Umpire Quotes

The way I see it, an umpire must be perfect on the first day of the season and then get better every day. ~ Nestor Chylak

If you're a photographer, they give you a camera. If you're a writer, they give you a typewriter. If you're an umpire, they give you an unseen object and they call it a strike zone, and nobody seems to agree with you no matter what you call. ~ Doug Harvey

I was a great base umpire, but I was the most mediocre plate umpire to ever come into the major leagues. ~ Doug Harvey

We are to remember what an umpire Nature is; what a greatness, composure of depth and tolerance there is in her. You take wheat to cast into the Earth's bosom; your wheat may be mixed with chaff, chopped straw, barn-sweepings, dust and all imaginable rubbish; no matter: you cast it into the kind just Earth; she grows the wheat, - the whole rubbish she silently absorbs, shrouds it in, says nothing of the rubbish. ~ Thomas Carlyle

I say to you, you want a thrill, volunteer to be an umpire. I'd like you to go just work the bases some day. Just go do that. You're going to love it. Try the slow-pitch stuff. You'll love it. Ask my son - he tried it! He said, 'I've never seen so many idiots in all my life.' ~ Doug Harvey

Today a pitcher gets fined if the umpire thinks he threw at a batter. In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you. ~ Leo Durocher

Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha. ~ Time-Life Books

There's absolutely no excuse for throwing a piece of equipment on an umpire or any player. You can argue your point and at times may accidentally bump an umpire, but to consciously throw a piece of equipment at someone is unforgivable. ~ Brad Ausmus

Stay in college, kids. Otherwise, you may become an umpire. ~ Andy Roddick

In my dealing with my child, my Latin and Greek, my accomplishments and my money stead me nothing; but as much soul as I have avails. If I am wilful, he sets his will against mine, one for one, and leaves me, if I please, the degradation of beating him by my superiority of strength. But if I renounce my will, and act for the soul, setting that up as umpire between us two, out of his young eyes looks the same soul; he reveres and loves with me. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am deeply saddened and shocked at the loss of umpire Wally Bell. ~ Joe Torre

I set out to be the best umpire of my time. But I don't know what it takes to be great. ~ Doug Harvey

The principal differences between law and science are as follows:
1. In the administration of the law, facts are necessary to enable the umpire (jury, judge) to decide whether rules have been broken and, if so, the type of penalty to apply. In science, facts are necessary to form new or better theories and to develop novel applications (for example, drugs, machines). Novelty is not a positive value in law. Instead, the lawyer looks for precedent. For the scientist, however, novelty is a value; new facts and theories are sought, whether or not they will prove useful.
2. If we endeavor to change objects or persons, the distinction between law (both as law making and law enforcing) and applied science disappears. In applying scientific knowledge, one seeks to change objects, or persons, into new forms. The scientific technologist may thus wish to shape a plastic material into the form of a chair, or a delinquent youth into a law-abiding adult. The aims of the legislator and the judge are often the same. Thus, legislators may wish to change people from drinkers into nondrinkers; or judges many want to change fathers who fail to support their dependent wives and children into fathers who do. This [is a] "therapeutic" function of law. ~ Thomas Szasz

When asked what he was fighting for, General Washington, in writing to General Thomas, said the object was 'neither glory nor extent of territory, but a defense of all that is dear and valuable in life.' He must have been an umpire. That's what umpiring is about. ~ Doug Harvey

He has two antagonists: the first presses him from behind, from the origin. The second blocks the road ahead. He gives battle to both. To be sure, the first supports him in his fight with the second, for he wants to push him forward, and in the same way the second supports him in his fight with the first, since he drives him back. But it is only theoretically so. For it is not only the two antagonists who are there, but he himself as well, and who really knows his intentions? His dream, though, is that some time in an unguarded moment and this would require a night darker than any night has ever been yet he will jump out of the fighting line and be promoted, on account of his experience in fighting, to the position of umpire over his antagonists in their fight with each other. ~ Franz Kafka

My favorite umpire is a dead one. ~ Johnny Evers

Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile. ~ Christy Mathewson

This bill would renounce the safe, proper, and acceptable role for Government as a referee of disputes between the governed. It would interpose the Government as a biased protagonist, armed with the awesome authority of the Federal Government, in addition to rulemaking and umpire powers. The broad grants of power to the Attorney General to initiate and intervene in civil actions would go far toward transforming him into George Orwell's 'Big Brother' of '1984,' in the year 1964. ~ Strom Thurmond

Mark told reporters why he always threw the ball back to the umpire to exchange for a new one after a base hit. "That ball has a hit in it," he explained. "I want that ball to get back in the ball bag and goof around with the other balls. I want him to talk to the other balls. I want the other balls to beat him up. Maybe that'll smarten him up so when he comes out the next time, he'll pop up. ~ Doug Wilson

Whoever has not experienced the pleasure of taking a young lady to her first game of ball should seize the first opportunity to do so. Her remarks about plays, her opinions of different players and the umpire, and the questions she will ask concerning the game, are all too funny to be missed. ~ John Montgomery Ward

I was correct in every call I made, regardless of what managers, players or replay may have said. To me, that's the reason I'm in the Hall of Fame. If I didn't umpire with conviction, I wouldn't have made it for long. ~ Doug Harvey

Phaethon asked: "Do you think there is something wrong with the Sophotechs? We are Manorials, father! We let Rhadamanthus control our finances and property, umpire our disputes, teach our children, design our thoughtscapes, and even play matchmaker to find us wives and husbands!"

"Son, the Sophotechs may be sufficient to advise the Parliament on laws and rules. Laws are a matter of logic and common sense. Specially designed human-thinking versions, like Rhadamanthus, can tell us how to fulfill our desires and balance our account books. Those are questions of strategy, of efficient allocation of resources and time. But the Sophotechs, they cannot choose our desires for us. They cannot guide our culture, our values, our tastes. That is a question of the spirit."

"Then what would you have us do? Would you change our laws?"

"Our mores, not our laws. There are many things which are repugnant, deadly to the spirit, and self-destructive, but which law should not forbid. Addiction, self-delusion, self-destruction, slander, perversion, love of ugliness. How can we discourage such things without the use of force? It was in response to this need that the College of Hortators evolved. Peacefully, by means of boycotts, public protests, denouncements, and shunnings, our society can maintain her sanity against the dangers to our spirit, to our humanity, to which such unboundried liberty, and such potent technology, exposes us."

(...) But Phaethon ~ John C. Wright

The roughest thing I ever said to an umpire was, 'Are you sure?' ~ Rod Laver

All the arguing in the world won't change the mind of the Umpire. ~ Pride Of The Yankees

Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing. ~ Ron Luciano

I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands. ~ Babe Ruth

When I was 14, I played in a summer league. One night the chief umpire asked me if I would like to try umpiring. There was a Little League tournament coming up and he needed more umpires than he had. ~ Jim Evans

I am primarily a lawyer. I would rather play in the game than be the umpire. ~ Lewis F. Powell, Jr.

It is the duty of the Umpire to determine all questions submitted to him according to these laws, when they apply, and according to his best judgment when they do not apply. ~ Howard Staunton

My first and only experience in baseball, the coach signed me up; he didn't tell me there's a thing called the curveball. I didn't know that. So the ball's coming at me and I start backing out, and then it broke inside. And the umpire says, 'Strike one!' And I'm saying, 'How is that a strike? It almost hit me!' ~ Magic Johnson

I must admit, I was born to officiate; I was made to officiate. I miss it. I knew why I was doing it. God made me to umpire. ~ Doug Harvey

You can't know what it's like to be a major league umpire unless you were a major league umpire. ~ Doug Harvey

Somebody has to keep score and I decided I was going to do it. I'm a born score-keeper and I realize, like an umpire, that my decisions may cause distress. ~ Gore Vidal

The umpire signals a bye with the air of a weary stalk ~ John Arlott

Let no one,' I say, 'who will make me no worthy return for such a loss rob me of a single day; let my mind be fixed upon itself, let it cultivate itself, let it busy itself with nothing outside, nothing that looks towards an umpire; let it love the tranquillity that is remote from public and private concern. ~ Seneca.

I couldn't see well enough to play (baseball) when I was a boy, so they gave me a special job - they made me an umpire. ~ Harry S. Truman

The problem with art is, it's not like the game of golf where you put the ball in the hole. There's no umpire; there's no judge. There are no rules. It's one of its problems. But it's also one of the great things about art. It becomes a question of what lasts. ~ Richard Prince

You had to pitch in and out. The zone didn't belong to the hitters; it belonged to the pitchers. Today, if you pitch too far inside, the umpire would stop you right there. I don't think it's fair. ~ Juan Marichal

In case of dispute, the umpire shall throw it straight into the field. ~ James Naismith

To me, there is no more conscientious umpire in the Major Leagues than Jim Joyce. He gives you a hellacious effort every time. ~ Tony La Russa

Peace is our inheritance from Jesus, but we have to choose to follow Him daily. Colossians 3:15 teaches us that peace is to be the "umpire" in our lives, settling every issue that needs a decision. To gain and maintain peace in our hearts, we may have to learn to say no to a few things. ~ Joyce Meyer

Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules. They apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire. ~ John Roberts

Cardinal rule for all hitters with two strikes on them: Never trust the umpire. ~ Robert Smith

I get what I desire, it's my empire
And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire ~ Nicki Minaj

Sometimes you've just got to let an umpire know that you're not satisfied with his decision. That they've missed the play in your opinion. Not that it's going to do you any good, but you've got to let them know. ~ Tommy Lasorda

And I will place within them as a guide My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear Light after light well used they shall attain, And to the end persisting, safe arrive. ~ John Milton

I want you to know that I am one of the more fortunate people in life. There aren't too many of us that somebody selects and says, 'You know, that guy ought to be an umpire.' That's what happened to me. ~ Doug Harvey

In and effort to be fair, an umpire will sometimes cheat. ~ Dan Gutman

I've never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes. ~ Leo Durocher

Since people, in a competitive or any other society, are by no means always just to each other, some regulation by the state in its capacity of umpire is unavoidable, What must be kept in mind is that the greatest in of all is done when the umpire forgets that he too is bound by the rules, and begins to make them as between contestants in behalf of his own prejudices. ~ Felix Morley

I just umpire. That's what I've done. That's all I can do. I'm one of the fortunate ones on God's earth. I found what God meant for me to do. People ask if I like working home plate best. I just want to be between the white lines. That's where I belong, and I wouldn't have it any other way. ~ Doug Harvey

Stengel admitted. "I'm not going to make any decision until I have to give the umpire my batting order. Then you'll know as well as I." The next afternoon, Casey resisted ~ Andrew O'Toole

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out. ~ Larry Goetz

Just death, kind umpire of men's miseries. ~ William Shakespeare

Anyone interested in becoming a professional umpire and becoming eligible to work in the minor leagues must attend one of the two umpire schools sanctioned by Major League Baseball. ~ Jim Evans

Chaos umpire sits And by decision more embroils the fray by which he reigns: next him high arbiter Chance governs all. ~ John Milton

Listen to your hearts, parents! You are the expert when it comes to knowing your child. I love the Scripture that says we are to let the peace of God rule in our hearts ... In other words, peace in your heart is to be like an umpire calling the shots. When in doubt
DON'T! ~ Sherrie Eldridge

The existence of a free market does not of course eliminate the need for government. On the contrary, government is essential both as a forum for determining the "rule of the game" and as an umpire to interpret and enforce the rules decided on. ~ Milton Friedman

Most plays that are missed by the umpire are caused by the umpire not reading those cues early enough and making the proper adjustments. ~ Jim Evans

The public wouldn't like the perfect umpire in every game. It would kill off baseball's greatest alibi - 'We was robbed.' ~ Billy Evans

Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it. ~ Red Barber

But, you may ask, if the two departments [i.e., federal and state] should claim each the same subject of power, where is the common umpire to decide ultimately between them? In cases of little importance or urgency, the prudence of both parties will keep them aloof from the questionable ground; but if it can neither be avoided nor compromised, a convention of the States must be called to ascribe the doubtful power to that department which they may think best. ~ Thomas Jefferson

Germany Schaefer, trying to send a subtle hint to umpire Billy Evans that the game ought to be called, appeared at second base wearing a yellow rain slicker, ~ Charles Leerhsen

The umpire ... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order. ~ Neville Cardus

And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. COLOSSIANS 3:15 ~ Joyce Meyer

As we all know, Cooperstown is the home of baseball. One of the many duties of the home plate umpire is to make sure that the runner touches home. Well, if you're a true baseball fan, you need to visit Cooperstown. This is home. ~ Doug Harvey