken - you. So you dress up your brokenness with degrees, achievements, accolades, pieces of paper, none of which can fix what you think you are fixing. ~ Edith Eger

Perfectionism is a perpetual flight into an illusory future that cannot be attained. ~ Gary Zukav

[Judith Warner:] Our neurotic quest to perfect the mechanics of mothering can be interpreted as an effort to do on an individual level what we've stopped trying to do on a society-wide one. ~ Emily Matchar

It was clear that most of my insecurities originated from my need to have things be "perfect." I wasn't sure what bothered me more; the fact that I had no control over the changes of my body and hair or that this horrible situation was only happening to me. ~ Tracey Berkowitz

Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. ~ Brene Brown

In addition, school teaches us that 'A efforts' bring 'A results.' Real life shows us that 'A efforts' only give us a chance at 'A results.' Students can go out into the job market, do all the right things, and still get a real-life 'F' when they aren't selected for a job. ~ Stephen Guise

No matter how long the preparation,
you will never feel ready to write an
exam, to start a business, to be parent
or even to die. Just go for it. ~ Moffat Machingura

No number of compliments will convince her of anything, and one of Jacob's projects in their marriage is to wean her off perfectionism. ~ Maggie Shipstead

Slow down. Calm down. Don't worry. Don't hurry. Trust the process. ~ Alexandra Stoddard

Find the perfection in every moment instead of trying to make every moment perfect. ~ Donnalynn Civello

By achieving perfectionism in our professions; we disconnect ourselves from our souls.
-Azal ~ Varinder Azal

I love that, for Kanye [West], there's no difference between the epic and the personal. That makes him sound like a really grandiose douche - which, I don't think anyone, himself included, could contest - but at the same time, it's really amazing. I love the scope of his perfectionism. ~ David Longstreth

If getting our kids out into nature is a search for perfection, or is one more chore, then the belief in perfection and the chore defeats the joy. It's a good thing to learn more about nature in order to share this knowledge with children; it's even better if the adult and child learn about nature together. And it's a lot more fun. ~ Richard Louv

what's really unique about maternal anxiety today is our belief that if something goes wrong with or for our children, it's a reflection on us as mothers. Because we believe we should be able to control life so perfectly that we can keep bad things from happening. ~ Judith Warner

There's going to be a demand for perfectionism on the part of Hillary Clinton, or any other pro-equality woman candidate, that would not be made of men. There are going to be attacks based on different standards of morality and different standards of dress and physical attractiveness. ~ Gloria Steinem