M A S H Quotes

Are you dedicated to your patient or your ego? ~ M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team

I'm from Port Arthur, Texas! Little guy! Little character guy from one of the saddest oil-refinery towns in America. And here I was driving over to Beverly Hills, to 20th Century Fox, to be on 'M*A*S*H!' ~ G.W. Bailey

Bob Altman got nothing from the TV series 'M*A*S*H,' and the royalties for the theme song went to his oldest son, Michael, who wrote it as a 15-year-old poet! ~ Mitchell Zuckoff

For those of you that have been following Ultimate Spider-Man, you know how we took that show and brought it to the next level of what Marvel Television is doing. And Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. was the next level of what we wanted to get to. ~ Jeph Loeb

I hope they make a show like M*A*S*H, which dealt with a lot of difficult subject matter but was very funny. ~ Joan Severance

The hardest thing for me about making movies, and that included 'M*A*S*H' because it was made like a movie, was starting and stopping. ~ Alan Alda

I suppose it's true that most great television, literature, and other forms of high art (and basic cable) benefit from a little hindsight. 'M.A.S.H.' comes to mind. So does 'The Iliad.' ~ Kevin Bleyer

What's a man worth without love ? $.89 worth of chemicals." Hawkeye Pierce ~ M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team

It's one thing to admire a man's work. It's another to get your picture in the paper doing it." General Clayton ~ M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team

War is war and Hell is hell, and if you ask me, War is a lot worse. ~ Alan Alda

Alan Alda and his wife Arlene are two of the most life-affirming people I've ever met. He espoused equal rights for women while producing, writing, acting in and directing 'M*A*S*H'; he used to commute between the set and home because he didn't want to disrupt his kids' schooling. ~ Sanjeev Bhaskar

Colonel Henry Blake, a surgeon: "I can paint a barn with someone else's blood. I just can't stand to see my own. ~ M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team

You don't have to hurt somebody just to make sure they don't hurt you first." Hawkeye, in one of his less cynical moments. ~ M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team

Growing up, I remember the 'Cheers' finale and 'M*A*S*H' and all these amazing finales, and I remember them being very, very important. ~ John Krasinski

I blame the SJW gatekeepers for killing genre and suppressing M*A*S*H parodies. ~ G. Arthur Brown

She was humming something melancholy and familiar. I strained to make it out - a folk song? a lullabye? - and then realized it was the theme to M*A*S*H. Suicide is painless. I went downstairs. ~ Gillian Flynn

Do you really understand all this army stuff?

It helps not to be too bright, sir. ~ M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team

[H]is mouth pursed, but pursed in American, more generous than English pursing, ready for broader vowels and less mincing sounds. His body was long and lean and trim; he had American hips, ready for a neat belt and the faraway ghost of a gunbelt. ~ A.S. Byatt

A wise man once told me that a person can do anything once they realize they're apart of something bigger. It's taken me awhile to understand that. For years, I was just a face in the crowd, a history teacher who spread HYDRA's lies. They seemed to imposing for any one person to fight. But now, I'm choosing to stand up, to become apart of something bigger. I really do believe that together, we can accomplish anything. Because the truth is, I'm not just a history teacher. My name is Phil Coulson, and I'm an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. ~ Phil Coulson

I would do anything to make you as happy as you make me. You are an amazing woman, and deserve to be treated like a princess. Let me be your Prince Charming, and I will make all of your fairytales come true. ~ S.H. Timmins

I'm not saying M.B.A.s can't be great entrepreneurs. They can. But you don't need a degree to figure out it's costing you $5,000 per month to run your business, so you need $30,000 to keep it going for six more months. ~ Fred Wilson

Enough!" Romanoff barked. "Look around you. You're on a military transport. Nobody's flirting. S.H.I.E.L.D. does not run a dating service." "Well," Coulson said, "technically it's frowned upon, but I'd be lying if - " Romanoff glared at Coulson, and he fell silent. ~ Margaret Stohl

Getting out of bed in the morning was a small triumph, and making it through the day without breaking down was an accomplishment. ~ S.H. Kolee

P R E S I D E N T Y O S H I D A'S T E N S P A R T A N R UlE S Hideo Yoshida's quest for management excellence was no doubt driven by his visions for Japanese marketing and media, but also by an overall worry about Japan's economic prospects after World War II. As a result, he developed a set of business and work principles, or rules, which he called the "Ten Spartan Rules": difficult work.5. Once you begin a task, complete it. Never give up.6. Lead and set an example for your fellow workers.7. Set goals for yourself to ensure a constant sense of purpose.8. Move with confidence. It gives your work force and substance.9. At all times, challenge yourself to think creatively and find new solutions.10. When confrontation is necessary, don't shy away from it. Confrontation is often necessary to achieve progress. These traditional work rules still guide Dentsu's employees, and are carried around in their notebooks ~ Anonymous

The stench of the pigpens made him take shallow breaths. Michael desperately wanted another drink to drown his sorrows…or, more aptly, his angers. He promised himself that once he found the source of the problem, he'd head to Rigsby's and let alcohol smooth the edge off his ire. Maybe with a few drinks in him, he could better handle Prudence. Nothing else I've tried has worked.
"Michael!"
At the sound of his wife's voice, he stiffened. Speak of the devil. Is there a word for female devil? He couldn't think of one. He nodded good-bye to Hong and was stepping away when---
"Michael, I want to talk to you!" Her voice rose until the timbre was almost a shriek. She ploughed pell-mell for him, her face red with anger.
Hong ducked into his tent. Out of sight, maybe, but not out of earshot.
The Guans' should stuff cotton in their ears to block out the worst of Prudence's screeches.
"I need a drink," he said, beginning to turn away.
"Oh, dear Lord. Don't tell me you're a drunkard like that Obadiah Kettering. Is that another thing you omitted to tell me about your character?"
He swung back.
She was inches away, arms flung wide.
"You omitted telling me I'd be marrying a shrew," he said. "You should have written the word at the top of your fancy stationary in big block letters." He sketched the word in the air and stated each letter. "S-H-R-E-W."
"Why…why I never!" Her mouth opened and closed as if she sought just the right words to h ~ Debra Holland

When it's time to retire, maybe I could disappear too." "I always thought you'd end up taking a director's position at S.H.I.E.L.D." "Some day we all retire, Isaiah. The trick is to be sure you do it well before life is done with you. ~ Nathan Edmondson

I would have been fired a hundred times at a company run by M.B.A.'s. But I never went into business to make money. I went into business so that I could do interesting things that hadn't been done before. ~ Amar Bose

There was a day on the set of Iron Man where I said, "I remember some of this stuff. I definitely had some Iron Man books. But, S.H.I.E.L.D. is a little bit of a weak spot for me." ~ Clark Gregg

So much interviewing these days is about the presenter - I?m a clever boy, I?m going to be smart with people; or it?s a trivial - how do you like your eggs boiled? ~ Michael Parkinson

As an experienced editor, I disapprove of flashbacks, foreshadowings, and tricksy devices; they belong in the 1980s with M.A.s in postmodernism and chaos theory. ~ David Mitchell

I thought, 'Oh, this is great,' because maybe someone who does look like me will watch 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' and realize that they can be an actor if they want to be, or they can be a superhero. They can have a hero that looks like them as well. ~ J. August Richards

First item in the crew roster is given name, so I'll input 'Skippy'. Second item is surname-"
"The Magnificent."
"Really?"
"It is entirely appropriate, Joe."
"Oh, uh huh, because that's what everyone calls you," I retorted sarcastically, rolling my eyes. Not wanting to argue with him, I typed in 'TheMagnificent'.
"Next question is your rank, this file is designed for military personnel."
"I'd like 'Grand Exalted Field Marshall El Supremo'." "Right, I'll type in 'Cub Scout'. Next question-"
"Hey! You jerk-"
"-is occupational specialty."
"Oh, clearly that should be Lord God Controller of All Things."
"I'll give you that one, that is spelled A, S, S, H, O, L, E. Next-"
"Hey! You shithead, I should-"
"Age?" I asked.
"A couple million, at least. I think."
"Mentally, you're a six year old, so that's what I typed in."
"Joe, I just changed your rank in the personnel file to 'Big Poopyhead'." Skippy laughed.
"Five year old. You're a five year old."
"I guess that's fair," he admitted.
"Sex? I'm going to select 'n/a' on that one for you," I said.
"Joe, in your personnel file, I just updated Sex to 'Unlikely'."
"This is not going well, Skippy."
"You started it!"
"That was mature. Four year old, then. Maybe Terrible Twos."
"I give up," Skippy snorted. "Save the damned file and we'll call it even, Ok?"
"No problem. We should do this more often, huh?"
"Oh, shut up. ~ Craig Alanson

I do. I feel wonderful. Are you sure it's Carol Mardus?" "Yes. Certainly. It shouldn't have taken me so long." "Who and what is she?" "She got Dick started. She was a reader at Distaff, and she got Manny Upton to take Dick's stories. Then later he made her fiction editor. She is now." "Fiction editor of Distaff?" "Yes." "She wasn't on your list." "No, I didn't think of her. I've only seen her two or three times." "C-A-R-O-L? M-A-R-D-I-S?" "U-S." "Married?" "No. As far as I know. She was married to Willis Krug, and divorced. ~ Rex Stout

You never answered," he said. "You got the hots for me, or not?" His dark eyes lit up with a smile.
Squaring her shoulders, Holiday started talking. "Della assumed I might have the hots for you. And you know what they say about assuming, right?"
"It makes an ass out of you and me," Della answered, and gave Kylie the elbow. "Get it. A.S.S.U.M.E."
Holiday cut her eyes to Della in visual reprimand, then started walking away. She got three steps and swung back around. "Are you coming?" she snapped at Burnett.
"You didn't ask me to," He answered.
"Well, I assumed you would know I needed to discuss what happened."
He arched one dark brow upward. "And what did you just about assuming? ~ C.C. Hunter

That's the point. Blood is the point.
B-L-O-O-D I-S T-H-E P-O-I-N-T
If I could bleed out the Crapper into the ring, I'd do it.
If I could bleed out everything that's wrong with my life, I'd bleed until I was empty ~ A.S. King

Every man is a mystery. Some men harbor beautiful secrets, others hide darker ones. The only way to know a man's true nature is to pierce his outer shell and gaze within. ~ S.H.I.E.L.D

There was a point in the late '90s where all the graduating M.B.A.'s wanted to start companies in Silicon Valley, and for the most part they were not actually qualified to do it. ~ Marc Andreesen

K H A D I J A S A Y S . . .
In Kashmir when we wake up and say 'Good Morning' what we really mean is 'Good Mourning'. ~ Arundhati Roy

You`re a woman. Act like it. You shouldn`t be saying such foul-'
'I`ll say whatever I please. I'm not a lady, I`m a pirate!'
'Well, you shouldn`t be!'
'And why`s that? I`m plenty good at it.'
'Because pirates aren`t supposed to look like you and talk like you talk and do what you do. You`re confusing, and it`s messing with my head. ~ Tricia Levenseller

What television gets to do, and there's a reason why 'S.H.I.E.L.D.' works as well as it does, is that it deals with the relationships. It deals with the very small, interpersonal ways that people both love and hate each other. ~ Jeffrey Bell

You're not damaged. But even if you were, I'd spend the rest of my life fixing you. My life isn't mine either,Caitlin. I can't explain it, but since I've met you, I've felt a connection to you so strong that I can't deny it. I don't want to deny it. So my life isn't my own. It's yours. ~ S.H. Kolee

I thought there would be more time in my trailer to write during 'Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.,' but I seem to be always flying in a harness and conquering supervillains instead. ~ Clark Gregg

I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T ... Uh, I mean S-M-A-R-T. ~ Homer

Don't judge. I'm not getting drunk. I'm coping. ~ A.S. King

Your friends are three and your enemies are three. Your friends are: your friend, the friend of your friend, and the enemy of your enemy. Your enemies are: your enemy, the enemy of your friend, and the friend of your enemy. ~ Hazrat Ali Ibn Abu-Talib A.S

My instincts told me that death would somehow be ... different. But my rational mind reminded me that I had probably tempted fate one too many times. At least, I thought it was my rational mind. It sure seemed like the usual voice inside my head. Thank God there was only one of them. ~ M.A. George

Olive thought she had forgotten what pain could be. She was a railway tunnel in which a battering train had come to a fiery halt. She was a burrow in which a creature had wedged itself and could go neither forwards nor back. ~ A.S. Byatt

I find the attempt to find things out, which scientists are possessed by, to be as human as breathing, or feeding, or sex. And so the science has to be in the novels as science and not just as metaphors. ~ A.S. Byatt

It didn't work. It didn't work because I knew not to give the best of myself to the worst of people. ~ A.S. King

Death should be a seduction, not a rape. ~ A.S.A Harrison

There's a huge battle going on today with so-called intelligentsia vs common sense, and common sense is losing. ~ M.A. Bookout

I do love you, my Florence. Will you always be so sensible?"
"No. I quite expect to become very silly as I grow older. Everyone seems to. ~ A.S. Byatt

The mystery of the MAGIC BATHROOM will be revealed unto thee. ~ Peter Rogers

Autobiographies tell more lies than all but the most self-indulgent fiction . ~ A.S. Byatt

For someone so intuitive," he said, shaking his head, "sometimes you only see what you expect to see. ~ M.A. George

I'm more interested in books than people, and I always expect everybody else to be, but they're not. ~ A.S. Byatt

We're alive. We have words and shapes and ideas. We will throw them at you when you do not believe. We will throw our love and our hate and our failure and success. We'll split in two right in front of you and be our best and our worst. We'll lie and tell the truth. ~ A.S. King

Then, Valentine's Day came. There was a dance, and balloons and flowers and cheaply made rings and all sorts of lame teddy bears and stuffed animals, as if teenagers can be wooed with the same shit as five-year-olds. It was the Dietzes' most hated holiday of the year, too, because it dealt with the consumerization of something sacred. Mom and Dad had agreed never to buy each other anything on the day. It was a false, Hallmark holiday. A sham. A moneymaking sideshow for insecure couples who didn't have true love. I agreed with this, for the most part. ~ A.S. King