Sam Ewing Famous Quotes
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A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.
Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.
President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?
Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.
On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?
Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.
As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.
Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.
Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.
The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
There's no thief like a bad movie.
Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.
Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.
The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
Nothing in the world can replace the modern swimsuit, and it practically has.
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.
