Birthday Sex No Literally Quotes

And then . . . we're going to get in my car."
I waited for him to elaborate on a destination. "And?"
He gently kissed the nape of my neck. "What do you think?"
I couldn't help a small gasp of delight. "Oh, wow."
"I know, right? I was racking my brain for the best present ever, and then I realized that nothing was going to rock your world more than you and me in your favorite place in the entire world."
I swallowed. "I'm kind of embarrassed at how excited I am about that." Never had I guessed my love of cars would play a role in my sex life. Eddie was right. Something had happened to me.
"It's okay, Sage. We've all got our turn-ons."
"You kind of ruined the surprise, though."
"Nah. It's part of the gift: you getting to think about it for the next three days. ~ Richelle Mead

We all know that sex is the most interesting topic in the world. We love to talk about sex. There's no juicier gossip than who is sleeping with whom. And we love to read about sex. Check the top 1000 books on Amazon. Most of them have a shirtless guy on the cover, because they're smutty "romance novels" (read: porn for women) about a girl being swept off her feet by one (or more) billionaire alphamales. There are literally tens of thousands of books out there about shirtless billionaire alpha-male vampires who can't wait to mate with you. Lucky you! And women eat that shit up! Men, not so much. We men prefer to watch actual porn. And there's a perfectly good explanation for that. ~ Oliver Markus Malloy

Wait, you clean my dildo?' I ask, slowly. 'Every week, I clean it with the polish.' 'With furniture polish?' 'Yes.' 'Jesus.' Sophie got me the dildo for my birthday present three years ago. I have never used it. No matter how little sex I get, I've never been able to get turned on by a piece of rubber. And thank God; I'd probably have died of toxic poisoning by now with half a gallon of Mr Sheen being wedged up my vagina. 'Katya, ~ Dawn O'Porter

The last time I had sex," I said, "was Halloween."
He nodded slowly. "That was my birthday."
I choked on my waffle. This was getting worse and worse. "No!"
"Why do you think they called me 'Poe'?" I had always guessed it was because he was morose and taciturn and creepy.
"Um ... because 'Hotstuff' was taken? ~ Diana Peterfreund

I won't even try to pretend to know what bugs think about during sex, but right about the time the male praying mantis is probably thinking that he's quite the stud, the female does something pretty surprising. Yes, even for horny, bat-shit-crazy, homicidal copulating bugs. Once she has had enough of copulating, she moves on to the next phase, which is masticating. No, not masturbating ... masticating. This is a fancy-schmancy word for chewing. She chews his head off. And no, I don't mean like, "Why didn't you bring me flowers and chocolate?" Oh, no. She literally bites his head off ... and here's where it gets really interesting: She eats it. ~ Michael Makai

Lying," he said out loud, hoping no one would hear. "I need to lie. Teach me, quickly."

I wouldn't if I were you, came the response. For a start, it's a variable concept here. You are in a culture where ambiguity has been raised to a high level. Let me give an example: depending on phrasing, circumstance, expression, body movement, intonation and context, the statement "I love you" can mean I love you; I don't love you; I hate you; I want to have sex with you; I do, in fact, love your sister; I don't love you any more; leave me alone, I'm tired, or I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. The person being talked to would instantly understand the meaning but might choose to attribute an entirely different meaning to the statement. Lying is a social act and the nature and import of the lie depends in effect on an unspoken agreement between the parties concerned. Please note that this description does not even begin to explore the concept of deep lies, in which the speaker simultaneously says something he knows to be untrue and genuinely believes it nonetheless: politicians are particularly adept at this. ~ Iain Pears

All that adrenaline running through him with no outlet - God, what would sex be like with a man who literally vibrated with energy the way he was now?
Explosive. Unforgettable. The exact opposite of how sex with Jerry had been.
Becca realized that, against all common sense, she was dying to find out. ~ Cat Johnson

The Sexual plight of these children [those adolescents experimenting sexually] is officially not mentioned. The revolutionary attack on hypocrisy by Ibsen, Freud, Ellis, Dreiser, did not succeed this far. Is it an eccentric opinion that an important part of the kids' restiveness in school from the onset of puberty has to do with puberty? The teachers talk about it among themselves, all right. (In his school, Bertrand Russell thought it was better if they had sex, so they could give their undivided attention to mathematics, which was the main thing.) But since the objective factor does not exist in our schools, the school itself begins to be irrelevant. The question here is not whether sexuality should be discouraged or encouraged. That is an important issue, but far more important is that it is hard to grow up when existing facts are treated as though they do not exist. For then there is no dialogue, it is impossible to be taken seriously, to be understood, to make a bridge between oneself and society.

In American society we have perfected a remarkable form of censorship: to allow every one his political right to say what he believes, but to swamp his little boat with literally thousands of millions of newspapers, mass-circulation magazines, best-selling books, broadcasts, and public pronouncements that disregard what he says and give the official way of looking at things. ~ Paul Goodman

At that stage of my youth, death remained as abstract a concept as non-Euclidean geometry or marriage. I didn't yet appreciate its terrible finality or the havoc it could wreak on those who'd entrusted the deceased with their hearts. I was stirred by the dark mystery of mortality. I couldn't resist stealing up to the edge of doom and peering over the brink. The hint of what was concealed in those shadows terrified me, but I caught sight of something in the glimpse, some forbidden and elemental riddle that was no less compelling than the sweet, hidden petals of a woman's sex.
In my case - and, I believe, in the case of Chris McCandless - that was a very different thing from wanting to die. ~ Jon Krakauer

In the late 1860s, Myra Bradwell petitioned for a law license and argued that the 14th Amendment protected her right to practice. The Illinois Supreme Court rejected her petition, ruling that because she was married she had no legal right to operate on her own. When she challenged the ruling, Justice Joseph Bradley wrote in his decision, "It certainly cannot be affirmed, as a historical fact, that [the right to choose one's profession] has ever been established as one of the fundamental privileges and immunities of the sex." Rather, Bradley argued, "The paramount destiny and mission of women are to fulfill the noble and benign offices of wife and mother."40 Meanwhile, ~ Rebecca Traister

Jesus warns people far more often about greed than about sex, yet almost no one thinks they are guilty of it. ~ Timothy Keller

Meanwhile, I continued my academic work in religious studies, delving back into the Bible not as an unquestioning believer but as an inquisitive scholar. No longer chained to the assumption that the stories I read were literally true, I became aware of a more meaningful truth in the text, a truth intentionally detached from the exigencies of history. Ironically, the more I learned about the life of the historical Jesus, the turbulent world in which he lived, and the brutality of the Roman occupation that he defied, the more I was drawn to him. Indeed, the Jewish peasant and revolutionary who challenged the rule of the most powerful empire the world had ever known and lost became so much more real to me than the detached, unearthly being I had been introduced to in church. Today, I can confidently say ~ Reza Aslan

You're right: if there's sentient life behind the border, it probably won't share my goals. Unlike the people in this room, who all want exactly the same things in life as I do, and have precisely the same tastes in food, art, music, and sex. Unlike the people of Schur, and Cartan, and Zapata - who I came here in the hope of protecting, after losing my own home - who doubtless celebrate all the same festivals, delight in the same songs and stories, and gather every fortieth night to watch actors perform the same plays, in the same language, from the same undisputed canon, as the people I left behind.

"If there's sentient life behind the border, of course we couldn't empathize with it. These creatures are unlikely to possess cute mammalian neonate faces, or anything else we might mistake for human features. None of us could have the imagination to get over such insurmountable barriers, or the wit to apply such difficult abstractions as the General Intelligence theorem - though since every twelve-year-old on my home world was required to master that result, it must be universally known on this side of the border.

"You're right: we should give up responsibility for making any difficult moral judgments, and surrender to the dictates of natural selection. Evolution cares so much about our happiness that no one who's obeyed an inherited urge has ever suffered a moment's regret for it. History is full of joyful case studies of people who followed their na ~ Greg Egan

I don't go to the gym. I've always been very athletic and kept very active. I used to run track. I literally have no desire to get a gym membership. ~ Dawnn Lewis

What's that saying? Behind every gorgeous woman, there's a man sick of screwing her? Well, it works both ways. No one mentions that part. ~ Taylor Jenkins Reid

No one ever tells you how much a heartbreak physically hurts. How it literally feels like you've been kicked down the stairs. How you can't swallow. How every muscle aches. How your heart lurches inside you like it's been poisoned. Nobody tells you that. ~ Holly Bourne

Left to their own devices, women would stop having sex after they have children. There's no evolutionary need for it. Our brains know it, our body knows it. Who feels sexy during the slog of motherhood, the middle-aged fat roll and the flattening butt? ~ Maria Semple

They can get married. They can marry a man if they're a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they're a man ... there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There's no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life. You're an American citizen first and foremost and that's it. ~ Michele Bachmann

One night of sin with Jack. No commitment. No promises. Just hot, sweaty, headboard-banging sex.
Jeana E. Mann. Intoxicated (Kindle Locations 828-829). ~ Jeana E. Mann

When I was younger, thinking about whether I wanted children, I always came back to this formula: if no one had told me anything about the world, I would have invented boyfriends. I would have invented sex, friendship, art. I would not have invented child-rearing. ~ Sheila Heti

If you're one of those people who worry that the English language is going to the dogs, linguists are of no help to you. Whatever it is that annoys you - double negatives, the demise of whom, the non-standard usage of literally - linguists will answer that a language is a living thing, and is always changing. You can't stop the process, so you'd better get used to it. ~ Gaston Dorren

When we clearly understand that there is no superior sex or superior race, we will have opened the door of communication and laid the foundation for building winning relationships with all people in this global world of ours. ~ Zig Ziglar

Until opportunity is as free from sex discrimination as the right to vote finally came to be, no man has any right to criticize women for failure to measure up to men. ~ Mary Barnett Gilson

I had no room now for this fear, or for any other fear, because I was filled to the brim with music. And even when it was not literally (audibly) music, there was the music of my muscle-orchestra playing - "the silent music of the body," in Harvey's lovely phrase. With this playing, the musicality of my motion, I myself became the music - "You are the music, while the music lasts." A creature of muscle, motion and music, all inseparable and in unison with each other - except for that unstrung part of me, that poor broken instrument which could not join in and lay motionless and mute without tone or tune. ~ Oliver Sacks

I'm not the casual sex type."
"Yeah, I gathered that. Why? Bored?"
"I wish." Josh gave a short laugh and shook his head. "No, sex with me is complicated. ~ Aleksandr Voinov

She stepped in closer and studied my face. "What's that?"
"What's what?"
"That weird goofy grin you're giving me - holy face full of sex! You slept with him!"
"What? No, I - "
"Don't try to outsmart the sexoholic, Liz. You totally boned him!"
Like a little girl who'd just gotten her first kiss, I squirmed. "I totally boned him!"
"Sweet Jesus! Yes!" She stood up on the front porch and started chanting. "YES! YES! YES!!! The drought is over!"
Tristan turned our way and raised an eyebrow. "Everything okay, ladies?"
I pulled Faye back down to sit and giggled. "Everything's fine."
"Including that sweet ass of his," Faye muttered with a smirk. "So, how was it?"
"Well, let's just say I gave his thing a nickname."
Tears formed in her eyes and her hands flew over her heart. "My little girl is growing up. Okay, what's the name?"
"The Incredible Hulk."
She cringed. "I'm sorry, what?"
"The Incr - "
"No, no. I heard you the first time. You mean that green monster thing? Liz, are you fucking a guy with a green penis? Because if you are, you need a tetanus shot." She eyed me up and down, cringing. "And higher standards. ~ Brittainy C. Cherry

No 'jump into a book' wasnt meant literally, and Yes, you are now banned from the Ferndale library. ~ Librarians For Social Change

A person's sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. No matter what corruption they're taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment ~ Ayn Rand

There's no love in you because there's no sex in you. Sex is light and fertility and life and communication! You only have this ... pornography and submission and blackness and death! You're like a faggot! ~ Mary Gaitskill

The moral of the story here is that if you're ever offered anything that seems like it might lead to sex, there is no turning back. You just have to take it as it comes or you will remain a virgin for life. ~ Bennett Madison

[Demystifying lesbian sex for an interviewer] In a way, the sex isn't really that different ... From what I can tell, no, not really. All the things that men and women do together, think of everything that men and women do together, women and women can do together. And that makes you realize that sex is just simply about connecting with another person, or about intimacy ... ~ Jennifer Beals

I don't text, I don't have a Blackberry. Literally, I just have a cell phone that I haven't programmed and the whole Bluetooth. No. I don't even have an earpiece for my cell phone. ~ Steve Carell

Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn't read his stuff. Collin McCann is like the Carrie Bradshaw of Chicago men."
"You mean Terry Bradshaw," Jack corrected.
"No, Carrie," Wilkins repeated. "You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City."
A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men. ~ Julie James

No one can make you 'better' emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. You have to find this for yourself. You have to taste that brutal moment when you're crying in a corner of the room, curled up on the floor and you think this is your end. You have to fight to stand up, literally. And you have to walk over to your reflection and scream, scream it all out. Then you have pick up your sword and fight and never quit. This is your life. Don't let those bastards win. ~ Crystal Woods

If you feel dirty, insignificant or unloved, then rats are a good role model. They exist without permission, they have no respect for the hierarchy of society, and they have sex 50 times a day. ~ Banksy