Twinkies Quotes

If Twinkies grew on trees, as nature intended, then I would like to irrigate your fertile valley. When we make love, bring your own knitting equipment. ~ Jarod Kintz

Amazingly, we've become a culture that considers Twinkies, Cocoa Puffs, and Mountain Dew safe, but raw milk and compost-grown tomatoes unsafe. ~ Joel Salatin

I thought 'Twinkies' was just a word for 'cookies,' not a specific thing. They kind of scare me a little bit because they last forever. ~ Tove Lo

I could enjoy the simple life with a small living quarters, a scratched album of Johnny Cash and a Box of Twinkies ~ Stanley Victor Paskavich

I, Brody, promise to love you, Lucy and Piper, just as much as I love your mommy. I promise to love you and protect you and always take care of you, no matter what. From this day forward, you will always and forever be my Twinkies. I also promise to always kill all the spiders. ~ Beth Ehemann

Champagne was discovered by a Catholic monk," said Bernard. "Took one swallow and burst out of his cellar yelling, 'I'm drinking stars, I'm drinking stars!' Tequila was invented by a bunch of brooding Indians. Into human sacrifice and pyramids. Somewhere between champagne and tequila is the secret history of Mexico, just as somewhere between beef jerky and Hostess Twinkies is the secret history of America. Or aren't you in the mood for epigrams? ~ Tom Robbins

God, Quinn, you have no idea how permanent I'd like this to be. I'd like us to be Twinkies and cockroaches, death and taxes. ~ Penny Reid

She bypassed the junk food aisle altogether. "Okay, Faith. Hold up." He grabbed the end of her cart and pulled it down the aisle. Snagging a bag of potato chips, he tossed them in her cart. "Better. Let's find you some Twinkies. ~ Kelly Moran

Short blonde hair, big rectangular forehead, like Frankenstein made a second monster, and that monster loved death metal and Twinkies. ~ Scott Kelly

Once you change, change happens.

This is a big lesson. Expecting someone else to change is like pleading with a manufacturer to turn Twinkies into a green smoothie. It makes no sense, right? Often times we feel people are purposely doing or not doing things for us in a relationship – we want to make them better, not for their personal development, but how to make this person fit our image of the perfect partner. We want them to dress, act and say things at certain times. It becomes a conditioned relationship. ~ Sadiqua Hamdan

There are three things in this world that will survive a nuclear explosion: Twinkies, cockroaches and Dean Ambroses. ~ Dean Ambrose

The Dieter's Daughter

Mom's got this taco guy's poem
taped to the fridge, some ode to celery,
which she is always eating.
The celery, I mean, not the poem
which talks about green angels
and fragile corsets. I don't get it,
but Mom says by the time she reads it
she forgets she's hungry. One stalk
for breakfast, along with half a grapefruit,
or a glass of aloe vera juice,
you know that stuff that comes from cactus,
and one stalk for lunch
with some protein drink
that tastes like dried placenta,
did you know that they put cow placenta
in make-up, face cream, stuff like that?
Yuck. Well, Mom says it's never too early
to wish you looked different,
which means I got to eat that crap too.
Mom says: your body is a temple,
not the place all good twinkies go to.
Mom says: that boys remember
girls that're slender.
Mom says that underneath all this fat
there's a whole new me,
one I'd really like if only I gave myself
the chance. Mom says: you are
what you eat, which is why she eats celery,
because she wants to be thin,
not green or stringy, of course--
am I talking too fast?--
but thin as paper
like the hearts we cut out
and send to ourselves,
don't tell anyone,
like the hearts of gold
melons we eat
down
to the bitter rind. ~ Anita Endrezze

I want your womanizing mama's-boy football-player butt all to myself and if I catch you with any Twinkies or beautify queens or anyone else, you'd better run fast because I will hunt you down. ~ K.A. Tucker

You all set?" he asked, tossing me a pair of sunglasses.
"Wow, nice." I felt the frame, rubbing my finger over the lenses to wipe away a smudge. "Not bad, Phoenix."
"Twinkies." He slid his pair on and adjusted the gun across his chest. "Told you. Breakfast of champions."
- Skylla and Jet ~ Rachael Wade

Did you eat my Twinkies?"
She gulped. Keeping her eyes glued to the whip, she said, "Exactly what Twinkies are we talking about?"
"The Twinkies in the cupboard over the sink. The only Twinkies in the trailer." His fingers convulsed around the coils of leather.
Oh, Lord, she thought. Flayed to death for a Twinkle.
"Well?"
"It, uh - it won't happen again, I promise you. But they didn't have any special marking on them, so there was no way I could tell they were yours." Her eyes remained riveted on the whip. "And normally I wouldn't have eaten them - I never eat junk food- - but I was hungry last night, and, well, when you think about it, you'll have to admit I did you a favor because they're clogging my arteries now instead of yours."
His voice was quiet. Too quiet. In her mind she heard the howl of a rampaging Cossack baying at a Russian moon. "Don't touch my Twinkies. Ever. If you want Twinkies, buy your own. ~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I love Twinkies, and the reason I am saying that is because we are all supposed to think of reasons to live. ~ Stephen Chbosky

I don't want you going there without me, ever…do you understand what I am saying?" he asks me, searching my face, probably looking for any sign of dissention.
"Let me get this straight, what if I got a craving for…I don't know…Twinkies in the wee hours of the morning and all that was open was the Seven-Eleven. You're saying I should wake you up, even if you're crashed out, just so that you can go with me on a treat run?" I ask skeptically, trying to gauge his level of commitment to this course of action.
"Genevieve, Twinkies are really bad for you, but if you had to have one, then yes, that's what I'm saying," he smiles at my scenario. "Do you really like those things?"
"I'm not going to tell you if you're going to tease me, but I will say that it's suspiciously inhuman not to enjoy a Hostess snack from time to time," I reply coyly. "I'll buy you one. You'll love it, I promise."
And I'll be doing the world a favor at the same time, I think, remembering him without his shirt on. ~ Amy A. Bartol

I thought this was a cookout. You know, dogs and burgers, Tater Tots, ambrosia salad" Dexter picked up a box of Twinkies, tossing them into the cart. "And Twinkies."
"It is," ... "Except that it's a cookout thrown by my mother."
"And?"
"And my mother doesn't cook."
He looked at me waiting.
"At all. My mother doesn't cook at all."
"She must cook sometimes."
"Nope."
"Everyone can make scrambled eggs, Remy. It's programmed into you at birth, the default setting. Like being able to swim and knowing not to mix pickles with oatmeal. You just KNOW. ~ Sarah Dessen

Hostess Bakery plants shut down due to a workers' strike. It was split up. The State Department hired all the Twinkies, the Secret Service hired all the HoHos, the generals are sleeping with the Cupcakes and the voters sent all the Ding Dongs to Congress. ~ Argus Hamilton

And father said "I never wanted this. I'm sick of everyone pretending to be old Dan Beavers in his L. L. Bean moccasins, and his Dubbelwares, and his Japanese bucksaw -- all these fake frontiersmen with their chuck wagons full of Twinkies and Wonderbread and aerosol cheese spread. Get out the Duraflame log and the plastic cracker barrel, Dan, and let's talk self-sufficiency! ~ Paul Theroux

Fried twinkies? Paris nodded. Only once, I've never forgotten the experience. It's like heaven in your mouth, man. ~ Gena Showalter

Harold: "It so happens I was discussing great works of literature with Toby."
Chester: "Since when is a Twinkies wrapper considered a great work of literature? ~ James Howe

If you look at forces that improved products like socks, sweaters, and Twinkies,the engine that drives that system is economics. It's economics that breaks down for software so that it remains indefinitely in its present primitive stage of evolution. ~ Brad Cox

Let's treat politicians like Twinkies. They have to disclose their ingredients - i.e., where their money is from - but beyond that, let the buyer beware. ~ Jonah Goldberg

Your heart is your soul twinkling in the black firmament inside you ... ~ John Geddes